No Time to Gloat; On to Atlanta!

• Totally kidding. Of course there's time to gloat. That's what this entire post is going to be.

• When asked what he was thinking when the Dallas Cowboys tied the game with 35 seconds left, Aaron Rodgers responded: “A little too much time on the clock.” Hahahahahahaha! Sorry, Cowboys, not this year!

• AAAAAAHHHHHHH that was so stressful! And awesome! Any last-second Green Bay Packers victory in a playoff game is incredible, but it’s just so much sweeter that it came against the Cowboys. 

• I don’t even know where to start! Let’s start at the very end, with Mason Crosby nailing a 51-yarder for the victory. And just a few minutes after kicking a 56-yarder to take the lead. He actually had to kick the 51-yard field goal twice, as Dallas stupidly tried to ice him. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you don’t ice Mason Crosby. 

"I play games on the field, not up here."

• Here’s the kick set to “My Heart Will Go On.” Some funny people have realized that every sports moment sounds epic with this score in the background, and they’re right.

Condolences to the ever expanding Cowboys bandwagon. Packers bandwagon next week? (cc: @TitanicHoops) pic.twitter.com/qvrdoLKgKE

— Jessie Karangu 🇰🇪 (@JMKTV) January 16, 2017

• Let’s backtrack to that 35-second mark. Dallas has just tied it up, the Packers have the ball and two timeouts. I had been horribly nervous and upset in the fourth quarter as the Packers squandered their lead (I knew the Dallas comeback was coming, and I knew the Packers defense wasn’t going to be able to do much about it), but the crazy thing when Aaron Rodgers is your quarterback is that situations like these seem eminently doable. I knew we weren’t going to overtime. It was nice to have overtime as a fallback, but I knew we weren’t going to overtime. Even after the first incompletion. Even after Rodgers was sacked with 23 seconds left. Even after another incompletion. Then, with the clock down to 12 (COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT), Rodgers takes the snap, almost immediately spins left out of the pocket, buys time, buys time, and then hits tight end Jared Cook on this insane throw and catch!! This is about when I lost my mind. (Look at Rodgers on the replay trying to will Cook into keeping his toes in.)

• Cook has really been huge for the Packers. Having that big target really changes the way defenses have been covering the Packers, and it’s clear to see how Rodgers relies on him. On that last drive, every attempt was to Cook. Crazy what having an actual tight end can do, huh?

• Now that I’ve taken a veiled swipe at Richard Rodgers, I do have to give him props for his nice play on Green Bay’s first touchdown. On a free play, the ball actually went through the defender’s arms and Rodgers was still able to keep focus on it for the catch. Nice job.

• One of the thing that bothers me about R. Rodgers -- besides being super slow and klutzy and an embarrassingly bad blocker -- is that he always has a dopey grin on his face, even if he’s just messed up a huge play. He’s always smiling this odd dreamy smile. And I do mean always. Here he is on his touchdown reception:

Yep, still smiling.

• The Packers defense had a few rough spots -- and losing Morgan Burnett to a quad injury didn’t help (seriously, that’s bad news. We need him for Atlanta.) -- but they also had a bright spot or two. Defensive MVP of the game was clearly Micah Hyde, who had an early sack and a beautiful pass break-up in the first half. His best play, though, was this textbook read and interception off of Dak Prescott. He anticipated this so quickly that the ball’s almost behind him when he picks it off!

• It was fun to hear Hyde break down the play afterwards. He knew what was coming pre-snap, but didn’t want to leave the corner, LaDarius Gunter, out to dry if the Cowboys ended up adjusting -- Gunter would have been left to cover two receivers by himself. Gunter, however, saw the same thing pre-snap and knew what Hyde was thinking. He told Hyde, “Go get it.” And Micah did.

• I desperately missed my Jordy during the game, of course, but I was pleased to see his sideline prowess alive and well not only on Cook’s game-saving play, but with Green Eyes, too. (The full highlight is even more impressive.)

Perfect. #ToeDragSwag #GoPackGo #NFLPlayoffs pic.twitter.com/jqaSH7OXxr

— NFL (@NFL) January 15, 2017

• Aaron Rodgers threw his first interception in 318 passes on Sunday (only 17 passes off the record!), which is just madness. Another way to look at it? Aaron Rodgers threw 24 touchdowns in between interceptions. That’s as many touchdown passes as Dak Prescott threw all season. And that's no knock on Dak; just perspective on how good Rodgers has been.

