Finally, a Win!

• Whew, thank goodness for the Green Bay Packers’ win over the Minnesota Vikings! Not only did the victory end a three-game slide for Green Bay, but also allowed them to regain the division lead from Minnesota.

• The Packers defense was excellent, allowing only 13 points, sacking Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater six times (after 39 consecutive drives without a sack!), and holding the best running back in the league to 45 yards on 13 carries! They also forced a Adrian Peterson fumble.

• The offense looked much better, as well. They were much closer to finding and maintaining a rhythm on several drives. Most importantly, they finally let Eddie Lacy out of the doghouse, and he found his legs to the tune of 100 yards. I’m soooooooooooooo glad! James Starks is very nice, I’m sure, but you all must know by now that I am not a believer in him as a starter.

Don't leave us again!

• Though the win was huge, the Packers’ offensive issues were still apparent. Aaron Rodgers completed only 47% of his passes (he seemed to overthrow several), Randall Cobb caught only two of his nine targets, and they only got into the redzone twice. Rodgers did, however, look downfield more, which is a good thing, even if it didn’t work out a lot this game. His low completion percentage might just be a tradeoff he and the team has to live with in order to get the defensive looks they want.

• The MVP of the game was Mason Crosby, who bounced back from whiffing the would-be winning kick last week to hit field goals of 42, 47, 40, 42, and 52 yards.

(His arms look photoshopped here.)

• Crosby was not only perfect on Sunday, but he also drew a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty from Vikings returner Cordarrelle Patterson, who, for no reason at all, got in Crosby’s face after a kick return.

Hey, you leave Mason alone! He didn't do anything to you!
Also, fix your visor -- you look like an idiot.

• Coming into the game, center Corey Linsley was the only offensive lineman who was not listed on the injury report. So of course he injured his ankle in Sunday's game and did not return. Additionally, safety Micah Hyde re-injured his hip and was carted off the field. Receivers Jared Abbrederis and Ty Montgomery were already out for the game.

• I don't care what his official profiel says, Green Bay tight end Justin Perillo ain’t no 25 years old.

• James Jones had a big drop in the first half, but came back with two incredible catches on the second half touchdown drive. It was a great drive for Rodgers and Jones.

• First was this awesome, bobbling catch for 37 yards. Look at the effort to control the ball and establish possession before he hits the turf!

• Then Jones made sure to keep his feet inbounds on this touchdown.

• And then JJ was there when Aaron needed him on the two-point conversion.

• Jones also garnered a lot of attention for his hoodie which shockingly -- for a league that fines players for wearing the wrong color socks -- was legal.

Jordy was a fan.

• In other uniform news, I still love Minnesota's matte helmets. Very chic.

• But I still hate their pants and can’t understand why companies whose job it is to make football uniforms haven’t come up with a better white pants pattern.

You're telling me you can't make a pair of white
football pants that don't include a built-in diaper??

• Poor Joe Flacco! The Baltimore Ravens quarterback, who has never missed a game in his career before, tore his ACL and is out for the season. (Flacco crazily stayed in the game for the final 50 seconds after his injury.) The Ravens also lost their running back, Justin Forsett, for the season to a broken arm. I do feel bad for Baltimore, but I also hate the Ravens, so my empathy mostly insincere.

• The Ravens’ backup is --- AHHHH!! --- Matt Schaub!! Watching Schaub’s jaw-droppingly fast and brutal free fall a couple of years ago was stunning and sad. I’m kinda secretly excited he has a chance to play again and am really, really rooting for him not to be terrible.

In his last season with the Texans, Schaub threw 10 TDs and 14 INTs,
and set an NFL record by throwing pick-sixes in 4 consecutive games.

• I was about to feel bad for St. Louis Rams quarterback Nick Foles, who was demoted this week, but then I saw that he has six interceptions and five fumbles to seven touchdowns on the season, so that’s actually pretty fair.

• It’s absolutely unconscionable that the Rams left backup quarterback Case Keenum in the game when he was obviously suffering from a concussion. Teams are supposed to all have independent observers to look specifically for players who might have suffered a concussion and tell teams to pull those players out for an evaluation. In the case of Keenum, he is tackled, and his head slams violently against the turf. He immediately grabs his head in pain. His teammate tries to force his limp body up, but Keenum collapses right back to the turf. The Rams have to expect some kind of penalty from a league that is trying desperately to show they take concussions seriously.

