Hahaha! Pete Carroll & the Seattle Seahawks are 0-2! Hahahaha!

• Very nice win by the Green Bay Packers over the Seattle Seahawks! After I spent all week moping over their worrisome rush defense (especially after they lost starting inside linebacker Sam Barrington for the year), the defense came to play! Green Bay held Marshawn Lynch to just 41 yards on 15 carries. Lynch was tackled for a loss a career-high five times on Sunday night.

• There were a number of Packers players who had strong performances -- B.J. Raji and Ty Montgomery stood out to me -- but the game ball probably belongs to linebacker Jayrone Elliott, who had an interception (which he almost fumbled away, but recovered -- whew!) and a forced fumble, both in the fourth quarter.

Speaking of Ty Montgomery, look how ridiculously ripped his arms are!

• But Pete Carroll and the Seahawks thought they recovered the fumble on Elliott’s interception. (They didn’t.) The poor ‘Hawks were just so "confused" that the refs didn’t give them the ball! Awww.

"Waaaaaaaaaahhh!"

• It was not a good night to be an ankle in Green Bay. Defensive tackle Josh Boyd is out for the season after breaking a bone in his ankle; starting running back Eddie Lacy left the game with a low-ankle sprain (timetable TBD); and receiver Dante Adams also suffered an ankle sprain, though he returned to the game in a hobbled state.

• I saw some pre-game pundits saying Sunday night’s game was a “must-win” for Seattle. LOL. I’m over the moon that Seattle’s 0-2, but I don’t think you can have a “must-win” game when you’re 1/16th into your season.

• Nearly all of the Packers’ big gains came on free plays. Considering how incredibly successful Aaron Rodgers and the Pack are doing that, I don’t understand why more quarterbacks don’t try it more often. I always see other offenses just stop their play when there’s a pre-snap penalty on the defense. It’s a free play, guys!!

• Here’s one such play, a touchdown to the resurrected James Jones. This throw is incredible! Look at how insane the window is!!

• Mason Crosby the leading scorer in Packers history! He had a great game, making four field goals to keep Green Bay in the game during the big lull in in their offense.

Remember when I was the only one defending Crosby
during his slump? Vindicated!!

• Aaron Rodgers has the highest career passer rating at home -- 112.7. That’s 12 points higher than the next highest quarterbacks, those losers Peyton Manning and Steve Young, who were barely able to crack triple digits.

• Rodgers has also gone over 450 passes without an interception thrown at home. I’ll give you 40 chances to guess which active player has the next longest streak (at a pitiful 169). Give up?

• Say what you want about Pete Carroll, but he has some great hands. This might be the catch of the week -- he catches it one-handed, left-handed, across his body!

• The Seahawks have had some drama already this season, between Marshawn Lynch’s mom calling for the offensive coordinator to be fired to starting safety Kam Chancellor holding out. Regarding the Chancellor situation, I generally have a lot of sympathy for players holding out for new contracts (if you want to know why, see: Murray, DeMarco), but Kam is being ridiculous. He signed his contract extension in April 2013, so he’s only completed one season under that deal. There’s no question that Chancellor deserves to be paid with the top safeties in the league, but If he wasn’t happy with the extension, he should have done a one-year deal and tried again this summer.

In his defense, he can do this. 

• As far as I understand, Chancellor is not actually asking for a new deal; he’s asking for a new distribution of money over the course of his current deal. He wants money that’s been backloaded to the last year of the deal (2017) moved forward to next year. Since the current structure of backloading money to the later years of the contract is all in the owners’ favor, Chancellor’s position doesn’t seem too unreasonable on the surface. A couple of problems with it, though: 1) if that’s what you wanted, Kam, you should have negotiated that when you were, ya know, negotiating the contract; 2) the Seahawks don’t want to agree to this because if they do, it’s widely expected that Chancellor will then ask for a new deal after the 2016 season, so Chancellor wants to frontload the deal so that he can holdout for a new deal sooner; 3) the two sides were reportedly less than $1 million apart in their current negotiations, but Chancellor has already lost $2.1 million in fines and lost wages from not playing any games this season -- THAT MAKES NO SENSE, KAM.

Russell Wilson seems to like Kam, though. A lot. A lot, a lot.

• So JJ Watt is apparently looking for a girlfriend? (MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) But he doesn't want you to worry about him.

Yeah, I'm not too worried. When he wants a wife,
he can pretty much just point and beckon.

