Monday, October 16, 2017

It’s Not the End of the World!

  • It’s okay. It’s okay! Really, it’s okay! We’re going to be okay. I’m totally okay. Things are going to be alright.
CBC funny comedy thank you cbc GIF

  • Now, granted, when the Green Bay Packers finished the game against the Minnesota Vikings, they barely had enough players to field a team. That’s not good, certainly, but that doesn’t mean the season is over or that everything has been for naught or that we’re losing one more year in the career of the greatest quarterback to play the game. No, no, this season can be saved! 
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  • I have faith in Brett Hundley. He had a rough time of it in Sunday’s loss, though. He was thrown into the fire against a very good Minnesota defense all while his offensive line was disintegrating right before him. A man named Ulrick John was Hundley’s right tackle by the end of the game, for heaven’s sake! So I’m not going to despair over Hundley because he had difficulty on Sunday. I think Brett seems really sweet and nice and I want him to do well. I beeeeelieeeeeve!

  • Did you even know that the Packers had a player named Ulrick John? Of course you didn’t. Just like you didn’t know they had a player named Lenzy Pipkins, who also played for them Sunday. Ol’ Lenzy is a defensive back who had to play after everyone else got injured. Before he, of course, got injured himself. 
Here's Lenzy signing his official Packers contract. This could
have been two days ago or two years ago. How would I know?
I didn't even learn of his existence until Sunday.

  • So the Pack came in down Morgan Burnett, Kevin King, and Davon House, all in the secondary. The good news was that their starting left and right tackles were playing in their first game together. Huzzah! Didn’t last long, of course. Bakhtiari went down. Bulaga went down. Taylor went down. Ty Montgomery was injured (wait, you mean playing a running back two weeks after he broke multiple ribs might not have been a good idea??). Quinten Rollins went out (for the season). Linebacker Blake Martinez, who’s been having a great season, went out, but returned. And Lenzy, too, of course. It was just a bloodbath out there.  
The Packers training room on Sunday.

  • Hmm one thing the Packers might want to consider is firing their entire strength and conditioning staff and trainers and anyone at all related to ensuring the health of their players because they cannot be very good at their job. Injuries are typically bad luck, but when it happens eight years in a row, maybe something needs to change. 

  • Thanks, JMike. Super helpful. This is why no one likes you.

  • So, it turns out that Aaron Rodgers will be having surgery on his collarbone, meaning he won’t be coming back this season. But it’s still okay!
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  • Martellus Bennett is bad at catching. 

  • The Packers promoted QB Joe Callahan from the practice squad to backup my boy Hundley.
This picture does not give me a lot of confidence that Joe knows
how to hold, much less throw, a football.

  • Um, I totally disagree with this headline from Everyone feels sorry for them! The loss of Rodgers alone elicits universal sympathy, but when people find out that they don’t have any offensive linemen or defensive backs? They definitely feel pity because we are pitiful. At the moment, at least. (I’m still positive! It’s still going to be OKAY!!!)

  • Aww Aaron Jones just keeps getting cuter and cuter! He has a twin brother he’s besties with.

  • I think Anthony Barr should have been called for a late hit on Aaron Rodgers, but it wasn’t egregious enough that it was a terrible no-call. Player-to-player, though, Barr had plenty of time to pull up and not doing so was low class. But that’s how Barr rolls. Here he is (#55), after the play, headbutting a player who was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago with a head/neck injury. Barr later left the game with a concussion, which I believe came from God smiting him for being a jerk.

  • Green Bay had so many penalties! They lost 92 yards on eight penalties. They just need to clean those up and that’ll go a long way in improving everything, right? Right?

  • Wow! Check out this crazy Pierre Garcon catch! The defender tips it, Garcon manages somehow to catch it and get his knee down in-bounds.

  • Man, can you imagine how little confidence the Atlanta Falcons must have in themselves? If you’re a Falcons fan, how big a lead do you need to feel comfortable? 40 points? 50 points? We know 25 points is not the answer, and on Sunday, we learned that 17 is not the answer either. Atlanta was up 17-0 over the Miami Dolphins at halftime. In the second half, the Jay Cutler-led Dolphins scored 20 points to Atlanta’s zero. The game effectively ended with Matt Ryan's sixth interception of the season. The reigning MVP had seven interceptions all of last year.
Watch out! You never know what could happen if Jay Culter starts to care!
(No, seriously, none of knows what would happen in that situation.)