• The Indianapolis Colts won! They came back to beat the Atlanta Falcons, who struggled mightily, turning the ball over four times. Indy quarterback Andrew Luck is out again due to injury, meaning 40-year-old backup Matt Hasselbeck was back leading the team. In case you haven’t noticed, I am so on the Matt Hasselbeck bandwagon.

He just seems so sweet and nice and hardworking and likable!

• Do you know what would be really awkward? Having to dispute reports that your defensive coordinator was fired when everyone knows he’s just about to be fired, as New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton had to do last Monday. Doubly awkward when said defensive coordinator follows up his firing with a Hurricane Katrina joke. Oh, that Rob Ryan. Such a charmer.

• Now, I’m not saying that the New England Patriots aren’t good; I’m just saying that only one of the 10 teams they’ve beat thus far currently has a winning record. And I’m not saying that they deserve to go 16-0; I’m just saying that if you exclude the Denver Broncos (who now have a question mark at quarterback), the combined record of the rest of the teams they’ll face this season is 20-30.

• The same actually holds true for the league’s other undefeated team, the Carolina Panthers -- the Packers are the only team they’ve beaten who currently have a winning record. They face a tougher schedule than the Patriots, since their remaining slate features the 6-4 Atlanta Falcons twice. Even with the Falcons, their remaining opponents have a combined record of 29-31.

• Sunday night’s game between the Arizona Cardinals and the Cincinnati Bengals featured a pretty exciting second half. Cincinnati came back from down 14 to kick a game-tying field goal with 1:03 left. Arizona got the ball back, and have three huge completions to get into field goal range. Arizona lined up for a 46-yard field goal, but jumped offsides! Not only is that a five-yard penalty, but it also comes with a 10-second runoff when in the final two minutes of a game. That meant the clock ran out before the Cardinals could kick, sending the game into overtime. Well, that’s what it would have meant if the Bengals hadn’t been called for unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for simulating the snap count. That moved the Cardinals up, and they kicked an easy 32-yard field goal for the win.

Bengals WR AJ Green's reaction as Arizona kicked the winning field goal.

• I had never heard that penalty called before. Why is it unsportsmanlike for the defensive to dummycall but not the offense? In both cases, aren’t you trying to trick the opponent?

• Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo returned from a broken collarbone injury to lead his team to victory over the Miami Dolphins. The Cowboys went 0-7 in Romo’s absence, and will need to win out (or at least close to it, considering how terrible their division is) to make the playoffs. I, for one, was very happy to see Romo back and the Cowboys win. I really, really enjoy watching Dallas fans get their hopes up.

This will be me.
In December.
Laughing at Cowboys fans.

• Jerry Jones spoke with the media about the recent meeting he had with defensive end Greg Hardy’s conduct, and, as always, some wonderful Jerry quotes were the result.
• “He is aware that everything he does -- his personality, his style, his enthusiasm -- it's all going to be interpreted negatively. If he's not aware of that, then he's hurting a lot of people.” So he’s definitely aware, but he might not be aware.
• “I think he really gets that. We certainly feel that way. He understands it, and he has agreed to really work on it." Good for Greg for agreeing to work on not hitting women and not being flippant about his punishment for hitting women.
• Jones said he’ll use his own experience with criticism to help Hardy: “If anyone knows how to hunker down, it's me." Not really relevant or comparable, but okay.
• “I will say this: over the last three or four weeks, I would hate to see anybody who had more pressure on him than Hardy." Putting aside the terrible sentence structure, Jones fishing for sympathy for Hardy is not going to be very effective.
• “But there is no second chance in regards to the issue of domestic violence. None.” Presumably Jerry means after the second chance they gave Hardy in signing him.

• Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch missed Sunday’s game against the San Francisco 49ers due to an abdomen injury. (There’s some concern he could miss the rest of the season.) Backup Thomas Rawls played in Lynch’s stead and ran for 209 yards and scored two touchdowns! Lynch approved of Rawls’ play:

• The Carolina Panthers are 10-0. The Dallas Cowboys are 3-7. And yet, the Cowboys are favored in the Thanksgiving matchup??

