No Time to Gloat; On to Atlanta!

• Totally kidding. Of course there's time to gloat. That's what this entire post is going to be.

• When asked what he was thinking when the Dallas Cowboys tied the game with 35 seconds left, Aaron Rodgers responded: “A little too much time on the clock.” Hahahahahahaha! Sorry, Cowboys, not this year!

• AAAAAAHHHHHHH that was so stressful! And awesome! Any last-second Green Bay Packers victory in a playoff game is incredible, but it’s just so much sweeter that it came against the Cowboys. 

• I don’t even know where to start! Let’s start at the very end, with Mason Crosby nailing a 51-yarder for the victory. And just a few minutes after kicking a 56-yarder to take the lead. He actually had to kick the 51-yard field goal twice, as Dallas stupidly tried to ice him. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you don’t ice Mason Crosby. 

"I play games on the field, not up here."

• Here’s the kick set to “My Heart Will Go On.” Some funny people have realized that every sports moment sounds epic with this score in the background, and they’re right.

Condolences to the ever expanding Cowboys bandwagon. Packers bandwagon next week? (cc: @TitanicHoops) pic.twitter.com/qvrdoLKgKE

— Jessie Karangu 🇰🇪 (@JMKTV) January 16, 2017

• Let’s backtrack to that 35-second mark. Dallas has just tied it up, the Packers have the ball and two timeouts. I had been horribly nervous and upset in the fourth quarter as the Packers squandered their lead (I knew the Dallas comeback was coming, and I knew the Packers defense wasn’t going to be able to do much about it), but the crazy thing when Aaron Rodgers is your quarterback is that situations like these seem eminently doable. I knew we weren’t going to overtime. It was nice to have overtime as a fallback, but I knew we weren’t going to overtime. Even after the first incompletion. Even after Rodgers was sacked with 23 seconds left. Even after another incompletion. Then, with the clock down to 12 (COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT), Rodgers takes the snap, almost immediately spins left out of the pocket, buys time, buys time, and then hits tight end Jared Cook on this insane throw and catch!! This is about when I lost my mind. (Look at Rodgers on the replay trying to will Cook into keeping his toes in.)

• Cook has really been huge for the Packers. Having that big target really changes the way defenses have been covering the Packers, and it’s clear to see how Rodgers relies on him. On that last drive, every attempt was to Cook. Crazy what having an actual tight end can do, huh?

• Now that I’ve taken a veiled swipe at Richard Rodgers, I do have to give him props for his nice play on Green Bay’s first touchdown. On a free play, the ball actually went through the defender’s arms and Rodgers was still able to keep focus on it for the catch. Nice job.

• One of the thing that bothers me about R. Rodgers -- besides being super slow and klutzy and an embarrassingly bad blocker -- is that he always has a dopey grin on his face, even if he’s just messed up a huge play. He’s always smiling this odd dreamy smile. And I do mean always. Here he is on his touchdown reception:

Yep, still smiling.

• The Packers defense had a few rough spots -- and losing Morgan Burnett to a quad injury didn’t help (seriously, that’s bad news. We need him for Atlanta.) -- but they also had a bright spot or two. Defensive MVP of the game was clearly Micah Hyde, who had an early sack and a beautiful pass break-up in the first half. His best play, though, was this textbook read and interception off of Dak Prescott. He anticipated this so quickly that the ball’s almost behind him when he picks it off!

• It was fun to hear Hyde break down the play afterwards. He knew what was coming pre-snap, but didn’t want to leave the corner, LaDarius Gunter, out to dry if the Cowboys ended up adjusting -- Gunter would have been left to cover two receivers by himself. Gunter, however, saw the same thing pre-snap and knew what Hyde was thinking. He told Hyde, “Go get it.” And Micah did.

• I desperately missed my Jordy during the game, of course, but I was pleased to see his sideline prowess alive and well not only on Cook’s game-saving play, but with Green Eyes, too. (The full highlight is even more impressive.)

Perfect. #ToeDragSwag #GoPackGo #NFLPlayoffs pic.twitter.com/jqaSH7OXxr

— NFL (@NFL) January 15, 2017

• Aaron Rodgers threw his first interception in 318 passes on Sunday (only 17 passes off the record!), which is just madness. Another way to look at it? Aaron Rodgers threw 24 touchdowns in between interceptions. That’s as many touchdown passes as Dak Prescott threw all season. And that's no knock on Dak; just perspective on how good Rodgers has been.

