Thank God for the Chicago Bears

• Ahhh! Nothing like a game against the Chicago Bears to restore a team’s confidence. The Green Bay Packers rolled to a 26-10 win over the Bears on Thursday night. Aaron Rodgers finally surpassed 300 yards in a game, totalling 326 and three touchdowns. The Pack had 32 first downs to Chicago’s 13, ran 81 plays to Chicago’s 45, racked up 406 yards to Chicago’s 189, and held the ball for 40 minutes to Chicago’s 20 minutes. Yikes.

• Hey, Thursday night games are a great idea, NFL! Football players are professionals, right? So three and a half days are more than enough for them to recover from playing an exceedingly violent game so they can play another exceedingly violent game. I know how much the NFL cares about its players’ health and well-being, so I would never doubt their motivation on forcing players to play on Thursday night solely for the purpose of their own tv network’s ratings, but I wonder if perhaps they’d like to reconsider screwing over teams and players every Thursday night.

• Mike McCarthy again deserves credit for getting creative with the playcalling, particularly in how he used wide receiver Ty Montgomery in the backfield. Montgomery had nine carries for 60 yards to go along with his 10 receptions for 66 yards. McCarthy also went for it on 4th-and-goal (hallelujah!). Even though the Packers did not get the touchdown and the result was a turnover on downs, I was very pleased to see  the attempt and I hope it will be the first of many. Here's a nice run by Ty:

• McCarthy had to get creative since Eddie Lacy was put on the IR with an ankle injury that will require surgery and backup running back James Starks is recovering from knee surgery. The Packers signed Kansas City Chiefs running back Knile Davis on Tuesday, who barely played since, ya  know, he just joined the team 36 hours before. Don Jackson was promoted from the practice squad on Thursday, had a couple of carries … and was promptly injured. Not a good time to be a running back for the Packers.

• I hope Jackson’s hand injury doesn’t keep him out for too long. He only had a couple of snaps, but he looked  pretty darn speedy.

• Considering that Lacy needs surgery, maybe he shouldn’t have played on a sprained ankle Sunday against the Cowboys, Coach.

• Apparently saying “put on the IR” is too long, so the announcers kept on saying that Lacy had been “IR’d,” but I’d like to advocate that to be pronounced “irrrred.”

• Welcome to the Packers, Knile Davis! Green Bay traded for the Kansas City Chiefs running back. I like the trade in the sense that the Packers gave up almost nothing (a conditional 2018 seventh-rounder), but not so much in that Davis has averaged only 3.3 yards per carry in his four-year career, or that he was KC’s fourth-string running back, or this:

• But I think his name is cool and I hope he plays well.

I'm trying really hard not to hold the fact that he looks at
least 40 years old against him. (He claims to be 25.)

• Poor Brian Hoyer snapped his forearm in half and will be out for the rest of the season (presumably). Third-string QB Matt Barkley came in and had a statistically horrible game (6-of-15 for 81 yards, two interceptions and no TDs), though I thought he had some nice throws and should have maybe been given a longer leash.

• The biggest winner of Thursday night might actually be Jay Cutler. There appeared to be a very, very good chance that he was not going to get his starting job back when his thumb healed because Hoyer had been playing fairly well. Now ol’ Jay will be welcomed back with open arms as soon as he is healthy. 

The secondary winner is all of us because it's really much more fun
to see the Bears lose week after week when Cutler's at the helm.

• Jeff Janis is a terrible blocker.

• Davante Adams, who perhaps, it could be argued, doesn’t always enjoy the most unblemished of reputations here at O&E, deserves praise for his excellent game. Check out how he fought for this touchdown against the defender who was hanging on to his facemask.

• Adams caught 13 of his 16 targets for 132 yards and two touchdowns. That’s more catches, more yards, and more touchdowns than the entire Bears receiving corps. Well done.

• Rookie safety Kentrell Brice had some fantastic hits on special teams. He’s one to keep an eye on.