• So many crazy turnarounds in Week 2:
• The St. Louis Rams, who beat Seattle last week, lost to the Redskins this week.
• Tennessee looked great in Week 1, but lost to the Cleveland Browns (who lost last week to the NY Jets).
• The Tampa Bay Bucs lost to those Titans last week, then beat the New Orleans Saints this week.
• The San Francisco 49ers beat the Minnesota Vikings 20-3 last week; then got destroyed by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
• After last week's loss to the Niners, the Vikings beat the Detroit Lions.
• The Raiders -- the Oakland Raiders! -- beat the Baltimore Ravens after losing to the Cincinnati Bengals.
• The New York Giants lost to the Dallas Cowboys after blowing a double-digit lead last week, and this week …. oh …. they blew a double-digit lead.

• JJ Watt reached 60 career sacks. Second-fastest player to do so after Reggie White.

• Oh, Jay. Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is out at least two weeks with a hamstring injury. He suffered the injury when he was -- you'll never guess -- trying to chase down the guy he just threw an interception to. You would think by now that the Bears would run him through some tackling drills in practice to prepare for the inevitable.

• This GIF isn’t as good as it would be if it were Cutler instead of backup Jimmy Clausen, but it’s still pretty good. It's like the opposite of a goal-line push. A goal-line escape?

• The Chicago Bears had 170 YARDS IN PENALTIES against the Arizona Cardinals.

• If you can tear your eyes away from Randall Cobb’s beautiful face, look how messed up that reporter’s finger is!!

The reporter is a former player, so I guess it all makes sense. 

• Before signing inside linebacker Joe Thomas on Monday, the Packers had just three players on their roster who have ever played for another team. Every other team has at least 16. That’s crazy!

• I couldn't find a GIF of this, but you need to watch this video of a New Orleans defender (#40) about 10 yards behind the catch and completely lost. It's kinda sad, but really funny.

• There’s a Baltimore Ravens player named Crockett Gillmore. I feel like his parents couldn't decide what to name him and threatened each other that if they couldn’t agree on a name, they would name him “Crockett,” but they were both really stubborn and neither of them would blink, so they were both like, “Okay, fine. Crockett it is. I don’t care. Whatever. I like the name ‘Crockett.’”

• Remember Pacman Jones trying to kill Amari Cooper last week?

• And remember how the NFL didn’t suspend him for trying to kill Cooper? Well, let's check in with Jones and see what he had to say about the situation:

Let see how that holds up in court.

• So poor Tony Romo broke his collarbone again, leaving the Dallas Cowboys without their starting quarterback, their top receiver, and their starting cornerback. Let’s see if Jerry Jones tries to force Romo back onto the field by telling reporters that he expects Romo will play next week like he did last year when Romo broke his back.

• Don’t worry, though: the ‘Boys have Brandon Weeden at backup.

• Philadelphia quarterback Sam Bradford running away from defensive pressure is the exact same as how I looked as a child running away from my siblings who were trying to beat me up: run away in slow circles, then fall down.

• How does a kicker get an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty ... when he's not even on the field? Dallas’ Dan Bailey found a way.

• Here’s a stat for you: “At half, DeMarco Murray leads the Eagles rushing with 1 yard.”

• Murray, after being run into the ground by the Cowboys and then not re-signed, is having a rough time in Philadelphia, along with the rest of the 0-2 Eagles. After enjoying a year behind the Cowboys’ fierce offensive line, Murray was getting little-to-no help from Philly’s line, repeatedly getting tackled behind the line of scrimmage.

• How DeMarco Murray must have felt looking across the field at his former offensive linemen:

• It probably doesn’t matter since Eli Manning is still their quarterback, but I was not aware of this little factoid: “The starry New York Giants receiving duo of Victor Cruz and Odell Beckham Jr. have been on the field together for one full professional game, the New York-Atlanta game on Oct. 5, 2014.”

• If I were a casting agent in the 1990s, I would cast Mike Florio as my corporate villain who is trying to raze the protagonist children’s community playground to build high-rise condos.

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddlesome kids!"

• Cleveland Browns receiver Travis Benjamin is off to quite a start. He has over 200 yards after two weeks -- all from six catches! And that’s not even counting his 164 yards returning punts!

• I was going to say that this Julio Jones catch was the catch of the week (outside Pete Carroll's sideline catch, I mean):

• But then I saw Danny Amendola laying out for this:

• Times I said, “I miss Jordy” during this week’s game: 8.

