Back on Top!! Err, For Now.

• AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH! Holy cow, what a finish!!! Aaron Rodgers to Richard Rodgers for the walk-off win on a Hail Mary! AAAAAHHHHH!

• Though I wasn’t planning on it when the clock hit zero, I do have to say something nice about Richard Rodgers since it was a very nice catch. I kinda love how super casual he is about this.

• The game seemed all but over when, with six seconds left, no timeouts, down two, the Green Bay Packers snapped the ball and began one of those desperate and improbable lateral plays. It ended with the ball being lateraled back to Aaron Rodgers, who was tackled, ending the game. EXCEPT! Except that Detroit Lions defender Devin Taylor facemasked Aaron Rodgers on the tackle. Since a game can’t end on a defensive penalty, that led to the always fun and exciting UNTIMED DOWN!

• And for you Detroit (and Minnesota) fans complaining about the facemask call, two things:

1. Yes, contact is minor, but Taylor does make contact with Rodgers’ facemask. Moving at full speed, it’s enough to turn Rodgers’ head, which is going to get called every time.
2. I don’t want to hear it after the blatant pass interference no-call the play before.

• As incredible and fun as the ending of the game was, it still doesn’t change the fact that the game was an absolute disaster for the first half. The Pack went scoreless in the first half for the first time in 56 games. They didn’t score in the second half of last week’s loss to the Bears, so it ended up being almost 70 game minutes in between Packers scores. Not counting yards lost and gained on penalties, the Packers had 74 total yards in the first half! Egads! That’s like one Jordy Nelson play!

This is how Jordy was feeling on the sidelines, which is how
everyone else feels when he's on the sidelines.

• After the humiliation of losing to the Chicago Bears on Thanksgiving, I thought Green Bay would come out on fire. But, no, they were just as limp as they’ve been the last five weeks. Again, the most disconcerting part was that the team looked like they had no faith.

• Of course there was some of this from Calvin Johnson.

• Even their first touchdown was little cause to celebrate as it came off a James Starks fumble. The ball rolled into the endzone and Randall Cobb jumped on it for the score. Way to hustle, Green Eyes.

• Things were bad even before the kickoff. Right tackle Bryan Bulaga and right guard TJ Lang were both inactive due to injuries. Center Corey Linsley (who has been dealing with an injury) left the game, so 60% of the offensive line was backups. Backup center JC Tretter came in for Linsley, but he had been listed as questionable for the game with an injury of his own. Oh and left tackle David Bakhtiari left the game with a knee injury, though he did return. That is absurd. Hopefully the extra few days they have this week will help the line get healthy.

• Seven seconds after Cobb scored on the fumble recovery, Julius Peppers and his go-go-gadget arms stripped Lions quarterback Matt Stafford and Green Bay recovered, breathing some hope into the team.

• Davante Adams caught a touchdown to cut Detroit’s lead to six with four minutes left in the third. I’m glad for Adams and his self-esteem that he got the TD, but he shouldn’t think for minute that that’s enough to restore my faith in him.

• The flame of hope continued to grow on the next series when the defense, which played well throughout, forced a punt! The Packers had to punt when they got the ball back, though. Then Detroit scored a field goal and ate a lot of clock (aided by a bone-headed neutral zone infraction by Peppers!), but the Packers responded with a drive that ended in a 17-yard Aaron Rodgers rushing touchdown. Detroit was up two with three minutes left! All the Packers had to do was force a punt and get into field goal range!! Unfortunately, the Lions picked up a big first down before having to punt, leaving Green Bay on their own 21-yard line, 23 seconds left on the clock, and no timeouts. There were a couple of incomplete passes (including one with the missed pass interference!), then the lateral play that went nowhere, the facemask penalty, and then the Hail Mary! The sheer distance Rodgers is able to throw it is impressive, but then look at the height!!! It almost hits the rafters!!

A video posted by Brandon Movitz (@brandicle) on Dec 3, 2015 at 8:54pm PST

• I am sooooo happy the Packers win …. but I have to admit that I feel terrible for the Lions. They definitely deserved to win that game. They were also on the short end of the stick when they lost to the Seattle Seahawks on a missed call. They started out a league-worst 1-7 before stringing together three really impressive weeks. And though they were still 4-7 coming into Thursday’s game, there was a sense of renewed hope and energy and confidence, and then….

