Monday, December 4, 2017

I Wish Green Bay Had Lost




  • Look, I don't approve of tanking, and I really don't like cheering for tanking, but sometimes it must be done. The Green Bay Packers are not making the playoffs. That’s hard for me to write, but it’s the truth. The Carolina Panthers, Seattle Seahawks, and the Atlanta Falcons are currently jockeying for two Wild Card spots. The Packers are not better than two of those teams.
  • And even if the other teams all choked and Green Bay somehow managed to make the playoffs, so what? Do you think we’re going anywhere with our defense? There’s no saying that Aaron Rodgers will be able to come back this season -- he won’t get x-rays for at least another week. But even if he did, is it worth risking his health for this team?? No.

  • What makes it worse is that we play the Cleveland Browns next week. I don’t know if we could lose to them if we tried. (Though it’d be a nice early Christmas present to Cleveland to save them from a winless season.) Facing Tampa and Cleveland in back-to-back weeks as Aaron Rodgers is coming back to practice has been poor timing, as it’s whipped Green Bay fans into a frenzy of unrealistic fantasies. Really, all it is doing is costing us a better draft pick. We need that draft pick!!
  • Another reason I wish the Packers had lost Sunday’s game is that we super did not deserve to win that game. We were terrible. Green Bay had four three-and-outs on offense -- against a team that is 32nd in the league in third-down defense. Tampa Bay had 25 (!) first downs to Green Bay’s 16. Tampa Bay converted nine third downs to Green Bay’s five. Tampa Bay had 230 passing yards to Green Bay’s 77. Seventy-seven yards passing in an NFL game!

Image result for brett hundley
I say this as someone who loves Brett!
  • Okay, now that I’ve said my piece, we can focus on the more fun aspects of the game, like Dean Lowry’s fumble recovery and touchdown! Defensive lineman scoring is always fun! It’s adorable to see how excited their teammates are for them, too.

  • Kyle Fackrell had a non-blocked punt blocked punt. He got a piece of the punt, but the ball still made it to the line of scrimmage, which means it does not go into the box score as a block. Even without the stat, it was awesome!


  • The defense played well (sorta), and were able to get some pressure on Jameis Winston in a season where the Packers have struggled to generate any pass rush. Green Bay hit home on seven sacks, including 2.5 from Clay Matthews! They also recorded 13 QB hits, six tackles for loss, and a turnover. 
  • Jamaal Williams had another great game. While I worry about his long-term durability, it’s nice to have a running back who can contribute 113 yards a game. He’s been great to have, especially to support Brett Hundley.
  • The best part of the game was Aaron Jones. Jones missed the previous two games with a sprained MCL. He was active for the game, but wasn’t expected to play much and, in fact, didn’t play for all of regulation. He had precisely one carry, and it was a 20-yard run for the game-winning, walk-off touchdown. (Note the beautiful block by Jordy.)




  • So former Packers wide receiver Greg Jennings announced our game. Huh. Interesting. Okay. Jennings had this to say about Jordy Nelson early in the game: “He never got the adjustment, the play call, so he didn’t really know what to do there.” DON’T YOU DARE CALL OUT JORDY, YOU HAS-BEEN TRAITOR!!!
  • Ugh. My own personal animosity toward that nobody announcer aside, he and his announcing partner were not good. They made a number of mistakes, including saying Aaron Jones was inactive and that Ty Montgomery was “out for the game,” when Montgomery’s on IR. I also liked it when Jennings talked about how Davante Adams is so good that he reminds him of himself. 
  • I liked it when his partner talked about how Adams had said that there were no “divas” in the receiver room in Green Bay. Hmm, maybe Adams isn’t so much like Jennings as Jennings thinks!


  • Um, the Oakland Raiders might want to take their running back Jalen Richard off of returns. He fumbled THREE returns on Sunday, but fortunately for his job security, his team recovered each. 
  • Rob “Yo Soy Fiesta” Gronkowski was in less than a party mood when he intentionally tried to hurt an opposing player. Buffalo Bills corner Tre’Davius White had been guarding Gronkowski, uh, quite closely, but no flag was thrown. When White, pulling and pushing, intercepted a pass intended for Gronk, Gronk responded by diving on White, who was faced down and out of bounds, well after the play. (White was evaluated for a concussion after the hit.) Gronk apologized after the game, but it was a day late and a dollar short, and the league suspended him anyway. La fiesta ha terminado.
  • So is Case Keenum … really, really good? Against the Atlanta Falcons, the Minnesota quarterback went 25-for-30, including 18-for-18 in second half!! It was the 10th victory for the stupid Vikings. 
  • Tarik Cohen’s return was really bad, then worse, then better, then OMG!!! That’s a 127-yard punt return for 61 yards.