Can We Play the Bears Every Week?

• Jay Cutler at quarterback for the Chicago Bears is such a safety blanket for Green Bay Packers fans. I tend to get very emotionally caught up in Packers games and have been known to stress out, but when the ball’s in Jay’s hands, I feel a sense of calm come over me. I have faith. I trust in Jay. I know he’ll throw the ball to us.

• Claaaaaaaaaaaaaayy Matthews with the pick and great return. The boy looked fast!!

The Greek God of the Gridiron.

• Also, Clay got married and had a kid over the summer. How does someone who stalks the Packers with the dedication that I do, not find this out until last week?? I'm ashamed of myself.

• Eddie Lacy, who is known to brag about his receiving skills in practice, put them on display with this beautiful, reaching, one-handed catch off a pitch from and under-pressure Aaron Rodgers.

We'll just call you Eddie Moss from now on.

• A big thank-you shout out to the New York Giants for cutting James Jones from their team in time for Green Bay to sign him. He caught the Packers’ first two touchdowns of the seasons as if he’d never been away.

Welcome back, JJ.

• I’m glad the Giants didn’t need you.

• Now that we’ve celebrated, let’s all start worrying about how much harder that game was than it should have been. There’s no need to overreact after one game, but the defense did not look good. Chicago running back Matt Forte faced little resistance in gaining any of his 141 yards.

A weak Green Bay run defense?? Shocking, I know.

• Also, safety Morgan Burnett needs to get healthy in a hurry since no one else in the secondary can make a tackle. Sam Shields, in particular, had some rough plays, whiffing on more than one tackle. (Though I still am totes a Shields apologist. I love that guy.)

• Commentor Joe Buck dyed his hair an awful shade of red and made some attempt at facial hair. I am not able to hazard a guess as to why he would have chosen to do this. Here’s what he looked like last year:

• Here’s what he looked like on Sunday:

This pic doesn't do justice to just  how terrible
his at-home dye job color was. It was like a neon rust color. 

• Marcus Mariota’s debut must have all (both?) Tennessee Titans fans pretty keyed up. Mariota was 13-of-16 for 209 yards, 4 touchdowns, no interceptions, and a perfect 158.3 passer rating. Just keep in mind, Titans fans (fan?), that they were playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

• As great a game Mariota had, things were a little bit rougher on the other side of the ball for the man picked just ahead of him at #1. Jameis Winston completed 48% of his passes for two touchdowns and two interceptions -- including a pick-six that came on his first-ever NFL throw.

• The St. Louis Rams' front seven continued to impress against the Seattle Seahawks. Not only did they sack Russell Wilson six times and get nine hits on him, but they held Marshawn Lynch on a 4th-and-1 that won the game in overtime! Yay to Pete Carroll losing!

We should all talk about how Seattle really should have thrown on 4th-and-1.

• Russell Wilson has had four games in his career in which he's been sacked six times. Three of those games came against St. Louis. We should all be afraid of the Rams.

• The New York Giants lost -- woohoo! Unfortunately, the Dallas Cowboys won. =( Giants fans have to feel terrible about the ending of Sunday night’s game. New York faced a 3rd-and-1 at the 1-yard line with 1:43 left in the game, up 23-20. For absolutely no reason at all, the Giants call a pass play instead of running the clock down with a run (never mind actually picking up the one yard and ending the game right there). Then, for absolutely no reason at all, Giants’ quarterback Eli Manning decides to throw the ball away instead of taking a sack, which would have allowed New York to run an extra 40 seconds or so off the clock. The Giants kicked a field goal to go up 26-20. So instead of getting the ball with 49 seconds and no timeouts, the Cowboys had 1:29 to march down the field and score a touchdown to win by one, which is exactly what they did.

• Oh, and also, Giants running back Rashad Jennings had a chance to score on the Giants’ final meaningful drive -- twice -- but was told not to score -- twice.

• The Cowboys lost superstar receiver Dez Bryant to a broken foot, which will keep him out four-to-six weeks. I’m always glad when Cowboy fans are sad, but I never gloat over injuries. Get better soon, Dez!

• Also, how the heck does a broken foot only keep a player out for four-to-six weeks???

• I’m usually an old curmudgeon when it comes to players taunting, but waving at an opponent who can’t catch you after you’ve intercepted the ball is kinda funny enough for me to give it a pass.

