Two More to Go

• Aaaaaahhhhhhhh! Oh my gosh! That was way too close! The last-minute heroics of Jordy Nelson and Aaron Rodgers in the Packers' 30-27 victory over the Chicago Bears are certainly a cause for celebration around the globe, but they also have the effect of covering how bad the Green Bay defense -- and offense, at times --- was on Sunday.

• The defense played pretty well for three quarters, forcing four turnovers (yay! Great job!), but then allowed Chicago to score 17 straight points in the fourth quarter!!! (Booo! Not a great job!) Green Bay allowed the Bears to gain nearly as many yards in the fourth quarter (216) as in the other three quarters combined (233). It wasn’t a pretty second half, in general. Just when things were looking pretty bleak, and I was starting to advocate letting Chicago score, the defense stood the Bears up on the 4-yard line (featuring a beautiful pass breakup by Micah Hyde on third down) to force the Bears to kick the tying field goal instead of the possibly go-ahead touchdown. 

• Ha-Ha Clinton Dix grabbed two of the interceptions on Sunday, bringing his season total to five.

(Yes! Two Simpsons gifs in a row!)

• The offense also struggled. They scored a touchdown on the opening drive and managed a field goal on their last drive of the first half, but in between that, their possessions were punt, punt, downs, punt. And while Chicago was scoring touchdowns in the fourth, Green Bay went three-and-out on consecutive drives that allowed the Bears that opportunity to score. They had -3 yards in the third quarter! And they struggled again on third downs, converting a measly 3-of-10.

• Now that I’ve gotten my scolding out of the way, I can go back to being ecstatic about the win and glossing over all the flaws. Woo hoo! How ‘bout that Jordy Nelson, right? After the first two plays of the drive resulted in -1 yards, with the clock ticking and no timeouts, I wasn’t feeling too good about the Packers’ 3rd-and-11 with 31 seconds left. After all, the Packers hadn’t scored in a quarter and a half. But then -- who else but Jordy? -- Rodgers threw an absolute bomb to Nelson for a 60-yard gain, putting the Pack in comfortable field goal range. 

• (Remember when the big knock on Rodgers was that he wasn’t clutch in late-game situations?)

• Green Bay ran the clock down to :04 before clocking the ball. Mason Crosby lined up for the 32-yard field goal and made it -- but Chicago called a timeout first. Lolz, you don’t ice Mason Crosby. He came right back out and drilled the same kick for the win. I love it when kickers get some love.

VICTORY! #GoPackGo pic.twitter.com/Fn85OL0Wun

— Green Bay Packers (@packers) December 18, 2016

• Let’s talk about Ty Montgomery. The wide-receiver-turned-running-back rushed for 162 yards and looked good doing it. It’s very, very exciting for Green Bay fans to have something to be happy about in the running game! Lil Wayne -- a huge Packers fan -- also approved of Ty Montgomery’s game.

• With the victory, Green Bay tied the all-time series at 93-93-6, thus destroying the last, puny shred of pride Chicago Bears fans could clutch at when encountering Green Bay fans. They even suck at trash talking:

When you're talking about how you're more evolved than others,
try to keep your spelling mistakes to under three.

• Christine (still pronounced “Kristen”) Michael got his first touchdown as a Packer on a purty 42-yard run! Yay, Christine! Now you're really part of the team!

• Chicago backup quarterback Matt Barkley has played pretty well in Jay Cutler’s stead. Barkley very well may be a nice guy, too (though I doubt it -- he went to USC), but he has an eminently punchable face.

• Uh oh. The old Davante Adams appears to be rearing his head. Adams dropped not one, but two touchdowns! In both cases, the Packers had to settle for field goals on the drive. Don’t revert to your old self, Davante!

Aww, Tae, that's alright! ... just don't do that again.

• In case you hadn’t heard, it was pretty cold in Chicago.

