And I Was So Close to Acceptance

• The truth is that I was totally ready for acceptance. I accepted that the Green Bay Packers were going to be slaughtered by Pittsburgh Steelers. I had come to terms with it. Because, really, at this point, there is not a single advantage to the Green Bay Packers winning another game this season. Every victory would only lower their draft pick. BUT THEN they had to go and put on the showing they did on Sunday night. To take one of the best teams in the league and go down to the wire! AND THEN LOSE! What are you doing to me?? They’re making me regress in my grieving process!

• There were so many good things happening in the game! Brett Hundley completed 65% of his passes for three touchdowns, no interceptions, and a 134.3 passer rating. The defense forced three turnovers. That gorgeous last touchdown drive, including the ice-cold fourth-down conversion. Oh, the pain!

• Let’s talk about running back Jamaal Williams. With 39 seconds left, tie game, on second down, Williams picked up three yards, and then ran out of bounds, thus stopping the clock so that Pittsburgh didn’t have to take a timeout. When the Packers punted a couple of plays later, the Steelers had 17 seconds and two timeouts to work with, and they made it work. Jamaaaaal!

• But I can’t lay the blame all on Jamaal. First of all, he contributed 135 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns, and he played great (almost) all game long. Plus, it’s not his fault that the Packers went three-and-out on that last drive when a single first down would have taken them to overtime. Hundley didn’t have time to tell Williams not to run out of bounds. On the previous play, the nefarious TJ Watt delivered a helmet-to-helmet hit on Hundley that went uncalled. The Packers should have been given 15 yards and a first down, but whatever. Because of the hit, coach Mike McCarthy was asking Hundley if he was alright and good-to-go. This delayed the communication of the playcall and Green Bay had to hurry to the line, without Hundley being able to tell Williams to stay in bounds. I don’t know if the Packers would have survived overtime, but it would have been nice to have at least had the opportunity.

Maybe one day Brett will get these calls. 

• All of this is moot anyway because of Antonio Frickin’ Brown. Can’t really do much about this nonsense.

• That's just run-of-the-mill stuff for this dude.

• And then the Steelers’ nobody kicker who missed an extra point decides to kick the longest field goal made at the hardest stadium for field goals. 

• The Packers certainly looked improved, and I’m very happy for Brett. Buuut, do we want the Packers to improve at this point?? I hate to say it, but isn’t the answer …. no?

• Heartbreaking end to the Lions-Vikings game. Minnesota was up 30-23 when Detroit threw an interception on their own 16-yard line, effectively ending the game. Minnesota ran out the clock with a few run plays before attempting a 17-yard field goal …. which was BLOCKED and returned for a TOUCHDOWN!! OMG tie game, going to overtime!!!!!!!!!! Except … there was a penalty on the Lions on the return. Vikings keep the ball and kneel it out. 

• Latavius Murray is the tallest running back I’ve ever seen! He’s 6’3”!

• The Cleveland Browns, at 0-11, are the first team to be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. So much for a run-the-table comeback.

• Atlanta’s Mohamed Sanu is a very good receiver (as the Packers secondary can attest), but he’s also a very good quarterback, too. His career passer rating is perfect: 158.3.

• I was planning to sit down and watch the Eagles this week to see what all the hype is about. Philly looked amazing, but the problem is that it's hard to tell anything against the hapless Chicago Bears. They lost to the Packers, after all. At halftime, the Eagles were up 24-0 and Chicago had ZERO first downs!  

• The Carolina Panthers running back (#28) is very dedicated selling the fake on Cam Newton’s keeper. 

• Stupid #98 cost the New York Jets a chance at a comeback. (It’s a former Packer!!) New York cut the lead to five with five minutes left. Carolina was trying to running the ball to play out the clock, forcing the Jets to use all their timeouts. New York’s defense did its job, stopping the Panthers on first and second downs, leading to 3rd-and-11, which resulted in an incompletion … but #98 couldn't help himself and hit Cam Newton late. Instead of punting, Carolina got a fresh set of downs and were able to kick a field goal with 21 seconds left to seal the game. SHAME!

• I don’t even know who Mr. Jones on the Buffalo Bills is, but he’s got some serious anti-gravity moves! 

