Monday, December 18, 2017

So Much for the Playoffs


  • It was a rough comeback for Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay’s 31-24 loss to the Carolina Panthers. I would have been totally fine with the Packers losing, but did they have to cut the Panther’s lead to one score with three minutes left and then recover the onside kick before losing the game? That seemed unnecessarily cruel to fans.
  • It was a wonder that Green Bay was even in it at the end, considering how their defense played, plus having four turnovers on the game. The Panthers had six first downs on the opening drive, during which Christian McCaffrey faced little-to-no resistance from the Packers defense.
Don't know when exactly in the game this picture was taken, but I know
that there's about a 0% chance that HaHa Clinton-Dix made the tackle.


  • There were some offensive highlights, however, including this beautiful cutback by Green Eyes to get into the endzone.

  • Despite the three interceptions, Rodgers looked pretty darn good, and it was a bittersweet reminder of what having a good quarterback feels like. 


  • Here’s a weird and ominous photo of Aaron Rodgers in the dark that fits my mood. 
This is from the actual game day photos on the Packers website...


  • What was that crap from Thomas Davis taking out Davante Adams following a Green Bay interception?? Davis is generally well respected and liked in the league, and he has offered an apology, but also said he wasn’t trying to hurt Adams. One might be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, except for the fact of his arms. Look at where his arms are on that hit. They are at his side -- he’s not trying to tackle him; he’s headbutting him. 

  • Davis was suspended for two games (could be reduced to one on appeal), but how was he not ejected from the game? His dirty and illegal hit knocked Adams out of the game, which had huge repercussions on the outcome -- Geronimo Allison isn’t in the game on that last possession with Adams healthy, and if Allison doesn’t fumble the ball, Packers still have a chance at forcing overtime. Who’s to say what would have happened, of course, but it seems grossly unfair that Davis gets to stay in the game and contribute for his team while the Packers are stuck with Geronimo Allison because of him. 


  • This is the second time this season that an opponent has taken a dangerous, dangerous shot at Adams’ head. No one can blame him for being angry about it. Having two concussions in a season is a big concern; the Packers should shut him down along with Rodgers.


  • So, Jason Spriggs is back to being terrible. The right tackle allowed two sacks on Rodgers on a crucial fourth-down drive, including a fourth-down sack that gave Carolina the ball back. 
"Oops."

  • If Panther’ receiver Devin Funchess wants to grow his personal brand, he should have his own motto: “Bunches of Fun-chess.”


  • Welp, the Green Bay Packers will not be in the playoffs for the first time in nine years. It’s going to be a very strange postseason without the Green and Gold. It’s very painful for me, as you can imagine, but it’s for the best. Now we can shut down Aaron Rodgers and just concentrate on our draft picks. 
Trying Not To Cry After The Final Rose GIF by The Bachelorette

  • Here’s Randall in a tux to soften the blow.


  • Antonio Brown became the first receiver in history with five consecutive 100-catch seasons, on Sunday, but suffered a serious leg injury. His partially torn calf muscle sounds extremely painful, but experts whose calf muscles are currently intact assure us that he’ll be back for the postseason, no biggie. 


  • How adorable is Tennessee Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota? Here he is opening up his weekly media availability by apologizing to reporters for being short with them after last week’s game. 

  • I was curious and had to look up just exactly what this “rude and inappropriate” interview looked like. He was curt and said “pissed,” which is apparently what drew his mother’s ire.


  • Minnesota quarterback Teddy Bridgewater played in a game for the first time in almost two calendar years. It was pretty cool to see how happy his teammates and the fans were to see him on the field. (It was also pretty funny and anti-climactic when he threw an interception on his first pass.) 
  • Last week, New York Giants cornerback Eli Apple was inactive for the game and ran afoul of league rules by tweeting from the bench. Okay, fine, that’s not smart, but it’s not egregious … until he retweeted a highlight of the Dallas Cowboys Rod Smith (Apple’s college teammate) scoring the touchdown that sealed the Cowboys’ victory over the Giants. Why would you do that???


  • That Pittsburgh-New England game ending was the biggest pile of horse manure I’ve ever seen. Don’t tell me Jesse James didn’t score. The common take on this is that, while the rule is terrible, it was the right call, but I’m not convinced. THE BALL IS ALLOWED TO MOVE! The ball is allowed to move when it hits the ground as long as the receiver maintains control. The ball definitely moves, but I’m not sold James lost control and I certainly don’t think it was “clear and obvious” enough to overturn.