• What’s that?? The Patriots cheating again?? You don't say!

• Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith threw three touchdown passes: one to a tight end and two to his running back, extending KC’s no-touchdown-catches-by-a-wide-receiver that began in December of 2013!!!

• I HATE ESPN’S NEW WEBSITE. It’s awful.

• JJ Watt had two sacks and six tackles for losses (the rest of his team had one). Yawn. You’re going to have to at least score a touchdown or record double-digit sacks in a game to get my attention, JJ.

Just kidding. You have my attention. You have my full attention.

• Also, one of his sacks came after he got his helmet knocked off.

• It must have been a busy Monday for the Oakland Raiders MRI technicians -- quarterback Derek Carr, safety Charles Woodson (nooooooooo), and safety Nate Allen were all scheduled for further tests after suffering injuries in Sunday’s opener.

• There were 11 penalties called in the Cincinnati Bengals-Oakland Raiders game; five of them were personal fouls. Worst of all was Pacman Jones knocking off Amari Cooper’s helmet, then slamming Cooper’s unhelmeted head into the displaced helmet. Shockingly, reports say Jones will receive a fine but not a suspension. I have no idea how the league justifies not suspending this guy!!

• I’m never, ever happy to see a player to get injured … but I’m not sad to see Terrell Suggs go down for the season with an Achilles tear.

That may sound mean, but Suggs is a p.o.s. wife-beater and one of
those guys who has a "Legal Troubles" subsection on his Wikipedia page.

• The Cleveland Browns kicked a 48-yard extra point.  

• Even when he was on the Bears, I always respected Brandon Marshall’s talent. (Still don't understand why they traded him...) I love him here not only stopping the return on an interception (he was probably used to doing that when he played with Cutler), but ripping it from the defender and running it upfield.

• After spending four seasons at backup in Baltimore, Buffalo Bills’ quarterback Tyrod Taylor had his first NFL start on Sunday ... but he didn’t technically start. The Bills’ first snap was a trick play that saw Taylor at wide receiver while backup Matt Cassel was under center.

• Why didn’t the Cowboys let Dan Bailey retake his national tv picture??

• Report: Head coach Chuck Pagano is ‘fighting for his job’ with the Colts. WTF?? They lost their first game; chill out. Pagano's led his team to the playoffs each of his first three seasons. Indianapolis went 11-5 last season and won two playoff games before losing to the eventual Super Bowl champions.

• Adrian Peterson is back with a vengeance. (Uhhh not enough vengeance to keep the Minnesota Vikings from getting beat by San Francisco 49ers 20-3, but still.)

• The Jason Pierre-Paul story gets weirder and sadder every day. JPP lost his right index finger and broke his thumb in a fireworks accident July 4th. He then stonewalled his team, refusing to talk to them or see them for two months, but indicating that he’d be ready to play sooner rather than later. The Giants only just saw Pierre-Paul for the first time since the accident last Monday, and it sounds like it didn’t go so great. JPP apparently lost parts of his other fingers, as well, and some sources don’t think he’ll be able to play at all this season.

• Don’t worry, Jordy, I haven't forgotten you. Here’s a picture of you scoring on the Bears, just as you would have surely done if you could have played Sunday.

I Don't Even Care Anymore

• While I'm glad that football is finally (almost) back, I won’t lie: things just aren’t the same. As we all know, the beautiful and talented Sideline Ninja himself is out for the entire season following an ACL tear to his beautiful and talented knee. Considering that this blog was about 87% pictures of Jordy Nelson, you can’t blame me if there’s a pall cast over O&E for the entire season.

• Here's a breakdown of my mental state:

• How I felt when Jordy limped off the field.

• How I felt when I heard the first reports that it was his ACL.

• How I felt when the reports were confirmed the next day.

• How I feel every time they show the replay.

• How I feel on the inside when I say everything’s going to be just fine.

• Aaron Rodgers will certainly miss Jordy. In passes to Nelson, Rodgers has a career 70% completion rate, 45 TDs, and a 130 passer rating.

• I’m still too upset to talk about Randall Cobb’s injury. I am pleased, however, that the Packers are bringing back James Jones. I may not have always been Jones’ biggest cheerleader, but I felt that we parted on good terms, and I’m glad he’s back in Green Bay.

