Monday, November 13, 2017

Finally, a Victory!




  • Whew! A win! Congratulations to Brett Hundley on his first NFL victory as a starter!! It was especially nice coming against the Chicago Bears. Hundley started slow, but by the fourth quarter, he was making quick, decisive throws, including this beauty to Davante Adams for the touchdown. Gorgeous. 



  • More bad news on the injury front. Starting rookie running back Aaron Jones sprained his MCL on the first drive and will be out 3-6 weeks. Before halftime, running back Ty Montgomery suffered a rib injury (what? A running back playing with multiple broken ribs is a bad idea??), leaving rookie Jamaal Williams as the only available running back. Williams looked good, but we’re going to need some help in the backfield. Hundley also tweaked his hamstring, so that could limit the running game even further. 



  • How cute is Brett??


  • The Packers definitely had some help from the Bears. Chicago committed eight turnovers (not including the ones that were declined) that cost them 78 yards. Thank you. Also, thank you to Bears coach John Fox for challenging that Bears runner Benny Cunningham had stepped out of bounds just short of the goal line. He actually won the challenge -- Cunningham did not step out of bounds -- but the replay showed that Cunningham had lost control of the ball before it hit the pylon, and a fumble in the endzone is a touchback, so instead of the Bears being 1st-and-goal on the one-yard line, the Packers got the ball at the 20. Hugely important play that helped shaped the game.



  • The defense stepped up big. They held Chicago to 4-of-14 on third downs and sacked Mitchell Trubisky five times, with Nick Perry accounting for three of them!
Not quite sure who was responsible for this one...


  • Jordy’s such a great blocker. Look at him freeing up Ty Montgomery on his first-quarter touchdown run.



  • Davante Adams has been big this year and deserves his props, which I haven’t always given him.



  • Field goal unit needs to get its act together. They missed another kick this week when the holder dropped the snap -- or maybe it was a bad snap, I'm not sure. I’m less inclined to pin the blame on Mason Crosby than I am the long snapper and/or punter/holder.
Yeah, the punter just looks guilty.


  • Hey, thanks for your contribution to the team, Martellus Bennett! Glad we signed you instead of another tight end who knew how to catch passes. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Let’s recap: after Aaron Rodgers went down and the chances of the Packers winning the Super Bowl shrank rapidly, Bennett announced on Instagram that he would be retiring at the end of the season, no explanation. Then, for the first time in the season, he showed up with on the injury report with a shoulder injury and missed last week’s game against the Detroit Lions. The Packers cut him this week with a “failure to disclose physical condition” designation, which is an indication that they want their money back from this charlatan. Bennett then took to Instagram again and wrote a long screed calling out the Packers’ medical staff and Dr. Pat McKenzie for knowing that he had a serious shoulder injury and pressuring him to play when he needed shoulder surgery.
Black Unicorn Seriously GIF by Martellus Bennett



  • It took about five minutes for current and former Green Bay players -- from Aaron Rodgers to Jordy Nelson to Jermichael Finley and many others -- to come to Dr. McKenzie’s defense on social media. McKenzie and the Packers staff are known in the league for being extremely conservative with player injuries. What kind of jackass impugns a man’s professional reputation to the media when he knows that man can’t defend himself? Presumably, McKenzie isn’t allowed to discuss the details of Bennett’s injury situation, so he couldn’t dispute Bennett’s account, which is why it was nice that so many players defended the Pack’s medical staff.



  • But Bennett wasn’t done being a @$$h*!e. When Bennett was cut, because he’s a veteran, teams have an opportunity to claim him on waivers. Bennett and his agent told teams not to claim him because he was going to have surgery and retire. That is, until his former team, the New England Patriots, came calling. Suddenly, Marty’s shoulder was feeling a lot better -- so much so that he played for the Patriots on Sunday night! What a miraculous recovery. I hope the league will seriously investigate Bennett telling teams he was getting surgery in order to avoid being claimed by a bad team. (When veterans are released, teams have the opportunity to claim them based on the team’s record, with the worst teams getting the first opportunity and the better teams at the end of the line.) That seems seriously shady to lie like that. Here’s what Mr. Rogers thinks of Martellus Bennett:
Mr Rodgers GIF - Mr Rodgers GIFs


  • On Friday, wide receiver Maurice Harris was on the Washington Redskins’ practice squad. On Sunday he made this catch for his first career touchdown. Wowza.