  • New Orleans running back Alvin Kamara has more games averaging more than five yards rushing per carry than Baltimore quarterback Joe Flacco has games averaging more than five yards per pass! Pee-yew!
On the season, Kamara is averaging 7 yards/carry, while Joe is
averaging 5.5 yards/pass.

  • Gosh, Denver is so bad. What happened? Not having a quarterback will hurt your chances, sure, but what happened to their once-dominant defense? You can’t allow a Jay Cutler-led team to put up 35 points on you! After losing the the Miami Dolphins, the Broncos are now 3-9 and have lost eight straight. Ick. 

  • So Eli Manning got benched prior to Sunday’s game, and -- could it be?? -- I actually felt a little bad for him. It’s not as bad as it sounds. The Giants’ season is long gone, so it makes sense to shut down your starting quarterback. But many thought the move might signal that Manning has played his last game for New York. The salt in the wound is that the Giants are not playing their rookie quarterback -- which would be an understandable move to see what they have in him -- but are starting backup Geno Smith. If the rookie isn’t ready to start, why not keep playing Eli? What’s the point of moving to your second-string quarterback right now? 
Eli Manning GIF

  • Eli’s benching did not go over well in the sports world. Nor did it stop the Giants’ free fall; they lost the Raiders. If it makes Manning feel better, his coach and GM are now out of jobs, as both were fired Monday.
Eli Manning GIF



  • Oh, and now it’s reported that Eli will start next week. So the whole purpose of the last week appears to have been ruining Eli’s 210-consecutive-game starting streak. 
Eli Manning GIF

  • Wait -- that Giants’ rookie quarterback is named David Webb … isn’t that Jason Bourne’s real name?!? (Ohh it’s Davis Webb. That’s okay, I’m still going to refer to him as Jason Bourne from now on.)


  • The NFL’s “My Cause, My Cleats” campaign is just another PR attempt to make us forget all the horrible things they do and represent … but I gotta say it’s working. I’ve really enjoyed reading about all the athletes’ different charitable work. So many of them have very moving personal connections to their causes. 
Packers' corner Damarious Randall, who has dealt with a stutter for
most of his life, was supporting an organization that support kids
who stutter and helps them build confidence. 

  • Baltimore Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith tore his Achilles and is out for the season, which is sad. Coincidentally, his injury came the same week that the league announced a four-game suspension for him for using PEDs. Am I the only one who thinks it’s unfair that he gets to serve his suspension while injured, when he couldn’t be playing anyway? This isn’t a big deal, but I’m just super vindictive and into punishment, so it bothers me!
  • I’ve watched this clip many, many times and still have no idea of what is happening or why.


  • Kickers don’t really get a lot of love in the league. They’re sorta tangential to their teams; no one really considers them athletes; when they make their kicks, people say they were just doing their jobs; when they miss kicks, everyone hates them; and if they struggle, teams don’t hesitate to bring in free agents. So it must feel really, really good to be in the limelight (the good kind) while single-footedly defeating your old team, as Robbie Gould did on Sunday. After playing for the Chicago Bears for 11 years, Gould, now with the San Francisco 49ers, went 5-for-5 on field goals, including the game-winner, to defeat the Bears 15-14. 
Revenge of the nerd.


  • I want so much for Josh Gordon to do well. After something like five league suspensions (almost all for substance abuse), the electric receiver is back. He estimates that he drank or used drugs before every professional game he played, but is hopefully getting his life back together. Everyone's rooting for him, not just as a player but as a person.


  • Marcus Peters was displeased with the referees’ call on a play and decided to express his feelings by throwing the penalty flag into the stands. I love how the ref stares him down and slowly tosses his hat to penalize Peters for unsportsmanlike conduct.

  • This one wasn't chucked by Marcus Peters, but watch out for flying flags!
  • If the Cincinnati Bengals and Pittsburgh Steelers can't play like grown-ups and keep trying to kill each other, maybe we need to put them in timeout and cancel their games for a year or two.
  • Tiptoe catches are always cool, but this one is particularly impressive.

  • Alvin Kamara is too much fun. Also, he’s super athletic and can pretty much fly. Look how little effort it takes for him to get into the stands! Gotta admit, that's higher than the endzone wall at Lambeau.

  • While I will personally be (gulp) cheering for the Packers to lose every single one of their remaining games, here is a cheat sheet for if you’re still holding out hope that they make the playoffs.


I want so badly for you guys to be reunited ... but I don't.





Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)