• Great game between Jacksonville and Arizona! Who would have thought that Blake Bortles vs. Blaine Gabbert would be so much fun?? It was boring 10-16 game in the second half with a stretch of six straight punts when things got exciting. Jacksonville returned a fumble for a touchdown to go up 17-16. Arizona responded on the next drive, and completed a two-point conversion. A 68-yard punt return set up Jacksonville’s touchdown on the next drive to tie everything up at 24 halfway through the fourth quarter. The teams traded interceptions on successive drives. Arizona went three-and-out, and then Jacksonville did the same. BUT, as so often happens, Jacksonville’s coach, with less than a minute left, foolishly decided to throw the ball on that drive. (Why do coaches always do this??) The incompletion stopped the clock, and when the Jaguars failed to convert on third down the next play, the Cardinals got the ball back with just 16 seconds left. It was enough time for a couple surprisingly impressive throws to put the Cardinals in field goal range, including the gorgeous catch from DJ Foster (see below). Then the ancient Phil Dawson pulled his creaky bones onto the field to kick a career-long, game-winning field goal. 

Patriot legend, DJ Foster helped put the Cardinals in FG range for the game winner! 😤😤 pic.twitter.com/qug1CV2yjA

— '03 Kliff Kingsbury (@fearthe_beard11) November 27, 2017

• Invite the Philadelphia Eagles to your wedding. 

• As I’ve mentioned, I like the team celebrations that have been happening this year with the relaxed celebration rules. You get more a lot more fun/silly/creative stuff than you do the stupid taunting and crotch-grabbing of individual celebrations that make old codgers like me grumble about the kids these days. 

• Julio Jones has had three 250-yard receiving games in his career!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No other receiver has every had more than one 250-yard game. 

• It's been a tough season, but watching the Dallas Cowboys implode has been a huge comfort in this trying time.

• Surely, the Cowboys defense was a comfort to Philip Rivers, as well. Rivers completed 82% of his passes for 434 yards, three touchdowns, no interceptions, no sacks, and a 149.1 passer rating against Dallas. 

• Goodness gracious, there was yet another brawl this week, featuring old friends Aqib Talib and Michael Crabtree. Both are loudmouth idiots, but Talib is a frequent offender as a dirty player so I’m going to blame mostly him. He couldn’t help himself from snatching Crabtree’s chain -- again. Both were rightly ejected, and then suspended for two games. Two games seems harsh, but considering the history between these two, it’s probably best to encourage them to use restraint in future meetings.  

• Next week, the Packers face the 4-7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and I'm so torn over whether I want them to win or not! I hate having to cheer for losses! I feel like a traitor. Maybe I can cheer for Jordy and Brett and all my faves to have good games, but for them to lose on a bad call or fluke play or something. An unhappy compromise, but it's the best I can do. 

Here's a picture of Jordy so we can all end on a happier note.

Depression

• Last week's win delayed the process a bit, but Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens was a pretty perfect representation of depression. The feeling of hopelessness. The sluggishness. The knowing that, even if the Green Bay Packers did manage to score or get a turnover or something, it wouldn’t really matter. 

I couldn't find a Packers gif to adequately represent the situation, but there
were plenty of Jay Cutler gifs, and I couldn't resist.

• It is only by the grace of Joe Flacco that the Green Bay Packers weren’t defeated 40-0. The Packers defense only gave up 219 yards and still got killed! The offense, um, let’s charitably say struggled. Five turnovers (and should have been more). Six sacks. Zero points. Oof.

• Okay, so I’ll be honest: not Brett Hundley’s best game. There were a lot of bad decisions and very ugly throws. There were the three interceptions. And the fumble. There was the 13.6 QBR. 

• The lurking depression really set in early on, then increased when Clay Matthews left with an injury. Then Kenny Clark left with an injury. Then backup right tackle Justin McCray left with an injury.

• I literally don’t have anything else to say about the game. There aren’t any offensive highlights because Green Bay DIDN’T SCORE ANY POINTS. 

• Here’s Richard Rodgers smiling his aggravating smile that literally never leaves his face ever.

• I’m sad about the Packers losing, but I’m irked by the announcers talking about the Ravens and Joe Flacco as if they played well. They gained fewer yards than the team with zero points! They would have been humiliated by any other team that didn’t turn the ball over five times! 

