Cheaters Always Prosper

• So the cheating cheats from Cheatsville won again. How nice for them.

• The Atlanta Falcons. The Atlanta Falcons, man. They were up 28-3 late in the third quarter! They allowed three points the entire first half, then allowed 31 straight points to end the game!!! To them, I can only say:

• No, no, I really do feel for Falcons fans. That must have hurt a lot. Seriously, it finally felt like your year! Nine years after taking Matt Ryan with the #3 pick in the draft, five years after trading away almost two drafts’ worth of picks for Julio Jones, after years of watching the New Orleans Saints and Carolina Panthers make the playoffs, after years and years of being good but never really doing anything about it, you guys finally buckled down and took care of business. You marched through the season, steamrolling other teams to take your division. You earned your Wild Card bye. You dismissed the Seattle Seahawks without ceremony. You stomped on the Green Bay Packers. You made it, at last, to the Super Bowl. The entire country wanted you to win and had your back. You came out and knocked those reviled Patriots right in the mouth. You did this to their defense:

Taylor Gabriel is out here embarrassing people. https://t.co/1pPs9fxxId pic.twitter.com/YES0TfW5Kq

— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) February 6, 2017

• ...You got the rare Brady pick-six.

• ...You came out on fire and took a 25-point second-half lead. And then -- you -- after all that -- you just -- I’m sorry! I can’t!

• I just want you all to know that it was way worse for me because I KNEW THIS WAS COMING! Before the game, I thought Atlanta was going to win, but with about one minute left in the first half, with the Falcons up 21-0, I turned to my brother (he’s my witness!) in a panic and told him, “The Patriots are going to win!” He tried to soothe me, saying that Atlanta would score a bunch more points in the second half, but it was too late because I knew! I could feel it! I could feel the cliched articles being written. I could feel idiots across the country celebrating Brady “sticking it” to Roger Goodell. I could feel the “experience matters” tweets being prepared. I COULD FEEL IT AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT.

• Even as I cheered this absolutely incredible Julio Jones catch, my heart was ill at ease.

• Because, sure enough, the Patriots had to one-up Julio.

• There’s certainly blame enough to go around in Atlanta, but there were two HUGE plays that really cost the Falcons, and both saw a failure in protection. On a third-and-1 in the fourth quarter, Ryan dropped back to pass (even though running back Devonta Freeman had been averaging 8.2 yards a carry) and Freeman (maybe?) failed to pick up a rushing Dont'a Hightower, who sacked Ryan and forced a killer fumble midway through the fourth.

• The second absolutely brutal play came with Atlanta up 28-20 with 3:50 left in regulation on the New England 23-yard line. Atlanta could have just kicked a field goal and all but sealed the game right there! Instead, after losing a yard on a first-down run, Ryan was sacked for a loss of 12 yards, pushing the Falcons to the edge of their kicker’s range. (Really? 50 yards is his limit? In a dome? Whatever.) A holding penalty on the next snap snuffed out the field goal hopes and Atlanta was forced to punt to New England.

• I’m not sure who takes the blame there: the offensive line for allowing the sack? Matt Ryan for not throwing the ball away? The offensive coordinator for not just running the darn ball in a game where Atlanta had been gaining most of their offense on the ground?

• The last point is a huge issue the decision to pass got them sacked out of field goal range and the incompletions kept on stopping the clock. Not only did they come away with no points, but they gifted New England the extra time it so desperately needed!

• That Atlanta found its early success running rather than throwing was actually the biggest surprise to me. (Since I could feel the bile of dread rising in my throat the entire game, the comeback wasn’t that much of a surprise.) The box score doesn’t really reflect this -- Atlanta and New England somehow both finished with 104 rushing yards??? -- but the Falcons were killing the Patriots in the run game the entire first half.

• If I were a New England fan  -- well, if I were, I’d kill myself, but for the purpose of this football discussion, I’m going to continue the sentence -- I would have been horribly upset with the time management in the entire second half. Down three scores, the Patriots were still huddling up and moseying to the line. Things ended up working out for them, but they very well could have cost themselves the victory with their completely unhurried approach for the entire third and much of the fourth quarters.

• Why is Matt Ryan’s face so gaunt? Doesn’t he get enough food?

