That Was ... a Lot Easier Than I Expected

• I’ll be honest: I was pretty worried about the Green Bay Packers facing the Seattle Seahawks, especially after seeing the Seahawks dismantle the Carolina Panthers 40-7 last week. All my anxiety was in vain, however, because the Pack came out hot and never cooled off in their 38-10 victory over Seattle. Pete Carroll's stress-chewing must have been off the charts. 

• It sure helped that Russell Wilson had an off-day and threw five interceptions. Morgan Burnett, Quinten Rollins, and Micah Hyde grabbed a pick each, and Damarious Randall notched two. In the previous 12 games this season, Green Bay had a total of eight interceptions. I’m inclined to think Sunday was an anomaly, but well done nonetheless, DBs. Keep it up!

• Strong safety Burnett has played at inside linebacker for snaps here and there this year as a “change-up” look, but spent a good chunk of Sunday at linebacker to help put a lid on Seahawks’ tight end Jimmy Graham. The package seemed to work, as Graham was limited to one catch for 16 yards, and Burnett had yet another strong game.  

• Well, well, well, look who leads the NFL in receiving touchdowns? Maybe this will get my brothers to stop saying that Nelson’s no good since his injury.

• Speaking of Jordy, he and Rodgers scored their 57th touchdown on Sunday, tying Brett Favre and Antonio Freeman for the most touchdowns by a quarterback and receiver in Packers franchise history.

• The big downside to Sunday’s victory was the injuries. Aaron Rodgers, playing with a left hamstring injury, suffered a right calf injury which even further limited his mobility. Green Eyes left the game briefly with injuries to one, possibly both, ankles, but was able to return to the game. (Handsome and tough as nails! *dreamy sigh*) Ty Montgomery was in some serious pain as doctors looked at his shoulder on the sidelines, but he continued to play. Tight end Jared Cook left with a bizarre-looking chest injury when he came down hard on an incompletion (turns out it was a lung contusion -- ow), but is expected to be ready next week. Plus Clay Matthews is playing essentially with one arm. All of the above should be able to play next week, but the battered-and-bruised state of the team continues to be worrying. 

• Those damn, dirty Seahawks are truly a Pete Carroll team. The way you can tell? As soon as they’re down, they start taking cheap shots, some of which included a facemask on Nelson, punching TJ Lang below the belt, taking a shot at Richard Rodgers’ head, and going after Cobb while Green Bay was in victory formation (see below). Said Cobb: “They’re just cheap. Bunch of front-runners. That’s Seattle, for you. That’s what they do. It was all over the field.” Preach, Green Eyes.

• And here’s Richard Sherman going after Davante Adams away from the play.

• And here’s Adams owning Sherman on Jeff Janis’ touchdown later in the game. So there.

• Here’s a scary stat about the Green Bay running game: Eddie Lacy still leads the Pack in rushing yards for the season … and he hasn’t played in the last eight games. Our quarterback has the second-most rushing yards for the season. Yikes. 

• Aaron’s line for the game: 18-of-23 for 246 yards, three touchdowns, no turnovers, and a 150.8 (!) passer rating. 

• We’ve talked before about how Mason Crosby is a really good tackler. He’s saved Green Bay’s bacon on more more than one kickoff return, and did so again on Sunday. Then he helped the guy up, too, because he’s sweet like that.

• Aaron Rodgers was signing autographs for fans to garner donations for the Salvation Army and matching all donations and he bought pizza for all the fans standing in line. Aww, quite the Santa Claus.

• Larry McCarren is a former Packers offensive lineman (nicknamed “The Rock”) who is now best known as a beloved local Packers sportscaster. Look at his finger. 

• Next up for Green Bay is Bears Week II. Don’t sleep on the Bears! Don’t get me wrong, they still suck -- they are the Bears, after all -- but we cannot afford a trap game right now.

• I’m also pretty annoyed at the Bears right now after they got my hopes up on Sunday when they took the Detroit Lions down to the wire. Chicago had a good chance at the game, getting the ball back with three minutes left, down three, with all three timeouts plus the two-minute warning, and yet couldn’t make anything happen and ended up turning the ball over on downs. AND I don’t even get to see Jay Cutler getting sacked and intercepted anymore, so I have absolutely no use for the Bears these days.

• If the playoffs started today, the Seahawks would be the only NFC team that also made the playoffs last year. 

• Le’Veon Bell!! Holy cow! The Pittsburgh Steelers running back had 236 rushing yards against the Buffalo Bills. Throw in his receiving yards, and he finished the day with 298 all-purpose yards -- 23 more than the entire Bills’ offense.