• Denver now-starting quarterback Brock Osweiler is 6’8”!!!

• It’s a short week for the Packers, who will play Thursday night, but luckily, they’ll face Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears, so we’ll have a lot of this to look forward to:

• And this:

• And hopefully some of this:

• It must kill Jordy to miss a game against the Bears. You can usually just pencil him in for a couple of 60+ yard touchdowns when he’s facing Chicago.

De-fense! De-fense!!

• Holy cheeseheads, Batman, what a stand by the Green Bay Packers defense against the San Diego Chargers!! With Green Bay up 27-20 and 2:37 left on the clock, the Chargers started their final drive, needing a touchdown to tie the game. They picked up seven (!) first downs with almost no trouble at all, bringing them all the way to Green Bay’s 3-yard line with 33 seconds to go. On first down, Chargers running back Danny Woodhead picked up one yard, bringing up 2nd-and-2. Next, San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers threw an incomplete pass to Antonio Gates. Third down, Datone Jones tackled Woodhead for a loss of one yard. It’s 4th-and-3 with 20 seconds left; San Diego’s last chance to force overtime. Rivers takes the snap, sees Woodhead just inside the endzone on the far right of the field and throws to Woodhead … and rookie cornerback Damarious Randall swoops in and knocks it down! Packers win!! Still undefeated!!

• I’d had a lot of unflattering comments prepared for the Green Bay Packers defense, but after their game-winning stand, I shall forego my criticisms.

• Well, most of my criticisms. 503 yards, guys!?! Philip Rivers is a really, really good quarterback, but 503 passing yards for a quarterback in a non-overtime game?! Before this week, the Packers defense was allowing an average of 186 passing yards per game. Now their average is something like 240 -- one game increased their passing yards allowed by 50 yards. Ugh. Rivers threw 65 times! The Chargers had 32 first downs (to Green Bay’s 17)! At one point, my brother texted me that San Diego was 27-for-26 on first downs -- it certainly felt that way. But I’ll stop here because the defense held at the very, very end.

• Maybe Rivers got some extra tips from the sisters last week about breaking down Green Bay’s defense.

Oddly enough, that's the second nuns-at-a-sporting-event pic I've seen this week.

• The Packers defense was rough, but the offense wasn’t much to write home about either. After jumping out to an early 17-3 lead, Green Bay had a confidence-shaking three consecutive three-and-outs before scoring a touchdown at the end of the third quarter. (Followed by another three-and-out.) It’s definitely not what fans are used to seeing. As I keep saying, the offense has changed a lot more than many realize without Jordy Nelson. You know what doesn’t help? Losing Nelson’s backup, Davante Adams, to an ankle injury that has kept him out the last three weeks. You know what really doesn’t help? Losing Adams’ backup, Ty Montgomery, to an ankle injury against the Chargers.

• Montgomery’s injury led to the appearance of perhaps the whitest lineup in the league, with Jeff Janis and Jared Abbrederis stepping in, along with tight end Justin Perillo.

• I owe some love to James Starks. With Starks playing well and Eddie Lacy banged up, Starks got the start and most of the carries. He took advantage of his opportunities to the tune of 117 yards and two touchdowns. I always have to say nice things about James when he plays well because I’m usually pretty mean to him about his always being injured.

Good job, buddy! Be careful!

• I do not like these alternate throwbacks. They’re ugly and make me think of Michigan.

• I don’t understand why, but many people don’t like the Packers usual throwback jerseys. I, for one, love them. They were even cooler when they came with the brown helmets, but the No Fun League put a stop to that a couple of seasons ago.

See? So much cooler.

• As I’ve said before, I’m never happy when any player gets injured. That said, I sure was relieved when San Diego receiver Keenan Allen left the game with a hip injury, which was apparently the only thing that could stop him, as the Green Bay defense certainly wasn’t able to. His injury came shortly after the half, by which time he had already racked up 157 yards!

He had 14 receptions on 15 targets.