• There were some low-key MVPs I would like to recognize.
• First, Aaron Rodgers not fumbling on that sack with 18 seconds left. No idea how he hung on. 

Lord, how did Rodgers not fumble that? pic.twitter.com/5AOuXlZiIY

— Scott Charlton (@Scott_Charlton) January 16, 2017

• Second, the sideline judge who overruled the head judge on the Cook catch.

• Finally, Jason Garrett/Dak Prescott for clocking the ball on a first down with 1:07 left, thereby wasting a down instead of using their timeout.

• I don’t like to kick a team when it’s down, but it’s the Dallas Cowboys we’re talking about, so you can sure bet I’m going to do it. The Cowboys played fantastic all season and should be credited for it. However, it seems that they benefitted from playing a lot of really bad teams, too. Below are the final season offensive rankings for all the teams the Cowboys played (by points scored). Aside from the Packers (who were certainly not #4 at the time they played) and the Steelers, none of the teams Dallas played are even in the top ten offensively. Just saying.
• 11-5 Giants – 26th (played twice, lost twice)
• 8-7-1 Redskins – 12th (played twice)
• 3-13 Bears – 28th
• 2-14 Niners – 27th
• 6-9-1 Bengals – 24th
• 10-6 Packers – 4th
• 7-9 Eagles -16th (played twice, lost once)
• 1-15 Browns – 31st
• 11-5 Steelers – 10th
• 8-8 Ravens – 21st 
• 8-8 Vikings – 23rd
• 9-7 Buccaneers – 18th
• 9-7 Lions – 20th 

• Man, what a game. It’s hard not to celebrate too much and revel in the salty, salty tears of all of the Cowboys’ bandwaggoning fans, but the Packers still have a lot of work to do. GO PACK GO!

👍👍 #GBvsDAL #GoPackGo pic.twitter.com/mSLCEQDGyM

— Green Bay Packers (@packers) January 16, 2017

• This space was to be used to talk about the New England Patriots-Houston Texans game, but one team’s quarterback is Tom Brady and the other’s is Brock Osweiler. How do you think it went? 

• The new Los Angeles Chargers’ logo is awful. It looks like a Chinese symbol meets an italicized hashtag meets a broken fence meets a corporation called “4A.”

They shall henceforth be known as the "4A Chargers." (At least to me.)

• Some people noticed a slight resmblance between the 4A Chargers’ logo and the Los Angeles Dodgers' logo.

• And other pro teams couldn't help piling on. (The Chargers eventually "clarified" that this isn't actually their new logo. Okay, sure.)

• I’ve spoken up before for Troy Aikman and Joe Buck -- I really do not understand why so many people hate them! They are so much better than absolutely everyone except for the Sunday Night Football crew. The vitriol toward them is especially weird coming from Packers fan, tens of thousands of whom have signed a petition to get Aikman and Buck banned from calling Packers game. Fans apparently think that the two are biased when it comes to Green Bay, and they’re absolutely right, because Aikman and Buck don’t even try to hide how much they love the Packers. Have either of them said a bad word about Aaron Rodgers? I mean, ever? Have they ever gone an entire game without congratulating Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy for their success? How often to they bring up the fans and the town and how unique the Green Bay team’s relationship with the community is? If other teams’ fans were signing that petition, that’d make sense, because they’re probably sick of hearing Aikman and Buck gush over the Packers. So bizarre.

• I really hate Pete Carroll. His teams are full of @$$holes and loudmouths. They’re dirty, cheap players and sore losers. The second the game gets out of hand for them, you can put money in the bank that they’re going to start taking cheapshots and trying to injure opponents. It’s one of their hallmarks, and given how consistent it is, I’ll lay the blame for that at the feet of the Robber Baron himself.

• Here’s Seattle defensive end Michael Bennett chewing out a reporter after the game who had the nerve to suggest that the Seahawks defense didn't get as much pressure on Atlanta QB Matt Ryan -- who threw for over 300 yards -- as they were perhaps hoping to:

• And here’s injured Seattle safety Earl Thomas going after a team they weren’t even playing:

• Keep in mind that the Seattle Seahawks play in the same division as the 2-14 San Francisco 49ers and the 4-12 Los Angeles Rams. Next best after Seattle was the 7-8 Arizona Cardinals. So why don’t you just focus on healing up, Earl?