• There were some low-key MVPs I would like to recognize.
• First, Aaron Rodgers not fumbling on that sack with 18 seconds left. No idea how he hung on. 

Lord, how did Rodgers not fumble that? pic.twitter.com/5AOuXlZiIY

— Scott Charlton (@Scott_Charlton) January 16, 2017

• Second, the sideline judge who overruled the head judge on the Cook catch.

• Finally, Jason Garrett/Dak Prescott for clocking the ball on a first down with 1:07 left, thereby wasting a down instead of using their timeout.

• I don’t like to kick a team when it’s down, but it’s the Dallas Cowboys we’re talking about, so you can sure bet I’m going to do it. The Cowboys played fantastic all season and should be credited for it. However, it seems that they benefitted from playing a lot of really bad teams, too. Below are the final season offensive rankings for all the teams the Cowboys played (by points scored). Aside from the Packers (who were certainly not #4 at the time they played) and the Steelers, none of the teams Dallas played are even in the top ten offensively. Just saying.
• 11-5 Giants – 26th (played twice, lost twice)
• 8-7-1 Redskins – 12th (played twice)
• 3-13 Bears – 28th
• 2-14 Niners – 27th
• 6-9-1 Bengals – 24th
• 10-6 Packers – 4th
• 7-9 Eagles -16th (played twice, lost once)
• 1-15 Browns – 31st
• 11-5 Steelers – 10th
• 8-8 Ravens – 21st 
• 8-8 Vikings – 23rd
• 9-7 Buccaneers – 18th
• 9-7 Lions – 20th 

• Man, what a game. It’s hard not to celebrate too much and revel in the salty, salty tears of all of the Cowboys’ bandwaggoning fans, but the Packers still have a lot of work to do. GO PACK GO!

👍👍 #GBvsDAL #GoPackGo pic.twitter.com/mSLCEQDGyM

— Green Bay Packers (@packers) January 16, 2017

• This space was to be used to talk about the New England Patriots-Houston Texans game, but one team’s quarterback is Tom Brady and the other’s is Brock Osweiler. How do you think it went? 

• The new Los Angeles Chargers’ logo is awful. It looks like a Chinese symbol meets an italicized hashtag meets a broken fence meets a corporation called “4A.”

They shall henceforth be known as the "4A Chargers." (At least to me.)

• Some people noticed a slight resmblance between the 4A Chargers’ logo and the Los Angeles Dodgers' logo.

• And other pro teams couldn't help piling on. (The Chargers eventually "clarified" that this isn't actually their new logo. Okay, sure.)

• I’ve spoken up before for Troy Aikman and Joe Buck -- I really do not understand why so many people hate them! They are so much better than absolutely everyone except for the Sunday Night Football crew. The vitriol toward them is especially weird coming from Packers fan, tens of thousands of whom have signed a petition to get Aikman and Buck banned from calling Packers game. Fans apparently think that the two are biased when it comes to Green Bay, and they’re absolutely right, because Aikman and Buck don’t even try to hide how much they love the Packers. Have either of them said a bad word about Aaron Rodgers? I mean, ever? Have they ever gone an entire game without congratulating Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy for their success? How often to they bring up the fans and the town and how unique the Green Bay team’s relationship with the community is? If other teams’ fans were signing that petition, that’d make sense, because they’re probably sick of hearing Aikman and Buck gush over the Packers. So bizarre.

• I really hate Pete Carroll. His teams are full of @$$holes and loudmouths. They’re dirty, cheap players and sore losers. The second the game gets out of hand for them, you can put money in the bank that they’re going to start taking cheapshots and trying to injure opponents. It’s one of their hallmarks, and given how consistent it is, I’ll lay the blame for that at the feet of the Robber Baron himself.

• Here’s Seattle defensive end Michael Bennett chewing out a reporter after the game who had the nerve to suggest that the Seahawks defense didn't get as much pressure on Atlanta QB Matt Ryan -- who threw for over 300 yards -- as they were perhaps hoping to:

• And here’s injured Seattle safety Earl Thomas going after a team they weren’t even playing:

• Keep in mind that the Seattle Seahawks play in the same division as the 2-14 San Francisco 49ers and the 4-12 Los Angeles Rams. Next best after Seattle was the 7-8 Arizona Cardinals. So why don’t you just focus on healing up, Earl?