• The Oakland Raiders came back down to earth a bit on Thursday night after a terrible night from MVP-contending quarterback Derek Carr resulted in a 21-13 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs. Oakland head coach Jack del Rio was in no mood to be comforted by Andy Reid after the game.

Reid & Del Rio postgame pic.twitter.com/LSu6W6L7nY

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) December 9, 2016

• It’s been a rough season at the office for official Jeff Triplette and his crew. Here’s a “hands to the face” call he made … against Detroit Lions #60.

• So the Los Angeles Rams fired head coach Jeff Fisher one week after giving him a contract extension. Hmm, kind of have to wonder about that. Was a 4-8 record really worthy of a contract extension, but 4-9 so beyond the pale that they had to fire him? It seems like, I don’t know, maybe they should have just waited a week before making any contract decisions?

• This latest Rams loss was particularly hideous, though. They were down 42-0 -- in the third quarter!! The Atlanta Falcons scored six touchdowns in the Rams’ stadium on Sunday, which is one more than the Rams have scored there all year.

• Speaking of truly pitiful teams, the Cleveland Browns still have not won a game this season. Next week will be the one-year anniversary of their last victory.

• Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill left Sunday’s game with a knee injury that was originally feared to be an ACL tear. Fortunately, it’s a ACL and MCL sprain that won’t require surgery. (Whew!) Maybe the injury accounts for this atrocious passing attempt?

• I love watching teams expertly down punts and kicks just outside the goalline. It’s a totally underrated highlight, in my opinion. Here’s a video of Tampa Bay’s Ryan Smith downing the ball at about the one-inch line while keeping his tippy toes just outside the endzone and tossing the ball to a teammate behind him. I like the freeze-frame even better.

• What’s up with Drew Brees? Three interceptions and zero touchdowns two weeks in a row. 

• A grateful nation rejoices after the New York Giants stopped the Dallas’ Cowboys win streak on Sunday night. New York squeaked out a 10-7 win, despite having this man at quarterback.

• The Giants defense was all over the Cowboys, allowing quarterback Dak Prescott to complete just 46% of his passes, forcing two turnovers, and sacking him thrice. In true Dallas Cowboys fans’ fashion, there were even some whispers of “Tony Romo.” EVERYBODY PANIC!

• The Cowboys are still 10-2, but both their losses have now come at the hands of the Giants who are again, led by this man.

i regret making this, but you all deserve it pic.twitter.com/IqUL6AJ92P

— Matthew Henderson (@mhenderson95) December 12, 2016

• The 9-4 New York Giants will face the 9-4 Detroit Lions next week, which means I’ll have to cheer for the Giants for a second week. (Saying that triggers my gag reflex.) 

• I don’t really think anyone can fault the Denver Broncos for going after Tennessee Titans’ receiver Harry Douglas after Douglas intentionally put his helmet into the knee of Broncos’ cornerback Chris Harris Jr. Since it was on a running play, Douglas maintains that the hit was a legal cut block, but that doesn’t explain why he’s hitting someone’s knee when he’s across the field from where the action is. “I’m not a dirty player, no matter what anybody says,” Douglas said, which is the equivalent of “At least my mother loves me” in terms of having no argument on which to stand.

• The Philadelphia Eagles’ long snapper (who is also an amazing magician who placed third on America’s Got Talent) got injured, so tight end Brent Celek was called up. He was not good. And he later got injured in the game, so the Eagles had “no idea” who would be long-snapping (is that a verb?) the ball for the rest of the game. Tight end Trey Burton stepped up and had to be the emergency backup to the emergency backup long snapper. Burton successfully snapped the ball on a made field goal, so yay for him! (Also, major props to the punter, who’s also the holder, who managed to take the snap that ended up nearly behind his helmet and get it down for the kicker. He’s the real hero of this story, but the emergency-backup-to-the-emergency-backup plot line sounds better.)

• In an interview last week, Derek Carr was asked about Johnny Manziel. Carr said Manziel was "such a good dude" and hoped he got things turned around. He said he'd love to "be a friend" to Manziel, and now I've put all my hope for Manziel in Carr's hands. If anyone can save Johnny Football, it's Carr! (I hope.)

Aww! I'm actually really touched by this.

• Phil Simms was in peak form on Sunday.

• One of the fake “problems” that NFL sportswriters have invented over which to wring their hands is the Pro Bowl not being competitive. Every year, there are anguished columns written about how the game should be done away with. (The solution? Don’t watch it if you don’t want to watch it.) The game is still on for this year, but the NFL just announced a skills competition that will be a part of the festivities, which should make a lot of people happy. The competition will feature a precision passing contest, a “best hands” contest featuring the best passer and receiver on each team, and … a dodgeball competition! That actually sounds like it could be fun.