• Ugh this is all just so horrible! I’m so unhappy. The Patriots now have the most Super Bowl appearances. Tom Brady has the most Super Bowl wins among quarterbacks. Bill Belichick has the most Super Bowls for a coach. It’s all just so devastating. Because you know who are the only bigger ---------s than the New England Patriots players? Every single New England Patriots fan. 

• Next year’s Super Bowl will be held in Minneapolis. The Vikings have a dome, so lucky for the fans during the actual game, but have any of the people who made this decision ever actually been in Minnesota in February? The high today is 13 degrees. Without the windchill.

• This article features 51 facts about Super Bowl 51, and it numbers them all in Roman numerals, except for #50. Did they think we’d all get thrown by “L”? Or that we wouldn’t be able to piece it together from the 50 other context clues we had?

• I am soooooo sad about Teddy Bridgewater! The Minnesota Vikings’ QB blew out his knee in training camp this season, missing all of the 2016 season. Now, it’s being reported that he’s going to miss all of 2017 too, since the damage to his knee requires more than a year-and-a-half recovery period. Yes, of course, the Vikings are my mortal enemy, but how do you not feel bad for this kid? It would not be surprising for this injury to turn out to be career-ending, but I really, really hope that he’s able to come back in 2018 and play great. (Not too great, though. He is still a Viking.)

• Minnesota fans must be extra depressed since that means another season of Sam Bradford. Sam Bradford’s probably not too excited about it, either.

"Pleeaaassee! Somebody help me! This isn't about
the game anymore! I don't want to die!"

• The Pro Bowl was played, reportedly, though who knows because no one watched it. The final score was 20-13 AFC, which is really, really low considering that no defense was played. On that note, since the players don’t play defense, which I totally understand in the Pro Bowl, they should make it two-hand touch or something so that the offensive players have to actually try.

• Speaking of trying, one player in the Pro Bowl did try, and I absolutely love him for it. Kirk Cousins, who is a free agent looking for a big payday, threw a pass that was tipped and intercepted. The intecepter returned it a ways, then lateraled it to a teammate, who was headed for the endzone when my man Cousins chased him down and stripped the ball! Now, Cousins’ team did not recover the fumble and that was pretty much the end of the game, but STILL! How do you not appreciate that man’s effort?

• I watched the NFL Honors show so you didn’t have to. By far the best line of the night from host Keegan-Michael Key: “Dak and Zeke led the Dallas Cowboys to the NFC’s number one seed. And even though they’re both rookies, they looked like Cowboys veterans in the way they immediately lost in the playoffs.”  Hahahahahahaha it’s funny because it’s true.

• Key also got a zing in on Green Bay: “The playoffs got really great ratings this year. For instance, the NFC Championship was watched by 46 million people -- and the Packers’ secondary.”

• Can someone tell me why the BLEEP Jerral Jones was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame? Saying as, ya know, he never played in the NFL?

Maybe there'd be more room for guys like Terrell Owens if
we didn't include people who weren't in the NFL.

• The best part of the NFL Honors was Jordy Nelson winning Comeback Player of the Year!!

• Besides Packers winning, the other best part of these awards shows is getting to see Green Bay players all dressed up and looking dapper.

(I cropped out his fiancee.)

• Some clever fans introduced us to Sideline Ninja’s non-superhero alter ego: Nerdy Jelson!

• It was a roller coaster year for Green Bay. There were a lot of highs, but it eventually ended with disappointment. I feel good about 2017, though. It'll be our year! Till next season, Packers fans.

It Ends with a Whimper

• So the Green Bay Packers lost to the Atlanta Falcons by 23 points in the NFC Championship … and it wasn’t even as close as the score suggests.

• From the opening moments, the Atlanta Falcons had their way. The Packers defense wasn’t even a speed bump to them. The Falcons’ own drops were the best defense of the game. I’ll make this quick, like ripping off a bandaid: Atlanta had 493 yards, six touchdowns, and no turnovers. They only punted twice the entire game. Matt Ryan completed 71% of his passes (really? Because it felt like at least 96%) and finished with a passer rating of 139.4.

• I feel bad for ripping our absolutely dreadful defense because they were such a ragtag bunch. They were pretty much already on their third-string before losing Micah Hyde, Kentrell Brice, and Jake Ryan. (Who was even in secondary for them with Hyde and Brice down?? They were already playing out of position because of injuries.) I don’t have the heart to condemn players who were just out-talented by the Falcons’ top-ranked offense. 