• Despite the close 18-16 score in the Pittsburgh Steelers-Kansas City Chiefs game, the Steelers really controlled nearly the entire game by controlling the clock. The Chiefs had a 4:54 drive in the third quarter (resulted in a punt) and a final drive of 7:06 (resulted in a touchdown). Other than that, the Chiefs averaged less than two minutes per drive.

• About that last touchdown. Down eight with 2:43 left in the game, the Chiefs scored and elected to go for the two-point attempt to tie the game. And they made it!! Buuuuuut, the play was called back by a hold on the left tackle. The re-attempt failed and that was your final score: 18-16 Pittsburgh.

• As you might imagine, the Chiefs were not happy with the holding call. (I think it was the right call and no, I don’t think “a hold could be called on every play!” is a strong argument for not calling this one.) After the game, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce went off on the ref, saying the call was "horse$#!+, flat-out" and "ignorance." He said the ref "shouldn’t be able to wear a zebra jersey ever again. He shouldn’t even be able to work at $#^%ing Foot Locker.”

• A couple of things for Kelce: 1) That was a hold, so quit complaining about the ref and saying James Harrison just fell down. The issue is you don’t think a hold should be called in that important of a situation. That’s different than saying the ref made up the call. 2) “We try to play this game with integrity,” Kelce says. Hmm, yes, tell me more about your integrity, Travis.

• I really don’t care about the Steelers or the Chiefs, and I do think the hold was a good call, but I also kinda feel like you don’t deserve to win if you can’t manage a single touchdown. I certainly don’t want to run down kickers after what Mason Crosby just did for my life, but all 18 of Pittsburgh’s points came off the leg of kicker Chris Boswell.

• The NFL is all about player safety, you know. That’s why they have independent neurologists right on the field to examine players after big hits and evaluate them for concussions. It’s really great for the players, like Chris Conley, who was put back in the game one play after taking this hit:

• I know that the Kansas City Chiefs were the technical favorites in the game, but c’mon, who’s afraid of the Kansas City Chiefs? They could go 16-0, and no one would ever even pick them to go to the Super Bowl.

• You know who I used to feel that way about? The Atlanta Falcons. For so many years, I’d be really impressed with Matt Ryan and the Falcons, only to have them goose-egg in a huge game or miss the playoffs in a weak division. So somewhere about two or three seasons ago, I told myself I was going to stop falling for Atlanta’s hey-look-we’re-a-contender routine because I’d just seen it one too many times before. I genuinely have felt bad for their fans for a while because it must suck to have a super talented team that you have absolutely no faith in. Even earlier this season, as they got blazing hot once again, I had to remind myself not to forget that they always disappoint:

• But now? Maybe now’s the season they finally figure it out? With Matt Ryan as the MVP frontrunner and an offense that scores more points than any other team, they’re looking, well, scary, to a team like Green Bay, whose glaring weakness is their pass defense. Matt Ryan’s probably looking at our defense like:

• Not so fast, Matty Ice. This means your defense has to go up against Aaron Rodgers.

• Atlanta may very well be the toughest matchup for Green Bay, but there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic about the game. Reasons #1-19 all rhyme with Taron Todgers, but our defense has also had some good moments throughout the year and have come up with big stops with games on the line. The Packers played the Falcons very, very close this year, losing a heartbreaker by one point, and the Packers are a much better team now than they were in Week 8. (The Falcons, for their part, didn’t have their #1 receiver for much of the game, but never mind that.) Green Bay’s best defense will probably be keeping their own offense on the field and keeping Ryan & Co. sidelined. It’ll be a tough game, but I BEEELIIIEEEVE!

• And there’s a chance we get this guy back.

*Swoon*

That Was ... a Lot Easier Than I Expected

• I’ll be honest: I was pretty worried about the Green Bay Packers facing the Seattle Seahawks, especially after seeing the Seahawks dismantle the Carolina Panthers 40-7 last week. All my anxiety was in vain, however, because the Pack came out hot and never cooled off in their 38-10 victory over Seattle. Pete Carroll's stress-chewing must have been off the charts. 

• It sure helped that Russell Wilson had an off-day and threw five interceptions. Morgan Burnett, Quinten Rollins, and Micah Hyde grabbed a pick each, and Damarious Randall notched two. In the previous 12 games this season, Green Bay had a total of eight interceptions. I’m inclined to think Sunday was an anomaly, but well done nonetheless, DBs. Keep it up!