• Green Bay's at 7-6 and still has a good shot at the playoffs. They just need to win their last three games and for Detroit to drop at least one of their next two. Totally doable. I believe! Who's with me? Can I get a high five!? Anyone?

We, Um, Might Need to Talk About Aaron Rodgers

• The Green Bay Packers 30-16 loss to the Dallas Cowboys was not pretty. At all. From the Packers giving up their first opening drive touchdown to the Cowboys putting up more rushing yards than the Packers have allowed in the previous four games combined to the increasingly normal impotence of the offense, it was a rough day for the Green and Gold.

Ugh and you just know that, somewhere, Jerry Jones
was grinning like the creepy emperor from Star Wars.

• As much as I like to blame all passing game ills on Davante Adams and Richard Rodgers, the truth is Aaron Rodgers is obviously struggling. Set aside any drops by the receivers, any bad play-calling, and Rodgers is still just missing things he very rarely misses. His interception into the guy of Barry Church was a perfect example of Rodgers, whose field vision is usually spectacular, failing to see Church coming off the outside receiver.

• And while I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED, and I’m sure Aaron will get out of his slump soon, and I don’t want to pile on to the guy, I also have to admit that I’m less than impressed with his attitude. He seemed to think he only had a couple of bad throws. Said Rodgers: 

We were close tonight. I missed a couple, possibly the one to [Richard] Rodgers down the middle, and I obviously threw it right to Barry [Church]... Other than that, I mean, there were multiple times when we had to extend plays because guys weren’t open on the normal timing or even slightly later than normal timing.

• Are those really the only times you can think of, Aaron? Not throwing a sure-touchdown six feet too high to Cobb? Or leading Jordy Nelson into crossing defenders? I understand you’re not getting the help you need from your receivers or your playcalls, but I’m going to need a little more abjection from you than a dismissive, “I gotta play better, for sure.”

More like this.

• I’ll say the same thing to Mike McCarthy as I said all of last season: “DO SOMETHING!!!!” Now, to his credit, he’s using more personnel, working in receivers Ty Montgomery, Trevor Davis, and Jeff Janis. But he’s still not doing a whole lot to help those receivers as far as pre-snap formations, picks, or creative routes. After Nelson and Cobb, there’s little evidence to believe that the Green Bay receivers can out-and-out win individual match-ups. That makes it easy for teams to focus on Jordy and Randall since neither Adams nor Montgomery nor Janis nor Rodgers nor anyone else has proven that he warrants extra defensive attention.

This is not the facial expression of defensive coordinators who play the Packers.

• The ailing Green Bay secondary did not help matters. Already without top corner Sam Shields, the Packers lost Quinten Rollins and Damarious Randall. This propelled LaDarius Gunter into the lineup, who is, uh, let's just say not ready for prime time. The coaches are (were?) high on Gunter last season and I’m certainly not going to give up on him, but he was absolutely undressed on nearly every single snap he played. 

• I remain very worried about Shields. I love him, but he needs to retire. Shields has been out with yet another concussion since Week 1 and he needs to start thinking about himself and his long-term health. It’d leave Green Bay up a creek, though. Maybe we can lure Casey Hayward back from the San Diego Chargers at a much-reduced contract. Think he’ll go for it?

Remember all the good times, Case!

• Eddie Lacy came to play, injured ankle and all. He only finished with 65 yards, but ripped off a couple of nice and surprisingly agile runs. What in the sam hill was McCarthy thinking, though, going into a game with an injured running back and no backup??

• Yes, James Starks was out with an injury. Try to contain your surprise. Mr. Glass really wore himself out averaging 2.8 yards per carry last week and suffered a knee injury. It’s rumored that Starks tore his meniscus and underwent surgery this week. He is not expected back for a few weeks at least. So I guess that leaves Green Bay with no healthy running back and two days until the next game. Here’s hoping McCarthy decides to pick up a running back really soon. Like, today.

I'm sorry, James, for real. I hope you recover
quickly and find a nice home on some other team.

• Green Eyes did notch a touchdown, his first of the season. The even worse stat is that it was just Rodgers’ first second-half touchdown of the season.

• Besides Lacy, the only real positive was Montgomery. He didn’t have a spectacular game, but had over 100 all purpose yards and got some good reps in.

• It was another rough week for Jordy. He had five catches for 68 yards, but coughed up a fumble for just the second time in his career. 

Don't worry, boo. We'll get 'em Thursday.