• Thursday’s win was great, obviously, and I’m very happy -- really, I am. It’s just that … well, there were a lot of things not to like. Such as:
• Chicago is terrible, terrible team that has already lost to the Texans, Colts, and Jaguars. This should have been a blowout from the very start.
• Aaron had 326 yards, which is great, but it took him 56 throws to get there, which is not great.
• The Packers only managed six points in the first half. 
• Mason Crosby missed an extra point and had a field goal blocked! (I blame Jim Nantz, who highlighted that Crosby had not missed any kick all season. Crosby didn’t make a kick after that. Thanks, Jim.)
• More injuries, not only to Jackson, but TJ Lang left the game for a time with a back injury.
• I normally hate it when people talk about athletes’ body language (see just about every article written about Cam Newton), but someone might want to let the image-conscious Rodgers know that it doesn’t look great on TV to see how upset he gets after every incompletion.
• Chicago was playing their third-string quarterback. And again, they’re really bad. I mean they’re waiting for this man to return as some sort of savior! Jay, are you going to be able to help this team?

• Kurt Warner weighed in on the great “What’s Wrong with Aaron Rodgers?” debate, and his take seems to me to be spot on:

"I think what really has happened is that there is a lack of trust with Aaron Rodgers. And that lack of trust is when you go out as a quarterback and your receivers haven't gotten open, it's hard to anticipate that they're going to get open on time. So as a quarterback, you drop back and you kind of just in the back of your mind are going, 'Okay, probably not going to get open, I'm going to have to buy some time and make a play.' And then all of a sudden they get open on time and you're like, 'Hey, he got open' and you're a half-second late.”

"Finally, someone who understands me."

• After last week’s “missed” (whatever, the ref clearly saw it and decided not to call it) pass interference on Richard Sherman gave the Seattle Seahawks the win, many people echoed the call for every play to be reviewable, but I have to say I disagree, even though those missed calls suck. Imagine, for a moment, that Sherman, instead of grabbing and holding Julio Jones’ arm so that he couldn’t catch the ball, had illegally grabbed Jones’ arm, but immediately let go. Imagine Sherman technically committed pass interference but it didn’t affect the play. If the Falcons (or the booth) had challenged that, wouldn’t the refs be forced to call PI, even if it was ticky-tack? The officials wouldn’t be able to review the play, see the PI, and not call it. Another example would be the fact that there’s holding on just about every single NFL play. Do we really want coaches to be able to challenge every time there’s a minor hold? Do we want to see six challenges every single game? As frustrating as it is when referees’ judgment results in a bad call or no-call, it’d be worse to take their judgment out of the picture.

• The New York Jets benched Ryan Fitzpatrick after he threw 88 interceptions in the first few six weeks, so Geno Smith was named the starter. Asked about Smith, New York wide receiver Brandon Marshall said, “It has been amazing to see this guy grow [and] really punch adversity in the face.” Smith, you’ll remember, lost his starting job last season when he missed games due to a fractured jaw he got when his teammate, um, punched him in the face.

I can't confirm, but this is the face I imagine him making
right before he got his jaw broken.

• Smith, unfortunately for him, got injured in his first start on Sunday, paving the way for -- that’s right -- FITZMAGIC REDEMPTION!! Well, it wasn’t exactly magical, but it was a good performance with no interceptions that got the Jets the win over the Baltimore Ravens. 

• It’s always so awkward when you bench a guy, then need him the next game. It’s even more weekend when he spends his post-game press conference talking about how you gave up on him.

Ryan, Fitz, buddy, you know I love you, but you had thrown 5 TDs and
11 INTs; benching you was not so much a betrayal as the only logical move.

• As it turns out, the Jets will be needing Fitzpatrick for a while, since Smith appears to have torn his ACL. The good news is Geno can now tell Joe Namath that he told him so.

• The Philadelphia Eagles lined up for a field goal with 15 seconds left in the first half before the Minnesota Vikings tried to ice the kicker by calling a timeout. Coming out of the timeout, the Eagles actually ran a play, taking a shot at the endzone. It was incomplete and Philly kicked a field goal on the next play, but I would have loooooooved to see the Vikings punished for the stupid icing the kicker tactic. Alas. Maybe next time.