Yes, he dropped this interception.

• The injuries hit the offensive line hard, too. The Packers lost Lane Taylor (knee), TJ Lang (foot), and Bryan Bulaga (concussion). In the final series, the Packers only had four offensive linemen, and nose tackle Letroy Guion had to come in and play right guard, with the other linemen telling him what to do as the play unfolded. So that was depressing.

• Poor TJ Lang! The guard, who broke his foot earlier in the season, missed several weeks, came back, played great, and earned his first Pro Bowl honor, broke the same foot on Sunday. Fortunately it was not a more serious injury, considering that he’s now a free agent, but that's still a rough time to get hurt. 

• The Green Bay defense was numbing to watch, but it’s not as if the offense did much with the few opportunities they had. Unfortunately, it’s tough to find a rhythm when you’re only on the field for 10 minutes in the entire first half. Seriously, the worst approach to playing the best offense in the league? Give them a two-to-one advantage in time of possession.

Dropping passes also did not help.

• Look, I certainly am not shocked by Atlanta winning. That seemed like a very likely outcome going in. But watching the Pack get shut out in the first half? It was all a horrible nightmare. I couldn't believe my eyes. 

• Then giving myself a pep talk all during halftime, telling myself the Packers could turn this around, only to watch Green Bay start the second half with a three-and-out and then allow a 73-yard touchdown within the first 70 seconds:

• And slowly accepting that was literally nothing Green Bay could do to stop the bleeding:

• The problem with a team like the Falcons is just a couple of errors, and the dominoes start to fall -- fast. It became abundantly clear fairly early on that Atlanta was going to be scoring on every single possession. The hope was to get the ball in Aaron Rodgers’ hands as much as possible and try to limit the Falcons to field goals on at least a few of their drives. The wheels came off almost immediately, however: the Falcons scored on the opening possession, the Packers missed a field goal, the Falcons made a field goal, and the Packers fumbled just outside the redzone. Instead of 10-10, it was 10-0, and when the Falcons scored a touchdown on their next play, the floodgates were opened.

• I really feel bad for all my Packers and I don’t want to kick anyone when he’s down and we win as a team, lose as a team, and all that, but if there’s one person who maybe I feel just the slightest bit tempted to heap blame upon, I’m looking at you, Rip. That fumble was killer. In so many ways. You just can’t do that in a conference championship, Yukon!

• The biggest surprise to me besides, ya know, getting blown out of the water, was Atlanta’s pass rush. Though they have some real playmakers -- including sack leader Vic Beasley Jr. -- the Packers’ offensive line has been so impressive in pass coverage, I really wasn’t worried. The Falcons got pressure on Rodgers all day long, though, while also keeping him in the pocket, which few other teams have been able to do.

• The saddest part is that such a beatdown ruins the magic feeling of the season. If it had been a close, heartbreaking loss, we could all find solace in the incredible effort of the team, how many injuries they fought through, how they won eight straight games, how they started 4-6 and still ended up just one game from the Super Bowl. It was a crazy season with so many unbelievable plays and comebacks and wins! But alas, the ignominious exit mars that.

• Atlanta’s head coach Dan Quinn must be part robot. He barely reacted to the Gatorade shower at all!

In his defense, he did slightly raise his eyebrows about 15 seconds after this.

• There was only one small glimmer of joy this week and that was Jordy being an absolute beast and braving two broken ribs to play. He had six catches for 67 yards and a touchdown, but you can’t quantify his toughness.

• He had to wear kevlar padding to protect his ribs, but that still didn't stop him from playing. 

What a man.

• Sigh. All in all, I’m handling things well.

• It was a very impressive final four for the NFL.

• Seattle Seahawks corner Richard Sherman played the second half of the season with an MCL injury, which is impressive, but also confusing, because aren’t NFL teams required to list injuries on their weekly injury report? When asked why this information had not been announced, head coach Pete Carroll responded “I don’t know,” and “Honestly, I didn’t even realized we hadn’t revealed it.” (Hmm, which is it?) Anyway, I believe Pete. His shining character and forthrightness have certainly earned him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think he’d do anything underhanded or illegal to gain an advantage over an opponent. 

• The poor Pittsburgh Steelers got run over by the New England Patriots. Their worst fears were realized when Le’Veon Bell left the game in the first quarter with a groin injury. From there, the game got out of hand quick and New England cruised to an easy 36-17 win.