• Can we stop acting like Rodger’s “I think we can run the table” comment was bold or at all noteworthy? And that means stop mentioning it in every freaking Packers article. Please? What else was he supposed to say? "I don't think we're good enough to make the playoffs"?? Geez, I haven’t seen the sports media this enamored of a meaningless quote since Rodgers said “R-E-L-A-X.” 

• Beating the Bears was a lot of fun, especially with such a thrilling ending. Still, it felt like something was missing. Can’t quite put my finger on it…

And with his return to Chicago next year unlikely, the Packers probably
won't get to destroy Jay twice a year anymore. *Sniff*

• I would 100% subscribe to this magazine.

• On the opposite end of the quarterback spectrum from ol' Jay, Aaron Rodgers could throw 72 straight interceptions and still have a higher career passer rating than Tom Brady.

• Tom Savage sounds like an 80s singer.

Doesn't look like one at all, though. 

• I feel like his looks should match his name more.

Better.

• Richard Sherman is absolutely right to complain about having to play Thursday night. It’s a legitimate complaint for any team, but especially for the Seahawks this week. They played the late afternoon game, which didn’t end until 7pm-ish. After doing post-game media and the like, they had to gather up all their stuff and fly 2,000 miles from Green Bay back to Seattle, not returning, as Sherman noted, until about 1:00am Monday morning. And they’re supposed to be able to recover, install a game plan, and be ready to play by Thursday night? “Poopfest,” indeed.

• One of the benefits to being Odell Beckham Jr. is that people are so used to you making ridiculous catches that they just assume that you can now catch footballs with your legs. Yes, this was ruled a catch.

• Jaguars fired head coach Gus Bradley almost immediately following Jacksonville’s loss in Houston. My first thought:

I was really, really concerned with this question.

• A lot of other were people concerned, too.

• I don’t want to rub salt into Gus’ open wound here, but Bill Belichick could go 0-16 for 41 consecutive seasons and still have a higher win percentage than Bradley.

• Everyone who like sports hates Skip Bayless, so we all got a good laugh when he was caught posing as a fan commenting on how great his own show is.

• Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was profiled in the Wall Street Journal this week, and the subject of how he always seems to be undermining his team came up. As far as stirring up quarterback controversy -- like when he hinted that he might pull MVP contender Dak Prescott for Tony Romo after the Cowboys lost to the Giants last week -- Jones admitted that when he does these things, it “probably is intentional.” Why on earth would someone do that to his team, his coaches, and his players, one might wonder. Said Jones, “That’s one of the things that makes sports interesting. I do feed that.” Never change, Jerry.

• New England tight end Martellus Bennett doesn’t add layers, no matter the weather. Probably as a ball-security thing, right? Or maybe to prove his toughness?

• The New Orleans Saints came thisclose to catching Cardinals running back Kerwynn Williams, but only got his shoe. That didn’t seem to slow him down.

He lost his shoe.
But it didn't matter.@kerwinning_ is GONE. 49-yard TD! #BeRedSeeRed https://t.co/I7VZ0DF1WG

— NFL (@NFL) December 18, 2016

• Detroit lost, Minnesota lost, Chicago lost -- and Tampa Bay came within a quarter of making it a perfect weekend, but unfortunately they couldn’t hang on against the Dallas Cowboys. 

• The Detroit Lions losing was huge. Now Green Bay's only a game behind Detroit with their season-ending rematch coming up in a couple of weeks. The Lions play the Cowboys next week, which means we all have to -- gulp -- cheer for the Cowboys and hard. It'll be awful, but these are the sacrifices true fans have to make.

• The Vikings are an absolute mess, but so are the Packers, so, again, the trap game must be avoided next week. It’s hard not to look ahead to Week 17, when everything will be decided, but we must handle Minnesota first.  We can do this!

I Wonder If the Packers Will Ever Win Another Game

• The Green Bay Packers lost to the Washington Redskins 42-24 on Sunday night.