  • Here’s our weekly video of Vontaze Burfict doing something dirty. He was ejected from Sunday’s game against Tennessee (somehow the first ejection of his career!) for making contact with an official when he swiped away the ref’s arm. The cause for the ejection seemed rather minor, but I don’t really care because here he is stepping on a Titans’ player’s arm right before the ejection. Jerk.

  • The team celebrations have been a lot of fun this year, and some of the best have come from the Pittsburgh Steelers’ receiving corps. On Sunday, they re-enacted last week’s WWE-style fight between Cincinnati’s AJ Green and Jacksonville’s Jalen Ramsey.


  • The CFL is getting in on the fun, too.


  • Minnesota quarterback Teddy Bridgewater did not play, but was active for the first game since January 2016 after suffering a devastating knee injury in training camp last year. Very happy for him, even if he is a Viking!

  • 49ers wide receiver Marquise Godwin had an absolutely devastating Sunday. He wife went into premature labor and their little baby boy died. Just a few hours later, Godwin scored a touchdown against the New York Giants in his team’s first win of the season and was obviously very emotional.


  • The New Orleans Saints put a beating on the formerly trendy Buffalo Bills, thanks in large part to running back Mark Ingram who had 131 yards and three touchdowns! 

  • So, I just became a huge Adrian Clayborn fan. The Atlanta Falcons defensive end recorded SIX sacks against the Dallas Cowboys in a 27-7 win! Hah! As much as the Cowboys missed finally-suspended running back Ezekiel Elliott, they missed left tackle Tyron Smith much more. His poor, poor backup was steamrolled by Clayborn the entire game. 




  • The Seattle Seahawks beat the Arizona Cardinals on Thursday night, but it was a costly win, as Richard Sherman ruptured his Achilles’ and is out for the season. I’m never happy to see anyone injured, so I’ll just stop there. 

  • The Cleveland Browns actually almost won a game against a good team! Alas, they still fell to the Detroit Lions 38-24. Kinda humiliating that the Browns scored more points against them then the Packers did. 
Cat GIF



  • I love Luke Kuechly. I love Jay Cutler interceptions. Luke Kuechly intercepting Jay Cutler pretty much turns me into the heart eyes emoji. I still want Kuechly to retire, but he is so good. He was giving Miami fits all Monday night.

  • It’s not just me -- the Packers’ photographer is obviously obsessed with Randall Cobb. Every week, there are soooo many Green Eyes photos. And I can’t say I blame him. 
I ain't complaining.





Monday, November 6, 2017

What Are You Doing, McCarthy??





  • Look, the Green Bay Packers are probably not going to make the playoffs. At this point, why NOT just let Hundley chuck the ball downfield? Why play conservative? We're not going to win that way, so let's see what Hundley’s got. I'd rather drives end with an interception than with a punt. Come on!
Image result for mike mccarthy


  • Hundley, for his part, can't miss wide open Jordy Nelsons like this.



  • I might still be stuck on bargaining. What do I have to sacrifice for a pass rusher? Just name it. Maybe this whole season is what we have to sacrifice to get a decent pass rusher in the draft. 

  • That was the most impressive field goal I have ever seen. No timeouts with 12 seconds left, they got the field goal unit on, lined up, and snapped the ball with one second left. Highlight of the game. Only highlight of the game. 





  • Ben McAdoo, you need to get control of your team, yo. A few weeks after the New York Giants coach suspended cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie for walking out of meeting, the Giants suspended cornerback Janoris Jenkins, who failed to show up to practice the day after the team’s bye.
Image result for ben mcadoo
Though perhaps this man losing a locker room is not too surprising. 



  • Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Eli Manning was benched when he was one game away from tying Peyton’s consecutive starts streak?? That’s a possibility after New York’s dreadful 1-7 start.



  • The confusion of the Manning Face is catching. Check out #88’s face as he tries to decipher whatever it is that Eli is trying to call.  



  • Oh no! Andrew Luck has been placed on IR for the remainder of the season. Luck has not played since having shoulder surgery in January, and I’m seriously worried for him. If he has to retire, maybe he can devote himself to his book club full time. 

  • Amazing shirt, Jay. 
Not even being sarcastic.




  • There are few things more unreasonably enjoyable than a perfectly downed punt, which the Kansas City Chiefs punter executed perfectly and which #80 was about to down on the one-inch line … until his idiot teammate ran right into him and knocked the ball into the endzone! C’mon!