  • I should step up and be honest that I’m the reason that Pittsburgh touchdown was overturned. I jinxed the Steelers. I was watching their incredible last-minute comeback, and I started typing up my notes, revelling in the despised Patriots second consecutive loss, laughing joyously to myself at the thought of the faces of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and Rob Gronkowski. I shouldn’t have started celebrating until the clock was at zero. I should have known that the officials will do whatever is necessary to assist the Patriots to victory.


  • Note to angry Twitter trolls: check your spelling first.



  • I will actually somewhat defend the “process of the catch” rule. I think it can and should be tweaked (see option #1 here), but I also think people don’t necessarily understand the repercussions of just saying two-feet-plus-possession is a catch. My concern with that approach is that it’s going to highly, highly incentivize hitting a receiver as hard as is physically possible in order to force a fumble. How, for example, would you square that approach with the defenseless receiver possession? If a receiver goes up in the air for a catch, for example, what is the defense supposed to do? (Kind of how it is now, but the “process of the catch” at least gives the defender a tiny window to defend the catch.) I think changing the rule would lead to a lot more dangerous hits and injuries.


  • One rule that NO ONE can possible defend is the weird fumble-out-of-the-endzone-and-apparently-that’s-a-turnover rule. That's what cost the Oakland Raiders the game against the Dallas Cowboys. The rule doesn’t make sense and no one likes it or understands it. The idea is to penalize the fumble so players can’t just lunge for the endzone without having to protect the ball (a team shouldn’t ever benefit from fumbling the ball, but the punishment is way out of proportion to the crime. As many people have proposed, instead of turning the ball over, it should be something like a 15-yard penalty (and the down would be lost), which is a significant penalty for fumbling, but not so outrageous as taking the ball away from the offense. (Even this fix I have a problem with. If the ball hits the pylon, why isn’t that a touchdown, play over??)



  • The Blake Bortles jokes just write themselves.
Playoffs, lets go!


  • Here’s untamed beast Ndamukong Suh jumping offsides and instead of stopping because it's a dead ball, plowing right on and punching Tyrod Taylor in the head.



  • The California Chargers lost to the Kansas City Chiefs 30-13. What did I tell you about believing in the Chargers??


  • What in tarnation was going on with the Dallas Cowboys’ first-down measurement against the Oakland Raiders?? 4th-and-inches, Dak Prescott dove for the first down and he was really, really close. The refs brought out the chains for measurement and even then, it was tough to tell. So ref Gene Steratore took out an index card to see if it could fit in between the ball and the chain. It did … and he signaled for first down.



  • But, but, but -- there was obviously space there…? I don’t get it at all. Gene, can you explain?



  • Jason Garrett took the words right outta my mouth.


  • (I actually think Dak got the first and the spot they gave him was a tiny bit short.)


  • I’m actually very happy for the Jacksonville Jaguars, who made the playoffs for the first time in 10 years. They used to be a joke and now they’ve put together a very formidable team (at least a very formidable defense).  


  • With the Cleveland Browns at 0-14, do we cheer for them to get a pity win? Or for the accomplishment of 0-16? If anyone could lose to them, it’s the Chicago Bears, so next Sunday’s their last chance. (They play the Steelers in Week 17, and that ain’t happening.) While I can appreciate the beauty and symmetry of 0-16, I really would like the Browns to have something positive happen to them this year. And I would like it to come at the expense of the Bears.


  • Rams running back Todd Gurley had three touchdowns … in the first half. They came against the Seattle Seahawks, which makes Gurley something of a national hero. Where shall we put the statue of him?


  • Ooooh, drama in the Seahawks’ locker room! Safety Earl Thomas, who is out for the season, commented on teammate Bobby Wagner’s play on Sunday. Wagner was playing through a hamstring injury that was obviously hobbling him. When asked about the mounting injuries, Thomas commended Wagner’s toughness, but said he didn’t think Wagner should have been playing because he was so limited. Wagner then tweeted (and deleted): “E keep my name out yo mouth. Stop being jealous of other people success. I still hope you keep balling bro.” 
Angela Lansbury Popcorn GIF


  • Man, every team needs a little of what the Philadelphia Eagle special teams has. On Sunday against the Giants, Philly blocked a field goal, an extra point, and a punt!!


  • Now that the Packers are out, I’m going to have to find some way to survive the rest of the season and the playoffs.
Christmas Happy Holidays GIF by Frank Sinatra








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