• In other NFL news, the Dallas Cowboys continue to -- oh fine, we can talk about the Packers game, though “game” implies there was some sort of competitive spirit involved. Once again, the Packers came out slow, by which I mean barely with a pulse. They went three-and-out, three-and-out, and three-and-out to start the game. How, I don’t know. If you’ve lost three in a row and your chances at making the playoffs are rapidly dwindling, wouldn’t you come out with some fire? Given our defense, I thought the game was going to be tight, but I would have put money on the Packers offense coming out sharp, given what was at stake. But no, guess not.

THIS GIF WAS MEANT TO BE USED HUMOROUSLY DURING THE GOOD
TIMES, NOT TO DEPICT YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD PLAYING TERRIBLY.

• The poor got poorer, or, in the case of the Green Bay defense, the bad somehow got even worse. Already without top defensive backs Sam Shields and Damarious Randall, the paper-thin secondary also lost Demetri Goodson (to a gruesome looking knee injury -- seriously, don’t click on that unless you’re okay with seeing a man’s knee go 90 degrees in the wrong direction) and, later, his replacement Kentrell Brice. Already without leading tackler Jake Ryan, the never-been-good linebacking corps also lost linebacker Nick Perry (returned) and Blake Martinez.

• Here’s a sad little clip of linebacker Kyle Fackrell (#51) racing onto the field to help “defend” and … well, he doesn’t ever really get the chance.

• The offense was okay in spots. James Starks -- credit where credit is due -- I thought had some nice plays, but didn’t get many opportunities in the second half, what with Green Bay getting the snot beat out of it. 

"Oh gosh, what do we do??"

"I don't know!"

"Should we tackle him?

"Maybe. But maybe we should let him pick up an extra yard or 10 first."

"Good idea."

• And Jared Cook, in his first game back since injuring his ankle in Week 3, played so well -- until. Oh, Jared. The tight end had 105 yards on six catches and provided a spark the Packers sorely needed, and I was so happy for him -- until. It doesn’t really matter, anyway. By the time Cook fumbled the ball, the Packers were down 11 with under four minutes to go, so it was a long shot anyway. But it was a painful nail in the coffin for the Pack. It was disappointing to see Cook’s strong night marred by a turnover, but in his defense, this is a pretty bad-ass move by Josh Norman.

• Yes, Cris Collinsworth, we understand that it is windy. Truly, we believe you.

• The offense, in increasingly typical fashion, kind of loafed about before coming alive for stretches. They put up 424 yards, which is pretty good until you consider that the Redskins put up 515. More damning was the Packers’ 50% success rate (or, as I like to call it, their 50% fail rate) in the redzone. Washington, meanwhile, scored touchdowns on four of their five trips to the redzone, and a field goal on their fifth.

• In the offseason, Kirk Cousins wanted a long-term deal that paid him like a top NFL quarterback. Washington wasn’t so sure that that’s what he was, so they offered him multi-year contract at about $16 million per year. Cousins said, “thanks but no thanks,” and the Redskins signed him under the franchise tag. That means that Cousins is the highest paid quarterback (in base salary) this season at just under $20 million, but he’s got no deal after 2016. As it turns out, betting on himself this year has gone pretty well so far, and on Sunday night, he had just one question for Redskins general manager Scot McCloughan:

• That's a little uncomfortable. But while I do kind of like Cousins because he’s such a odd little goofball, the answer, Kirk, is that I do not like you very much right now.

• In other news, I was shocked but pleased that Packers picked up with former Seahawks running back Christine Michael off of waivers. The Minnesota Vikings also put a claim in, but we have a worse record so we got him. (Hah! Take that, Minnesota!!)

But now that he's ours, we can't tease him about having a girl's name anymore.

• You wanna know something weird? In 2016, NFL kickers have missed just one field goal from 32-33 yards out. But they’ve missed 48 extra points from the same distance.

• If you needed another reason to like Cris Collinsworth (which you don’t), you have it in his Twitter takedown of perma-man-boy Bill Simmons. Simmons, though generally a fan of Collinsworth, occasionally has gone after him in his petty little way. When Simmons posted a condescending tweet about Collinsworth’s commentary last week, good-natured Cris took a shot at Simmons’ erstwhile TV show, which was cancelled due to poor ratings:

Zing! 