  • So the Philadelphia Eagles are pretty good. Coming off a 7-9 season, they’re off to an impressive 8-1 start behind quarterback Carson Wentz. On Sunday, they hung up 51 points against the vaunted Denver Broncos defense.

  • Also scoring 51 points was the Los Angeles Rams! Their turnaround has been even more surprising than the Eagles. At 6-2, they’ve already surpassed their win total from last year (four). 

  • It felt like there were a lot of lopsided victories this week. Let’s hope this isn’t an emerging pattern for the league. Perhaps it’s because the league has become so quarterback-driven? Teams either have a QB or don't? Or is it because there's been so many big-name injuries this season?

  • I hope the Cowboys’ stupid stadium with its stupid window designs costs them a game one day. 




  • Everyone’s immediate reaction to the news of Houston Texans rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson tearing his ACL in practice this week was “noooooooooooooooooooo!” Tough break for such a rising star and likable guy. The Texans sure missed him on Sunday. Here’s their current quarterback Tom Savage on the last play of the game, down six with 0:02 left:


  • Hey, but at least the Colts won! Yay!

  • Unfortunately the Cowboys defeated the Kansas City Chiefs, but there was this awesome first-half-ending Alex Smith checkdown-sorta-Hail-Mary that was all Tyreek Hill.

  • The Los Angeles Rams faced an improbable 3rd-and-33. They went for 52 yards and a score.



  • Adrian Peterson, who was traded from New Orleans after a disappointing stint that saw little playing time, can’t complain about touches in Arizona -- he had 37 carries! That’s 20 more than the entire San Francisco team, whom the Cardinals defeated 20-10. I guess there’s a reason they call him All Day.

  • Goodness gracious, there were a lot of bad tempers out there this Sunday. Cincinnati Bengals receiver AJ Green -- who’s known as a quiet and level-headed guy -- went berserk and put Jacksonville Jaguars corner Jalen Ramsey in a chokehold. Ramsey is known for being a big ol’ loudmouth trash-talker, and he’s as obnoxious as he is good, but I gotta say, he shouldn’t have been ejected along with Green. And Green wasn't suspended!! I love Green, but the league should have suspended him. You can’t have that going on in the middle of a game.




  • Even worse was Mike Evans in Tampa Bay. Stupid Jameis Winston started it by poking a New Orleans Saints player, Marshon Lattimore. Lattimore shoved Winston and that should have been the end of it, but then Evans came flying in and tackled Lattimore, which was idiotic and dangerous. Somehow Evans wasn’t ejected!!! He was suspended, though. 


  • A fight also broke out in the Arizona Cardinals-San Francisco 49ers game, too, after the Niners took exception to a late hit on whoever the 49ers quarterback is. I don’t even think it was a late hit, but two Cardinals and a 49er were ejected by the end of the kerfuffle. 



  • How would you feel if you were a quarterback and you were missing four of your offensive lineman? Probably about as brave as Kirk Cousins here.

  • But Kirk had some pretty amazing moments, too. The Redskins weren’t just missing their offensive lineman. They were also missing two tight ends (and lost another during the game) and a wide receiver, among others -- on the road, against the Seattle Seahawks. The Redskins held a tenuous 10-8 lead late in the fourth, but Seattle got the ball back with two-and-a-half minutes left in the game,drove 71 yards downfield in 48 seconds, and scored a touchdown to take the lead. Not to be outdone, the Redskins immediately responded with a four-play, 35 second, game-winning drive. Hah! Great game, eh, Pete? (There wasn't an interception on the play. This is just an old gif that I relish and use as often as I can.)
Seattle's Heart Breaking


  • The Seahawks went for two because their kicker missed not one, not two, but THREE kicks in the first half. The Washington Redskins picked off the attempt and came surprisingly close to returning it for two points. Man, it would have been so cool if they had actually scored on this. 



  • There were a bunch of trades this week, just before the trade deadline that seemed really exciting, but now I’ve forgotten most of them. There are a few big and/or surprising ones that I do remember:
    • The 49ers traded for Patriots’ backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, which is good because I don’t even know the first name of San Fran’s current quarterback. I’m not going to look it up, either, because I doubt he’ll be in the league long enough to warrant space in my brain.
    • The Miami Dolphins got rid of running back Jay Ajayi, trading him to the already smoking hot Philadelphia Eagles for a draft pick.
      • Important sidenote: Ajayi’s real name is Oluwadamilola.
    • Carolina Panthers sent top receiver Kelvin Benjamin to Buffalo, presumably over concerns over his health?



