What. Just. Happened.

Is there really anything left to say about this game? The funny thing is that the horrific, game-stealing final call overshadows one of the worst reffed games I’ve ever seen. There was a ticky-ticky-tack pass interference call on Seattle’s Kam Chancellor. Then, the ref gave Aaron Rodgers a kicking ball on the 2-point conversion that the Packers missed. Brandon Browner took a dangerous cheap shot to Greg Jennings’ head which led to useless offsetting personal foul penalties.

But that was all before the final Seahawks drive. An interception of Russell Wilson that would have essentially sealed a Packers’ win was nullified by a phantom roughing the passer call on Erik Walden. Then, there was the supposed pass interference call on Sam Shields. When asked about it, the Seattle receiver Sidney Rice actually laughed about the call. I will even give you Golden Tate's blatant, two-handed shove in the back of Sam Shields on the final play that prevented Shields - who had inside position on Tate - from contesting the catch and allowed Tate a play on the ball. But the final call??????? That is four horrific, unconscionable, have-to-be-blind, game-costing penalties, all against the Packers, all on the final drive. What is left to say?

This video shows the plays in question:

The two refs standing in the endzone embarrassingly called opposite rulings, so I have no idea how it ended up being ruled a touchdown.

"Which one of us is right? ... Eeney, meeny, miny, moe..."

The most shocking thing of this all is that the final play was reviewed. And upheld. I think everyone who saw that saw that it was pretty impossible for Golden Tate to have simultaneous possession. As has been discussed on every tv channel, radio show, and internet site, simultaneous possession does not extend to players wrestling the ball away after an opponent has established possession. This is not what happened, as Tate was unable to wrestle the ball from M.D. Jennings, but I bring it up because that’s the only possible excuse that could be used, since Jennings clearly has both hands on the ball and the ball pinned to his chest before he comes down. You can see that Tate has his left hand going for the ball, but his right arm is free, away from the ball. So don’t tell me that a guy with one hand grappling for the ball has equal possession as the guy who has two hands around the ball and the ball against his body.  

As for after: 

Do not tell me this is simultaneous possession.

At least the rest of the country’s outraged along with me. Jon Gruden looked like he wanted to throw up. I thought Trent Dilfer and/or Steve Young was going to burst into tears talking about the integrity of the game. Justin Tuck says it's like playing craps. Aaron was less kind. Greg Jennings wanted Golden Tate to take a lie-detector test. 

How interesting is it that this happened to the only fan-owned team? Imagine if this had happened to Dallas, for instance. It would have put Jerry Jones in a very, very difficult spot. If he saw his team get screwed out of a W, wouldn't he have to break solidarity with the owners and say the replacement refs have to go? I think the league kind of got lucky that the Packers - and not any one of the other 31 teams - were on the raw end of this deal.

• Sigh. Let’s talk about the rest of the game - which is completely moot. The first half was possibly the worst half of a professional offense I’ve ever seen. 8 bleeping sacks?? What on earth is wrong with the offensive line? Aaron Rodgers is going to be in a wheelchair before the end of the season if this keeps up. It seemed very fortunate that the Packers were only down 7 at the half.

• The second half, on the other hand, was great. Mike McCarthy should have adjusted way, way earlier - the Packers only ran four run plays in the entire first half. When they committed to the run, they absolutely dominated time of possession, number of plays, and yards, and took control of the game.

• The Seahawks really killed themselves -- oops! I mean would have killed themselves, had they lost -- with stupid, pre-snap penalties. It really kept Green Bay in the game in the first half, although they had their fair share of penalties -- oops! I mean, they had their share of penalties.

• How amazing were the punters? It’s a sign of how bad the offenses were that the punters stood out as the best players, but they were both great. Jon Ryan was just destroying the ball - he had a 73 yard punt!!

• The defense was also excellent on both sides. Seattle has a fierce secondary, and, apparently, a very strong line, as well. The Packers defense played great, too. Though they only recorded one sack, they kept Wilson from finding any rhythm or comfort zone. They contained Marshawn Lynch admirably. They also had two interceptions -- oh, wait. Never mind ...

• I love how NFL.com’s tagline for fantasy football is “Go Legit.”  Don’t try to talk to me about legitimacy after this weekend, National Football League.

• The Monday Night Travesty also overshadowed what was already a brutal showing by the replacement refs this weekend. I was reading an article that was written before the Monday Night game which asked the question, “Was Sunday night’s Patriot-Ravens game the lowest moment of the NFL ref lockout?”  Just wait, oh, about four hours, buddy.

• Now this is what I was going to write about the referees before Monday’s game:

• The referees. Yikes. We can all keep hoping they’ll get better with time, but each week seems to bring bigger and bigger disasters, like, oh I don’t know, the entire Patriots-Ravens game. Like one ref throwing his cap on the field, right underneath a player’s foot.  Like allowing Jim Harbaugh to dumb-girl-flirt his way into a challenge when he was all out of timeouts.  Like an illegal blocking call on the kicking team.  Like not flagging a helmet-to-helmet hit that knocked Raiders’ receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey unconscious and put him in the hospital. Like John Harbaugh getting an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for trying to call a timeout. Like giving the Titans an extra 12 yards after incorrectly spotting the ball following a penalty - on a drive in overtime that ended in a game-winning field goal by Tennessee.