• Man, whenever I get down, I just think about the Cleveland Browns. This weekend Ben Roethlisberger won in Cleveland, and he now has as many wins in Cleveland as any Browns quarterback has in the last 17 years. In his career, Roethlisberger has faced 12 different Browns quarterbacks.

• And now their current quarterback, rookie Cody Kessler, just got his second concussion of the season, which puts his season in jeopardy and maybe even more.

• Josh McCown is set to start in place of Kessler, but watch him get destroyed by Stephon Tuitt and tell me how he doesn’t also have a concussion!?!? Seriously, I don't think he should be playing anytime soon.

• Normally, the Chicago Bears falling to 2-8 (tee hee) would make me happier, but people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The Bears were always on the hook for Jay’s salary this year, but not so next year, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to envision him being in a Chicago uniform in 2017. This week, Cutler had to deny that he’s “lost his teammates’ support.”

"Nonsense! I never had their support."

• Awww, now I feel bad because I just read that Cutler’s season may be over after he suffered a shoulder injury on Sunday. Sorry, Jay! I hope you heal up quick!

• Nooo, Luuuuuuke! Poor Luke Kuechly suffered a concussion on Thursday night in the Carolina Panthers’ 23-20 victory over the New Orleans Saints. It’s particularly worrisome because Kuechly missed three games last season due to a concussion. Presumably he’ll miss at least some time (please, Panthers, make him miss time, even if he clears protocol), which is a huge blow to the Panthers, for whom he has played 99.3% of defensive snaps this season. It was a heartbreaking and disturbing scene to see one of the game’s best players sobbing on the field.

Oh, Luke! I'll be your shoulder to cry on!

• I know the Carolina Panthers’ motto is #keeppounding, but tweeting that right after your star player gets concussed and when you lead the league in most concussions, you might want to leave off that hashtag.

• The good news is that Kuechly's teammate did post a photo of a much happier looking Luke the next day.

• Someone take pity on Cam Newton and tell him to do something about that nasty goatee. it looks like he accidentally dipped it in some honey mustard.

Just think: that was a conscious decision that took time and effort and money.

• The Tennessee Titans’ center is such a teacher’s pet. In the Titan’s loss to the Indianapolis Colts, a penalty flag was thrown, and the referee announced the penalty: “False start … everyone but the center.” I’ll bet his mom was always yelling, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” at his siblings, too.

• The Minnesota Vikings have a terrible offense that is very bad at scoring. As such, they should have lost to the Arizona Cardinals, but the Arizona Cardinals declared with one voice, “Not on our watch!” And so they allowed not one, but two 100-yard non-offense touchdowns. One was a 100-yard pick-six from Xavier Rhodes and one was a 104-yard kickoff return from the terrifying Cordarrelle Patterson. The Vikings won by six. Argh!

• But the NFC North gods were not yet done smiting the Green Bay Packers because then there was the Detroit Lions-Jacksonville Jaguars game. The Lions had the ball, up 26-19 with 8:19 and are dragging out the clock as much as possible. Seven plays and five minutes later, they’re facing 3rd-and-6 and midfield, but the Jaguars stick ‘em! Woo-hoo! Now, they’ll force a punt and have about three minutes two-and-half minutes left with two timeouts and the two-minute warning left to score. But first, Detroit insists on trying that silly we’re-going-to-pretend-to-go-for-it-on-fourth-down-even-though-everyone-knows-we’re-not-really-going-for-it “trick” that never works. And the Jaguars jumped! Incredibly, eight-year veteran Sen’Derrick Marks jumped offsides, giving the Lions a whole new set of downs that allowed them to take the clock down to 22 seconds. Detroit won by seven. Argh!

• Poor Andrew Luck inevitably has a concussion and looks unlikely to be ready for Thursday’s game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The upshot is we’ll get to see some Scott Tolzien action! 