  • This headline isn’t clever or even a pun. (Granted, it’s Reddit.) It’s like when advertisers ad “-tastic” or “-azing” to words that make no sense. “It’s grape-licious!” Also, you didn’t even spell the first half of Garoppolo’s name correctly.
How is this any better than saying, "Jimmy Garoppolo Goes West"?



  • There was also a very notable almost-trade. The Cleveland Browns were going back and forth with the Cincinnati Bengals over Cincinnati’s backup quarterback AJ McCarron. They didn’t come to an agreement until 3:55 pm EST, which is just five minutes before the trade deadline. The teams scrambled to sign and send their paperwork, which the Bengals did. The Browns did, too, only, they didn’t CC the NFL on the email, so the NFL did not receive all the paperwork by the deadline, so the trade didn’t happen. Man, the Browns are going to be the Browns forever. I feel like we, as a nation, should petition the league to allow the trade, just out of pity.



  • Back to Garoppolo. Everyone seems eager to start penciling in victories for the 49ers for next year, but why don’t we wait to see how Jimmy does before we crown him the team’s savior? First of all, San Fran will have to sign him, as his contract expires at the end of this season. Second, do the names Ryan Mallett, Brian Hoyer, Matt Cassel mean anything to anyone??

  • Whoa! Miami’s kicker not only kicked a perfect onside kick, but he recovered it too! I’m in awe. 



  • Awww! Lots of NFLers’ cute kids in Halloween costume!!





Drew Brees' son wanted to go as his dad's teammate, Ted Ginn Jr.,
so he got his hair braided to match Ginn.


  • And some cute NFLers in costumes. 
A post shared by Davante Adams (@taeadams) on


  • Allow me a quick exegesis on the hashtag #187. It’s not only a combination of their jersey numbers -- 17, 18, and 87 -- but it’s also slang for murder (a reference to California police codes) because they kill defenses. So it’s sweet -- aww they’ve combined their numbers like how high school girls come up with a mismash nickname for their clique -- but it’s also gangsta, because they’re so badass.

  • Jordy’s super lazy “doctor” costume just proves, yet again, that he is a man after my own heart. 










Monday, October 30, 2017

Yawn. Football Without the Packers Is Boring.



  • Bargaining would be much easier if I could convince myself that Aaron Rodgers had a chance of returning this season. The 13 screws he had put into his collarbone, however, really make that possibility rather slim. Still, there’s a chance, right? Some chance? Any? There has to be!




  • How does this bargaining work? I have a very large family, all of them with perfectly useless collarbones sitting in them. Maybe ….?


  • Does Martavis Bryant have an agent, manager, friend -- anyone -- who can help him out as far as how to behave as a professional and how not to burn bridges? The promising wide receiver was suspended all of last season due to multiple failed and missed drug tests. Earlier this month, it was reported that Bryant had requested a trade from the Steelers, but Bryant denied the report. A week later, however, he was publicizing his frustration with his reduced role online, which included an exchange with a fan where Bryant said that rookie teammate JuJu Schuster-Smith is “no where near better than me,” and alluded to the fact that he had requested a trade. Then he called in “sick” to a meeting. The Steelers, obviously none too pleased with Bryant, demoted him to the practice squad, and the relationship appears to be over. When asked if he was confident Bryant could contribute to the team later in the season, head coach Mike Tomlin said, “I’m not.”
No more hugs for Martavis.


  • By the way, JuJu Schuster-Smith is a) very good so far, and b) ONLY 20 YEARS OLD! And he’s a team player, as seen here taking the lowly role of the bench in Le'Veon Bell’s bench-pressing celebration.



  • It was a very frustrating Sunday for me. Not only were the Green Bay Packers not playing, but there were a lot of games that got my hopes up, only to disappoint. The Seahawks-Texans, the Cowboys-Redskins, and the Patriots-Chargers games all started off well or stayed close, but the villains all won in the end. Just my luck.