• The Eagles have a lineman named Halapoulivatti Vaitai. (Pronounced Ha-LEH-poop-la-di-da-VAT-di Vee-tah-tah.) 

• It was wonderful to see the Minnesota Vikings finally lose. The Eagles swarmed poor Sam Bradford to the tune of 19 quarterback hits, six sacks, one interceptions, and four fumbles. The Vikings bedraggled offensive line looked way overmatched by Philly’s defense, which I didn’t even realize was good, but apparently they’re top three in the league. Whoever the victors, I’m just glad to see the Vikes get their first loss.

"Please help."

• Which play chart is uglier? Minnesota-Philadelphia or Arizona-Seattle?

Minnesota vs. Philadelphia	Arizona vs. Seattle
Punt, punt, interception, interception, fumble, fumble, interception, punt, punt, field goal, touchdown, punt, punt, fumble, field goal, (half), punt, touchdown, downs, punt, field goal, downs, fumble, touchdown.	Punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, blocked field goal, punt, field goal, punt, (half), punt, downs, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, blocked punt, field goal, punt, (end of regulation), field goal, field goal, missed field goal, missed field goal.

• How about that Seattle Seahawks-Arizona Cardinals game? Peee-yeew! The game was 3-3 before going into overtime, Arizona kicked a 45-yard field goal on their opening OT possession, and Seattle answered with a 36-yard field goal of their own. I mention the kicking distance because the next two possessions would see Arizona miss a 24-yard field goal and Seattle miss a 28-yard field goal!! The game ended in a 6-6 tie. Yeesh. 

• That’s got to be particularly frustrating for Cardinals fans considering that their team had 186 more yards, more than double the first downs, 33 more plays, and a nearly 20-minute time of possession advantage. Oddly enough, in such a defensive game, neither team had a turnover. 

• You know what’s not helpful after a 6-6 tie? Calling out your teammates for not scoring any points, as Cardinals defensive back Tyrann Mathieu did: “It's a team sport. When the defense is playing well, the offense has to complement us, special teams has to complement everybody, [and] vice versa.” Not wrong, Tyrann, but again, not helpful.

Maybe he meant his teammates should have complimented the defense. Maybe
his feelings were hurt because they weren't telling him he was doing a good job.

• The Monday Night Football ESPN crew decided to test their own kicking skills to see if they could have made the field goals that the Cardinals and Seahawks missed, and they all whiffed terribly … except Randy Moss, who put two kicks right down the middle. In dress shoes.

Straight cash, homie.

• Those stupid, loser, awful Washington Redskins suck, losing to the Detroit Lions 20-17. Detroit had a 10-point lead a couple minutes into the final quarter before Washington cut the lead to three with a touchdown, forced a quick punt, and then had a shoulda-been-game-winning touchdown drive that culminated in 19-yard Kirk Cousins rushing touchdown with 1:05 left. Barely a minute left! And the Redskins do nothing except stand back and let Matthew Stafford and the Lions go 75 yards in 49 seconds! I mean, come on, Washington! Do something! On the winning drive, Stafford had successive completions of 23, 38, and 20 yards, then a couple of incompletions, then an 18-yard touchdown to Anquan Boldin. It was so easy! Gah! And now the Lions are 4-3 and showing signs of interest in the NFC North title.

I DON'T like that, Kirk!

• I thought that Philadelphia corner Ron Brooks rupturing his quad tendon would be the worst injury I’d hear about all week, but then poor Houston Texans right tackle Derek Newton tore patella tendons in both of his knees in the Monday Night loss to the Denver Broncos. That sounds just so gruesome. I hope he gets better soon. =(

• Rookie Carson Wentz received a $17.6 million signing bonus this year. If only he could have used a couple of hundred -- or even $20! -- of that for a shirt.