• I concur with Mike McCarthy’s criticism of the officiating. For being the most flag-happy crew in the league, the officials sure let the Chargers defensive backs get away with some really blatant holds and pass interference.

• What is there to say about James Jones? Seriously, all he does is catch touchdowns. He has six on the year, tied with Larry Fitzgerald and Tyler Eifert for tops in the league.

• Jordy Nelson, who tore his ACL in the preseason, has not missed a single meeting or practice all year. Aww, he’s so dedicated and committed and hardworking and perfect in every way! Except that he's decided to grow a beard. Not a fan.

Why would you want to hide this beautiful face?

• No one wanted to win the Chicago Bears-Detroit Lions game. The Lions had a great drive that ended in a fantastic Calvin Johnson touchdown with 21 seconds left that put them up by three points. What followed was the easiest, most laid-back game-tying drive I’ve ever seen. Chicago didn’t even look like they were trying. And Detroit definitely looked like they weren’t trying. Chicago got a 25-yard completion, then got a pass interference call for 24 yards, then got another pass interference call for 20 yards, and then kicked an easy field goal to tie. They weren't even hurrying!

The most apathetic game-tying drive from the most apathetic athlete in America.

• Even when the game went into overtime, neither team seemed particularly interested in winning. Here’s the possession chart from overtime. Overtime!

• Detroit did finally win the game, their first win of the season (we’ll keep an asterisk on their record for the Seattle game). They should have known their fortunes were going to turn when there was a “process of the catch” situation that came up and they weren’t on the losing side. Here’s what happened: Lions receiver Golden Tate caught the ball just outside the goal line, turned, crossed the goal line (taking one step), was hit, the ball flew out and landed in the hands of a waiting Bears defender.

• Though it looked like Tate did not finish the process of the catch -- going by the way the league has called it in the past -- the refs called it a touchdown and let it stand. I really, really think if the alternative hadn’t been an interception -- if it would have been an incomplete instead of a touchdown -- the refs would have said he didn’t complete the process of the catch. But how do you not only deny a team a touchdown on an iffy, controversial rule (that has screwed that same team over before multiple times in huge, game-deciding moments), but then actually give the ball to the other team? I honestly think the officials just couldn’t bring themselves to do it.

• Here’s what Dean Blandino, VP of NFL Officiating had to say:

• A couple of points:

1. Both Calvin Johnson and Dez Bryant took two steps, so it makes no sense for Dean to say two steps establishes a player as a runner. Also, Tate didn't take two steps, per se; he landed on one foot, and took a step with the other.
2. That’s what Dean Blandino looks like?!?! I never imagined him so young … or so sleazy-looking. One reddit user perfectly described him, saying he looks like a “struggling club promoter.” Yep, that’s the kind of guy you don’t let buy you a drink.

• It must be something about Golden Tate that the refs can’t say no to.

• Football fans everywhere loathe the “process of the catch” rule, and if they’re not going to call it, maybe it’s time the rule is changed. Now, I know this won’t make me popular, but let me say a word in defense of the rule: if a player just needs to have two feet down, just think of situations where a player catches the ball in the air, lands, is immediately hit by a defender, and the ball pops out. That happens usually at least a few times in a game. If the “process of the catch” rule is changed, then all those instances are fumbles, which would be its own controversy. The rule stinks, but I don’t know if I much like the alternative.

"Shut up, you stupid blogger! You know nothing!"

• Detroit quarterback Matthew Stafford, who was benched last week, threw for 405 yards and four touchdowns in the win, thus finally rewarding my steadfast loyalty.

• This is terrifying. Last week, Jacksonville Jaguars running back Bernard Pierce made an odd play on a punt return: he started blocking for the other team. After the game, Pierce experienced concussion symptoms, which is presumably what led to that play. Pierce himself could offer no explanation as to what happened. You can see him start to block at the very beginning of this video, between the 45- and 50-yard lines.

• I’m trying to figure out what exactly Directv was thinking with their new ad campaign. The premise is that a horrible, moronic cable company knows it can’t compete with the amazing Directv, so it merges with another horrible, moronic cable company. The thing is that Directv is known for its price gouging and horrible customer service, and it’s in the news for its recent merger with AT&T (another company with dismal customer satisfaction), so every time I see one of those commercials, all it makes me think of is how horrible Directv is. Not sure if that’s what they were going for.