  • So I was railing against the Detroit Lions for not pulling a hobbled Matthew Stafford from the game when they were down 45-10 to the New Orleans Saints halfway through the third quarter. Being the Lions, however, they actually came back and got within seven points! Then Stafford threw a pick-six, and the Saints won 52-38. Must suck to waste all that comeback.

  • It was a wild game. The Saints defense had an unusually good day against the Lions. (Well, before allowing them to come back from five touchdowns down, I mean.) They had 12 batted passes and forced five turnovers. New Orleans had SIX non-offensive touchdowns. Six!

  • The oddest stat, however, might be that three of the Saints’ defensive touchdowns had a grand total of two return yards: a forced fumble recovered in the endzone, a pick-six at the two-yard line, and a pick-six in the endzone that dashed Detroit’s hopes of victory. If that's not weird enough, here's another one of the Lions' turnovers -- I've never seen this happen before:

  • There were a lot of weird games this week. Thirty seconds into the Jacksonville Jaguars-Los Angeles Rams game, the score was 7-7. After combining for 31 points in the first quarter, the two teams scored only six points the entire second half. Here's how the game started:

  • Then there was the Chicago Bears-Baltimore Ravens game, in which Bears QB Mitchell Trubisky attempted just 16 passes, while Joe Flacco attempted 41. Trubisky was only involved in one of Chicago’s three touchdowns in their 27-24 overtime win: one touchdown was a pick-six and the other was thrown by running back Tarik Cohen.

  • We’ll put this in the No One Saw It Coming file: the previously 0-5 New York Giants beat the 3-1 Denver Broncos. Denver is not the team against which I would have guessed the Giants would break their losing streak.

  • Giants’ defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul notched a sack against the Broncos and celebrated with a dance that a kid with cancer had taught him.

  • 62.5% of Texans’ wideout Will Fuller’s receptions this year have been touchdowns. He missed the first few games due to injury, and in the three he has played in, he has eight receptions and five touchdowns.

  • Hey, look -- Tramon! Long-time readers of O&E will know how much I loved Tramon Williams when he was on the Packers. Glad to see him doing well.

  • Welcome back, Adrian Peterson! After a stymied stint in New Orleans, Peterson was traded to the Arizona Cardinals. Here he is on his very first drive with the Cardinals.

  • Deshaun Watson is pretty awesome and seems cool and sweet, so I guess we’re just letting the mustache pass without comment? Okay.

  • Ahh, some things just feel so familiar, like an old shoe or the refs cheating to help the Patriots win. In the fourth quarter, the New York Jets scored a touchdown (see below). The officials reviewed the score and found that the Jets player had briefly lost control of the ball (true), regained possession (true), and now has to do the whole “complete the process of the catch thing” (okay, fine). The ref then had the nerve to say the player bobbled the ball again (uh, says you, Mr. Ref! Where??) and never recovered before going out of bounds. Fumbling the ball out of bounds means that the team just gets the ball where the fumble occurred … except when it happens in the endzone. In that case, it’s a touchback and the other team gets it at the 20-yard line. So not only did the Jets have that score taken away, they also had the ball taken away from them! Keep in mind that the play was already ruled a touchdown, so you need obvious evidence to overturn it. The no-shame-having official said after the game: “It was a pretty quick determination. It was pretty obvious.”

  • The Patriots should be 1-5. It sucks that there is no justice in the world and they are 4-2, but the small solace is that, deep in their hearts, New England fans all know that they are a 1-5 team right now.

  • I understand the defender carrying Taylor Gabriel for the first three or four yards. Why he continues to fireman-carry him for another 10, I do not know, but Gabriel didn’t seem to mind. 

  • Here’s a weirdly interesting article on how much it takes to feed a football team each week. The 56 pounds of strawberries per day was the most surprising.

  • I dearly love Carolina Panthers linebacker Luke Kuechly. I plan on marrying him someday, but he really needs to retire. On Thursday night, Kuechly suffered his third concussion in the last three years. The first concussion in 2015 was serious enough to sideline him for three games. Last season, he missed six games with a scary concussion that ended his season. Please, please retire, Luke! I want him to be able to remember our children’s names in 20 years!
Protect your beautiful brain!

  • I kinda feel that if you have a back fracture, you should probably miss more than just one game, but the Oakland Raiders apparently feel differently about their starting quarterback because Derek Carr played in the Oakland’s loss to the San Diego Los Angeles Chargers.