• Argghh, Eddie Lacy, you can’t do this to me!! I don’t trust James Starks! We need you in the game! Lacy got only five carries and only four yards. It turns out that Lacy’s in the doghouse for missing curfew the night before the game. Dude, what the heck are you doing?!?! You’re having an off season, have fallen out of favor with your coaches, have sparked rumors of being overweight, have had ball security issues, have dealt with injury issues, and you’re just getting back on track, stringing together a couple of strong games, and then you go and do something stupid to get yourself (practically) benched?? Eddie, I’m going to need some stronger off-field decision making from you!

• The Green Bay running back situation is a mess. Fellow running back Alonzo Harris also missed curfew and was cut, while practice squad running back John Crockett was signed to the roster, made his first start, played well, and was super adorable in how excited he was. James Starks had nine carries, 15 yards, and two fumbles. And now the Packers reportedly worked out former Denver Broncos running back Montee Ball, which makes me nervous. Is Lacy also struggling with an injury again? Are they finally seeing my point on Starks??

• Anyway, all that’s left to say about the game is happy birthday, Aaron.

• Gross. I had to cheer for the Seattle Seahawks. The things I do for my Packers! Luckily, I didn’t need to cheer very hard since the Seahawks slaughtered the Minnesota Vikings 38-7, thus restoring Green Bay to their rightful place atop the NFC North.

• The St. Louis Rams lined up for a punt, then the punter sprinted towards the line of scrimmage -- a fake punt! The defense adjusted, and the Rams …punted. The ball ended up going into the endzone for a touchback, so I don’t know that the play benefited the Rams that much, but I love the thinking behind this fake fake punt.

• Remember when the Atlanta Falcons were 5-0? Remember when Matt Ryan used to be called Matty Ice?

• The only silver lining of Tony Siragusa as a sideline reporter is that it shows that the NFL is not sexist. They have male sideline reporters say inane and worthless things, too. This is absolutely 100% how I feel about Siragusa.

• This Jay Cutler’s pick-six is AWFUL, even for him. That’s the Jay we know and love.

• Dear Jesus, I have absolutely no attachment to Matt Schaub, and I dislike the Baltimore Ravens, yet I can’t bear watching him throw pick-sixes every week. Please have mercy on him and spare him! It’s painful to watch!

• After Schaub’s latest pick-six, the Miami Dolphins missed the extra point, but the Ravens were offside, so they re-kicked. The second try was blocked and returned all the way … but there was another offsides. The Dolphins gave up on kicking the PAT and just ran it in for two, but this whole exchange led to a funny entry in the game log, as Deadspin pointed out:

• While the offsides on Miami prevented the Dolphins from being the first team to ever return a blocked extra point for two points, that NFL first did happen in the New Orleans Saints-Carolina Panthers game!

• Gaaah! Why did the New Orleans Saints get my hopes up that they were going to be the one to put an end to Carolina’s thus-far perfect season?!?! If you’re just going to fall apart at the end, don’t bother getting me get all excited. The 4-8 Saints have been terrible all season long, but they actually played really, really well and were thisclose to pulling off the upset!

• New Orleans Saints cornerback Brandon Browner has 10 defensive holding penalties, five personal fouls, three pass interference penalties, and one illegal contact penalty on the year.

• I know I've said before, but I have to say it again: Mike Carey is so awful. It’s dumbfounding how he’s wrong on absolutely everything. I never, ever, in a million years, thought that anyone or anything could make me long for Mike Pereira.

Grr, Carey's putrescence is forcing me to say positive things
about this smug blowhard! That's how bad things are!

• At least the New England Patriots lost, their second loss in a row. The Pats were upset by the 4-7 Philadelphia Eagles, who finally figured out the trick to winning: rely on everything but your offense. The Eagles scored on a blocked punt, a 101-yard interception return, and an 83-yard punt return (and still almost lost!).

• It’s crazy cool to have Tom Brady at receiver, but when your team is using Groupons at the surgeon’s, maybe you shouldn’t expose your quarterback to extra hits.

• Only Odell Beckham Jr, after burning everyone for a 72-yard touchdown, would celebrate by then running the length of the endzone, jumping imaginary hurdles.

