EVERYBODY PANIC!

• That was pretty much the worst thing in the world. It's one thing to lose to two undefeated division leaders on the road; it’s another to lose to the league-worst, last-in-every-category team at home. Normally I’m quite opposed to fans booing their teams, but the rarity was well deserved at Lambeau on Sunday.

• Sunday broke a 24-year streak of the Detroit Lions losing in Wisconsin.

• What was the point of the football gods putting us through that brief yet intense hope of a comeback? I mean, a lot of weird things had to happen for Green Bay to even have a chance at the win. After the Packers cut the lead to two with just under six minutes left, their defense let the Lions take four minutes off the clock on their way to the a touchdown. Game over -- BUT WAIT! Detroit kicker Matt Prater missed the extra point -- his second missed PAT of the game. (He should probably brush up his resume.) So the score was 18-10 and the Packers still somehow had a chance. The Packers get the ball back with under two minutes and need to execute a two-minute drill. On the first play of the drive, James Starks fumbles the ball and Detroit recovers. Game over -- BUT WAIT! Replay shows that Starks’ elbow hit the ground before he fumbled. Whew! The Packers continue their drive and, aided by a roughing the passer call, score a touchdown. All they need is a two-point conversion to tie the game!!! They fail. With only 32 seconds left, pretty much game over -- BUT WAIT! Green Bay onside kicks and recovers! Oh my gosh! Could it be?!? Could a victory be salvaged from this mess of a performance? A 52-yard field goal is a total possibility with Mason Crosby, who’s one of the best kickers in the league! This could really happen! Crosby missed the kick -- game over. Why did the football gods do that to us??

So cruel.

• As if the missed field goal wasn’t anticlimactic enough, Crosby’s kick never had a chance. Whatever happened -- whether Crosby’s plant foot slipped, his foot hit the turf before the ball, or holder Tim Masthay’s off-hand hit the ball -- the kick never even got close to the uprights.

• The game was a mess from start to finish, in just about every category, like the NINE straight punts by the Packers after scoring a field goal on the opening drive. The most concerning element to me, however, was the team’s total lack of confidence and/or energy. None of the players looked like they thought they could win. I’m not sure if that’s on the players or the coaches, but they need to find some little bit of swagger somewhere and bring it next week when they face the NFC North-leading Minnesota Vikings.

• Aaron Rodgers most notably looked uncomfortable, and I have to think that that stems from a lack of trust -- he doesn’t trust his receivers, he doesn’t trust his protection, he doesn’t trust his running game, and I don’t know that he trusts the plays being called.

• I know Eddie Lacy’s poor play and injuries have led to running back James Starks’ promotion, but I, for one, can’t wait till Lacy is back on the field. Starks is so terrible in pass protection and can’t pick up many yards after contact.

• With Minnesota at 7-2 playing 6-3 Green Bay next week, and the 4-5 Chicago Bears playing against somebody named Brock Osweiler next week, the NFC North all of a sudden got a lot more interesting.

• Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler had two 80+ yard touchdowns against the St. Louis Rams. He must be pretty good, huh?

• Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck is out for at least a few weeks with a lacerated kidney (ow). It must be the “in” injury, as San Diego receiver Keenan Allen was placed on IR last week with the same. Poor Andrew. The good news is that means more Matt Hasselbeck!

• The Miami Dolphins took a safety in their third consecutive games! This week, it was thanks to the absolute worst kick return of all time. Returner Damien Williams muffed the catch in the back of the endzone, was able to wrangle it, and set to take off, when his teammate wisely counseled him to take the touchback. Williams heeded the advice, but not in time, pulling up short, slipping, and skidding to about the one-inch line.

• Pittsburgh Steelers’ quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was out with a mid-foot sprain, so backup Landry Jones started on Sunday. Jones lasted about four minutes before he suffered a leg injury, so in came …. Ben Roethlisberger, backing himself up! The foot sprain didn’t seem to do much to hold back Roethlisberger, who threw for 379 yards on his way to a 30-6 win over the Cleveland Browns.

• It was really tough to watch Peyton Manning break the record for most passing yards in NFL history on his first throw of Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs and then get benched later in the game. The injured Manning was 5-for-20 with 35 yards, zero touchdowns, four interceptions, and a 0.0 passer rating.

Where was this Manning 2 weeks ago when he was playing Green Bay?

• Baltimore Ravens linebacker Elvis Dumervil earned goat of the week status by managing to screw Baltimore’s 22-20 lead over the Jacksonville Jaguars with zero seconds on the clock. Jacksonville had the ball with 14 seconds left and a last chance for a Hail Mary-type play. Dumervil sacked Jacksonville quarterback Blake Bortles as time expired, which would have sealed the victory, except that he grabbed Bortles’ facemask on the sack. The Jaguars got an untimed down and 15 yards, which put them in field goal range. They made the field goal and won 23-22.

• The Washington Redskins destroyed the hapless New Orleans Saints 47-14. Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins was 20-of-25 for 324 yards, four touchdowns, no interceptions. In honor of his career day, I obviously have to pull out this clip one more time.

• The highlight of my Sunday was this commercial. Oh, Jordy, I miss you so.