• Jacksonville Jaguar rookie cornerback Jalen Ramsey, who has already established a reputation as an obnoxious loudmouth just six games into his career, was ejected along with Oakland Raiders receiver Johnny Holton after the two got in a scuffle. Here’s Ramsey after the game on his ejection: “They probably don't want me to say this but I'm going to just keep it real with y'all: If I was out there nine more times, I would do the same thing.” There’s that maturity they’re looking for! Meanwhile, every coach in Jacksonville:

• Miami Dolphins and Houston Texans running back announced his retirement Monday. Throughout his career, Foster has suffered a litany injuries, which he cited as his reason for retiring. Foster is 5th in NFL history in yards per game with 110.9.

• I think the Cleveland Browns will join the 2008 Detroit Lions in infamy by going 0-16. They’re so bad, it makes me depressed looking at their stats. Going back to October of last year, the Browns have lost 17 of their last 18 games. They even went 0-4 in the preseason. They already lost to the two easiest opponents on their schedule -- Miami and Tennessee -- and I don’t really see a win anywhere. They play the 2-5 Jets next week, which may be their last best chance at reveling in the win column in 2016.

• When you’re playing against the Browns and you have AJ Green on your team and he's being defended by five guys, you should definitely go for the Hail Mary before the half because, again, you have AJ Green on your team.

• And AJ Green can do anything.

.@AJGreen_18 is out here making ridiculous one-handed catches look routine.

So good. #CLEvsCIN #WhoDeyhttps://t.co/p2SznwPnYZ

— NFL Network (@nflnetwork) October 23, 2016

• Here’s hoping that the Atlanta Falcons that always bomb in the playoffs are the team that shows up next Sunday against Green Bay instead of the team that leads the league in every offensive stat. Go Pack Go!

By the Bye

• It’s a good time for a bye for the Green Bay Packers -- ESPN rated them as the #1 most “banged-up” team.

Actually, don't read that link; it's a little depressing.

• The Dallas Cowboys were down seven to the New York Giants with1:30 left when Cowboys’ return man Cole Beasley muffed a punt and New York’s Myles White (former Packer! Woo hoo! Good job!) was there to recover the lucky bounce.

• I felt bad for Cole Beasley -- it’s tough to be the scapegoat. Also, he’s really short, he has a silly name, and silly hair too.

• Beasley apologized to fans on Twitter after the game, taking a calm approach to the Twitter Mafia:

• His wife took a different approach:

• The muffed punt certainly wasn’t the only thing keeping Dallas from the win. They were playing with Matt Cassel at quarterback, for heaven’s sake. While I still maintain that Cassel is an upgrade over Brandon Weeden (albeit very slight), he sure was terrible, throwing three interceptions to just one touchdown.

• Cowboys’ defensive end/wild animal Greg Hardy was very angry at the Cowboys’ special teams unit after they gave up a touchdown. Hardy was screaming and getting in his teammates’ faces, and even slapped a clipboard out of the special teams’ coach’s hands, before injured receiver Dez Bryant and others tried to separate him. When Bryant is the one calming you down, you might have a problem.

• Don’t worry, though, it’s all good! Everything’s totally fine! Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says that Hardy was just “firing up” the special teams guys! When asked if he had a problem with Hardy’s behavior, Jones doubled-down, saying, “As a matter of fact, I would encourage it.”

I wish somebody would publish a Jerry Jones quotes coffeetable book already.

• The Buffalo Bills nearly made a furious comeback after being down 27-3 to the Jacksonville Jaguars, but ended up losing 34-31 in yet another installment of the London series. A good show by Buffalo to make it interesting, but you can’t really blame England for not getting on board with the NFL when we keep sending them terrible teams -- Buffalo was 3-3 going into Sunday’s game, Jacksonville 1-5. Here’s a look at the games we’ve made the Brits sit through in the past two seasons, along with the teams’ records going into the game:
• Miami Dolphins (1-2) vs. Oakland Raiders (0-3)
• Detroit Lions (5-2) vs. Atlanta Falcons (2-5)
• Dallas Cowboys (6-3) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8)
• Buffalo Bills (2-4) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5)
• New York Jets (3-1) vs. Miami Dolphins (1-3)
• In the past six games the NFL has exported, there have been three teams (out of a possible 12 for those of you who can’t multiply two and six) with winning records featured. You know why? Because good teams that habitually win games have too much sway in the league and would (rightly) pitch fits if they had to travel across the Atlantic for a game. But let’s keep pretending that a London franchise is feasible!