• Strong safety Burnett has played at inside linebacker for snaps here and there this year as a “change-up” look, but spent a good chunk of Sunday at linebacker to help put a lid on Seahawks’ tight end Jimmy Graham. The package seemed to work, as Graham was limited to one catch for 16 yards, and Burnett had yet another strong game.  

• Well, well, well, look who leads the NFL in receiving touchdowns? Maybe this will get my brothers to stop saying that Nelson’s no good since his injury.

• Speaking of Jordy, he and Rodgers scored their 57th touchdown on Sunday, tying Brett Favre and Antonio Freeman for the most touchdowns by a quarterback and receiver in Packers franchise history.

• The big downside to Sunday’s victory was the injuries. Aaron Rodgers, playing with a left hamstring injury, suffered a right calf injury which even further limited his mobility. Green Eyes left the game briefly with injuries to one, possibly both, ankles, but was able to return to the game. (Handsome and tough as nails! *dreamy sigh*) Ty Montgomery was in some serious pain as doctors looked at his shoulder on the sidelines, but he continued to play. Tight end Jared Cook left with a bizarre-looking chest injury when he came down hard on an incompletion (turns out it was a lung contusion -- ow), but is expected to be ready next week. Plus Clay Matthews is playing essentially with one arm. All of the above should be able to play next week, but the battered-and-bruised state of the team continues to be worrying. 

• Those damn, dirty Seahawks are truly a Pete Carroll team. The way you can tell? As soon as they’re down, they start taking cheap shots, some of which included a facemask on Nelson, punching TJ Lang below the belt, taking a shot at Richard Rodgers’ head, and going after Cobb while Green Bay was in victory formation (see below). Said Cobb: “They’re just cheap. Bunch of front-runners. That’s Seattle, for you. That’s what they do. It was all over the field.” Preach, Green Eyes.

• And here’s Richard Sherman going after Davante Adams away from the play.

• And here’s Adams owning Sherman on Jeff Janis’ touchdown later in the game. So there.

• Here’s a scary stat about the Green Bay running game: Eddie Lacy still leads the Pack in rushing yards for the season … and he hasn’t played in the last eight games. Our quarterback has the second-most rushing yards for the season. Yikes. 

• Aaron’s line for the game: 18-of-23 for 246 yards, three touchdowns, no turnovers, and a 150.8 (!) passer rating. 

• We’ve talked before about how Mason Crosby is a really good tackler. He’s saved Green Bay’s bacon on more more than one kickoff return, and did so again on Sunday. Then he helped the guy up, too, because he’s sweet like that.

• Aaron Rodgers was signing autographs for fans to garner donations for the Salvation Army and matching all donations and he bought pizza for all the fans standing in line. Aww, quite the Santa Claus.

• Larry McCarren is a former Packers offensive lineman (nicknamed “The Rock”) who is now best known as a beloved local Packers sportscaster. Look at his finger. 

• Next up for Green Bay is Bears Week II. Don’t sleep on the Bears! Don’t get me wrong, they still suck -- they are the Bears, after all -- but we cannot afford a trap game right now.

• I’m also pretty annoyed at the Bears right now after they got my hopes up on Sunday when they took the Detroit Lions down to the wire. Chicago had a good chance at the game, getting the ball back with three minutes left, down three, with all three timeouts plus the two-minute warning, and yet couldn’t make anything happen and ended up turning the ball over on downs. AND I don’t even get to see Jay Cutler getting sacked and intercepted anymore, so I have absolutely no use for the Bears these days.

• If the playoffs started today, the Seahawks would be the only NFC team that also made the playoffs last year. 

• Le’Veon Bell!! Holy cow! The Pittsburgh Steelers running back had 236 rushing yards against the Buffalo Bills. Throw in his receiving yards, and he finished the day with 298 all-purpose yards -- 23 more than the entire Bills’ offense.

• The Oakland Raiders came back down to earth a bit on Thursday night after a terrible night from MVP-contending quarterback Derek Carr resulted in a 21-13 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs. Oakland head coach Jack del Rio was in no mood to be comforted by Andy Reid after the game.

Reid & Del Rio postgame pic.twitter.com/LSu6W6L7nY

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) December 9, 2016

• It’s been a rough season at the office for official Jeff Triplette and his crew. Here’s a “hands to the face” call he made … against Detroit Lions #60.