• The New York Giants have lost four games this year in which they held the lead in the final 60 seconds. If you’re wondering how in the heck does that happen, here’s your answer:

• I turned on Monday night's game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins with three minutes left. The game was tied 9-9, and I was grateful I hadn't watched the previous 57 minutes. But all of a sudden, things got crazy. On a Cowboys punt, Redskins returner Desean Jackson tried to make something happen, but ended up fumbling the ball!! (For the record, I thought his forearm was down and it shouldn't have been a fumble. I accept that no one agrees with me on this.) The Cowboys recovered and scored a touchdown two plays later to go up 16-9 with 1:14 on the clock. (The game could have been over on an easy field goal on this drive, but Cowboys running back Darren McFadden inexplicably allowed himself to be pushed out of bounds, stopping the clock.) Anyhoo, the Redskins return the ensuring kickoff 41 yards and got an extra 15 on a penalty. A few plays later, Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins threw a beautiful pass to -- who else? -- Desean Jackson for the touchdown! I dislike Jackson because he's a diva, but I was so happy for him to come back from that devastating fumble! Score tied 16-16 with 44 seconds left. Washington gave up a big return, allowing Dallas to midfield-ish. A couple of Dez Bryant completions quickly put Dallas in field goal range, and kicker Dan Bailey won the game on a 54-yarder. The Cowboys got their first win without Tony Romo. =(

• So let's see where that leaves the NFC East:
• Washington Redskins: 5-7
• Philadelphia Eagles: 5-7
• New York Giants: 5-7
• Dallas Cowboys: 4-8
• I honestly might have to boycott the NFL if they let one of these teams into the playoffs.

• Charles Woodson played in his 250th game on Sunday. He celebrated with a couple of fumble recoveries.

• What else can you say about Charles? He's just incredible.

• Sideline Ninja is pretending that the Packers’ terrible offense isn’t due to his absence because he’s so hot and humble, but we all know that that’s exactly what’s happening. Notice how Sideline can’t really offer any other explanation for the team’s struggles.

It's okay, J. We know you gotta say that because you're such a great teammate.

Uh, We Might Have a Problem

• Okay, we have to face the facts: that was pretty bad. The defense was bad, the offense was terrible, and everything I feared would happen when Jordy Nelson first went down in preseason happened.

• The Denver Broncos defense held Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers to 77 yards passing, and just 140 overall. Denver (500 yards) had more than triple Green Bay’s total yardage.

• The Broncos had 24 first downs to Green Bay’s 14 (it felt like four), and 7.9 yards per play compared to 3.0 yards. To be clear, it sucked.

• The only way the Packers managed to move the ball was off of Denver penalties. The Broncos racked up 93 yards on 11 penalties, meaning that they had more penalty yardage than Aaron Rodgers had passing yards.

• Rodgers was facing a ton of pressure all night, which, combined with the receivers’ inability to get open, made for a very long night for the reigning league MVP. I seriously kept on counting how many players Denver had on the field because it felt like they were playing with an extra defender. They were bringing pressure on every single snap and still somehow also perfectly covering Green Bay’s receivers.

C'mon, Green Eyes! We need you to step up!

• Sunday night’s game was a faith-shaking wake-up call for Green Bay fans, and it was probably needed. As Cris Collinsworth mentioned during the broadcast, the Packers came into the game ranked 22nd in passing yards, total and per game, so the offensive issues are not out of the blue. The Packers do have a lot they need to figure out, but there are a few reasons that fans shouldn’t overreact to Sunday’s loss:
• Denver’s defense is the best in the league. They are really, really good, both up front and in the secondary. They lead the league in total yards allowed, yards per game, yards per attempt, touchdowns allowed, sacks, and sack yards. They are second in the league in opposing quarterback passing rating and in takeaways. As I said, very good.
• Peyton Manning was having a “shut the #$&% up” game after weeks of speculation from the media about his career being over, whether he should be benched, should he retire, &c. The normally affable Manning was curt and defensive in his media session the last week, clearly sick of answering the same questions about his declining play over and over. His game against the Packers (340 yards, 72% completion, 12 yards per attempt) was one of his best in a shaky season (he has 11 interceptions to seven touchdowns). It was a statement game on the national stage. Hopefully the Packers won’t be playing against any other aging icons who are trying to defend their legacy and prove an entire country wrong. 

• Combine Peyton’s game with the fact that the Packers lost their best cornerback, Sam Shields, to a shoulder injury early on in the game, and then his backup, Quinten Rollins, to the same injury. (Not a good night to be a Packers’ defensive back’s shoulder.) The injuries also forced some of Green Bay’s remaining defensive backs to play positions that were not their natural position. Casey Hayward, for example, typically covers the slot, but was forced to move to the outside after Shields went down.
• Side note: speaking of poor Casey, why the heck didn’t the Packers try to help him (and later Demarious Randall) cover Demaryius Thomas?? Single coverage was obviously not doing it against Thomas, and rolling over a little safety help wouldn’t have been amiss much earlier in the game. I felt bad watching them get beat over and over again.