• Poor Devante Mays. The Green Bay rookie running back got his first three NFL carries today … and fumbled two of them. 

• Packers fans, don’t say careless things like, “It can’t be any worse,” because I saw this picture and thought our third-string quarterback was a ball boy.

• Hold up -- they put the jerseys on the pads before the players put the pads on?? I’m not sure how I feel about that. I feel deceived somehow.

• Antonio Brown helmet catch. Difficult and cool on its own, but to move the ball, one-handed, from your helmet to your body without losing control of it and protecting it in time before you hit the ground so you don’t lose it in “the process of the catch” must take a crazy amount of skill and body control. Utter madness!

• NFL wide receivers are getting too good! What used to be circus catches are now run-of-the-mill receptions. There were so many crazy catches in the Monday Night game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Seattle Seahawks, I couldn't even choose one to highlight. 

• Jay Cutler had three interceptions in the first half before leaving the game with a concussion in the second half. Man, I wish he were still in the NFC North. 

• It was an awkward week for the Buffalo Bills. The team benched starting quarterback Tyrod Taylor after two consecutive losses, which was a head-scratcher because he hasn’t been terrible, the team was 5-4, and the playoffs were still in reach. (That last part might have been the problem.) Rookie Nate Peterman took over on Sunday and … threw three interceptions in the first quarter, which is the same number of interceptions Taylor has had all season. He added two more in the second quarter and was finally pulled for Taylor at halftime. I don’t want to pile on the poor rookie who was put in a bad and unfair position, but he had six completions and five interceptions!! 45% of his completions were to the California Chargers defense! The good news is that the Bills seem to be under leadership: coach Sean McDermott stated that he didn’t regret playing Peterman and that he would “evaluate” before naming a starter for next week.

Decisions like this might have something to do with Sunday's stat line.

• I just said that I didn’t want to kick Peterman while he was down, but some of his numbers are truly incredible, such as the fact that on his dropbacks, he averaged -8.79 yards. He averaged almost negative 10 yards when he dropped back!!

Peterman’s negative 8.79 yards per dropback is an insane figure https://t.co/GJZ3udHBBo

— Chris B. Brown (@smartfootball) November 20, 2017

• I’ll never cheer outright for a team quarterbacked by Eli Manning, but it was fun to see the 1-8 Giants knock off the (yawn) 6-4 Kansas City Chiefs in overtime.

• Now that the Chiefs have dropped four of their last five games, can we all stop pretending that they’re a threat? It’s not that I don’t love Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill, but Alex Smith is still Alex Smith and let’s not forget it.

• Oh, man, Chicago Bears kicker Connor Barth really choked on Sunday. It’s a lot of pressure to line up for a 46-yard, potentially game-tying field goal with only three seconds left on the clock. There’s probably even more pressure when your counterpart on the other team has just kicked a 52-yarder, against the wind, to take the lead, as the Detroit Lions’ Matt Prater did. Not only did Barth lose the game by missing the kick, it wasn’t even close. (And yes, he was cut the next day.) Normally this sort of heartbreak would bring me joy, but as the Bears have no chance to win the division (but probably still a better chance than Green Bay), I am forced to cheer not-against them in division games.

• The LA Rams scored on their opening drive … and then never again. The score was actually 7-7 going into the fourth, but the Minnesota Vikings turned up the heat and ended up winning 24-7. Minnesota receiver Adam Thielen trails only Antonio Brown in receiving yards this season, and racked up another 123 on Sunday.

• Wait, when did New Orleans become good again? After three straight seasons going 7-9 and missing the playoffs, the Saints are now 8-2 and atop the NFC South. They’ve got a tough schedule coming up, so we’ll see if they’re for real. 

• New Orleans scored 18 points in the fourth quarter to tie the game on the way to an overtime win against the Washington Redskins. Voodoo magic like this helped:

• New Orleans running back Mark Ingram has eight touchdowns in his last five games. 

• Whew, Bengals corner Dre Kirkpatrick is very, very, very lucky that the Denver Broncos did not recover his fumble. Kirkpatrick intercepted the ball in the endzone, ran 100 yards, and then inexplicably fumbled the ball just outside the goal line. No one touched him or anything! Unfortunate that he ran 100 yards and somehow did not score a touchdown, but fortunately he recovered his own fumble and Cincinnati scored a few plays later.