  • Antonio Brown. He’s good. 

  • Some Negative Nellies out there have suggested that the Packers won't do well without Rodgers just because they don’t have a run game or a good defense to support their passing game which will now be lucky to be a hollow shell of what it was, but I’m optimistic! They can do this! Let’s go, Brett!

  • Green Bay will need players to step up.
We need manly men like Jordy to be leaders.

  • I’m not at all worried about my Packers, but just out of sheer idle curiosity, I wonder how well Aaron Rodgers can throw left-handed. I bet he’s still pretty good.

  • As I said, it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be better than okay! Brett Hundley can step up, the line can get healthy, Rodgers might be able to recover from surgery miraculously quickly and come back before the end of the season like last time -- these things could happen! And it’s all going to be okay.
 denial GIF

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

“A Little Too Much Time”: Part Deux

  • When the Green Bay Packers got the ball back with 1:13 left after the Dallas Cowboys had gone ahead 31-28, all I could hear in my head was Aaron Rodgers post-game quote from the last time he stomped on the hearts of the Cowboys faithful. Back in January, he was asked what he was thinking when Green Bay got the ball back with 0:35 in the Divisional Playoff game, and Rodgers responded:

  • My only regret regarding this game is that it fell on the day before a holiday, so I didn’t get to gloat in front of all my coworkers while the wound was still fresh. 

  • The game got off to a bit of a bumpy start, with the refs gifting the Cowboys four points on a dismal unnecessary roughness call in the endzone that gave Dallas a new set of downs on the two-yard line on their opening touchdown.

  • Plus the Packers missed not one, but two extra points! Listen, I don’t want to call out long snapper Taybor Pepper because he’s young, hasn’t played much, and his name is Taybor Pepper, so his life is probably hard enough as it is… but COME ON, DUDE. You literally have one job. All’s well that ends well (for now), as there were no more missed kicks after the first two.

  • The wide receiver besties busted out yet another coordinated celebration, which feels strange to see with the Green Bay Packers. On Sunday, they were an Olympic bobsled team.

  • Um five times weirder than the actual sight of the celebration is this tidbit:

  • Rookie Aaron Jones had a very, very nice game, gaining 125 yards on 19 carries, with a touchdown. It’s so exciting and refreshing to see a running threat in the Green and Gold! (Also, he seems totally sweet and adorable.)

  • Martellus Bennett has been something of a disappointment thus far, but he had a couple of big-time catches, including a 33-yarder and a huge first down on the game-winning drive.

  • I want to take a moment to say a big thank-you to Jason Garrett, Dak Prescott, and the Dallas Cowboys for not running the ball -- and the clock -- on second down prior to the Packers’ game-winning drive. Thanks to you, Green Bay didn’t not have to use their final timeout on defense, and they got the ball back plus-35 seconds or so. I raise my glass to you. 

  • Sure, I was jumping up and down and screaming and pacing the floor and what-not during that final drive, but 1:13 with Aaron Rodgers and a timeout? Come on. We all knew what was going to happen.

  • There were a lot of ups and downs during the game: Dallas jumping out to a 21-6 lead in the first half; Damarious Randall’s pick-six at just the right moment (and his stupid unsportsmanlike penalty); Green Bay’s successfully challenging of Dallas’ third-down “conversion” and forcing a 4th-and-one, then appearing to stop Ezekiel Elliott on 4th-and-one, only to have replay show that he got the first down -- so many emotions!

  • What is it with teams not covering Jordy? He leads the league in touchdowns (despite missing a game) -- he’s an #EndzoneNinja and defenses keep on seeming to forget about him!

  • Speaking of, winning the game was great and all, but WHERE WAS JORDY ON THE FINAL DRIVE??? Attempting a game-winning drive without your go-to receiver is nerve-wracking. And after the game, even in the midst of my excitement, I was so worried! Here’s everything I could find on the sitch:
This is remarkably unhelpful. What was it? A concussion? What happened?
When did it happen? How did it happen? Who's "we"?

  • I’m a little worried about HaHa Clinton-Dix. He seems really … bad thus far this season. (Also, why does he always wear long sleeves, even when it’s really hot out?) (I’m not suggesting the two are related, by the way. Just two discrete observations.)

  • I hope Dallas running back Ryan Switzer remembered to get his mom to sign his permission slip so he could play in the game Sunday.

Aren't there child labor laws?