• I am not a Richard Rodgers fan. I’ve tried to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but his blocking is too often atrocious and he might as well be playing with concrete gloves. Furthermore, he was 100% responsible for the safety. It was his man who blew by him to strip Aaron Rodgers, then he couldn’t pick up the ball before it went into the endzone, then when he recovered it in the endzone, he tripped and fell. Geez. 

• Also, his face bothers me. I think it’s because after every time he drops a pass, he smiles serenely, and jogs slowly back to the huddle without a care in the world.

You can see he's even smiling while dropping passes.

• No rest for the weary/injured -- the Packers have will have another tough road game against the 7-0 Carolina Panthers.

• Ugh, the now 7-0 Broncos just acquired tight end Vernon Davis from the San Francisco 49ers. Like they need the help.

• Normally an interception isn’t a highlight for an offense, but check out Atlanta Falcons receiver Julio Jones insane speed in somehow catching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defender who grabbed an interception in the endzone. He looks CGI'd!

Julio Jones isn't human. pic.twitter.com/wGAPc066DY

— Blake Hartung (@Hartung_B) November 1, 2015

• Let’s all take a moment to remember that the 1-7 Detroit Lions, the Detroit Lions who lost in London on Sunday 45-10 to the 3-5 Kansas City Chiefs, were in the playoffs last year, and one controversial call away from the divisional round. From the press conferences, it's hard to tell who's checked out more, head coach Jim Caldwell or quarterback Matthew Stafford.

• JJ Watt had 2.5 sacks on Sunday to go with nine quarterback hits in the Houston Texans’ win over the Tennessee Titans. The Titans had an, er, interesting approach to blocking the best defender in the league, putting a lineman one-on-one far more than most teams do (which is never). When asked how many times he had a one-on-one matchups in the game, Watt replied, “Well, how many hits did I have?”

Oh, snap.

• Does anyone inspire less confidence during a game winning drive than Matt Cassel? No, really, I’m trying to think of a current quarterback who would make a fan feel worse in that situation. The Seattle Seahawks kicked a field goal with 1:06 remaining to take a 13-12 lead over the Dallas Cowboys. There was absolutely no thrill or suspense when the Cowboys took over because no one had any faith in them. The Dallas offense went incomplete, incomplete, sack, false start, incomplete to end the game. Your fake confidence is fooling no one, Matt.

• Okay, I take it back. I can think of one other quarterback who inspires less confidence. The San Francisco 49ers have decided to start Blaine Gabbert at quarterback next week. Sooo they're playing for a draft pick, I guess.

• At the age of 39, Charles Woodson was named the defensive player of the month and leads the league in interceptions (he got the 65th of his career on Sunday), which is pretty amazing, but Charles doesn’t understand why everyone’s so surprised:

• There were so many injuries this week!! The Monday Morning Quarterback listed just some of the injuries:

• That list includes a player who was knocked unconscious on the field (Ricardo Lockette), my favorite Dolphins player (Cameron Wake), and a 15-year veteran receiver (Steve Smith). All three of those are season-ending, which brings up an interesting situation for Smith. Smith, who was already playing with broken ribs, has said he would retire after this season, but coach John Harbaugh seemed confident that Smith would be back. Just in case he’s not, he should take a bow:

• The Bears had to call the police after they cut nose tackle Jeremiah Ratliff when Ratliff returned to the facility, saying that he was the devil, wanted to kill everybody in the building, and wanted staffers’ kids to die. Ratliff apparently has a history of violent outbursts. The most incredible story about Ratliff that has come out in the past few days is how last season, he flipped out at practice, started screaming at teammates, destroyed a game clock on the sidelines, and shoved a coach to the ground -- and then-head coach Marc Trestman made Ratliff a team captain the next day. I’m totally speechless.

Trestman has written a book on leadership, by the way.

• New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul returned to the team for the first time since severely injuring his hands in a Fourth of July fireworks accident. Pierre-Paul lost the index finger and part of the middle finger on his right hand, and seriously damaged the thumb as well. (Careful, the pictures are gruesome.) It’s a crazy story, but I do hope that he’s able to come back and play well.

• I was originally going to complain about the alternate uniforms that the Cleveland Browns wore in their 34-20 loss to the Arizona Cardinals. I mean, if your team name is the Browns, shouldn’t you have more than just two tiny stripes of brown on your jerseys? But then I saw the team name on the pants, and now these are kinda my favorite uniforms ever.

Every team should do that. It looks so cool!