  • So Russell Wilson had a pretty good Sunday, I guess. Seattle squeaked out a 41-38 win over Houston, and Wilson accounted for all but three of Seattle’s 479 yards: 446 yards passing and 30 yards running. For rushing, the rest of his team managed three yards on 17 carries for a 0.18 yards-per-carry average, which translates to about six inches per carry.



  • The California Chargers might want to fix that patch of the field that’s apparently covered in ice. It’s make the Chargers look like Curly, Larry, and Moe. (Those are their names, right? I've never watched the Three Stooges.)




  • I can’t decide who is my favorite Houston Texans wide receiver. On the one hand, there’s DeAndre Hopkins, who’s a total stud, but on the other hand, there’s second-year man Will Fuller, who’s not only a Notre Dame boy (Go Irish!), but he missed the first three games of the season and is still leading the NFL in receiving touchdowns. 



  • The subreddit for the 3-4 Arizona Cardinals has become a bird-watching thread. 





  • Adding insult to injury: Chicago Bears tight end Zach Miller dislocated his knee on a touchdown which was then overturned on replay, even though it was clearly a completion in the endzone. I won’t show the video here because seeing Miller’s knee bending the opposite way than it’s supposed to is too gruesome, but trust me that it was a touchdown. Not only did Miller dislocate his knee, but he actually suffered arterial damage, as well, that required emergency surgery to try to “save” his leg! The surgery apparently went well, but that’s just awful. Here’s hoping for a swift and successful recovery.



  • Things got just a little heated on Thursday night. Miami Dolphins linebacker Kiko Alonso leveled a helmet-to-helmet hit on Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco as he slid after a short run. Flacco suffered a concussion and there was, predictably, a skirmish after the hit, with some people calling for Alonso’s suspension. You can see the clip for yourself below. It’s a tough hit that deserved to be flagged -- and I would have been okay with an ejection -- but it’s very hard to correctly predict when and at what angle a quarterback is going to slide. I think the league rightly did not suspend Alonso. Baltimore, however, levied its own punishment, scoring the next 27 points and shutting out Miami 40-0.










  • Jay Cutler was out for the Dolphins with broken ribs. Since he’s down, now seems like a perfect time to kick him. ESPN polled current players about QBs around the league. One of the questions was, “Who is the one QB you would NOT want as a teammate?” Jay beat out the runner-up by 36%.
Hope your ribs feel better for real, though, Jay.



  • Man, Julius Peppers is coming up on 38 years of life, and he’s still out there causing havoc. On Sunday, he forced his 49th career fumble and moved into fourth place on the all-time sacks list.  


  • What is it with former Packers players having great years?? Peppers is still playing well, and safety Micah Hyde, who signed with the Buffalo Bills in the offseason, is now leading the league in interceptions.  



  • One thing that was promised on this blog and has been sorely lacking is the presence of cats. Thursday Night Football stepped up where O&E has failed.




  • Shout-out to baltimoreravens.com for this fantastic dangling modifier. 




  • Backup New England Patriots’ quarterback and handsome devil Jimmy Garoppolo was traded to the San Francisco 49ers for a second-round pick. People are already building him up as San Fran’s savoir. Now, I like Garoppolo and hopes he does well, but let’s remember how the Patriots made Matt Cassel, Ryan Mallett, and Brian Hoyer look like stars. All these trades seem to end with Bill Belichick & Co. evilly laughing in some darkened boardroom as they count their draft picks. 




  • Ezekiel Elliott is back to being suspended (for now), as we all knew he would be. As I've said before, if players didn't want Roger Goodell to be judge, jury, and executioner, they shouldn't have signed the CBA.


  • Kansas City beat Denver on Monday night, leaving them as the only team in their division with a winning record. I suppose that's impressive or something, but you all know how I feel about the Chiefs.



  • Travis Benjamin’s decision-making skills are the headline here, but let’s give props to the refs for the perfectly synchronized signalling of the safety. Like a mirror image.




  • Philip Rivers should be credited for this strip. 




  • Hey, you guys remember Samkon Gado? He was a running back for the Packers quite briefly. Since leaving the NFL, he’s applied to medical school and is currently in residency as an Ear, Nose, Throat doctor. He is planning on using his skills to return to his native Nigeria to open a medical clinic. Pretty neat career!



  • I still totally, 100% have faith in Brett Hundley, but I have been watching this gif on a loop for the last hour.
 nfl green bay packers packers aaron rodgers GIF


  • But I’m okay.


  • Bring on the Lions and Monday Night Football!!