• Just watch Baltimore Ravens kicker Justin Tucker’s plant leg on the turf at the San Francisco 49ers’ Levi’s Stadium. No surprise, Tucker missed the field goal that would have cut a six-point deficit to three.

• This is the field where the Super Bowl will be played this year, by the way.

• The Seattle Seahawks have lost four games in which they were leading in the fourth quarter. They won one when the refs robbed the Lions (would have been another loss after leading in the fourth), and then they won one game against the Jimmy Clausen-led Chicago Bears.

• I was glad to see that the Arizona Cardinals lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers because a) things are more interesting when dominant teams lose, and b) I’m scared of them and it’s reassuring seeing them lose.

• You have probably seen the Indianapolis Colts’ attempted fake punt against the New England Patriots. It was …. ill-advised. The Colts presented this funky lineup late in the third quarter, with all their players to the right of the ball, hoping to confuse the Patriots into an offsides or encroachment penalty.

• It, uh, didn’t work.

• The Atlanta Falcons lost to the New Orleans Saints on Thursday night, which still leaves an incredible five undefeated teams. (That’s a lot for Week 6, isn’t it? It feels like a lot.) Also, they all start with Bs or Ps: Broncos, Bengals, Patriots, Panthers, and Packers. Just so you know. Three of those teams have byes next week, so there will be at least three undefeated teams going into Week 8. Two of those three teams -- the Packers and the Broncos! Eek! -- will play in Week 8.  

• Peyton Manning’s spiraling play on the field does make me feel a little better about Week 8. (The Denver defense does not.) Peyton has stolen Eli Manning’s familiar throne as the league leader in interceptions, throwing three in a tight, overtime win against the Cleveland Browns.

That definitely calls for the Manning Face.

• So who exactly is the Pittsburgh Steelers' quarterback? Ben Roethlisberger has an MCL sprain, but hasn’t been ruled out for next week; Michael Vick is injured/benched?; and third-year quarterback Landry Jones played in his first NFL game on Sunday after Vick was pulled and led his team to a win over one of the best defenses in the league.

Jones said he wasn't expecting to play, and it showed in the
sartorial choices he made when packing his bag that morning. 

• I don’t like the Philadelphia Eagles, but I was glad to see them beat the New York Giants because 1) their all-black alternate uniforms looked cool; 2) it’s always good to see Eli lose; and 3) I will NOT have the Giants pull another one of these we-really-stink-but-we’re-in-a-crappy-division-so-we’ll-just-coast-under-the-radar-being-terrible-then-sneak-into-the-playoffs-and-then-something-totally-BS-will-happen-and-we’ll-go-way-too-far-and-maybe-even-win-it-all-in-a-ridiculous-fashion moves that they’re always doing.

This is the face of a man who knows he does not
deserve to have two Super Bowl rings. 

• Let’s all cleanse our visual palettes as we head into a boring week without Packer football:

Maybe I'll just spend next Sunday watch Jordy clips.

Still Perfect

• Aaron Rodgers’ streak of no interceptions at Lambeau Field finally came to an end on Sunday, which isn’t surprising considering the way the announcers have been hardcore trying to jinx him the last few weeks by bringing it up every two seconds. The streak lasted almost THREE calendar years and included 49 touchdowns and 586 pass attempts. And of course it came on a tipped pass.

• Rodgers decided to get it all out of his system and threw a second interception to the St. Louis Rams. It’s been five calendar years since that last happened at Lambeau.

• I hate to be a downer when the Green Bay Packers are 5-0, but Packers fans might have to get used to interceptions from Rodgers. Without Sideline Ninja to threaten the deep pass, defenders are able to sit on routes like Trumaine Johnson did on Rodgers’ second interceptions.

He ain't there to be eye candy... Well, he's not there
just to be eye candy.

• Datone Jones saved the Pack three points when he blocked a St. Louis field goal -- something he’s done in every single one of his seasons since 11th grade.

• Rookie cornerback Quinten Rollins got his first TWO career interceptions, including one returned for a touchdown.