• So the Los Angeles Rams fired head coach Jeff Fisher one week after giving him a contract extension. Hmm, kind of have to wonder about that. Was a 4-8 record really worthy of a contract extension, but 4-9 so beyond the pale that they had to fire him? It seems like, I don’t know, maybe they should have just waited a week before making any contract decisions?

• This latest Rams loss was particularly hideous, though. They were down 42-0 -- in the third quarter!! The Atlanta Falcons scored six touchdowns in the Rams’ stadium on Sunday, which is one more than the Rams have scored there all year.

• Speaking of truly pitiful teams, the Cleveland Browns still have not won a game this season. Next week will be the one-year anniversary of their last victory.

• Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill left Sunday’s game with a knee injury that was originally feared to be an ACL tear. Fortunately, it’s a ACL and MCL sprain that won’t require surgery. (Whew!) Maybe the injury accounts for this atrocious passing attempt?

• I love watching teams expertly down punts and kicks just outside the goalline. It’s a totally underrated highlight, in my opinion. Here’s a video of Tampa Bay’s Ryan Smith downing the ball at about the one-inch line while keeping his tippy toes just outside the endzone and tossing the ball to a teammate behind him. I like the freeze-frame even better.

• What’s up with Drew Brees? Three interceptions and zero touchdowns two weeks in a row. 

• A grateful nation rejoices after the New York Giants stopped the Dallas’ Cowboys win streak on Sunday night. New York squeaked out a 10-7 win, despite having this man at quarterback.

• The Giants defense was all over the Cowboys, allowing quarterback Dak Prescott to complete just 46% of his passes, forcing two turnovers, and sacking him thrice. In true Dallas Cowboys fans’ fashion, there were even some whispers of “Tony Romo.” EVERYBODY PANIC!

• The Cowboys are still 10-2, but both their losses have now come at the hands of the Giants who are again, led by this man.

i regret making this, but you all deserve it pic.twitter.com/IqUL6AJ92P

— Matthew Henderson (@mhenderson95) December 12, 2016

• The 9-4 New York Giants will face the 9-4 Detroit Lions next week, which means I’ll have to cheer for the Giants for a second week. (Saying that triggers my gag reflex.) 

• I don’t really think anyone can fault the Denver Broncos for going after Tennessee Titans’ receiver Harry Douglas after Douglas intentionally put his helmet into the knee of Broncos’ cornerback Chris Harris Jr. Since it was on a running play, Douglas maintains that the hit was a legal cut block, but that doesn’t explain why he’s hitting someone’s knee when he’s across the field from where the action is. “I’m not a dirty player, no matter what anybody says,” Douglas said, which is the equivalent of “At least my mother loves me” in terms of having no argument on which to stand.

• The Philadelphia Eagles’ long snapper (who is also an amazing magician who placed third on America’s Got Talent) got injured, so tight end Brent Celek was called up. He was not good. And he later got injured in the game, so the Eagles had “no idea” who would be long-snapping (is that a verb?) the ball for the rest of the game. Tight end Trey Burton stepped up and had to be the emergency backup to the emergency backup long snapper. Burton successfully snapped the ball on a made field goal, so yay for him! (Also, major props to the punter, who’s also the holder, who managed to take the snap that ended up nearly behind his helmet and get it down for the kicker. He’s the real hero of this story, but the emergency-backup-to-the-emergency-backup plot line sounds better.)

• In an interview last week, Derek Carr was asked about Johnny Manziel. Carr said Manziel was "such a good dude" and hoped he got things turned around. He said he'd love to "be a friend" to Manziel, and now I've put all my hope for Manziel in Carr's hands. If anyone can save Johnny Football, it's Carr! (I hope.)

Aww! I'm actually really touched by this.

• Phil Simms was in peak form on Sunday.

• One of the fake “problems” that NFL sportswriters have invented over which to wring their hands is the Pro Bowl not being competitive. Every year, there are anguished columns written about how the game should be done away with. (The solution? Don’t watch it if you don’t want to watch it.) The game is still on for this year, but the NFL just announced a skills competition that will be a part of the festivities, which should make a lot of people happy. The competition will feature a precision passing contest, a “best hands” contest featuring the best passer and receiver on each team, and … a dodgeball competition! That actually sounds like it could be fun.

• Green Bay's at 7-6 and still has a good shot at the playoffs. They just need to win their last three games and for Detroit to drop at least one of their next two. Totally doable. I believe! Who's with me? Can I get a high five!? Anyone?