• That was on Sunday. Before I was mad.

•  This article does a good job pinpointing the problem with the refs:

“It's that aspect of replacement referee performance that's really come to surprise me over the first three weeks of the season. To be honest, it's not exactly unexpected that the officials would screw up on judgment calls like pass interference or, say, simultaneous possession on a catch. They've been worse there than I expected, but that was always going to be the aspect of their performance where their lack of experience would stand out.

"Instead, the officials have shown an incredible propensity for getting simple facts wrong. They mis-spot balls on the wrong side of the field. They forget to keep accurate track of how many timeouts each team has. They call for fumbles on plays in which a guy's entire body was down on the ground and then whistle plays dead on clean strips. They incorrectly award touchdowns and interpret pylon rules on plays that are directly in front of them. It's a miracle that we don't see more accidental '12 men on the field penalties,' because it seems generous to assume they can count all the way up to 12.“


Well, sigh, grumble, grumble, on to the rest of the league.

• Minnesota didn’t look like a disaster! They looked … kind of like San Francisco. How on earth did they dominate the 49ers that way?! Christian Ponder had some nice throws during that game and Notre Dame alums Kyle Rudolph and John Carlson had good games, too. (There are 5 Notre Dame players on the Vikings. How weird is that??)

• Matt Schaub got absolutely destroyed on a helmet-to-helmet hit (that should have gotten Broncos linebacker Joe Mays ejected). He was hit so hard that his helmet came flying off … and he lost a chunk of his ear. It’s good to see that Mays was suspended a game for this.  

Gross.

• How embarrassing is New Orleans’ 0-3 record? They were up 24-6 in the third quarter and lost 27-24!! They gave up 510 yards! This makes me nervous for next Sunday. I hate having to play teams with something to prove.

• Miami might have had the toughest loss. [*I OBVIOUSLY wrote this before Monday*] In overtime, the Jets lined up for a game-winning field goal. But then Miami blocked it! Yay! Way to go, special teams! Oh, wait -- Miami called a timeout to ice the New York kicker just before the block. He made the second try easily.

• The Washington Redskins and Cincinnati Bengals have the ugliest uniform combination imaginable. Whenever those two teams play each other, they should each be required to wear neutral, monochromatic uniforms to spare the eyes of the viewers.   

I used to pick certain Crayolas out of the box and throw them out. This was what the reject pile looked like: orange, black, yellow, and cranberry.

• Jacksonville won a game! Some guy named Cecil Shorts caught a long touchdown for the win. Is there a less NFL-sounding name than Cecil Shorts? He sounds like a bumbling comedic character in a 19th-century play.

"What a coincidence! My name is Cecil, too!"

• The Tennessee-Detroit game was the craziest thing I have ever seen! [*] This was a game that featured 85 points, a kickoff returned for a touchdown and a punt return that had a lateral pass that was run in for a touchdown; then, a back-up quarterback who led his team down the field for a touchdown, a recovered onside kick, and a successful Hail Mary touchdown to force overtime - all in the last 18 seconds of regulation; then there was a bizarre 4th-and-1 attempt instead of going for the easy field goal. And, finally, one of the most incredible catches ever by Tennessee’s Nate Washington. You can watch this over and over and over and still have no idea how he catches this ball.

• What did Larry Fitzgerald do this week? He became the youngest player in history to catch 700 passes, helping the Cardinals to a pretty 3-0 record. And he conducted the Phoenix symphony. 

"If only Kevin had your precision, grace, and talent."

• Cue circus music:

• This year, the NFl has allowed players to include suffixes on their jerseys, so a player like RG3 can have “Griffin III” on his back. I love Detroit’s Titus Young - who had a son last month - making his name “Young Sr.”

Just in case he's still playing in 22 years and his son enters the NFL

• Have you ever wondered what punters, kickers, and long snappers do all week? How many times can you practice the same thing? I wonder if teams make them double up on jobs since they must have so much free time on their hands - like working in the cafeteria, or doing laundry for the team.

• The Jets’ vaunted defense just took a huge hit, losing Darrelle Revis for the year with an ACL tear. I like Revis, but I feel no sympathy for any New York team.

 

• Did you know that, through the first three weeks, the Titans’ QB Jake Locker had more rushing yards than Chris Johnson? If you’re wondering why, Johnson has the answer: it’s his teammates’ fault. Never mind the fact that this offensive line just helped Locker to a 378 yards, no sack, no interception game.

"You can't be saying it's my fault I only have 63 yards this season?!"

• Ryan Grant found a home! He’s reportedly signed with the Washington Redskins. Yay for Grant! Hope he does well.

• It’s hard to even really care about the NFL right now, but I suppose the Packers better start looking forward to playing the Saints/officials next Sunday.

"These are what you're supposed to be using!"

I've totally gotten over it.