• Look, I like the Oakland Raiders a lot, but the Houston Texans got royally worked over by the refs on Monday night. On the opening drive, Texans receiver extraordinaire DeAndre Hopkins would have had a touchdown if the refs hadn't blown the play dead, thinking he had stepped out of bounds when he hadn't! Then, in the fourth quarter, Houston CLEARLY  had the first down (see below), but the refs spotted them short and the Texans went for it on 4th-and-inches and again got the first down, and the refs again spotted the ball short! I'm so furious on behalf of the Texans!

• Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith caught his 1,000 career catch, which is pretty awesome. He celebrated by flirting with Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett, who bashfully turned away and blushed demurely.

• All I want for the next 10 Christmases is for the Dallas Cowboys to trade away Tony Romo and then see Dak Prescott experience a Colin Kaepernick-like free fall. (Nothing personal, Dak.) Pleeeeeeaaaase, Santa, I’ve been such a good girl.

• The Cowboys won defeated the Ravens for their ninth straight win. The real highlight of the game for most of the internet, it seems, was Dak Prescott proving himself to be a polite young man who picks up after himself.

• Ugh you guys just don’t understand how rough it is to be a Green Bay fan in Dallas these days. These disloyal bandwagoners who will turn on Dak the second he loses a game, have 20 years worth of unsupported trash talk that they can finally spew without the entire world mocking them. And I have to sit in the middle of it all and listen to it because we’ve entered some sort of Twilight Zone where the Cowboys are good and the Packers are bad!

• I suppose there’s one person in Dallas who has it slightly worse than I, and that’s Tony Romo. His teammates have moved on without him:

"If Coach asks if you like me or Dak better, I need you to
say me, okay? Please? No, I need you to promise."

• His coach stopped listening to him ages ago:

"But you see, interceptions actually help us because they make our defense better, you see?
Plus, when I throw it over there, and the defender picks it off, all the offensive
guys have to get back to defend, too, so it's actually sharpening their skills, too!"
"Uh huh."

• Now he has nothing left to do except sit on the bench and look through the scrapbook he made of the good years:

• And remember when he was king.

• Up next: the Green Bay Packers will help the 5-5 Philadelphia Eagles get back on track next Monday night by making their rookie quarterback look like Tom Brady.

The defenders are so far away that they're blurry.

Thank God for the Chicago Bears

• Ahhh! Nothing like a game against the Chicago Bears to restore a team’s confidence. The Green Bay Packers rolled to a 26-10 win over the Bears on Thursday night. Aaron Rodgers finally surpassed 300 yards in a game, totalling 326 and three touchdowns. The Pack had 32 first downs to Chicago’s 13, ran 81 plays to Chicago’s 45, racked up 406 yards to Chicago’s 189, and held the ball for 40 minutes to Chicago’s 20 minutes. Yikes.

• Hey, Thursday night games are a great idea, NFL! Football players are professionals, right? So three and a half days are more than enough for them to recover from playing an exceedingly violent game so they can play another exceedingly violent game. I know how much the NFL cares about its players’ health and well-being, so I would never doubt their motivation on forcing players to play on Thursday night solely for the purpose of their own tv network’s ratings, but I wonder if perhaps they’d like to reconsider screwing over teams and players every Thursday night.

• Mike McCarthy again deserves credit for getting creative with the playcalling, particularly in how he used wide receiver Ty Montgomery in the backfield. Montgomery had nine carries for 60 yards to go along with his 10 receptions for 66 yards. McCarthy also went for it on 4th-and-goal (hallelujah!). Even though the Packers did not get the touchdown and the result was a turnover on downs, I was very pleased to see  the attempt and I hope it will be the first of many. Here's a nice run by Ty:

• McCarthy had to get creative since Eddie Lacy was put on the IR with an ankle injury that will require surgery and backup running back James Starks is recovering from knee surgery. The Packers signed Kansas City Chiefs running back Knile Davis on Tuesday, who barely played since, ya  know, he just joined the team 36 hours before. Don Jackson was promoted from the practice squad on Thursday, had a couple of carries … and was promptly injured. Not a good time to be a running back for the Packers.

