Monday, November 6, 2017

What Are You Doing, McCarthy??





  • Look, the Green Bay Packers are probably not going to make the playoffs. At this point, why NOT just let Hundley chuck the ball downfield? Why play conservative? We're not going to win that way, so let's see what Hundley’s got. I'd rather drives end with an interception than with a punt. Come on!
Image result for mike mccarthy


  • Hundley, for his part, can't miss wide open Jordy Nelsons like this.



  • I might still be stuck on bargaining. What do I have to sacrifice for a pass rusher? Just name it. Maybe this whole season is what we have to sacrifice to get a decent pass rusher in the draft. 
  • That was the most impressive field goal I have ever seen. No timeouts with 12 seconds left, they got the field goal unit on, lined up, and snapped the ball with one second left. Highlight of the game. Only highlight of the game. 

  • Ben McAdoo, you need to get control of your team, yo. A few weeks after the New York Giants coach suspended cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie for walking out of meeting, the Giants suspended cornerback Janoris Jenkins, who failed to show up to practice the day after the team’s bye.
Image result for ben mcadoo
Though perhaps this man losing a locker room is not too surprising. 

  • Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Eli Manning was benched when he was one game away from tying Peyton’s consecutive starts streak?? That’s a possibility after New York’s dreadful 1-7 start.

  • The confusion of the Manning Face is catching. Check out #88’s face as he tries to decipher whatever it is that Eli is trying to call.  

  • Oh no! Andrew Luck has been placed on IR for the remainder of the season. Luck has not played since having shoulder surgery in January, and I’m seriously worried for him. If he has to retire, maybe he can devote himself to his book club full time. 
  • Amazing shirt, Jay. 
Not even being sarcastic.


  • There are few things more unreasonably enjoyable than a perfectly downed punt, which the Kansas City Chiefs punter executed perfectly and which #80 was about to down on the one-inch line … until his idiot teammate ran right into him and knocked the ball into the endzone! C’mon!



  • So the Philadelphia Eagles are pretty good. Coming off a 7-9 season, they’re off to an impressive 8-1 start behind quarterback Carson Wentz. On Sunday, they hung up 51 points against the vaunted Denver Broncos defense.
  • Also scoring 51 points was the Los Angeles Rams! Their turnaround has been even more surprising than the Eagles. At 6-2, they’ve already surpassed their win total from last year (four). 
  • It felt like there were a lot of lopsided victories this week. Let’s hope this isn’t an emerging pattern for the league. Perhaps it’s because the league has become so quarterback-driven? Teams either have a QB or don't? Or is it because there's been so many big-name injuries this season?
  • I hope the Cowboys’ stupid stadium with its stupid window designs costs them a game one day. 
  • Everyone’s immediate reaction to the news of Houston Texans rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson tearing his ACL in practice this week was “noooooooooooooooooooo!” Tough break for such a rising star and likable guy. The Texans sure missed him on Sunday. Here’s their current quarterback Tom Savage on the last play of the game, down six with 0:02 left:


  • Hey, but at least the Colts won! Yay!
  • Unfortunately the Cowboys defeated the Kansas City Chiefs, but there was this awesome first-half-ending Alex Smith checkdown-sorta-Hail-Mary that was all Tyreek Hill.

  • The Los Angeles Rams faced an improbable 3rd-and-33. They went for 52 yards and a score.

  • Adrian Peterson, who was traded from New Orleans after a disappointing stint that saw little playing time, can’t complain about touches in Arizona -- he had 37 carries! That’s 20 more than the entire San Francisco team, whom the Cardinals defeated 20-10. I guess there’s a reason they call him All Day.
  • Goodness gracious, there were a lot of bad tempers out there this Sunday. Cincinnati Bengals receiver AJ Green -- who’s known as a quiet and level-headed guy -- went berserk and put Jacksonville Jaguars corner Jalen Ramsey in a chokehold. Ramsey is known for being a big ol’ loudmouth trash-talker, and he’s as obnoxious as he is good, but I gotta say, he shouldn’t have been ejected along with Green. And Green wasn't suspended!! I love Green, but the league should have suspended him. You can’t have that going on in the middle of a game.