• Despite the close 18-16 score in the Pittsburgh Steelers-Kansas City Chiefs game, the Steelers really controlled nearly the entire game by controlling the clock. The Chiefs had a 4:54 drive in the third quarter (resulted in a punt) and a final drive of 7:06 (resulted in a touchdown). Other than that, the Chiefs averaged less than two minutes per drive.

• About that last touchdown. Down eight with 2:43 left in the game, the Chiefs scored and elected to go for the two-point attempt to tie the game. And they made it!! Buuuuuut, the play was called back by a hold on the left tackle. The re-attempt failed and that was your final score: 18-16 Pittsburgh.

• As you might imagine, the Chiefs were not happy with the holding call. (I think it was the right call and no, I don’t think “a hold could be called on every play!” is a strong argument for not calling this one.) After the game, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce went off on the ref, saying the call was "horse$#!+, flat-out" and "ignorance." He said the ref "shouldn’t be able to wear a zebra jersey ever again. He shouldn’t even be able to work at $#^%ing Foot Locker.”

• A couple of things for Kelce: 1) That was a hold, so quit complaining about the ref and saying James Harrison just fell down. The issue is you don’t think a hold should be called in that important of a situation. That’s different than saying the ref made up the call. 2) “We try to play this game with integrity,” Kelce says. Hmm, yes, tell me more about your integrity, Travis.

• I really don’t care about the Steelers or the Chiefs, and I do think the hold was a good call, but I also kinda feel like you don’t deserve to win if you can’t manage a single touchdown. I certainly don’t want to run down kickers after what Mason Crosby just did for my life, but all 18 of Pittsburgh’s points came off the leg of kicker Chris Boswell.

• The NFL is all about player safety, you know. That’s why they have independent neurologists right on the field to examine players after big hits and evaluate them for concussions. It’s really great for the players, like Chris Conley, who was put back in the game one play after taking this hit:

• I know that the Kansas City Chiefs were the technical favorites in the game, but c’mon, who’s afraid of the Kansas City Chiefs? They could go 16-0, and no one would ever even pick them to go to the Super Bowl.

• You know who I used to feel that way about? The Atlanta Falcons. For so many years, I’d be really impressed with Matt Ryan and the Falcons, only to have them goose-egg in a huge game or miss the playoffs in a weak division. So somewhere about two or three seasons ago, I told myself I was going to stop falling for Atlanta’s hey-look-we’re-a-contender routine because I’d just seen it one too many times before. I genuinely have felt bad for their fans for a while because it must suck to have a super talented team that you have absolutely no faith in. Even earlier this season, as they got blazing hot once again, I had to remind myself not to forget that they always disappoint:

• But now? Maybe now’s the season they finally figure it out? With Matt Ryan as the MVP frontrunner and an offense that scores more points than any other team, they’re looking, well, scary, to a team like Green Bay, whose glaring weakness is their pass defense. Matt Ryan’s probably looking at our defense like:

• Not so fast, Matty Ice. This means your defense has to go up against Aaron Rodgers.

• Atlanta may very well be the toughest matchup for Green Bay, but there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic about the game. Reasons #1-19 all rhyme with Taron Todgers, but our defense has also had some good moments throughout the year and have come up with big stops with games on the line. The Packers played the Falcons very, very close this year, losing a heartbreaker by one point, and the Packers are a much better team now than they were in Week 8. (The Falcons, for their part, didn’t have their #1 receiver for much of the game, but never mind that.) Green Bay’s best defense will probably be keeping their own offense on the field and keeping Ryan & Co. sidelined. It’ll be a tough game, but I BEEELIIIEEEVE!

• And there’s a chance we get this guy back.

*Swoon*

One Down.

• Green Bay started out slow, but when they got going, boy, did they get going. Halfway through the second quarter, the Packers had seven total yards and it was worrisome because the lethargy looked awfully familiar to Packers fans who suffered through the Packers four-game losing streak. Despite that horrible first quarter-and-a-half, the Packers finished with 406 yards and 38 points.