• I hope Jackson’s hand injury doesn’t keep him out for too long. He only had a couple of snaps, but he looked  pretty darn speedy.

• Considering that Lacy needs surgery, maybe he shouldn’t have played on a sprained ankle Sunday against the Cowboys, Coach.

• Apparently saying “put on the IR” is too long, so the announcers kept on saying that Lacy had been “IR’d,” but I’d like to advocate that to be pronounced “irrrred.”

• Welcome to the Packers, Knile Davis! Green Bay traded for the Kansas City Chiefs running back. I like the trade in the sense that the Packers gave up almost nothing (a conditional 2018 seventh-rounder), but not so much in that Davis has averaged only 3.3 yards per carry in his four-year career, or that he was KC’s fourth-string running back, or this:

• But I think his name is cool and I hope he plays well.

I'm trying really hard not to hold the fact that he looks at
least 40 years old against him. (He claims to be 25.)

• Poor Brian Hoyer snapped his forearm in half and will be out for the rest of the season (presumably). Third-string QB Matt Barkley came in and had a statistically horrible game (6-of-15 for 81 yards, two interceptions and no TDs), though I thought he had some nice throws and should have maybe been given a longer leash.

• The biggest winner of Thursday night might actually be Jay Cutler. There appeared to be a very, very good chance that he was not going to get his starting job back when his thumb healed because Hoyer had been playing fairly well. Now ol’ Jay will be welcomed back with open arms as soon as he is healthy. 

The secondary winner is all of us because it's really much more fun
to see the Bears lose week after week when Cutler's at the helm.

• Jeff Janis is a terrible blocker.

• Davante Adams, who perhaps, it could be argued, doesn’t always enjoy the most unblemished of reputations here at O&E, deserves praise for his excellent game. Check out how he fought for this touchdown against the defender who was hanging on to his facemask.

• Adams caught 13 of his 16 targets for 132 yards and two touchdowns. That’s more catches, more yards, and more touchdowns than the entire Bears receiving corps. Well done.

• Rookie safety Kentrell Brice had some fantastic hits on special teams. He’s one to keep an eye on.

• Thursday’s win was great, obviously, and I’m very happy -- really, I am. It’s just that … well, there were a lot of things not to like. Such as:
• Chicago is terrible, terrible team that has already lost to the Texans, Colts, and Jaguars. This should have been a blowout from the very start.
• Aaron had 326 yards, which is great, but it took him 56 throws to get there, which is not great.
• The Packers only managed six points in the first half. 
• Mason Crosby missed an extra point and had a field goal blocked! (I blame Jim Nantz, who highlighted that Crosby had not missed any kick all season. Crosby didn’t make a kick after that. Thanks, Jim.)
• More injuries, not only to Jackson, but TJ Lang left the game for a time with a back injury.
• I normally hate it when people talk about athletes’ body language (see just about every article written about Cam Newton), but someone might want to let the image-conscious Rodgers know that it doesn’t look great on TV to see how upset he gets after every incompletion.
• Chicago was playing their third-string quarterback. And again, they’re really bad. I mean they’re waiting for this man to return as some sort of savior! Jay, are you going to be able to help this team?

• Kurt Warner weighed in on the great “What’s Wrong with Aaron Rodgers?” debate, and his take seems to me to be spot on:

"I think what really has happened is that there is a lack of trust with Aaron Rodgers. And that lack of trust is when you go out as a quarterback and your receivers haven't gotten open, it's hard to anticipate that they're going to get open on time. So as a quarterback, you drop back and you kind of just in the back of your mind are going, 'Okay, probably not going to get open, I'm going to have to buy some time and make a play.' And then all of a sudden they get open on time and you're like, 'Hey, he got open' and you're a half-second late.”

"Finally, someone who understands me."