• It was cold during the game, what with it being January in New England and all, but luckily Tom Brady was able to keep warm on the sideline by sitting inside a tent. (This is not photoshopped.)

There's obviously some cheating going on in there. He's get PED
injections or deflating footballs or having the purified blood
of small children put into him.

• The playoffs have not been great entertainment for neutral fans. Aside from the Packers-Cowboys thriller and the Steelers-Chiefs game in the divisional round, all the playoff games have been decided by 13 points or more.

• I don’t usually like to cheer for teams that crush all my dreams, but I am happy for Atlanta. I like Matt Ryan and Julio Jones, and Quinn's done a great job with the defense. They’ve been good for awhile, but never could get things to click on all cylinders before. Plus, the franchise has never won a Super Bowl. And the New England Patriots are the worst, so I’ll definitely be rooting for the Falcons. 

• Goodness, if the Falcons need any bulletin board materials to fire them up against all their doubters, they can just remind themselves that more people bet money that the Cleveland Browns would win the Super Bowl than people who thought Atlanta would win. That’s so insulting!

• The main thing we don’t want is those cheating cheats up in New England to cheat their way to another championship. We as a country are pretty divided right now after a contentious election season, but I think the one thing that can bring us all together again is root against the Patriots. Even if you’re on the fence about the cheating cheats, just imagine how awful all the Patriots fans squawking about Deflategate and Tom Brady in their monstrous accents for months will be if they win. 

Who would you rather listen to all offseason: Patriots fans celebrating being
cheating cheats? Or happy Falcons fans celebrating their first-ever Super Bowl win?

• It's tough to face the end of the Packers season, but at least we went farther than the Dallas Cowboys, and at least we ripped out their heart and stomped on it a few times. It means it wasn’t a totally wasted season.

A Week 4 Bye?? Come on, NFL!

Jordy probably spent his bye being a super adorbs farmer.

• The Green Bay Packers had their bye this week. After three games. Now, true, the Pack is pretty banged up -- Shields, Matthews, Burnett, Janis, Cook, Lang, and more -- so it might actually be a good thing, but still, it's the principle of the thing! Week 4 is way too early for a bye for any team. The Packers now have to go 13 straight weeks without a break. And it’s not just physical, either; players need a mid-season mental break, too. 

• At least this week will get them back to their best.

• This week’s slate looked pretty boring, but turned in some real surprises, like the Buffalo Bills shutting out the New England Patriots, 16-0. While the world naturally rejoiced, the Pats are still an impressive 3-1 through their long dark night without Tom Brady.

• When you beat the previously undefeated Patriots (even if it was against a third-string quarterback), you get to rock a cool hairstyle.

• When I think we were all surprised to see the Chicago Bears beat the Detroit Lions 17-14. The most surprising part, however, is probably that I don’t mind that the Bears won. They’re in the NFC North basement and are of no concern to the real teams in that division, so I’m happy to see them knock down the Lions. It did irk me that a Brian Hoyer-led team easily dispatched a team that gave the Packers a bit of a scare though.

Yes, this man.

• Okay, now, discerning readers of this blog may have picked up on a subtle dislike that I may harbor for Jay Cutler. That said, I almost feel bad for him, considering how publicly his own coach disdains him. When John Fox first took the reins last season, he announced that long-time starter Cutler would have to compete with Jimmy Clausen for the starting spot. Jimmy Clausen! (Oh the indignity!) This week, with Cutler out with a sprained thumb and Hoyer behind center, Fox said, “Anybody’s that performing well, I don’t think we’re going to be likely to change.” Now, in his defense, Fox is saddled with a quarterback he obviously doesn’t believe in but can’t get rid of for salary reasons (the Bears are on the hook for $17 million to Cutler this year). On the other hand, kinda sucks to have your coach very clearly not in your corner.

"Thanks, coach." *Emo sigh*

• Another surprise: after getting trounced 28-0 by the San Francisco 49ers in Week 1, Case Keenum and the Los Angeles Rams are 3-1 and atop the NFC West.