• I didn’t watch the Bills-Jags from London because the hell I’ll livestream the game on Yahoo. 1) Do you know how much I pay for Sunday Ticket so I can supposedly have “every game” every week? 2) Yahoo is the worst website in the world. We shouldn’t encourage them.

• Scrambling to avoid a sack, Cleveland Browns quarterback Josh McCown ran out of bounds … and kept running … very slowly … until he ran softly into a wall … and fell down. I don’t really understand -- why didn’t he just stop running?

• The Miami Dolphins were up on the Houston Texans 41-0 at halftime. Can’t we just put the Texans out of of their misery? It seems cruel to make them have to keep going out every Sunday and play NFL teams.

• The Texans’ main problem is that they don’t have a starting quarterback, just two backup quarterbacks competing for the starting job. I don’t know much about playing quarterback, but I do have a little advice for Ryan Mallett on what not to do when you’re trying to win back the starting position: don’t miss the team flight for an away game.

Also, try not to look like this in pictures. It makes
everyone instinctively hate you.

• The Texans having JJ Watt always makes me think that they have a good defense, but they don’t. They’re actually one of the worst defenses in the league by almost any measure. (So maybe not having a quarterback is only one of their main problems.) Miami quarterback Ryan Tannehill sure must have appreciated the stat boost that comes with playing the Texans. Tannehill was 18-for-19 (he started 18-for-18) for 282 yards*, four touchdowns, and no interceptions. (*To be fair, his receivers did most of the work for these yards, as at least half of them came after the catch.)

(Gratuitous JJ pic.)

• Houston Texans running back Arian Foster tore his Achilles tendon and is out for the season. Foster had returned from a groin injury just three weeks earlier. So, uh, I guess things aren’t going to be getting better for Houston anytime soon.

• After the first quarter, the New Orleans Saints had more points (20) than the Indianapolis Colts had yards (16).. By halftime, Indianapolis had managed 131 yards, two interceptions, a fumble, and 0 points. Indy made an effort in the second half and ended up losing by only six, but they’re another team that might need to be put down for the season. Things aren’t looking good for embattled head coach (and my secret old man crush) Chuck Pagano. The Colts are 3-4, their GM and head coach hate each other, and are facing three of the league’s toughest teams in a row: the undefeated Panthers, the undefeated (FOR NOW!) Broncos, a bye, and an Atlanta team that’s only lost one game so far. It will be interesting to see if Pagano survives the bye week.

See, he's handsome, right? It's not just me?

• The Saints aren’t exactly good either. Check out this gruesome stretch that started the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game.

5 of those are three-and-outs! The game also
started with 4 consecutive punts. *Shudder*

• Letroy Guion is a Green Bay defensive lineman who has a history of run-ins with the law. When Guion was arrested this offseason for marijuana possession (among other things), his dad went down to the police station and asked what was going on. When he was told what his son was being charged with, "Guion Sr. laughed and, according to an arrest report, said: 'Well, I'll be honest, every time he comes down he always brings the best weed you ever smoked in your life.'"

"Thanks, Dad!"

• Adrian Peterson threw up before Sunday’s game against the Detroit Lions. It was originally reported that he had gotten sick from accidentally swallowing chewing tobacco (ew), but Peterson denied the report, saying he was sick from eating shrimp, which is he is allergic to. Peterson says he loves shrimp so much that sometimes he eats it and just makes sure he has his EpiPen on him. I’m not sure if that’s the best plan, buddy. You might have to just stop eating shrimp.

• The highlight of the  4-2 (!) Minnesota Vikings’ victory over the Lions (another team that should be put down) was this incredible Stefon Diggs touchdown.