  • Jeff Janis returned one kick on Sunday for  for 17 yards, bringing Green Bay’s season total for returns -- for both kicks and punts -- to a grand total of … 17 yards.

  • The Pack got one of their offensive tackles back Sunday, but were still down their starting left tackle, as well as their (now former) starting running back. They also lost cornerback Kevin King to a concussion and Morgan Burnett to a hamstring injury. Hopefully they’ll all heal up soon! For right now, all that matter is we beat the Cowboys!

  • I feel like I can’t really complain about Packers injuries when the 0-5 New York Giants lost four receivers on Sunday, two for long-term, including star wideout Odell Beckham Jr, who broke his ankle.

  • On top of that, my beloved JJ Watt suffered a bone break in his knee (here’s a pic of where the tibial plateau is), which sounds just horrible. It’s even sadder when it comes after a 2016 season in which Watt played just three games, and an injury-filled 2015, as well. The Texans also lost linebacker (and current holder of the Best Name for a Defender title) Whitney Mercilus for the year to a torn pectoral muscle. Here’s hoping both come back stronger next year!

  • It was a real barn-burner up in Chicago on Monday night. Here's how the first half between the Bears and the Minnesota Vikings went: punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, safety, punt, punt, punt, punt, fumble, field goal, punt. Yep, totally worth  jeopardizing Sam Bradford’s safety.

  • I think the stat tracker in the Carolina Panthers’ win over the Detroit Lions wasn’t paying attention or something. He noted 11 penalties against the Panthers, but it felt like double that. And it somehow showed Stafford only being sacked 6 times, but it felt like 16. 
And here you can see his hand injury gushing.

  • I’m glad the Lions lost, but I was really impressed with Stafford leading a near-comeback all while barely being able to walk. 

  • What’s the etiquette when you’re an offensive lineman and your man beats you and sacks your quarterback and then you have to help him up? I’ve always wondered. Do you mumble an apology? Do you just keep your mouth shut because he’s probably pretty mad? Do you curse to show how angry you are at yourself?

  • Here’s a clip from Eli Manning’s Visa commercial to prove that the Manning Face never takes a play off, not even when playing a pick-up game with the local kids for Visa. 

  • It’s never good to throw a red-zone interception, but it’s particularly bad to throw a red-zone interception in overtime when you’re eight yards from victory, as Jacoby Brissett did for Indianapolis. Luckily for the Colts, they were playing the San Francisco 49ers, who did absolutely nothing with the turnover, and the Colts were able to win on a field goal on their next possession.  

  • Not a good day for Ben Roethlisberger against the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Pittsburgh Steeler threw zero touchdowns and FIVE interceptions, including two pick-sixes in the span of three minutes. Ouch.
Umm, yeah. Not exactly throwing himself on a sword...

  • The Jaguars are super trendy right now. Part of the reason they look so good is that last year, their turnover ratio last year was -16; this year, they’re +10 so far.

  • This is so much better than any trash talking. This is Jacksonville running back Leonard Fournette beckoning, mid-run, the defender to come at him.

  • Argh! The New England Patriots should be 1-4! Thanks to chokes by the Houston Texans and now the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Patriots are 3-2. On Thursday night, the Bucs missed not one, not two, but THREE field goals. And lost by five points. 

  • Poor Kansas City Chiefs. There is nothing they can do to make me take them seriously. They're the last undefeated team and, through 5 games, Alex Smith has 11 TDs and 0 interceptions, but I'm still like:

  • The New York Jets are 3-2 and oddsmakers give them the same chance to win the Super Bowl as the 0-5 New York Giants. That’s offensive. But also totally understandable.

  • At first, when Jay Cutler threw an interception in Sunday’s game, I thought the Miami Dolphins fans were calling for backup quarterback Matt Moore when they started chanting, “We want Moore! We want Moore.” But on second thought, perhaps they were saying, “We want more,” with “Jay Cutler” being the implied completion of the chant. Hard to say.

  • Up next: the Vikings!

Monday, October 2, 2017

Even Without Cutler … the Bears Still Suck

  • The Green Bay Packers-Chicago Bears game started just as well as one could imagine. The Packers started with the ball on offense and scored a touchdown on their first drive. Then, on the Chicago Bears’ very first snap of the game, Clay Matthews came charging through the line, forced the hapless Mike Glennon to fumble, and Green Bay recovered on the four-yard line. They scored three plays later. (Major props to Jake Ryan on recovering the ball. Great awareness. But does he fall while celebrating or is that part of his celebration??)