• Dear Green Eyes, who was a game-time decision after missing the last two weeks with an ankle injury, scored thrice! (Good decision, huh?) He completed his hat trick with this fourth quarter touchdown (In any other game, this would be the hottest touchdown.) When I saw how hard Rodgers threw this, I thought there was no way anyone could catch it. So glad to have you back, Randall.

• That wasn’t the most exciting Cobb touchdown. That would be the Hail Mary Rodgers threw to Cobb in the last seconds of the first half. HOW does Aaron Rodgers keep on doing this?!?!?

The Aaron Rodgers Hail Mary TD Trilogy. #GoPackGo pic.twitter.com/SYfIM3vuim

— NFL (@NFL) January 8, 2017

• The Arizona Cardinals were on the short end of a Rodgers’ Hail Mary last season, and, no, they haven’t forgotten.

• There were so many awesome touchdowns in the game, but the very first one was my favorite. It’s just incredible. Rodgers makes plays like this pedestrian because he does them so often. It’s an absolutely insane throw, and what a catch by Davante Adams!! (Side note: Adams has had a really wonderful season, despite a few hiccups. His performance should be noted since I lash out at him every time he has a drop.)

• Honestly, just look at this. This is a still from the above touchdown catch. Look where Rodgers, way off the screen to the left, had to throw the ball to keep it away from the defender. Look at the angle, and look how small the window is. Can’t get enough of this touchdown.

• Major props to our much maligned (by me) defense in holding the Giants to two field goals in the first half. Keeping New York’s from converting their trips to the redzone to touchdowns was huge and kept the Packers in the game, even when it felt like the Giants were owning the game in the first quarter-and-a-half.

• As we gained Green Eyes, we also lost a receiver. I really, really don’t want to talk about this. I want to just ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. Oh Jooooooooooooooordy! Nooooo! My poor Sideline Ninja! I wish I were there to comfort him! Jordy reportedly fractured two ribs on the illegal hit and spent the night in the hospital.

• The Packers’ injuries just keep piling up. They can’t catch a break! After Nelson went down, Ty Montgomery had a nasty-looking knee injury, though he returned to the game. (How, I don’t know. I thought he was going to be out for a year.) Blake Martinez also left the game with a knee injury. 

• At least there were no further injuries to the secondary. (*fingers crossed*) After Quinten Rollins suffered a scary concussion and neck injury and Makinton Dorleant was placed on the IR with a hamstring injury, the Packers had to promote cornerback Herb Waters from the practice squad. Herb was an undrafted wide receiver, by the way. Even former Chicago Bears and Carolina Panthers corner Charles Tillman was offering to help.

• One of the Giants’ best DBs, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, suffered a leg injury early on. Now, I’m never happy when a player gets injured, but considering the Packers’ early struggles, I wasn’t exactly sad. I was super sad to see New York just pumping DRC full of painkillers and throwing him back on the field when he could barely walk. Someone should have pulled the poor guy from the game!

• I’m really like Christine Michael. He looks like one of those Happy Meal toys that you pull back and then it goes zipping away. I don’t know that he really takes a lot of time to pick his spots, but he sure does run fast! He also just seems very happy to be playing football. Here he is celebrating being in the playoffs with a former Seahawks teammate of his who now plays for the Giants. 

• All week long I had to hear all this past week was about how Eli Manning had as many Lambeau postseason wins as Aaron Rodgers and how the Giants were so hot and had such a great secondary and “Playoff Eli” (whatever that is *snort*) and so on and so forth. To which, I said:

• One thing that can be said for Eli is that he’s always very consistent: he had two turnovers on Sunday to along with his 23 in the regular season. Here’s a lovely heads-up play from Mr. Clay Matthews, who sacked Manning, forced the fumble, was the only who seemed to realize it was a fumble, ran 10 yards, hit another dude to keep him from recovering the ball, and then scooped up the fumble himself.

• Now, this man is hurting because his former team, the New York Giants, just got shredded, but he still doesn’t let that get in the way of truth and righteousness. 

• Tuck’s handling the loss better than Odell Beckham Jr.

This is the hole Beckham punched in the locker room wall at Lambeau after the loss.