.@stefon_diggs turns "overthrown pass" into "Catch of the Year Contender". So so so soooooo sick. #MINvsDET https://t.co/7L9TZ9SpHR

— NFL (@NFL) October 25, 2015

• While Matthew Stafford probably isn't having too much fun with the Lions at 1-6, it still must be pretty nice to be able to blindly chuck the ball into the air and know that Calvin Johnson will come down with it. For those of you that don't feel like clicking that link, here's what happens in the video:

• While we’re keeping track of teams to euthanize, the San Francisco 49ers should be on the list as well. They’re now 2-5 after losing 20-3 to the Seattle Seahawks on Thursday night.

No, I don't know why Colin Kaepernick is trying
to open a pineapple by unscrewing the top.
Seems as fruitless (hah!) as the Niners' season.

• When the Oakland Raiders and the San Diego Chargers play and the halftime score is 30-6, I certainly don’t expect the Raiders to be on the sunny side of it, but that was the case on Sunday. Oakland scored on its first seven possessions, one of which was this beauty by rookie wide receiver Amari Cooper -- check out the move he puts on that last defender!

• A week after throwing 65 passes, Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers threw 58 on Sunday! A couple of observations: 1) His arm must be very tired. 2) Rivers has a very good chance of breaking the single-season passing attempts record. If you exclude the game against the Cincinnati Bengals in which Rivers threw “only” 27 times, he’s averaging 47 throws per game! That puts him on pace to break the current record currently of 727 (Matthew Stafford. Second place is 691 attempts, btw.).

• When the Washington Redskins were losing 24-0 to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I have to say I wrote them off. Coming into the game, Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins had six touchdowns and eight interceptions in six games, so I think my lack of faith was warranted. Little did I know that a completely different Kirk Cousins would show up. On Sunday, Cousins completed 83% of his passes for 317 yards, three passing touchdowns, one rushing touchdown, and no interceptions.  

• I should probably mention Atlanta Falcons running back Devonta Freeman at some point since he leads the league in rushing, but the Falcons beat the Tennessee Titans, who were without starting quarterback Marcus Mariota, in a 10-7 game which sounds too boring for me to even read a recap of, so all I can do is literally mention Freeman.

• Oh no, Brandon Marshall! He went from hero to goat in a matter of 17 seconds! The New York Jets were playing their archnemesis, the New England Patriots, in Foxborough. It was a close game throughout. The Jets got the ball down 30-20 with 1 minute, 13 seconds left. They try for a 50-yard field goal with 23 seconds remaining, but there’s a false start penalty on the Jets, so they move back and try a 55-yard field goal with 18 second left -- it’s good! But the bad news is they used all three of their timeouts on that drive. So with 18 seconds left they try an onside kick…. and Brandon Marshall recovers!!

• The Jets take over about midfield, down seven points, and throw a 12-yard completion with 14 seconds left. With no timeouts left, they have to race to lineup after the play so they can spike the ball, which they do with just one second left on the clock. Buuuuut, unfortunately, Brandon Marshall, the hero of yestersecond, did not get set before the snap, which is a false start penalty, which, when it occurs under the two-minute mark, brings with it a 10-second runoff, which means game over. New England 30, New York 23. Ouch.

• I still can’t decide if we should be impressed by the 6-0 Carolina Panthers or not. After Week 7, the six teams they’ve defeated (Jaguars, Texans, Saints, Bucs, Seahawks, Eagles) have a combined record of 15-26. I guess I’ll wait to see how the Packers play against them in two weeks. If Green Bay wins handily, I’ll deride the Panthers as frauds. If Carolina wins, I’ll say, well, they’re a really tough team -- just look at their record!

• I’m super excited for the Packers' Sunday night showdown with the Denver Broncos! Hopefully the Pack will get some of their players back (Davante Adams, Morgan Burnett, a healthier Eddie Lacy) -- they’ll need all the help they can get against Denver’s defense! Go Pack Go!

I know you'll be there on the field in spirit.