  • That’s the series lead for Green Bay! They now lead 95-94-6 all-time versus Chicago. Hah! 

  • It was especially fun that Matthews became the Packers’ all-time sack leader on that strip-sack, and against the rival Bears, too. Loooooove it! 

"I smell Bear blood!"

  • The Packers did not play any offensive tackles playing on Thursday because they simply didn’t have any available. Bryan Bulaga and David Bakhtiari were out with injuries, and Kyle Murphy, Jason Spriggs, and Don Barclay are all on the IR. Guard Lane Taylor played left tackle for the first time in his life against the Bears and did a fantastic job!

  • I totally agree with this fan. But I do have to say I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much I still enjoy watching the Bears get destroyed, even without Jay Cutler. I didn’t expect how gleeful I would be when the Pack went up 14-0 in the first six minutes. 

  • The Davante Adams hit was scary. I hate it when they bring out the backboard. Danny Trevathan has rightly been suspended two games for the dirty hit that sent Adams to the hospital. That kind of hit could easily end someone’s career. Adams was able to give the crowd a thumbs-up as he was wheeled off the field (I teared up, as I do every single time this happens in a football game) and tweeted Friday that he was back home.

  • After the hit, the teams started to tussle. While everyone was getting in each other’s face, Randall Cobb didn’t even care about the scrape, but was kneeling by Davante Both Cobb and Jordy both went to the hospital after the game to visit their friend.


  • After a snap bounced off Glennon’s knees and resulted in one of Chicago’s four turnovers of the night, the Twitter account for Butterfinger candy bar decided to rib the Bears a bit. The Bears Twitter tried to sass back, not knowing that Butterfinger is way sassier than anyone ever expected.

  • There was some drama on the sidelines. Cornerback Damarious Randall got benched after giving up a touchdown and then was sent to the locker room, reportedly for arguing with a coach. Hmmm, you’re a little old for being sent to your (locker) room, D.

  • Jordy Nelson scored four touchdowns in five days! *I* think that’s impressive, but apparently Chicago didn’t think he merited any coverage.

  • Someone needs to tell CBS that branded their announcers suit jackets make them look really cheap. Like when you start a new job and you’re handed the used uniform of the person who quit the day before.

  • The injuries somehow just keep on going. In addition to losing Adams, the Packers lost starting running back Ty Montgomery (ribs) and backup running back, rookie Jamaal Williams (knee). Last running back standing, rookie Aaron Jones stepped up and did pretty well running for 49 yards on 13 carries.

  • Considering the weather delay, the injury delays, and the massive score gap, the announcers had to find some things to talk about. Luckily, the downtime led to them playing a video of Chicago rookie running back Tarik Cohen catching two footballs while doing a backflip. Wow.

  • Thursday Night Football reminds me of the generic brands in the cereal aisle, like “Fruity Circles,” “Wheatums,” and “Apple Smacks,” because it’s trying so hard to be Monday Night Football, but it’ll always be a half-hearted off-brand imitation. They have the hot girl singing an intro … but she’s not famous enough to be recognizable. They used to have a painful feature called, “Stop it, playa,” or something that wasn’t even trying not to be a ripoff of  MNF’s super annoying “C’mon, man.” Just accept TNF for what it is -- a money grab by the NFL for their network that no one particularly likes, but they’ll watch if their team is playing. 

  • What a great week! Both the Cowboys and the Patriots lost. Let’s start with New England first. I saw the Carolina Panthers up 30-16 at the start of the fourth quarter, but I didn’t bother getting excited because I made that mistake last week with the Texans, and they blew it. Sure enough, New England came back to tie the game 30-30 with just over three minutes left in the game. The Panthers got the ball back and steadily gain yards up the field and running the clock until they faced a 48-yard field with 0:04 left. Graham Gano FOR THE WIN!! That makes the Patriots 2-2, Tom.

 tom brady GIF

  • Then, even better was the Dallas Cowboys-Los Angeles Rams game. Dallas led for the majority of the game until the third quarter, but by the early fourth quarter, the Rams were holding on to a 32-24 lead. Dallas came back and scored a touchdown, and had to go for two. Tie game! Oh, wait, there was a holding call that nullified the conversion and on the second attempt, Terrance Williams dropped the ball in the endzone. (This was a very, very important play in the game, and yet this is the only highlight I could find. Doesn’t really show how bad Williams’ drop was.)