We, Um, Might Need to Talk About Aaron Rodgers

• The Green Bay Packers 30-16 loss to the Dallas Cowboys was not pretty. At all. From the Packers giving up their first opening drive touchdown to the Cowboys putting up more rushing yards than the Packers have allowed in the previous four games combined to the increasingly normal impotence of the offense, it was a rough day for the Green and Gold.

Ugh and you just know that, somewhere, Jerry Jones
was grinning like the creepy emperor from Star Wars.

• As much as I like to blame all passing game ills on Davante Adams and Richard Rodgers, the truth is Aaron Rodgers is obviously struggling. Set aside any drops by the receivers, any bad play-calling, and Rodgers is still just missing things he very rarely misses. His interception into the guy of Barry Church was a perfect example of Rodgers, whose field vision is usually spectacular, failing to see Church coming off the outside receiver.

• And while I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED, and I’m sure Aaron will get out of his slump soon, and I don’t want to pile on to the guy, I also have to admit that I’m less than impressed with his attitude. He seemed to think he only had a couple of bad throws. Said Rodgers: 

We were close tonight. I missed a couple, possibly the one to [Richard] Rodgers down the middle, and I obviously threw it right to Barry [Church]... Other than that, I mean, there were multiple times when we had to extend plays because guys weren’t open on the normal timing or even slightly later than normal timing.

• Are those really the only times you can think of, Aaron? Not throwing a sure-touchdown six feet too high to Cobb? Or leading Jordy Nelson into crossing defenders? I understand you’re not getting the help you need from your receivers or your playcalls, but I’m going to need a little more abjection from you than a dismissive, “I gotta play better, for sure.”

More like this.

• I’ll say the same thing to Mike McCarthy as I said all of last season: “DO SOMETHING!!!!” Now, to his credit, he’s using more personnel, working in receivers Ty Montgomery, Trevor Davis, and Jeff Janis. But he’s still not doing a whole lot to help those receivers as far as pre-snap formations, picks, or creative routes. After Nelson and Cobb, there’s little evidence to believe that the Green Bay receivers can out-and-out win individual match-ups. That makes it easy for teams to focus on Jordy and Randall since neither Adams nor Montgomery nor Janis nor Rodgers nor anyone else has proven that he warrants extra defensive attention.

This is not the facial expression of defensive coordinators who play the Packers.

• The ailing Green Bay secondary did not help matters. Already without top corner Sam Shields, the Packers lost Quinten Rollins and Damarious Randall. This propelled LaDarius Gunter into the lineup, who is, uh, let's just say not ready for prime time. The coaches are (were?) high on Gunter last season and I’m certainly not going to give up on him, but he was absolutely undressed on nearly every single snap he played. 

• I remain very worried about Shields. I love him, but he needs to retire. Shields has been out with yet another concussion since Week 1 and he needs to start thinking about himself and his long-term health. It’d leave Green Bay up a creek, though. Maybe we can lure Casey Hayward back from the San Diego Chargers at a much-reduced contract. Think he’ll go for it?

Remember all the good times, Case!

• Eddie Lacy came to play, injured ankle and all. He only finished with 65 yards, but ripped off a couple of nice and surprisingly agile runs. What in the sam hill was McCarthy thinking, though, going into a game with an injured running back and no backup??

• Yes, James Starks was out with an injury. Try to contain your surprise. Mr. Glass really wore himself out averaging 2.8 yards per carry last week and suffered a knee injury. It’s rumored that Starks tore his meniscus and underwent surgery this week. He is not expected back for a few weeks at least. So I guess that leaves Green Bay with no healthy running back and two days until the next game. Here’s hoping McCarthy decides to pick up a running back really soon. Like, today.

I'm sorry, James, for real. I hope you recover
quickly and find a nice home on some other team.

• Green Eyes did notch a touchdown, his first of the season. The even worse stat is that it was just Rodgers’ first second-half touchdown of the season.

• Besides Lacy, the only real positive was Montgomery. He didn’t have a spectacular game, but had over 100 all purpose yards and got some good reps in.

• It was another rough week for Jordy. He had five catches for 68 yards, but coughed up a fumble for just the second time in his career. 

Don't worry, boo. We'll get 'em Thursday.

• The biggest downer was the four turnovers. How can you win a game with four turnovers?! On the season, the Packers’ turnover differential, which is my favorite stat, is a dismal -3. 