• After last week’s “missed” (whatever, the ref clearly saw it and decided not to call it) pass interference on Richard Sherman gave the Seattle Seahawks the win, many people echoed the call for every play to be reviewable, but I have to say I disagree, even though those missed calls suck. Imagine, for a moment, that Sherman, instead of grabbing and holding Julio Jones’ arm so that he couldn’t catch the ball, had illegally grabbed Jones’ arm, but immediately let go. Imagine Sherman technically committed pass interference but it didn’t affect the play. If the Falcons (or the booth) had challenged that, wouldn’t the refs be forced to call PI, even if it was ticky-tack? The officials wouldn’t be able to review the play, see the PI, and not call it. Another example would be the fact that there’s holding on just about every single NFL play. Do we really want coaches to be able to challenge every time there’s a minor hold? Do we want to see six challenges every single game? As frustrating as it is when referees’ judgment results in a bad call or no-call, it’d be worse to take their judgment out of the picture.

• The New York Jets benched Ryan Fitzpatrick after he threw 88 interceptions in the first few six weeks, so Geno Smith was named the starter. Asked about Smith, New York wide receiver Brandon Marshall said, “It has been amazing to see this guy grow [and] really punch adversity in the face.” Smith, you’ll remember, lost his starting job last season when he missed games due to a fractured jaw he got when his teammate, um, punched him in the face.

I can't confirm, but this is the face I imagine him making
right before he got his jaw broken.

• Smith, unfortunately for him, got injured in his first start on Sunday, paving the way for -- that’s right -- FITZMAGIC REDEMPTION!! Well, it wasn’t exactly magical, but it was a good performance with no interceptions that got the Jets the win over the Baltimore Ravens. 

• It’s always so awkward when you bench a guy, then need him the next game. It’s even more weekend when he spends his post-game press conference talking about how you gave up on him.

Ryan, Fitz, buddy, you know I love you, but you had thrown 5 TDs and
11 INTs; benching you was not so much a betrayal as the only logical move.

• As it turns out, the Jets will be needing Fitzpatrick for a while, since Smith appears to have torn his ACL. The good news is Geno can now tell Joe Namath that he told him so.

• The Philadelphia Eagles lined up for a field goal with 15 seconds left in the first half before the Minnesota Vikings tried to ice the kicker by calling a timeout. Coming out of the timeout, the Eagles actually ran a play, taking a shot at the endzone. It was incomplete and Philly kicked a field goal on the next play, but I would have loooooooved to see the Vikings punished for the stupid icing the kicker tactic. Alas. Maybe next time.

• The Eagles have a lineman named Halapoulivatti Vaitai. (Pronounced Ha-LEH-poop-la-di-da-VAT-di Vee-tah-tah.) 

• It was wonderful to see the Minnesota Vikings finally lose. The Eagles swarmed poor Sam Bradford to the tune of 19 quarterback hits, six sacks, one interceptions, and four fumbles. The Vikings bedraggled offensive line looked way overmatched by Philly’s defense, which I didn’t even realize was good, but apparently they’re top three in the league. Whoever the victors, I’m just glad to see the Vikes get their first loss.

"Please help."

• Which play chart is uglier? Minnesota-Philadelphia or Arizona-Seattle?

Minnesota vs. Philadelphia	Arizona vs. Seattle
Punt, punt, interception, interception, fumble, fumble, interception, punt, punt, field goal, touchdown, punt, punt, fumble, field goal, (half), punt, touchdown, downs, punt, field goal, downs, fumble, touchdown.	Punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, blocked field goal, punt, field goal, punt, (half), punt, downs, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, blocked punt, field goal, punt, (end of regulation), field goal, field goal, missed field goal, missed field goal.

• How about that Seattle Seahawks-Arizona Cardinals game? Peee-yeew! The game was 3-3 before going into overtime, Arizona kicked a 45-yard field goal on their opening OT possession, and Seattle answered with a 36-yard field goal of their own. I mention the kicking distance because the next two possessions would see Arizona miss a 24-yard field goal and Seattle miss a 28-yard field goal!! The game ended in a 6-6 tie. Yeesh. 