• Here’s the last Manning Face from the 2016 season and it's a beaut:

• It was a fairly tame Wild Card Weekend, with all four games being blowouts. There were a few fun highlights, however, including some crazy catches in Seattle’s 26-6 victory over the Detroit Lions. It hurts to see the Seahawks succeed, but you can’t help but be impressed by Paul Richardson’s x-ray vision on this catch. (Yes, yes, he facemasked the defender, but no, I don’t care. Defender interfered with him first.)

• Pittsburgh kept up their own hot streak with their eighth consecutive win, this one over Miami. Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown each had two touchdowns. The Dolphins did not look like they belonged in the playoffs, most likely because they don’t.  

• Every time the NFL makes some stupid commercial boasting about how much they care about player safety, I’m just going to tweet this clip at them, since Miami quarterback Matt Moore returned to the game after missing one play from this hit. Thank God for those independent neurologists!

• The Houston Texans and the Oakland Raiders played on Saturday. It was an epic battle between Brock Osweiler and Connor Cook! I don’t know who won because who would watch that game? All I know is that Tom Brady is sitting somewhere knowing he’s getting to play either Houston or Oakland. 

• Okay, after looking it up, it appears the Texans won. Brock Osweiler has been named Houston’s starter for next week. If Tom Savage (who usurped the starting position from Osweiler a few weeks ago) is recovered enough from his concussion, he’ll be the back-up. If not, Brandon Weeden will be the back-up.

Yeah, Brandon, that's how the Texans feel, too. 

• “Any given Sunday” and all, but Houston’s point differential for the regular season was -49. I have a real hard time envisioning them giving New England any trouble at all.

• Phil Simms is in peak form for the playoffs.

• Going back to last week, the final game of the season always has some serious financial implications for player contract incentives. Like Kansas City’s punt return against the San Diego Chargers ended up costing a Minnesota Vikings player $100,000. In Indianapolis, kicker Adam Vinatieri’s missed field goal cost him half a million dollars.

• Wide receiver Steve Smith made his retirement official with his letter to league. He just couldn’t help himself, I guess, and had to make sure his letter had his own personal touch.

"Dear Commissioner Goodell, This is to notify you that as of today I,
Steve Smith Sr., will no longer be antagonizing defensive
backs. I am retiring from the National Football League."

• The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum is home to the LA Rams. It also hosted the Rose Bowl this year. In the Rose Bowl, Penn State and USC scored more points in the Coliseum than the Rams did all year.

• Awww, JJ Watt is still being adorable even though he’s been sidelined for most of the season. Someone tweeted to JJ about a little boy who was hit by a car. The boy was in the was in the emergency room and crying because the doctors had to cut him out of the Watt jersey he was wearing. JJ responded by going to the hospital the next day to deliver some jerseys to the boy personally when he got out of surgery.

• It’s been a rough year for a lot of teams and if you’re down in the dumps about your team missing the playoffs, just look to the Chicago Bears to bring a little levity to your life. After the 3-13 Bears missed the postseason for the ninth time in the last 10 years, receiver Alshon Jeffery, who, it should be noted, is now a free agent, guaranteed that the Bears would win the Super Bowl next year. Hahahahahahahhahahaha! Oh, those Chicago Bears always know just how to cheer me up.

• Let’s check in with PSQ one more time:

• In the Packers’ regular-season-ending win over the Detroit Lions, Green Bay became the first NFL team to beat another team 100 times. That’s a fun milestone to hit.

• I cannot wait for the Dallas game next week! I really, really need Green Bay to win, not just for obvious reasons, but because I’ve been waiting all season for the Cowboys’ fans meltdown, and them getting knocked out in their first playoff game will be the ideal time for it.

• Jordy’s not officially ruled out for next week’s game, but as BAMF as it would be for my Sideline Ninja to play with two broken ribs, I hope the training staff will hold him out if it’s not safe for him to play. I can’t have the love of my life puncturing a lung or anything.  

• It’s particularly tough for Nelson to miss all of last season, work to get back to form, play an incredible season, help bring his team to life in time to make the playoffs, only to be knocked out in the first postseason game.

• So, Aaron Rodgers’ last seven games: 70% completion rate, 2,029 yards, 19 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 121.7 rating. 

We, Um, Might Need to Talk About Aaron Rodgers

• The Green Bay Packers 30-16 loss to the Dallas Cowboys was not pretty. At all. From the Packers giving up their first opening drive touchdown to the Cowboys putting up more rushing yards than the Packers have allowed in the previous four games combined to the increasingly normal impotence of the offense, it was a rough day for the Green and Gold.