  • But Terrance wasn’t done quite yet. The Rams scored a field after Dallas’ failed two-point attempt, so the score was 35-30, and it was touchdown or bust for the Cowboys. Williams again chose bust, dropping what would have been a first-down pass. They did eventually get a first down, but were stopped a few plays later on fourth down, ending the game as cheers errupted across America.

  • If this NFL thing doesn’t work out for Jeff Heath (#38, the white dude making the first “attempt” at tackling Todd Gurley on this play, around the 30-yard line), he can always start a career as an infomercial actor. He seems like a natural.

  • Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson gave his first-ever NFL paycheck to three cafeteria workers at the Texans’ complex who had lost their homes in Hurricane Harvey. That is very cool.

  • Last week, we mocked Joe Flacco for only having 28 passing yards, but it turns out it was even worse than that. My brother pointed out that 30 of Joe Flacco’s passing yards were after the catch. 28 passing yards … 30 after the catch. His average pass was caught behind the line of scrimmage, and his longest completion was three yards. I’m … I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say.
If Joe had come out and just done this on every play, it
actually would have been more beneficial to the team.

  • WHERE IS THAT MERCY RULE?? The Texans hung 57 points on the poor little Tennessee Titans. And the Texans aren’t even that good! 

  • I wonder if Cris Collinsworth’s feelings are hurt by being thrown over for Tony Romo as most beloved color commenter. 

  • Cole Beasley looks like a hobbit, and I have an intense, instinctive reaction against him every time I see him.

Grrr! Doesn't that face just make you angry??

  • The New York Giants are 0-4.

  • Another 0-4 team is the Los Angeles Chargers. Unlike the glee I feel at the Giant’s record, I actually feel bad for the Chargers. They’re perpetual disappointments, and they were forced to move to LA, even though they didn’t want LA and LA didn’t -- and doesn’t -- want them. They can’t fill the smallest stadium in the league, and the fans that do come are for the opponents. I can understand why Philip Rivers is so mad.

  • The Buffalo Bills beat the Atlanta Falcons to take the AFC North division lead! The upset is less surprising when you consider that the Falcons lost their top receivers Julio Jones and Mohamed Sanu during the game. Man, if the Packers had gotten to play the Falcons sans Jones and Sanu, Atlanta probably would have only put up 300 yards on them.

  • Carl Lawson of the Bengals (you remember, the guy who spent Week 3 in the Green Bay backfield?) doesn’t wear a mouthguard. Why, I can’t even begin to guess, but it caught up to him Sunday when he lost two teeth during a tackle.

  • I was hoping the Seattle Seahawks-Indianapolis Colts game could end after the first quarter so we could see a 3-2 final score. Didn’t quite work out that way as Seattle went on to score 43 more points for a 46-18 win. The crazy thing is that Indianapolis was leading 15-10 at halftime! Poor Colts were probably really excited in the locker room, thinking that they were finally not going to embarrass themselves on national television, in prime time, too.

  • It was this kind of day for Matty Ice. Even when he wasn’t at quarterback, he struggled. The more I watch this, the funnier it gets. Matt Ryan’s earnest effort; his tripping on nothing for no reason; the Wildcat quarterback’s “what the hell?” hand gesture; Ryan giving him that thumbs-ups -- I can’t stop watching this!

  • Let’s compare. Above was Matt Ryan on a Wildcat play. Below is Jay Cutler, at the bottom of the screen, on a Wildcat play. On the one hand, I find this absolutely freaking hilarious. On the other hand, if I were his coach, I would fine Cutler for this! That attitude and lack of effort from any player, much less the quarterback, is unacceptable!

  • Seattle left tackle Rees Odhiambo reported having trouble breathing during the Sunday night game. He was taken the the hospital and diagnosed with a “bruised heart.” That sounds so painful … and profound. 

  • Speaking of painful injuries, Oakland QB Derek Carr suffered a “minor” fracture after taking a knee to the back, and is out “2-4 weeks.” I don’t know, but that seems like it should take more than a couple of weeks to heal. But hey, Tony Romo did that a bunch of times and it worked out for him, right?

  • I know we’re all supposed to love Travis Kelce -- he’s crazy! He’s hilarious! No filter! Having so much fun out there! -- but really he is a sophomoric dude-bro jerk whose constant unsportsmanlike penalties hurt his team. Grow up! (And stay off my lawn!)

  • Next up for the Packers: the Dallas Cowboys. In the words of Bart Scott:

NFL football nfl jets new york jets GIF