• Tom Brady had fun in Mexico. It helped that the Oakland Raiders didn’t really bother to show up in the 33-8 Patriots victory.

• There’s a wide receiver named Jeremy Sprinkle, and I’m jealous that he doesn’t play for Green Bay. 

I'm jealous because of his name, not because he's
good. I have no idea if he's any good.

• Is fear the next step in grieving? Because I’m very scared of the 8-2 Steelers next week. They’re going to humiliate us in prime time and then do fun and creative celebrations. They are going to have a field day with our defense. And our offense. Our special teams, too. 

Finally, a Victory!

• Whew! A win! Congratulations to Brett Hundley on his first NFL victory as a starter!! It was especially nice coming against the Chicago Bears. Hundley started slow, but by the fourth quarter, he was making quick, decisive throws, including this beauty to Davante Adams for the touchdown. Gorgeous. 

• More bad news on the injury front. Starting rookie running back Aaron Jones sprained his MCL on the first drive and will be out 3-6 weeks. Before halftime, running back Ty Montgomery suffered a rib injury (what? A running back playing with multiple broken ribs is a bad idea??), leaving rookie Jamaal Williams as the only available running back. Williams looked good, but we’re going to need some help in the backfield. Hundley also tweaked his hamstring, so that could limit the running game even further. 

• How cute is Brett??

What a time to be Alive 🤙🏾
Great team win today! pic.twitter.com/RAofKZzFjx

— Brett A. Hundley Jr (@bretthundley7) November 12, 2017

• The Packers definitely had some help from the Bears. Chicago committed eight turnovers (not including the ones that were declined) that cost them 78 yards. Thank you. Also, thank you to Bears coach John Fox for challenging that Bears runner Benny Cunningham had stepped out of bounds just short of the goal line. He actually won the challenge -- Cunningham did not step out of bounds -- but the replay showed that Cunningham had lost control of the ball before it hit the pylon, and a fumble in the endzone is a touchback, so instead of the Bears being 1st-and-goal on the one-yard line, the Packers got the ball at the 20. Hugely important play that helped shaped the game.

• The defense stepped up big. They held Chicago to 4-of-14 on third downs and sacked Mitchell Trubisky five times, with Nick Perry accounting for three of them!

Not quite sure who was responsible for this one...

• Jordy’s such a great blocker. Look at him freeing up Ty Montgomery on his first-quarter touchdown run.

• Davante Adams has been big this year and deserves his props, which I haven’t always given him.

• Field goal unit needs to get its act together. They missed another kick this week when the holder dropped the snap -- or maybe it was a bad snap, I'm not sure. I’m less inclined to pin the blame on Mason Crosby than I am the long snapper and/or punter/holder.

Yeah, the punter just looks guilty.

• Hey, thanks for your contribution to the team, Martellus Bennett! Glad we signed you instead of another tight end who knew how to catch passes. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Let’s recap: after Aaron Rodgers went down and the chances of the Packers winning the Super Bowl shrank rapidly, Bennett announced on Instagram that he would be retiring at the end of the season, no explanation. Then, for the first time in the season, he showed up with on the injury report with a shoulder injury and missed last week’s game against the Detroit Lions. The Packers cut him this week with a “failure to disclose physical condition” designation, which is an indication that they want their money back from this charlatan. Bennett then took to Instagram again and wrote a long screed calling out the Packers’ medical staff and Dr. Pat McKenzie for knowing that he had a serious shoulder injury and pressuring him to play when he needed shoulder surgery.

• It took about five minutes for current and former Green Bay players -- from Aaron Rodgers to Jordy Nelson to Jermichael Finley and many others -- to come to Dr. McKenzie’s defense on social media. McKenzie and the Packers staff are known in the league for being extremely conservative with player injuries. What kind of jackass impugns a man’s professional reputation to the media when he knows that man can’t defend himself? Presumably, McKenzie isn’t allowed to discuss the details of Bennett’s injury situation, so he couldn’t dispute Bennett’s account, which is why it was nice that so many players defended the Pack’s medical staff.