• A surprise that shouldn’t have been a surprise? The San Diego Chargers choking away a near-sure win. They had a 13-point lead halfway through the fourth quarter and lost!! San Diego, after lighting it up for three and a half quarters (Philip Rivers was 28-of-43 for 321 yards and two touchdowns) turned into the Three Stooges, fumbling the ball away on consecutive possessions, both in their own territory and both leading to New Orleans Saints touchdowns. The Chargers had two minutes left for a chance at the win, but had a sack, fumbled snap (recovered), incompletion, and interception to end the game. Sigh. I think being a Chargers fan would be the toughest because they actually have a ton of talent, but always disappoint. (This article is titled “The Chargers Are Unprecedented Late-Game Failures.”)

• *Tear* JJ Watt is out for the rest of the season after undergoing back surgery. Get better soon, bae.

• So Dez Bryant suffered a knee injury last week. Then was a no-show for his MRI on Monday, reportedly because he was scared to find out the result (a hairline fracture in his knee). Which has led to reports that Dez Bryant is still Dez Bryant and has been late or a no-show as many as 40 times in the last seven years.

Dez Bryant.

• I didn’t watch Thursday Night Football -- because who does? -- but I was trying to find out the results on Friday morning. It wasn’t on the Yahoo homepage. Or the ESPN home page. Or the ESPN NFL page. The Cincinnati Bengals defeated the Miami Dolphins 22-7, apparently, but I felt really sad for both teams that no one cared about the game, not even ESPN.

• Uh oh, the Atlanta Falcons are sort of making me believe in them again. Why won’t I learn? I’ve sworn to myself that I’d never believe in them because they always will let you down, but then they go and have a game like they did on Sunday: Matt Ryan was 28-for-37, for 503 YARDS, and FOUR touchdowns, and Julio Jones was on the receiving end of 300 of those yards. Don’t do it. Don’t weaken. Don’t believe!

• On a conference call with Minnesota Vikings reporters, New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning was asked about the Vikings “having his number” (he’s 2-5 in his career against Minnesota). Manning responded:
  “I don’t think anybody, eh, I don’t think anybody has my phone number on the Vikings. Maybe (former Giant) Linval (Joseph), I’m not sure. I’m trying to think if I have anybody’s number. Maybe somebody, I’m sure. I have (Sam) Bradford. I have his number. He’s got my number. Can’t think of anybody else’s off-hand though. I’ll look through my phone and get back to you.”
  This raises a question I never thought I’d ask: is Eli Manning actually really witty? Does the guy who makes this face actually have a really dry sense of humor??

• It's been a weird week. I cheered for the Bears and the Giants??!! Alas, my cheers weren't enough to overcome the Minnesota Vikings defense, which shut down the Giants, 24-10. The Vikings continue to be a concern.

• WILL FULLER! As I’ve mentioned, I was a huge fan of this guy when he was at Notre Dame, and I love watching him shred defenses week in and week out as a rookie for the Houston Texans!

• TEEEBOOOOOW! Okay, sure, Tim Tebow isn’t in the NFL anymore, so one might argue that he doesn’t have any place on this blog. But others might say that the Tebow magic transcends sports. At his first at-bat as a member of the New York Mets’ Minor League team, Tebow, of course, hit a home run.

• Do not get on Carolina Panthers’ running back Mike Tolbert’s bad side because he’s vindictive as bleep. Upset with the service (or lack of) that he received at a car shop, he paid his nearly $4,000 bill entirely in coins.

• The Panthers are now 1-3. Did not see that coming.

• My goodness, the end of the first half in the Houston Texans-Tennessee Titans game was a mess. The Texans got the ball with 2:28 left in the second and all three of their timeouts. An uninspired six plays later, Houston punts with 1:15 left. Tennessee, also retaining all three timeouts, start with a short gain, and Houston takes the timeout. An odd call, but turns out to be right, as Tennessee can’t make anything happen and punts back to the Texans with 58 seconds left. The Titans get called for a 10-yard holding penalty on the punt (and should have been called for a 15-yard face mask), which gave Houston the ball on the Tennessee 44 yardline, still with all three timeouts. 3rd-and-4, Houston throws just short of the first down. Thinking that they got the first down, Houston hesitates before taking their final timeout with 15 seconds left. Houston head coach Bill O’Brien is too busy arguing with officials to notice that the play clock has started and the Texans are milling about the field as the clock ticks down. The kicker doesn’t even get onto the field until the play clock is down to six seconds, and the Texans get a delay of game penalty, which knocks them out of field goal range. Instead of trying a 58-yard field goal, Houston throws on 4th-and-6 with no timeouts (how exactly did they see this playing out?). The Titans, however, commit pass interference on the play! That gives Houston a first down and puts them back in field goal range, and, after all that ineptitude, the Texans kick a field goal. Yeesh.