• Despite the crushing blow, I’m not anti-preseason. Rodgers was angry, and indicated how he doesn’t think preseason games are needed. But when the league was trying to force an 18-game season down everybody’s throats a couple of years ago, the proposal included cutting the preseason down to two games and the players rebelled, saying the four preseason games were needed, so I don’t think it’s really fair to say preseason games are bad except when we're using them to get out of playing 18 games. Furthermore, the preseason isn’t really for the starters, which is why they generally only play a quarter or so. The preseason is for rookies to get acclimated to live snaps and for GMs and coaches to figure out who they’re going to cut. It wasn’t like dear, sweet Jordy got injured in the third quarter. It was a few snaps in and it was a non-contact injury.

Don't worry, Jordy. I won't let the world forget about
you and your #NinjaBiceps while you're gone.

• I shouldn’t dwell on this. It’s not good for me. Moving on …

• One of the big offseason changes was Green Bay head coach Mike McCarthy giving up playcalling duties so that he can focus more on game management. But since playcalling is his strength (NFC Championship games aside), and game management is a weakness, do we really want him spending more time managing the game?

• So the Washington Redskins are a disaster. I understand the quarterback situation has long been a prickly issue, but they really seem intent on destroying Robert Griffin III. A quick recap of his career with the Redskins prior to this season:
• Rookie season: he takes hits all year long and eventually sprains his LCL. He sits out for one play before going back in (he would leave a few plays later for good). Then-coach Mike Shanahan says it’s fine to send a franchise quarterback with a sprained knee in after one play because the doctor said so! Except the doctor never said so. RGIII gets a week off before returning. A few weeks later, he re-injures his knee (LCL and ACL this time) and requires surgery.

• Year 2: He doesn’t play all preseason of his sophomore season because his knee isn’t ready, but that doesn’t stop the team from starting him in Week 1, nor from blaming Griffin for his substandard play that season. Griffin was benched for the final three games.

• Year 3: In Week 2 of the next season -- last year -- Griffin dislocated his ankle. When he returned, the Skins didn’t do so well and Griffin was benched three games until his backup suffered a season-ending injury, and Griffin was awkwardly welcomed back as the starter.

• That brings us to this preseason. Griffin was put behind an atrocious offensive line and took two sacks early in the second game -- a preseason game. Unsurprisingly, Griffin suffered a concussion on a third sack in the second quarter. Head coach Jay Gruden affirmed after the game that Griffin would be the starter whenever he was cleared to play. Griffin was practicing three days later and cleared for the next week’s game. Except he wasn’t and was thankfully held for the next game. Then backup quarterback Kirk Cousins was named the starter -- not for Week 1, but for the 2015 season; not because RGIII was injured, but because Cousins had “earned the right,” according to Gruden. “It’s Kirk’s team,” he said. Sucks for Griffin to be demoted to backup, huh? Except it’s worse! Griffin went from starter to third-string quarterback!  

I really think Jay Gruden is trying to kill RG3.

• Now, I hear there are rumors of problems with Griffin and his attitude, but I can’t imagine that he could have done anything so egregious to merit the complete disrespect and lack of concern from his coach. The relationship between RGIII and the Redskins has been deteriorating for some time, before Gruden ever arrived. One clear piece of evidence of this is Washington’s letter to season ticket holders this summer: “Head Coach Jay Gruden, new General Manager Scot McCloughan, and Defensive Coordinator Joe Barry will lead a nucleus of Ryan Kerrigan, DeSean Jackson, plus Pro Bowlers Trent Williams and Alfred Morris. The Redskins are poised to rebound next season!” Ummmm, anyone missing from that list?

"Nope! Think we got them all!"

• “Eli Manning wants to be highest-paid player in NFL.” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

• I don’t like the rule change of moving the point after touchdown from the 1-yard line to the 15-yard line (though I do like that teams are now able to return a blocked PAT or stuffed 2-point conversion). I just don’t see what the problem was with the old way. Sportswriters were pulling out their hair pretending it was a huge problem that kickers almost always make the PAT, but so what? It took all of five seconds. Now it’s just tough luck for cold-weather teams who will have to kick in worse conditions. If it was really such a problem, why not just mandate that everyone has to go for two from now on?

• It’s incredible to me that Peyton Manning is still playing and winning. His throws are so incredibly weak and wobbly now that I literally cannot understand how he is still doing so well. As he casually mentioned this offseason, he hasn’t had feelings in the fingertips of his throwing hand since his 2011 neck surgeries. I’m sure that’s totally normal and will not have any negative long-term effects down the road. Go get ‘em, Peyton!