• But Bennett wasn’t done being a @$$h*!e. When Bennett was cut, because he’s a veteran, teams have an opportunity to claim him on waivers. Bennett and his agent told teams not to claim him because he was going to have surgery and retire. That is, until his former team, the New England Patriots, came calling. Suddenly, Marty’s shoulder was feeling a lot better -- so much so that he played for the Patriots on Sunday night! What a miraculous recovery. I hope the league will seriously investigate Bennett telling teams he was getting surgery in order to avoid being claimed by a bad team. (When veterans are released, teams have the opportunity to claim them based on the team’s record, with the worst teams getting the first opportunity and the better teams at the end of the line.) That seems seriously shady to lie like that. Here’s what Mr. Rogers thinks of Martellus Bennett:

• On Friday, wide receiver Maurice Harris was on the Washington Redskins’ practice squad. On Sunday he made this catch for his first career touchdown. Wowza.

• Here’s our weekly video of Vontaze Burfict doing something dirty. He was ejected from Sunday’s game against Tennessee (somehow the first ejection of his career!) for making contact with an official when he swiped away the ref’s arm. The cause for the ejection seemed rather minor, but I don’t really care because here he is stepping on a Titans’ player’s arm right before the ejection. Jerk.

Here's a great angle of the @King55Tez ejection. You make the call. @Local12 pic.twitter.com/jHnvhWEKp6

— Jed DeMuesy (@Local12Jed) November 12, 2017

• The team celebrations have been a lot of fun this year, and some of the best have come from the Pittsburgh Steelers’ receiving corps. On Sunday, they re-enacted last week’s WWE-style fight between Cincinnati’s AJ Green and Jacksonville’s Jalen Ramsey.

• The CFL is getting in on the fun, too.

I'm telling you people, turn the CFL game on ASAP. pic.twitter.com/GjQeg1a5Sf

— Josh S. (@joshellman) November 12, 2017

• Minnesota quarterback Teddy Bridgewater did not play, but was active for the first game since January 2016 after suffering a devastating knee injury in training camp last year. Very happy for him, even if he is a Viking!

• 49ers wide receiver Marquise Godwin had an absolutely devastating Sunday. He wife went into premature labor and their little baby boy died. Just a few hours later, Godwin scored a touchdown against the New York Giants in his team’s first win of the season and was obviously very emotional.

• The New Orleans Saints put a beating on the formerly trendy Buffalo Bills, thanks in large part to running back Mark Ingram who had 131 yards and three touchdowns! 

• So, I just became a huge Adrian Clayborn fan. The Atlanta Falcons defensive end recorded SIX sacks against the Dallas Cowboys in a 27-7 win! Hah! As much as the Cowboys missed finally-suspended running back Ezekiel Elliott, they missed left tackle Tyron Smith much more. His poor, poor backup was steamrolled by Clayborn the entire game. 

• The Seattle Seahawks beat the Arizona Cardinals on Thursday night, but it was a costly win, as Richard Sherman ruptured his Achilles’ and is out for the season. I’m never happy to see anyone injured, so I’ll just stop there. 

• The Cleveland Browns actually almost won a game against a good team! Alas, they still fell to the Detroit Lions 38-24. Kinda humiliating that the Browns scored more points against them then the Packers did. 

• I love Luke Kuechly. I love Jay Cutler interceptions. Luke Kuechly intercepting Jay Cutler pretty much turns me into the heart eyes emoji. I still want Kuechly to retire, but he is so good. He was giving Miami fits all Monday night.

• It’s not just me -- the Packers’ photographer is obviously obsessed with Randall Cobb. Every week, there are soooo many Green Eyes photos. And I can’t say I blame him. 

I ain't complaining.

What Are You Doing, McCarthy??

• Look, the Green Bay Packers are probably not going to make the playoffs. At this point, why NOT just let Hundley chuck the ball downfield? Why play conservative? We're not going to win that way, so let's see what Hundley’s got. I'd rather drives end with an interception than with a punt. Come on!

• Hundley, for his part, can't miss wide open Jordy Nelsons like this.

• I might still be stuck on bargaining. What do I have to sacrifice for a pass rusher? Just name it. Maybe this whole season is what we have to sacrifice to get a decent pass rusher in the draft. 

• That was the most impressive field goal I have ever seen. No timeouts with 12 seconds left, they got the field goal unit on, lined up, and snapped the ball with one second left. Highlight of the game. Only highlight of the game. 