• That’s got to be particularly frustrating for Cardinals fans considering that their team had 186 more yards, more than double the first downs, 33 more plays, and a nearly 20-minute time of possession advantage. Oddly enough, in such a defensive game, neither team had a turnover. 

• You know what’s not helpful after a 6-6 tie? Calling out your teammates for not scoring any points, as Cardinals defensive back Tyrann Mathieu did: “It's a team sport. When the defense is playing well, the offense has to complement us, special teams has to complement everybody, [and] vice versa.” Not wrong, Tyrann, but again, not helpful.

Maybe he meant his teammates should have complimented the defense. Maybe
his feelings were hurt because they weren't telling him he was doing a good job.

• The Monday Night Football ESPN crew decided to test their own kicking skills to see if they could have made the field goals that the Cardinals and Seahawks missed, and they all whiffed terribly … except Randy Moss, who put two kicks right down the middle. In dress shoes.

Straight cash, homie.

• Those stupid, loser, awful Washington Redskins suck, losing to the Detroit Lions 20-17. Detroit had a 10-point lead a couple minutes into the final quarter before Washington cut the lead to three with a touchdown, forced a quick punt, and then had a shoulda-been-game-winning touchdown drive that culminated in 19-yard Kirk Cousins rushing touchdown with 1:05 left. Barely a minute left! And the Redskins do nothing except stand back and let Matthew Stafford and the Lions go 75 yards in 49 seconds! I mean, come on, Washington! Do something! On the winning drive, Stafford had successive completions of 23, 38, and 20 yards, then a couple of incompletions, then an 18-yard touchdown to Anquan Boldin. It was so easy! Gah! And now the Lions are 4-3 and showing signs of interest in the NFC North title.

I DON'T like that, Kirk!

• I thought that Philadelphia corner Ron Brooks rupturing his quad tendon would be the worst injury I’d hear about all week, but then poor Houston Texans right tackle Derek Newton tore patella tendons in both of his knees in the Monday Night loss to the Denver Broncos. That sounds just so gruesome. I hope he gets better soon. =(

• Rookie Carson Wentz received a $17.6 million signing bonus this year. If only he could have used a couple of hundred -- or even $20! -- of that for a shirt.

• Jacksonville Jaguar rookie cornerback Jalen Ramsey, who has already established a reputation as an obnoxious loudmouth just six games into his career, was ejected along with Oakland Raiders receiver Johnny Holton after the two got in a scuffle. Here’s Ramsey after the game on his ejection: “They probably don't want me to say this but I'm going to just keep it real with y'all: If I was out there nine more times, I would do the same thing.” There’s that maturity they’re looking for! Meanwhile, every coach in Jacksonville:

• Miami Dolphins and Houston Texans running back announced his retirement Monday. Throughout his career, Foster has suffered a litany injuries, which he cited as his reason for retiring. Foster is 5th in NFL history in yards per game with 110.9.

• I think the Cleveland Browns will join the 2008 Detroit Lions in infamy by going 0-16. They’re so bad, it makes me depressed looking at their stats. Going back to October of last year, the Browns have lost 17 of their last 18 games. They even went 0-4 in the preseason. They already lost to the two easiest opponents on their schedule -- Miami and Tennessee -- and I don’t really see a win anywhere. They play the 2-5 Jets next week, which may be their last best chance at reveling in the win column in 2016.

• When you’re playing against the Browns and you have AJ Green on your team and he's being defended by five guys, you should definitely go for the Hail Mary before the half because, again, you have AJ Green on your team.

• And AJ Green can do anything.

.@AJGreen_18 is out here making ridiculous one-handed catches look routine.

So good. #CLEvsCIN #WhoDeyhttps://t.co/p2SznwPnYZ

— NFL Network (@nflnetwork) October 23, 2016

• Here’s hoping that the Atlanta Falcons that always bomb in the playoffs are the team that shows up next Sunday against Green Bay instead of the team that leads the league in every offensive stat. Go Pack Go!