• Holy wow, how about that New Orleans Saints-New York Giants game? The losing quarterback completed 73% of his passes, had 350 yards, and threw six touchdowns! Drew Brees had a 78% completion rate, 505 yards, and seven touchdowns!! And the game was decided by a punter and a kicker. New Orleans scored a touchdown to tie the game 49-49 with 36 seconds left. New York went three-and-out and had to punt with 20 seconds left, and the game looks like it’s going to overtime. The punt, however, was returned 24 yards, just across midfield. The returner FUMBLED, but New Orleans recovered the ball. There’s only five seconds left, which would pretty much mean the end of regulation, except that the Giants’ punter committed a facemask penalty!! That 15-yard-penalty put the Saints on the Giant’s 32-yard line. Kai Forbath, the New Orleans kicker who was signed two weeks ago and had yet to attempt a field goal for the Saints, knocked down a 50-yard field goal for the 52-49 win.

• Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has reportedly been playing with broken ribs since Week 3, which makes his poor play of late make a little more sense. The Colts, however, never disclosed a rib injury, and Luck hasn’t appeared on the injury report the past two weeks, which is a serious violation of the rules. It'll be interesting to see how the league decides to punish the Colts, assuming the report is true.

• With eight minutes left in the game, the Colts were down 23-6 to the undefeated Carolina Panthers. Then Indy scored a touchdown, forced a three-and-out, scored a touchdown, and forced another three-and-out! Then they had a nail-biting, grind-it-out, 16-play drive that ended in a field goal, sending the game to overtime! Then the Colts got the ball in overtime, scored a field goal, then Carolina scored a field goal. But then Andrew Luck threw another interception!! Gah! The Panthers kicked a field goal to win the game.  

• I really thought the stars were aligning for a incredible, season-saving Colts comeback. I mean, a series of crazy things had to happen:
• Carolina missed an extra point early in the fourth which meant the Colts only needed a field goal to send it to overtime rather than a touchdown.
• During the Colts game-tying drive at the end of the fourth, there was a catch that looked like it may not have been a catch, but there wasn't enough evidence to overturn.
• During that same drive, the Panthers tackled a Colts receiver in bounds, but the refs incorrectly called him out of bounds, stopping the clock with 19 seconds left and Indy out of timeouts.
• The Colts were doing all this against a defense like this:

• Linebacker extraordinaire Luke Kuechly dropped an interception in the endzone with two seconds left in regulation that would have ended the game right there.
• Ted Ginn Jr. dropped a touchdown in overtime that would have been the game winner.

• How could the football gods set us up for disappointment like that? A bedraggled and downtrodden team suddenly puts together an amazing fourth quarter against an undefeated opponent, gets several crazy turns of luck, only to lose on a field goal? That's not how Disney would have written it. Also, now Carolina is a game ahead of Green Bay in the NFC. Next week is huge.

• The loss dropped the Colts to 3-5. But no worries! They're in the AFC South, so they're still tied for the division lead! Haha, the joke's on the rest of the league and the winning teams that will lose a playoff spot to the AFC South!

• The AFC is pretty much wrapped up. The New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, and Denver Broncos are all atop their respective divisions at 7-0. Only two other teams in the entire AFC have a winning record.

• One of those other teams is the Oakland Raiders! Perhaps it’s because their head coach, Jack del Rio, is a cartoon superhero come to life.

• And here’s what he looks like before he finds a phone booth:

• The Baltimore Ravens defeated the San Diego Chargers on a field goal, and kicker Justin Tucker thought that deserved a celebratory dance.

• I’m not even going to make fun of him because he kinda seems like the coolest, weirdest person ever. He’s a practicing Catholic opera singer who has his realtor license and writes scouting reports on his teammates' cornhole skills.

• The Minnesota Vikings scored a touchdown against the Chicago Bears to tie the game 20-20 with 1:49 left in the game. The Bears ideally would get into field goal range, burn the clock, then kick an easy field goal with time expiring. If you can’t do that and aren’t able to score, you want to at least run the clock down and take it to overtime. If you can’t score and can’t run the clock out, you at least want to take as much time off the clock as possible. What you really don’t want to do is lay a three-and-out that takes all of 49 seconds, punt the ball, allow gains of four, 35, and nine yards, and then watch as the opposing team kicks a field goal with time expiring. Chicago took the latter route.

• The Vikings are only one game behind the Packers in the NFC North. Just something to keep in mind.

• When the San Francisco 49ers lined up just outside their own endzone, the St. Louis Rams didn’t even bother to cover TWO San Fran receivers on either side of the field. And Colin Kaepernick still decided to stick with the run. The Rams scored a safety on the next play.

• Last season, Green Bay was 8th in passing yards. After Sunday’s game, they’re 27th. That’s what Jordy does.