• One thing to look forward to is Tony Romo being able to return pretty soon. Jerry Jones, right on cue, has chimed in that Romo is totally healed and just needs to get back in shape. Jones has recently backed off his previously unwavering support for Romo to regain his starting job once healthy.

• I keep going back and forth on the Pittsburgh Steelers, but I think they’re not good. They beat the Washington Redskins, who aren’t terrible. They beat the Cincinnati Bengals, who are terrible (2-4). They got trounced by the Philadelphia Eagles, then beat the Kansas City Chiefs who are so unthreatening that I’m not going to even bother looking up their record. (Fine, it’s 3-2.) Then they beat the New York Jets, who are no good (1-5), and then lost to the Miami Dolphins (2-4) this week! Even if they weren’t bad before, they certainly will be now that Ben Roethlisberger is out for at least a few games with a torn meniscus that required surgery.

• Rough, rough no-call on Richard Sherman’s obvious pass interference that stole the game from the Atlanta Falcons. 

• Why is it that the Seattle Seahawks are always, always on the winning end of bad calls?? No wonder Pete Carroll is so smug all the time.

• Tom Brady is now 49-1 at home against AFC opponents since 2007. Insane.

• Check out this Vernon Davis touchdown. Watch it again. Did you see that egregious touchdown celebration?!?! Davis’ jump shot cost his team 15 yards for “excessive celebration” since he used the ball as a prop.

• I hate that I have an opinion on this, but I really prefer Carrie Underwood’s old SNF opening.

• Vontaze Burfict is the dirtiest player in the league and needs to be suspended every single time he gets a personal foul from now on. It’s what he’s known for and he does this crap week in and week out.
• Here he is trying to injure Martellus Bennett:

Vontaze Burfict going low on Bennett. Seemed unnecessary but what do I know. #Patriots pic.twitter.com/4DWnqa76TD

— Will D. (@WAD1980) October 16, 2016

• And here he is intentionally stepping on a New England Patriots player:

Video: From coaches film (courtesy NFL), watch Vontaze Burfict (55) deliberately step on Blount's leg after TD. pic.twitter.com/wtTPqy3XHP

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 17, 2016

• Ugh the worst sounding injury and the one that makes my skin crawl just hearing it is “lacerated kidney.” The Chargers’ Keenan Allen had one a couple of years ago, Andrew Luck dealt with that last year, and now Cleveland Browns safety Jordan Poyer looks to be out the rest of the year with the same.

• If your job were printing players’ names on their jerseys, wouldn’t you check the spelling before signing off on a jersey for someone named Prince Amukamara?

• The NFL is a mean and petty little tyrant. The league has declared that teams can no longer post their own highlights on their social media channels. Some teams, like the Eagles and the Browns, mocked the NFL by posting claymation-type videos of their highlights, which, hilariously, have now been pulled.

• Goodness gracious, the Indianapolis Colts had a 14 point lead with three minutes left and somehow lost! Much sympathy has been sent Andrew Luck’s way as the quarterback tries and tries to lift his dismal team out of the muck. One person who doesn’t have sympathy for Luck is Ryan Grigson, the Colts’ general manager. Grigson, defending himself against the charges of completely failing to put any talent around his #1 pick, blamed Luck’s contract, saying, "Once you pay Andrew what we did, it’s going to take some time to build on the other side of the ball.” Sorry, but uh-uh, Ryan. First off, boo-hoo, it’s so tough having had the top pick in the draft! Second, other teams have the salary cap, too. Other teams have quarterbacks with huge contracts, too, and they manage to pick better players than you have. Luck, for his part, continues to be entirely endearing and refuses to blame his horrible offensive line.

• Apparently, things are no good between Houston Texans head coach Bill O’Brien and quarterback Brock Osweiler, who reportedly had a blow up at a team meeting last week. It’s hardly a surprise considering their mail-order bride courtship, but Houston sportswriters must be tripping over themselves to write their “Houston, We Have a Problem” headlines.

"Whaddya mean it's been used? This is gold, I tells ya!"

• Ugghh the LA Rams not only lost to the Detroit Lions, but they also pulled my least favorite move during Detroit’s victory formation, injuring the Lions center and nearly injuring the quarterback. Nothing says low-class losers like trying to injure opponents after the game is over. I hate, hate, hate this bush league move. 

• I have to end with some devastating news: Green Eyes is engaged and, no, not to me. It’s a tough time, but I just want him to be happy.

We'll always have my near-constant Google Image searches of you.