Remember when watching the Titans and the Texans.

• That was not the most embarrassing part of the game, however. That came from the officiating crew. On a Tennessee punt, Houston blew through the line and blocked the punt, picking it up and returning it for a touchdown while whistles blew. The Titans punter took a huge shot and was shaken up on the play, Houston players were wondering what the heck just happened, and the official came on the mic and said: “Prior to the snap, the play was shut down, assuming there were 12 men on defense. However, the 12th man did get off, so there is no foul. We’ll replay 4th down.” I’ll leave it to you to imagine how the Texans crowd reacted.

• I thought it’d be hard for Andrew Luck to be any more endearing, but then he started his own book club. Then he chose the Little House on the Prairie books for the kids’ version of his book club.

Here's why I picked #littlehouseontheprairie. Share pics of your copy using #albookclub. pic.twitter.com/DiPfYlZRzm

— AL Book Club (@ALBookClub) September 27, 2016

• I kind of love New York Jets receiver Brandon Marshall. I love how much he loves his quarterback, Ryan Fitzpatrick. After the second straight week devoid of Fitzmagic (poor Ryan threw one touchdown and three interceptions -- that’s nine interceptions and one touchdown in the last two weeks!), Marshall was asked about if it was time to switch quarterbacks. The devoted receiver got testy, staring down the reporter and answering very clearly: “I am. Going down. In a boat. With Ryan Fitzpatrick.” It’s kind of an insult, but kind of sweet, too.

Awww. But you should probably start playing better
if you want this bromance to last, Ryan.

• Poor, poor Navorro Bowman. In January 2013, the 49ers linebacker injured his knee in the NFC Championship Game. He tore both his ACL and MCL and missed all of the 2014 season. Last year he came back and led the league in tackles. Now, just four games into the 2016 season, Bowman suffered a torn Achilles tendon and is out for the rest season. That sucks. Get better soon, Navorro!  

• Man, the Indianapolis Colts are not good. After a loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars in London, the Colts are 1-3 and tied for last place in the worst division in the league.

• Josh Norman got a 15-yard penalty for mimicking archery because. Come on, NFL. He plays for the Redskins and it’s not a threat or violent. *Eye roll* Also the logo of another team, the Kansas City Chiefs is an arrowhead. Gasp! That’s a weapon! Should they have to change their name? Also, the Vikings were violent marauders known for pillaging villagers. Bears and Tigers maul people. 

Will the violence never end??

• Broncos QB Trevor Siemian (who?) injured his non-throwing shoulder, and rookie Paxton Lynch stepped up to finish off the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Not that it required much effort -- the Bucs didn’t score after the first quarter. The highlight of the boring game, which also featured an hour and half delay due to lightning, was Emmanuel Sanders’ perfectly executed cartwheel celebration.

• Drew Stanton, playing in relief of the concussed Carson Palmer, threw 11 passes. Seven of them were incomplete and two were interceptions. It can’t be fun for a backup QB to have to face that Rams defense.

• Oakland is fun to watch. It’s exciting to see a team that has been so terrible for my lifetime start to get really good. Derek Carr, Amari Cooper, Michael Crabtree, Khalil Mack -- there’s a lot for Raiders fans to be excited about.

• The good news is that the Cleveland Browns started the same quarterback that they had the previous week, which hasn’t happened since Christmas of last year, so yay for consistency. The bad news is that the Browns are 0-4, so ... yay for consistency?

This kind of implies that they had talent at some point.

• The Dallas Cowboys won 24-17 against the San Francisco 49ers, which just makes me more eager for Tony Romo’s return (targeted for Week 8) and the inevitable fallout. Quarterback Dak Prescott has been good, but fellow rookie Ezekiel Elliott has been even more impressive, averaging over 100 rushing yards again. Elliot, along with backup Alfred Morris, have taken a huge amount of pressure off of Prescott, so Dak hasn't had to do too much on his own.

 

***PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***

There will be no O&E next week. The good news is I won’t have to talk about Tom Brady’s return blah blah blah. I know this will cast a pall over the week for the thousands of readers of this blog, but do your best to muddle through. We’ll be back for the Packers-Cowboys game. Till then, here’s some Jordy to get you through to Week 6.