The rarely see defensive rookie Lambeau Leap! It, er, needs a little work.

• Whoa, the defensive line looked good! So many strong performances -- Mike Daniels, Clay Matthews, BJ Raji, Jayrone Elliott. They made life tough for Rams quarterback Nick Foles, notching three sacks and 12 quarterback hits!

• My boy Sammy Shields also had a big day, breaking up several big plays.

• The injuries seemed to pile up, first losing right guard TJ Lang to a knee injury, linebacker Nick Perry to a shoulder injury, and nose tackle BJ Raji to a groin injury. The good news is that neither Lang’s nor Raji’s looks to be serious, but no word yet on Perry, who has had a previous injury on that shoulder.

• What an effort by JJ to keep his knees from touching the ground as he stretched out for his touchdown! I was glad to hear the announcers giving James Jones some love for this. This is beeeaaa-utiful.

• We need better tight ends.  

• Do you think this man’s only job is wiping off players’ visors? I wonder how I could apply for that job. It seems the perfect marriage of my desire to work with the Packers and my relevant skills.

• There was some sad news on Packers defensive back Sean Richardson this week. Richardson is done for the season after suffering a second major neck injury. This could very likely be the end of his career. Just retire and stay safe, buddy! If this does indeed end his career, that would make him the fourth Packer who suffered the same fate in recent years, along with Nick Collins, Jermichael Finley, and James Franklin.

• It was a good week for the draft of 1998.

Well, except for for Ryan Leaf. It's probably never a good week for Ryan Leaf.

• Charles Woodson (sigh) turned 39 earlier this week, and said all he wanted for his birthday was to intercept Peyton Manning. Woodson and Manning came into the league together and, after 18 years playing, Woodson had never managed to pick off Peyton … until Sunday! CHARLES WOODSON GOT HIS INTERCEPTION OF PEYTON!! NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE!!! WOOOO HOOOOOO!!!! Woodson is now 6th all-time in NFL history in career interceptions. Yay, Charles! IloveyoupleaseretireaPacker.

• You know who the only other man standing from the 1998 draft is? Mr. Matt. Hasselbeck. I mentioned last week how I’ve always had a soft spot for the former Green Bay backup QB and current Indianapolis Colts backup, who is universally liked around the league, and this week was a little more evidence as to why. Hasselbeck wasn’t feeling great before last week’s game. He started throwing up at halftime, completed -- and won -- the game, but continued to get worse. He ended up in the ER in the wee hours of Monday morning for a bacterial infection, missed all but one practice, and was receiving daily IVs, trying to get ready for on a short week (Yay Thursday Night Football). He kinda had to since starting quarterback Andrew Luck was close, but not quite ready to return from a shoulder injury (Yay Thursday Night Football). Hasselbeck balled out, as the cool people say, and led his team to a 27-20 victory over the division rival Houston Texans. Hasselbeck was 18-of-29 for 213 yards, two touchdowns, zero interceptions, zero sacks and a 107.4 passer rating.

Hasselbeck's brother tweeted this before the game. Awwwww.

• Colts head coach Chuck Pagano on Hasselbeck: “He was literally on his deathbed Monday and Tuesday.” [Side rant: I was going to hyperlink the above quote from Pagano to the dictionary definition of “literally” to snarkily point out his misuse of the word when I discovered, to my shock and horror, that both Dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster.com list “virtually” as an accepted definition for literally. Sorry, English Language; you had a good run.]

• As happy as I am for Matt Hasselbeck and the Colts, I do kinda feel for the 1-4 Texans. They had more yards, more first downs, more yards per play, more plays, and more time of possession, but also had more turnovers (2-0, including one in the last two minutes of the game) and more penalty yards (125!).

Poor JJ. Poor talented, millionaire JJ.

• What is Bill O’Brien doing in Houston? I know you have two backup quarterbacks and are forced to start one, but for the love, just stick with one! Brian Hoyer was named the starter, then was benched before the end of the first game. Ryan Mallett took over, playing Weeks 2, 3, and 4, the final in which he was benched/pulled during a blowout for Hoyer. Mallett started Thursday night’s game, got the wind knocked out of him and had sit down. Hoyer came in, played well, and stayed in, leaving Mallett to sulk on the sideline. Now O’Brien has named Hoyer the starter for Week 6, and they’ll “go from there.”