Monday, October 23, 2017

Slouching Toward .500




  • The next stage brings us to anger. I can do that.



  • I have no heart to be angry at Brett Hundley, so I shall make Mike McCarthy the focus of my rage. McCarthy himself took the blame, saying, “Pin it on the head coach.” I’m on board with that. The fact of the matter is that the Green Bay Packers are going to need some sort of X factor to win without Aaron Rodgers. One of McCarthy’s biggest weaknesses has always been his lack of creativity. When is the last time a defense playing the Packers saw something they didn’t expect? Something they hadn’t seen before? Give Hundley some help and throw some wrinkles in. 

  • Personally, I’d be okay with turnovers if they came on some shots down the field. I’d rather take the risk and let Hundley loose a bit than give him a conservative vanilla game plan to work with. It may be that the Pack isn’t comfortable enough with Hundley to do so, but if that’s the case, what have you been doing with him the last three years?


  • My ire toward McCarthy is mostly in his failure to adjust in the second half. The offensive line did a great job protecting Hundley in the first half of the game, but the New Orleans Saints adjusted and were getting a lot of pressure on poor Brett in the second half. McCarthy, I think, is way too slow to deviate from his plan long after it’s become clear that the plan isn’t working. 


  • I’m trying to give Hundley the benefit of the doubt here, but he’ll need to step up, too. 87 passing yards is not going to cut it, especially when your opponent is throwing for 331. The Green Bay defense took the ball away twice in the first quarter and the offense failed to score any points on those turnovers. They can’t miss on opportunities like that. Such a waste of this purty extend-stretch interception by Davon House.


  • The Saints were 8-of-15 on third downs, but it felt like more. The defense gave up a lot of big-yardage plays, especially in the second half.



  • Damarious Randall had another pick, which is great, but I’m still not super confident in him.


  • Um, you guys, it's going to be really hard to win if all our defensive backs are afraid to make hits. HaHa Clinton-Dix's recurring unwillingness to make tackles have sparked rumors that he's been playing hurt all season. If so, you're not helping us out by playing like this, buddy.


  • The offensive line injuries extend even to their coach, James Campen, who suffered a knee injury on the sidelines last week at Minnesota.


  • Despite the horrible numbers -- 12/25, 87 yards, 0 touchdowns, and 1 interception -- I still like Hundley and still have faith in him. He had a fairly good pocket presence, made plays with his feet, and above all, I love his steady and confident demeanor. 


  • Brett did have a rushing touchdown (and his first real Lambeau Leap). Jordy helped out with a nice block.



  • Does Hundley not wear a mouthguard? What is he thinking??


  • Aaron Jones had another 100-yard rushing day. So there’s that. Kinda resent this long TD run on the first drive, though, as it got my hopes for the game up.





  • I’m avoiding confronting my conflicted feelings of cheering for a Green Bay quarterback named Brett. Not yet ready to talk about that.


  • ♫ One is the loneliest number... ♫





  • Man, I feel like the Atlanta Falcons' psyche is broken. They look as if they have as little faith in themselves as I have in them.


  • My favorite part (and the only interesting part) of the New England-Atlanta game was the ambiance set by the fog. I kept expected Sam Spade to walk out in a trench coat. 




  • All of the Chicago Bears touchdowns were scored by rookie cornerback Eddie Jackson. He returned a Carolina Panthers fumble 75 yards for a score and then returned an interception 76 yards for a score. So, to summarize, the Chicago offense had 153 yards and Eddie Jackson had 151 yards.


  • Considering he turned the ball over three times, I guess Cam Newton had good reason to attend his post-game presser incognito.



  • Carolina and Chicago were two of seven -- seven!! -- teams that failed to score an offensive touchdown this week. The Browns (obvs), Titans, Cardinals, Colts, and Broncos joined them in this stat of shame. 


  • You can understand how the Indianapolis Colts failed to score when you see that the Jacksonville Jaguars sacked quarterback Jacoby Brisset 10 times. Daaaaaang. It must be hard to score when you spend the entire game in the dirt.

Ow.

  • Please note: that is not the Jaguars’ first 10-sack game this season. They did the same thing against the Texans Week 1. 


  • It doesn’t appear relief is on the horizon for the 2-5 Colts. Quarterback Andrew Luck, who had shoulder surgery back in January, had only recently started throwing again when Indianapolis had to shut him down due to soreness in his shoulder.



