Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Divisional Round



  • The Atlanta Falcons, in the most predictable event of the season, underperformed when it mattered. They were terribly disappointing in their 15-10 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. You have Julio Jones, Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman, Mohamed Sanu, et al. -- how do you only score 10 points?!? 
Unimpressed Dance Moms GIF by Lifetime Telly

  • In Atlanta’s defense, the Eagles seemed to have some mysterious force at work for them that turned sure interceptions into catches.


  • WHY won't I learn? What is it about the Falcons that I can't accept? THEY'RE NOT PLAYOFF MATERIAL. Every year, I swear I won't fall for their regular season mirage, but I always do! This year is the last year I ever put any faith in Atlanta in the postseason. I'm done with them forever. For real this time.
Over It Im Done GIF



  • I thought after their humiliation in the Super Bowl last year, the Falcons would be zeroed in on redemption, like when the San Antonio Spurs got their hearts broken in the 2013 NBA Finals and stewed on it all through 2014 to come back and dominate the rematch for the championship. But they didn't. 
  • The field conditions in Philly looked absolutely dreadful. The poor Falcons were slipping all over the place.
  • If you want to make an Atlanta fan cry, here's how close the Falcons were to winning the game on their last play. 

  • Look, the New England Patriots were going to beat the Tennessee Titans. We all knew it. They didn't need help from the refs … but they got it anyway. Why is it that controversial calls always, always, always break in New England's favor? Here's an atrocious offensive pass interference on the Titans that forced them to punt, even though the Titans player is clearly within the five yards of the line of scrimmage where interference is allowed. New England scored on the following drive to take a 14-7 lead. 

  • A few drives later, the Patriots false started on a 4th-and-5 punt. One official originally called it a false start, but another overruled him and called it defensive encroachment. Instead of punting, New England got a fresh set of downs and scored on the drive to increase their lead to 21-7.

  • And THEN, down 21-7, Tennessee has to go for it on fourth-and-1. The Titans had a terrible play call and were stopped, but should have been given an automatic first down for this face mask penalty. But no. Because Patriots.


  • If those calls get called correctly, it might have been 14-10 or 14-14 at halftime instead of 21-7. New England probably would have still won, but it would have been nice (and actually entertaining) to see how that game would have played out. Harumph.


  • Jacksonville coming out of Pittsburgh alive was the biggest surprise of the weekend. It sounds cliched, but it really does seem like this was a trap game for the Steelers, despite the Jaguars beating them 30-9 earlier in the season. Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin, running back Le’Veon Bell, and safety Mike Mitchell all referenced their presumed rematch with New England in the AFC Championship Game ... before they even made it there. Even Steelers offensive lineman David DeCastro called the pre-game talk "stupid" and "embarrassing."

Note to self: save the trash talking for your current opponent next time.


  • One of these quarterbacks won the game, and it’s not the one with five touchdown passes.
  • Myles Jack -- who is a linebacker!! -- had one of the prettiest interceptions I’ve seen in a while. Jacksonville's offense outside of Leonard Fournette is suspect, but their defense is formidable. 


  • Despite Jacksonville’s 21-0 early lead, the Steelers didn’t give up. They clawed their way back and put on a pretty spectacular performance outside of the first quarter. I hated the Pittsburgh call to go for it on 4th-and-5 early in the fourth quarter … until Antonio Brown caught this touchdown! What a throw! What a catch!




  • There were some inexplicable calls by the Steelers, especially going for the onside kick late in the game. WHY do you go for the onside when you have 2:18 left, two timeouts, and the two minute warning, and you’re only down by seven, and you’re facing a Blake Bortles-led offense?? On top of that, it was a pitiful attempt that only went about six yards. Terrible decision.
  • This is absolutely wild. Jacksonville defensive end Calais Campbell actually called the 45-42 final score last week!! 


  • The announcers kept saying things like “Jacksonville not going away,” and “Jacksonville’s hanging around.” It’s kinda sad but also funny talking about a team that way when they led the entire game. 
  • So Jacksonville was very affronted by the Steelers' Patriots talk and understandably so. After the game, the Jaguars were gloating and talking trash about Steelers and crowing about disrespect and so forth. And then....
Maybe don't do what the Steelers just did to you.

  • Alright, so we’re going to have to cheer for the Jacksonville Jaguars against the New England Patriots next week. It could happen. Crazy things happen in this world. Anything’s possible. Any given Sunday. We just have to believe, no matter what all logic and experience tells us. Sigh. I guess I better climb aboard the Blake Bortles train.
Yay. Let's go, Blake.


  • Okay, so that Minnesota Vikings-New Orleans Saints game. Wow. And I thought Willie Snead missing a wide open Alvin Kamara for a touchdown was going to be New Orleans' most heartbreaking moment of the game. But no.

  • What a crazy ending! With 25 seconds, one timeout, and down two points, it seemed like the Vikings would need a miracle just to get a chance at a long, last-second field goal. They got their miracle and ended up with a walk-off winning touchdown. 

  • It was kinda adorable watching the faces of all the Vikings. They’re all so conditioned to disappointment that none of them can quite believe that they actually won. Case Keenum and Stefon Diggs were so cute in the locker room: “Hey, I don’t know what happened!” “I don’t know what happened either!’
  • As with all epic sports moments, you should listen to the local radio call. To quantify how unlikely that ending was, MInnesota's win percentage with 10 seconds left was 2.6%!

  • I feel just terrible for Marcus Williams, the rookie safety whose whiffed tackle gave Minnesota the game, but the Saints wouldn’t have even been in the game at the end without Williams’ third-quarter interception. Luckily most people are being nice to him, like two little girls who wrote him letters and went to the Saints' facility the next day to drop them off.
And the fans who greeted the Saints at the
airport in the middle of the night.


"Flew" like paid for their flights, I'm assuming. I don't think
he actually piloted them all himself.


  • After his firing, my old-man crush Chuck Pagano took out a full-page ad in the local paper thanking Indianapolis fans for his six years there.  

  • Just a little reminder for Dallas Cowboys fans. I wouldn’t want them feeling left out this weekend.

  • Joe Buck looks more ridiculous each week. Why is he bleaching his hair like a 1990s boy band member?
Just embrace it, dude, and go all grey.

  • The Vikings will play the Philadelphia Eagles, and the two quarterbacks are former teammates with an odd history.



  • Now, like all good Americans, I will be cheering for anyone but New England to win it all. Any of the other three teams would be A-okay by me. As far as my preference, I hate to say it, and I feel terribly guilty feeling this way, but … I think I like the Vikings the best. Ugh not only are they a despised division foe, but they’re also the team that took out poor Aaron Rodgers this season. I should hate them extra hard this year.
The Force Awakens Traitor GIF by Star Wars



  • Once my Packers are back in their rightful place atop the NFC North, however, I’ll go back to despising the Vikings, I promise. 








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