This won't have any negative effect on the team, I'm sure.

• I don’t think I could outbid Ford Motors, but I would seriously consider paying Denis Leary out of my own pocket to make him stop doing commercial voiceovers.

• A walk-off pick-six might be the most fun way to win a game. The Atlanta Falcons beat a surprisingly pesky Washington Redskins team by intercepting Kirk Cousins in overtime and returning it 59 yards for the game.

• Seattle lost in overtime on a banked-in field goal from the Cincinnati Bengals after leading by 17 points in the fourth quarter. Hah.

• This is so sad! New York Giants tight end Daniel Fells is in danger of having to have his foot amputated because of a dangerous staph infection. (The Giants can look to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as an example of how not to handle this situation.) Get better soon, Daniel!

• Coaches need to tell their players to stop doing flips into the endzone. It’s so stupid to risk injury that way. It drives me crazy!

• “I can’t believe he did that -- actually, it’s Brandon Weeden. I can believe it.”

• The 1-4 Baltimore Ravens have now lost four games this season after leading in the fourth quarter.

• The Cleveland Browns’ Gary Barnidge wins for the craziest catch I’ve ever seen.

• Finally, after all the scandals of recent years, deflategate, and the controversial calls, the NFL really has a record they can be proud of.

• Well done, gentlemen.

• Oh, but wait. On the last day of the month, a Titans rookie came through and got himself arrested over a parking ticket. Amazing. The streak continues.

• Gosh, Greg Hardy is dumb. After missing all of last season and the first four games of this season due to an domestic violence incident, Hardy had one of the mind-boggling interviews I've ever seen. Many are upset over Hardy using the phrase “come out guns blazing” to describe how he was approaching his return, since the incident for which he was suspended involved throwing his girlfriend on a pile of guns and choking her. I have to say, however, that’s one of the less offensive things he said. Some of his gems include calling his suspension “the most awesome period of [his] life,” and talking about how hot his opponents’ wives are. Glad Greg learned his lesson.

• Headline: “Jay Cutler says he'll tough it out for injury-ravaged Bears.”

Teammates say, "Don't do us any favors, Jay. Please."

• What the heck, Chicago? The Bears failed to choke last week, then clawed their way from behind for a victory over the Kansas City Chiefs this week. Very un-Bearsian of them.

• There was, of course, a Jay Cutler highlight, though. Not content with giving the Kansas City Chiefs a safety when they tackled him in his own endzone, Cutler decided to fumble the ball to make sure they got six points for their efforts instead of just a measly two.

• The three Florida teams have a combined four wins -- and two of those only happened because they played each other.  

• The Arizona Cardinals have 59 points off of turnovers in five games.

• Say what you want about me, but I am undyingly loyal. I still believe in Matthew Stafford. Even when he’s 0-5 and getting benched after throwing three interceptions. The Detroit Lions are the only team left without a win. They really should be 1-4, since the refs stole a game from them last week, but I don’t know that that would make any Lions fans feel better.

It seems his wife his having trouble letting go, though.

• Peyton Manning is the only non-punter NFL player I’ve ever seen whose football pants are baggy.

• Cincinnati Bengals tight end Tyler Eifert had an awesome game on Sunday -- 90 yards, two touchdowns -- against Seattle’s shutdown safety Kam Chancellor. I loved him at Notre Dame and am so happy to see him coming back so well from a brutal elbow injury.

• Here’s San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula.

• And here is the perfect way to describe him. Spot on.

• Eli Manning threw a game-winning touchdown with 21 seconds left to lead the New York Giants over the San Francisco 49ers. Disappointing, yes, but we still got to see Eli throw a pick in the endzone shortly before half, leading to a quintessential Manning Face.

There's always a silver lining.

• Antonio Gates was a basketball player who never even played in a college football game. He was signed as an undrafted free agent by the San Diego Chargers 13 years ago, and on Monday night, became just the second tight end in NFL history (after the great Anthony Gonzalez) to catch 100 touchdowns.

• We already had a Jordy Nelson picture, but another one never hurts.