  • It wouldn’t be an NFL Sunday without Vontaze Burfict doing something dirty. Seriously, when will they just say “enough,” and kick him out of the league?? Here he is (#55, on the ground) kicking an opponent in the face.




  • UGH things just are not going my way! It’s bad enough that I don’t get to watch Aaron Rodgers, but now Jay Cutler’s out with broken ribs, so he’ll be missing some time.


  • The California/Whatever Chargers had 69-yard punt that was downed at the one-inch line. 




  • On the subject of punts, look at this beautifully executed fake punt by the Pittsburgh Steelers. From the poker-faced pre-snap to the perfect snap by the long snapper to the pitch and catch to Mike Tomlin’s self-satisfaction, it’s exemplary all the way through.




  • Noooooooooo! There are very few things that every NFL can agree on, and one of them is Joe Thomas. The Cleveland Browns left tackle missed his first-ever plays in his 11-year career. That’s right, after 10,363 consecutive snaps, Thomas suffered torn tricep that ended his season. Hopefully he can bounce back quickly. 


  • The Dallas Cowboys’ kicker extraordinaire Dan Bailey suffered a pulled groin that sidelined him, forcing safety Jeff Heath to take over kicking duties. I love it when this happens (not injuries, but a random player having to take kicks) because I love the sportsmanship of “Yeah, I’ve never really done this before and it could go really wrong, but sure, I’ll try.” Here’s Heath’s impressive kickoff.



  • Even better is Heath’s extra point attempt and his teammates’ excitement. (Listen with sound for both the kick hitting the upright and for the announcer's villainous laugh at the end.)


  • Things are going great for the Browns. They started rookie DeShone Kizer at quarterback and went 0-5. Then they benched Kizer (‘cause it’s his fault his perennially bad team is still bad), played a man named Kevin Hogan for a game. Kevin wasn’t great, so now they’re back to Kizer. Sunday, Kizer kept throwing interceptions, so they benched him again, this time for the third-string quarterback, Cody Kessler. 


  • When Kansas City Chief Marcus Peters took a cheap shot on Oakland Raider QB Derek Carr (who has a fracture in his back, but is still playing) Oakland running back/professional Crazy Man Marshawn Lynch came sprinting off the sideline to jumped into the ensuing scrum. When an official tried to break up the melee, Lynch shoved the official and was obviously ejected from the game. A one-game suspension was handed down. BUT WAIT! The latest hot take is that Lynch shouldn’t be suspended because he was trying to break things up between his teammates and his bestie Peters!!! That’s great; he still shoved an official.





  • There is no better ending to a game than winning on an untimed down, as the Raiders did on Thursday night, but that doesn’t capture how crazy it really was. With 23 seconds left in the game, Carr throws a 35-yard pass to Jared Cook that is called a touchdown. Replay shows that Cook was down just before the goal line though, so Oakland has the ball at the one-foot line with 0:07 left. Carr throws to Michael Crabtree for the touchdown!! …. but the touchdown is negated by Crabtree’s offensive pass interference. (I thought it was a good and obvious call.) So now we’re down to 0:03, 11 yards to go. Carr throws to Cook, goes off his hands, incomplete … but Kansas City is called for holding. The clock’s run out at this point, but the penalty means an untimed down from the 5-yard line. Carr hits Cordarrelle Patterson in the back of the endzone, but Patterson comes down out of bounds ...  but another defensive hold! Another untimed down! This time Carr hits Crabtree in the front corner of the endzone for a touchdown, no penalties. Raiders win 31-30! Wow.


  • I’m quite pleased with each and every Ezekiel Elliott suspension injunction because they’re just going to keep delaying it and delaying it and by the time the suspension inevitably goes into effect, it’ll be the playoffs. Fantastic!


  • Mitchell Trubisky is the heir-apparent to the Manning Face. We won’t have Mannings in the league forever, so it’s reassuring to see a young guy in line to take on that mantle. 




  • Didn’t Jimmy Graham used to be the most fearsome pass-catcher in the NFL? No more.



  • The Packers have a bye next week, so we can all hope that they get healthy and figure out some things before they host the Detroit Lions on Monday night.


  • I’m not holding out hope the Aaron Rodgers can return this season -- I’d rather the Packers err on the far, far side of caution with him -- but at least he’s on the road to recovery.

Get well, Aaron!