• Ben McAdoo, you need to get control of your team, yo. A few weeks after the New York Giants coach suspended cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie for walking out of meeting, the Giants suspended cornerback Janoris Jenkins, who failed to show up to practice the day after the team’s bye.

Though perhaps this man losing a locker room is not too surprising. 

• Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Eli Manning was benched when he was one game away from tying Peyton’s consecutive starts streak?? That’s a possibility after New York’s dreadful 1-7 start.

• The confusion of the Manning Face is catching. Check out #88’s face as he tries to decipher whatever it is that Eli is trying to call.  

• Oh no! Andrew Luck has been placed on IR for the remainder of the season. Luck has not played since having shoulder surgery in January, and I’m seriously worried for him. If he has to retire, maybe he can devote himself to his book club full time. 

• Amazing shirt, Jay. 

Not even being sarcastic.

• There are few things more unreasonably enjoyable than a perfectly downed punt, which the Kansas City Chiefs punter executed perfectly and which #80 was about to down on the one-inch line … until his idiot teammate ran right into him and knocked the ball into the endzone! C’mon!

• So the Philadelphia Eagles are pretty good. Coming off a 7-9 season, they’re off to an impressive 8-1 start behind quarterback Carson Wentz. On Sunday, they hung up 51 points against the vaunted Denver Broncos defense.

• Also scoring 51 points was the Los Angeles Rams! Their turnaround has been even more surprising than the Eagles. At 6-2, they’ve already surpassed their win total from last year (four). 

• It felt like there were a lot of lopsided victories this week. Let’s hope this isn’t an emerging pattern for the league. Perhaps it’s because the league has become so quarterback-driven? Teams either have a QB or don't? Or is it because there's been so many big-name injuries this season?

• I hope the Cowboys’ stupid stadium with its stupid window designs costs them a game one day. 

• Everyone’s immediate reaction to the news of Houston Texans rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson tearing his ACL in practice this week was “noooooooooooooooooooo!” Tough break for such a rising star and likable guy. The Texans sure missed him on Sunday. Here’s their current quarterback Tom Savage on the last play of the game, down six with 0:02 left:

• Hey, but at least the Colts won! Yay!

• Unfortunately the Cowboys defeated the Kansas City Chiefs, but there was this awesome first-half-ending Alex Smith checkdown-sorta-Hail-Mary that was all Tyreek Hill.

TYREEK HILL SCORES TO END THE HALF HAHAHA COWBOYS pic.twitter.com/JVPDb0DRg6

— Marina Molnar (@mkmolnar) November 5, 2017

• The Los Angeles Rams faced an improbable 3rd-and-33. They went for 52 yards and a score.

• Adrian Peterson, who was traded from New Orleans after a disappointing stint that saw little playing time, can’t complain about touches in Arizona -- he had 37 carries! That’s 20 more than the entire San Francisco team, whom the Cardinals defeated 20-10. I guess there’s a reason they call him All Day.

• Goodness gracious, there were a lot of bad tempers out there this Sunday. Cincinnati Bengals receiver AJ Green -- who’s known as a quiet and level-headed guy -- went berserk and put Jacksonville Jaguars corner Jalen Ramsey in a chokehold. Ramsey is known for being a big ol’ loudmouth trash-talker, and he’s as obnoxious as he is good, but I gotta say, he shouldn’t have been ejected along with Green. And Green wasn't suspended!! I love Green, but the league should have suspended him. You can’t have that going on in the middle of a game.

• Even worse was Mike Evans in Tampa Bay. Stupid Jameis Winston started it by poking a New Orleans Saints player, Marshon Lattimore. Lattimore shoved Winston and that should have been the end of it, but then Evans came flying in and tackled Lattimore, which was idiotic and dangerous. Somehow Evans wasn’t ejected!!! He was suspended, though. 

• A fight also broke out in the Arizona Cardinals-San Francisco 49ers game, too, after the Niners took exception to a late hit on whoever the 49ers quarterback is. I don’t even think it was a late hit, but two Cardinals and a 49er were ejected by the end of the kerfuffle. 

• How would you feel if you were a quarterback and you were missing four of your offensive lineman? Probably about as brave as Kirk Cousins here.