  • Even worse was Mike Evans in Tampa Bay. Stupid Jameis Winston started it by poking a New Orleans Saints player, Marshon Lattimore. Lattimore shoved Winston and that should have been the end of it, but then Evans came flying in and tackled Lattimore, which was idiotic and dangerous. Somehow Evans wasn’t ejected!!! He was suspended, though. 


  • A fight also broke out in the Arizona Cardinals-San Francisco 49ers game, too, after the Niners took exception to a late hit on whoever the 49ers quarterback is. I don’t even think it was a late hit, but two Cardinals and a 49er were ejected by the end of the kerfuffle. 



  • How would you feel if you were a quarterback and you were missing four of your offensive lineman? Probably about as brave as Kirk Cousins here.

  • But Kirk had some pretty amazing moments, too. The Redskins weren’t just missing their offensive lineman. They were also missing two tight ends (and lost another during the game) and a wide receiver, among others -- on the road, against the Seattle Seahawks. The Redskins held a tenuous 10-8 lead late in the fourth, but Seattle got the ball back with two-and-a-half minutes left in the game,drove 71 yards downfield in 48 seconds, and scored a touchdown to take the lead. Not to be outdone, the Redskins immediately responded with a four-play, 35 second, game-winning drive. Hah! Great game, eh, Pete? (There wasn't an interception on the play. This is just an old gif that I relish and use as often as I can.)
Seattle's Heart Breaking


  • The Seahawks went for two because their kicker missed not one, not two, but THREE kicks in the first half. The Washington Redskins picked off the attempt and came surprisingly close to returning it for two points. Man, it would have been so cool if they had actually scored on this. 
  • There were a bunch of trades this week, just before the trade deadline that seemed really exciting, but now I’ve forgotten most of them. There are a few big and/or surprising ones that I do remember:
    • The 49ers traded for Patriots’ backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, which is good because I don’t even know the first name of San Fran’s current quarterback. I’m not going to look it up, either, because I doubt he’ll be in the league long enough to warrant space in my brain.
    • The Miami Dolphins got rid of running back Jay Ajayi, trading him to the already smoking hot Philadelphia Eagles for a draft pick.
      • Important sidenote: Ajayi’s real name is Oluwadamilola.
    • Carolina Panthers sent top receiver Kelvin Benjamin to Buffalo, presumably over concerns over his health?

  • This headline isn’t clever or even a pun. (Granted, it’s Reddit.) It’s like when advertisers ad “-tastic” or “-azing” to words that make no sense. “It’s grape-licious!” Also, you didn’t even spell the first half of Garoppolo’s name correctly.
How is this any better than saying, "Jimmy Garoppolo Goes West"?

  • There was also a very notable almost-trade. The Cleveland Browns were going back and forth with the Cincinnati Bengals over Cincinnati’s backup quarterback AJ McCarron. They didn’t come to an agreement until 3:55 pm EST, which is just five minutes before the trade deadline. The teams scrambled to sign and send their paperwork, which the Bengals did. The Browns did, too, only, they didn’t CC the NFL on the email, so the NFL did not receive all the paperwork by the deadline, so the trade didn’t happen. Man, the Browns are going to be the Browns forever. I feel like we, as a nation, should petition the league to allow the trade, just out of pity.



  • Back to Garoppolo. Everyone seems eager to start penciling in victories for the 49ers for next year, but why don’t we wait to see how Jimmy does before we crown him the team’s savior? First of all, San Fran will have to sign him, as his contract expires at the end of this season. Second, do the names Ryan Mallett, Brian Hoyer, Matt Cassel mean anything to anyone??

  • Whoa! Miami’s kicker not only kicked a perfect onside kick, but he recovered it too! I’m in awe. 



  • Awww! Lots of NFLers’ cute kids in Halloween costume!!



Drew Brees' son wanted to go as his dad's teammate, Ted Ginn Jr.,
so he got his hair braided to match Ginn.


  • And some cute NFLers in costumes. 
A post shared by Davante Adams (@taeadams) on


  • Allow me a quick exegesis on the hashtag #187. It’s not only a combination of their jersey numbers -- 17, 18, and 87 -- but it’s also slang for murder (a reference to California police codes) because they kill defenses. So it’s sweet -- aww they’ve combined their numbers like how high school girls come up with a mismash nickname for their clique -- but it’s also gangsta, because they’re so badass.
  • Jordy’s super lazy “doctor” costume just proves, yet again, that he is a man after my own heart. 







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