Ugh and you just know that, somewhere, Jerry Jones
was grinning like the creepy emperor from Star Wars.

• As much as I like to blame all passing game ills on Davante Adams and Richard Rodgers, the truth is Aaron Rodgers is obviously struggling. Set aside any drops by the receivers, any bad play-calling, and Rodgers is still just missing things he very rarely misses. His interception into the guy of Barry Church was a perfect example of Rodgers, whose field vision is usually spectacular, failing to see Church coming off the outside receiver.

• And while I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED, and I’m sure Aaron will get out of his slump soon, and I don’t want to pile on to the guy, I also have to admit that I’m less than impressed with his attitude. He seemed to think he only had a couple of bad throws. Said Rodgers: 

We were close tonight. I missed a couple, possibly the one to [Richard] Rodgers down the middle, and I obviously threw it right to Barry [Church]... Other than that, I mean, there were multiple times when we had to extend plays because guys weren’t open on the normal timing or even slightly later than normal timing.

• Are those really the only times you can think of, Aaron? Not throwing a sure-touchdown six feet too high to Cobb? Or leading Jordy Nelson into crossing defenders? I understand you’re not getting the help you need from your receivers or your playcalls, but I’m going to need a little more abjection from you than a dismissive, “I gotta play better, for sure.”

More like this.

• I’ll say the same thing to Mike McCarthy as I said all of last season: “DO SOMETHING!!!!” Now, to his credit, he’s using more personnel, working in receivers Ty Montgomery, Trevor Davis, and Jeff Janis. But he’s still not doing a whole lot to help those receivers as far as pre-snap formations, picks, or creative routes. After Nelson and Cobb, there’s little evidence to believe that the Green Bay receivers can out-and-out win individual match-ups. That makes it easy for teams to focus on Jordy and Randall since neither Adams nor Montgomery nor Janis nor Rodgers nor anyone else has proven that he warrants extra defensive attention.

This is not the facial expression of defensive coordinators who play the Packers.

• The ailing Green Bay secondary did not help matters. Already without top corner Sam Shields, the Packers lost Quinten Rollins and Damarious Randall. This propelled LaDarius Gunter into the lineup, who is, uh, let's just say not ready for prime time. The coaches are (were?) high on Gunter last season and I’m certainly not going to give up on him, but he was absolutely undressed on nearly every single snap he played. 

• I remain very worried about Shields. I love him, but he needs to retire. Shields has been out with yet another concussion since Week 1 and he needs to start thinking about himself and his long-term health. It’d leave Green Bay up a creek, though. Maybe we can lure Casey Hayward back from the San Diego Chargers at a much-reduced contract. Think he’ll go for it?

Remember all the good times, Case!

• Eddie Lacy came to play, injured ankle and all. He only finished with 65 yards, but ripped off a couple of nice and surprisingly agile runs. What in the sam hill was McCarthy thinking, though, going into a game with an injured running back and no backup??

• Yes, James Starks was out with an injury. Try to contain your surprise. Mr. Glass really wore himself out averaging 2.8 yards per carry last week and suffered a knee injury. It’s rumored that Starks tore his meniscus and underwent surgery this week. He is not expected back for a few weeks at least. So I guess that leaves Green Bay with no healthy running back and two days until the next game. Here’s hoping McCarthy decides to pick up a running back really soon. Like, today.

I'm sorry, James, for real. I hope you recover
quickly and find a nice home on some other team.

• Green Eyes did notch a touchdown, his first of the season. The even worse stat is that it was just Rodgers’ first second-half touchdown of the season.

• Besides Lacy, the only real positive was Montgomery. He didn’t have a spectacular game, but had over 100 all purpose yards and got some good reps in.

• It was another rough week for Jordy. He had five catches for 68 yards, but coughed up a fumble for just the second time in his career. 

Don't worry, boo. We'll get 'em Thursday.

• The biggest downer was the four turnovers. How can you win a game with four turnovers?! On the season, the Packers’ turnover differential, which is my favorite stat, is a dismal -3. 

• One thing to look forward to is Tony Romo being able to return pretty soon. Jerry Jones, right on cue, has chimed in that Romo is totally healed and just needs to get back in shape. Jones has recently backed off his previously unwavering support for Romo to regain his starting job once healthy.