Kirk sacrificed Rob Kelley to the football gods pic.twitter.com/It59NVW1eW

— Danny (@recordsANDradio) November 5, 2017

• But Kirk had some pretty amazing moments, too. The Redskins weren’t just missing their offensive lineman. They were also missing two tight ends (and lost another during the game) and a wide receiver, among others -- on the road, against the Seattle Seahawks. The Redskins held a tenuous 10-8 lead late in the fourth, but Seattle got the ball back with two-and-a-half minutes left in the game,drove 71 yards downfield in 48 seconds, and scored a touchdown to take the lead. Not to be outdone, the Redskins immediately responded with a four-play, 35 second, game-winning drive. Hah! Great game, eh, Pete? (There wasn't an interception on the play. This is just an old gif that I relish and use as often as I can.)

Seattle's Heart Breaking

• The Seahawks went for two because their kicker missed not one, not two, but THREE kicks in the first half. The Washington Redskins picked off the attempt and came surprisingly close to returning it for two points. Man, it would have been so cool if they had actually scored on this. 

• There were a bunch of trades this week, just before the trade deadline that seemed really exciting, but now I’ve forgotten most of them. There are a few big and/or surprising ones that I do remember:

• The 49ers traded for Patriots’ backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, which is good because I don’t even know the first name of San Fran’s current quarterback. I’m not going to look it up, either, because I doubt he’ll be in the league long enough to warrant space in my brain.
• The Miami Dolphins got rid of running back Jay Ajayi, trading him to the already smoking hot Philadelphia Eagles for a draft pick.
• Important sidenote: Ajayi’s real name is Oluwadamilola.
• Carolina Panthers sent top receiver Kelvin Benjamin to Buffalo, presumably over concerns over his health?

• This headline isn’t clever or even a pun. (Granted, it’s Reddit.) It’s like when advertisers ad “-tastic” or “-azing” to words that make no sense. “It’s grape-licious!” Also, you didn’t even spell the first half of Garoppolo’s name correctly.

How is this any better than saying, "Jimmy Garoppolo Goes West"?

• There was also a very notable almost-trade. The Cleveland Browns were going back and forth with the Cincinnati Bengals over Cincinnati’s backup quarterback AJ McCarron. They didn’t come to an agreement until 3:55 pm EST, which is just five minutes before the trade deadline. The teams scrambled to sign and send their paperwork, which the Bengals did. The Browns did, too, only, they didn’t CC the NFL on the email, so the NFL did not receive all the paperwork by the deadline, so the trade didn’t happen. Man, the Browns are going to be the Browns forever. I feel like we, as a nation, should petition the league to allow the trade, just out of pity.

• Back to Garoppolo. Everyone seems eager to start penciling in victories for the 49ers for next year, but why don’t we wait to see how Jimmy does before we crown him the team’s savior? First of all, San Fran will have to sign him, as his contract expires at the end of this season. Second, do the names Ryan Mallett, Brian Hoyer, Matt Cassel mean anything to anyone??

• Whoa! Miami’s kicker not only kicked a perfect onside kick, but he recovered it too! I’m in awe. 

Kicker @CParkey36 recovers his own surprise onside kick in the 1st half! #OAKvsMIA

Watch #SNF on NBCpic.twitter.com/nAdfPkUgtI

— TNF on NBC (@SNFonNBC) November 6, 2017

• Awww! Lots of NFLers’ cute kids in Halloween costume!!

Drew Brees' son wanted to go as his dad's teammate, Ted Ginn Jr.,
so he got his hair braided to match Ginn.

• And some cute NFLers in costumes. 

Happy Halloween from ya favorite wideouts!! #187 #ninjaturtles #bigbadwolf #doc

A post shared by Davante Adams (@taeadams) on Oct 31, 2017 at 8:20pm PDT

• Allow me a quick exegesis on the hashtag #187. It’s not only a combination of their jersey numbers -- 17, 18, and 87 -- but it’s also slang for murder (a reference to California police codes) because they kill defenses. So it’s sweet -- aww they’ve combined their numbers like how high school girls come up with a mismash nickname for their clique -- but it’s also gangsta, because they’re so badass.

• Jordy’s super lazy “doctor” costume just proves, yet again, that he is a man after my own heart.