• The biggest downer was the four turnovers. How can you win a game with four turnovers?! On the season, the Packers’ turnover differential, which is my favorite stat, is a dismal -3. 

• One thing to look forward to is Tony Romo being able to return pretty soon. Jerry Jones, right on cue, has chimed in that Romo is totally healed and just needs to get back in shape. Jones has recently backed off his previously unwavering support for Romo to regain his starting job once healthy.

• I keep going back and forth on the Pittsburgh Steelers, but I think they’re not good. They beat the Washington Redskins, who aren’t terrible. They beat the Cincinnati Bengals, who are terrible (2-4). They got trounced by the Philadelphia Eagles, then beat the Kansas City Chiefs who are so unthreatening that I’m not going to even bother looking up their record. (Fine, it’s 3-2.) Then they beat the New York Jets, who are no good (1-5), and then lost to the Miami Dolphins (2-4) this week! Even if they weren’t bad before, they certainly will be now that Ben Roethlisberger is out for at least a few games with a torn meniscus that required surgery.

• Rough, rough no-call on Richard Sherman’s obvious pass interference that stole the game from the Atlanta Falcons. 

• Why is it that the Seattle Seahawks are always, always on the winning end of bad calls?? No wonder Pete Carroll is so smug all the time.

• Tom Brady is now 49-1 at home against AFC opponents since 2007. Insane.

• Check out this Vernon Davis touchdown. Watch it again. Did you see that egregious touchdown celebration?!?! Davis’ jump shot cost his team 15 yards for “excessive celebration” since he used the ball as a prop.

• I hate that I have an opinion on this, but I really prefer Carrie Underwood’s old SNF opening.

• Vontaze Burfict is the dirtiest player in the league and needs to be suspended every single time he gets a personal foul from now on. It’s what he’s known for and he does this crap week in and week out.
• Here he is trying to injure Martellus Bennett:

Vontaze Burfict going low on Bennett. Seemed unnecessary but what do I know. #Patriots pic.twitter.com/4DWnqa76TD

— Will D. (@WAD1980) October 16, 2016

• And here he is intentionally stepping on a New England Patriots player:

Video: From coaches film (courtesy NFL), watch Vontaze Burfict (55) deliberately step on Blount's leg after TD. pic.twitter.com/wtTPqy3XHP

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 17, 2016

• Ugh the worst sounding injury and the one that makes my skin crawl just hearing it is “lacerated kidney.” The Chargers’ Keenan Allen had one a couple of years ago, Andrew Luck dealt with that last year, and now Cleveland Browns safety Jordan Poyer looks to be out the rest of the year with the same.

• If your job were printing players’ names on their jerseys, wouldn’t you check the spelling before signing off on a jersey for someone named Prince Amukamara?

• The NFL is a mean and petty little tyrant. The league has declared that teams can no longer post their own highlights on their social media channels. Some teams, like the Eagles and the Browns, mocked the NFL by posting claymation-type videos of their highlights, which, hilariously, have now been pulled.

• Goodness gracious, the Indianapolis Colts had a 14 point lead with three minutes left and somehow lost! Much sympathy has been sent Andrew Luck’s way as the quarterback tries and tries to lift his dismal team out of the muck. One person who doesn’t have sympathy for Luck is Ryan Grigson, the Colts’ general manager. Grigson, defending himself against the charges of completely failing to put any talent around his #1 pick, blamed Luck’s contract, saying, "Once you pay Andrew what we did, it’s going to take some time to build on the other side of the ball.” Sorry, but uh-uh, Ryan. First off, boo-hoo, it’s so tough having had the top pick in the draft! Second, other teams have the salary cap, too. Other teams have quarterbacks with huge contracts, too, and they manage to pick better players than you have. Luck, for his part, continues to be entirely endearing and refuses to blame his horrible offensive line.

• Apparently, things are no good between Houston Texans head coach Bill O’Brien and quarterback Brock Osweiler, who reportedly had a blow up at a team meeting last week. It’s hardly a surprise considering their mail-order bride courtship, but Houston sportswriters must be tripping over themselves to write their “Houston, We Have a Problem” headlines.

"Whaddya mean it's been used? This is gold, I tells ya!"

• Ugghh the LA Rams not only lost to the Detroit Lions, but they also pulled my least favorite move during Detroit’s victory formation, injuring the Lions center and nearly injuring the quarterback. Nothing says low-class losers like trying to injure opponents after the game is over. I hate, hate, hate this bush league move. 

• I have to end with some devastating news: Green Eyes is engaged and, no, not to me. It’s a tough time, but I just want him to be happy.

We'll always have my near-constant Google Image searches of you.