• I keep going back and forth on the Pittsburgh Steelers, but I think they’re not good. They beat the Washington Redskins, who aren’t terrible. They beat the Cincinnati Bengals, who are terrible (2-4). They got trounced by the Philadelphia Eagles, then beat the Kansas City Chiefs who are so unthreatening that I’m not going to even bother looking up their record. (Fine, it’s 3-2.) Then they beat the New York Jets, who are no good (1-5), and then lost to the Miami Dolphins (2-4) this week! Even if they weren’t bad before, they certainly will be now that Ben Roethlisberger is out for at least a few games with a torn meniscus that required surgery.

• Rough, rough no-call on Richard Sherman’s obvious pass interference that stole the game from the Atlanta Falcons. 

• Why is it that the Seattle Seahawks are always, always on the winning end of bad calls?? No wonder Pete Carroll is so smug all the time.

• Tom Brady is now 49-1 at home against AFC opponents since 2007. Insane.

• Check out this Vernon Davis touchdown. Watch it again. Did you see that egregious touchdown celebration?!?! Davis’ jump shot cost his team 15 yards for “excessive celebration” since he used the ball as a prop.

• I hate that I have an opinion on this, but I really prefer Carrie Underwood’s old SNF opening.

• Vontaze Burfict is the dirtiest player in the league and needs to be suspended every single time he gets a personal foul from now on. It’s what he’s known for and he does this crap week in and week out.
• Here he is trying to injure Martellus Bennett:

Vontaze Burfict going low on Bennett. Seemed unnecessary but what do I know. #Patriots pic.twitter.com/4DWnqa76TD

— Will D. (@WAD1980) October 16, 2016

• And here he is intentionally stepping on a New England Patriots player:

Video: From coaches film (courtesy NFL), watch Vontaze Burfict (55) deliberately step on Blount's leg after TD. pic.twitter.com/wtTPqy3XHP

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 17, 2016

• Ugh the worst sounding injury and the one that makes my skin crawl just hearing it is “lacerated kidney.” The Chargers’ Keenan Allen had one a couple of years ago, Andrew Luck dealt with that last year, and now Cleveland Browns safety Jordan Poyer looks to be out the rest of the year with the same.

• If your job were printing players’ names on their jerseys, wouldn’t you check the spelling before signing off on a jersey for someone named Prince Amukamara?

• The NFL is a mean and petty little tyrant. The league has declared that teams can no longer post their own highlights on their social media channels. Some teams, like the Eagles and the Browns, mocked the NFL by posting claymation-type videos of their highlights, which, hilariously, have now been pulled.

• Goodness gracious, the Indianapolis Colts had a 14 point lead with three minutes left and somehow lost! Much sympathy has been sent Andrew Luck’s way as the quarterback tries and tries to lift his dismal team out of the muck. One person who doesn’t have sympathy for Luck is Ryan Grigson, the Colts’ general manager. Grigson, defending himself against the charges of completely failing to put any talent around his #1 pick, blamed Luck’s contract, saying, "Once you pay Andrew what we did, it’s going to take some time to build on the other side of the ball.” Sorry, but uh-uh, Ryan. First off, boo-hoo, it’s so tough having had the top pick in the draft! Second, other teams have the salary cap, too. Other teams have quarterbacks with huge contracts, too, and they manage to pick better players than you have. Luck, for his part, continues to be entirely endearing and refuses to blame his horrible offensive line.

• Apparently, things are no good between Houston Texans head coach Bill O’Brien and quarterback Brock Osweiler, who reportedly had a blow up at a team meeting last week. It’s hardly a surprise considering their mail-order bride courtship, but Houston sportswriters must be tripping over themselves to write their “Houston, We Have a Problem” headlines.

"Whaddya mean it's been used? This is gold, I tells ya!"

• Ugghh the LA Rams not only lost to the Detroit Lions, but they also pulled my least favorite move during Detroit’s victory formation, injuring the Lions center and nearly injuring the quarterback. Nothing says low-class losers like trying to injure opponents after the game is over. I hate, hate, hate this bush league move. 

• I have to end with some devastating news: Green Eyes is engaged and, no, not to me. It’s a tough time, but I just want him to be happy.

We'll always have my near-constant Google Image searches of you.