• Our old friend Jim Schwartz is taking a year off of coaching football players on how to be dirty and will instead be a consultant to the officials. Hmm.

"Here's how to deal with a coach who's having a
toddler-like meltdown on the sidelines..."

• I had saved this picture and was going to spend some time talking about how superfly Jordy looks here, getting off the bus before that fateful game, but what’s the point anymore?

What's the point of anything?

• At least we play the Chicago Bears in Week 1. A Jay Cutler interception or six always makes me feel better.

I Don’t Care About the Patriots Winning; I Care About the Seahawks Losing

• The two most unlikable teams in the league met for a crazy Super Bowl that was nearly decided by a Bill Belichick gaffe, but was ultimately decided by a Pete Carroll gaffe.

• I’ll just go ahead and say what everyone in the country said in unison on Sunday night: “Why do you throw there?!?!?!”

• Yes, I understand the arguments for that call, but they still don’t make sense. No matter what defense the New England Patriots showed on the play, the Seattle Seahawks’ decision to throw instead of run is mind-boggling. You have Marshawn Lynch. You’re on the one-yard line. You probably want to run the most time possible off the clock (i.e. run the ball). And you have Marshawn Lynch. I don’t care about Lynch’s stats this year on runs from the one-yard line. If he doesn’t get it, the Seahawks still had a timeout and two more downs to go one yard with the most punishing back in the league.

• Speaking of timeouts, why didn’t the Patriots use a timeout prior to the play that led to the interception on the goal line?? This, to me, is more mystifying than Carroll’s (slash offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell’s) decision to throw the ball. If Belichick calls a timeout immediately after the Pats stopped the Seahawks on the one-yard line, there’s 58 seconds on the clock. They could have let the Seahawks score and gotten the ball back with about 50 seconds left and two timeouts. Instead, the Seahawks are able to run the clock down to about 30 seconds before snapping the ball and throwing the ill-fated pass. WHAT on earth could have Belichick’s motivation for not calling the timeout could have been??

I smell another conspiracy theory in the works!!

• It felt for sure like Seattle was going to have another one of their incredible, B.S., fairy tale endings after this absurd play:

• But the NFC karma train continued to roll. The Dallas Cowboys beat the Detroit Lions on a controversial no-call, the Green Bay Packers’ victory over the Cowboys included the enforcement of a controversial rule, and the Seahawks beat the Packers in a shocking series of last minute Green Bay mistakes. And it finally caught up to the Seahawks when they looked like they were going to take the lead with under a minute left.

• Perhaps the football gods smote Seattle because they were displeased with Doug Baldwin deciding to celebrate his Super Bowl touchdown by pretending to poop out the football. Or perhaps they were peeved by perpetual loudmouth Richard Sherman mocking New England cornerback Darrelle Revis after Revis was “beat” on the touchdown.

• Sherman's taunting didn’t make a whole lot of sense, as Revis was never in a position to make a play on the ball because Baldwin used the ref to set a pick and get open.

 

• The Seahawks had a rough time with injuries. Safety Earl Thomas and Sherman came into the game with injuries (shoulder and elbow, respectively), then they lost cornerback Jeremy Lane to an awful arm injury, and defensive end Cliff Avril to a concussion.

• The Patriots lost wide receiver Julian Edelman to a concussion late in the game -- oh, wait. Never mind. Despite the fact that Edelman took a huge hit from the monster Kam Chancellor and got up literally staggering, Edelman was back in the game on the next drive. He’ll probably lose several years off his life, but, hey, he was instrumental in the Patriots’ win.

• Edelman was seemingly never evaluated for a concussion, since he was allowed to talk to the media after the game, which players going through concussion protocol can’t do. Don't know if having his brain put in a helmet blender affected him though.

• After the game-ending interception, Seattle handled the gut-wrenching disappointment as you might expect: by starting a brawl the next play, leading to Seattle linebacker Bruce Irvin’s ejection.

• The best part of Seattle losing the Super Bowl is the fact that frequency of gloating gum chewing in the Pacific Northwest will plummet.

• Another perk of New England winning is there will probably be less “Deflate Gate” nonsense. Nothing is any clearer, except that the NFL (and the media) has handled this really badly. The league failed to mention for the first week-and-a-half that the refs didn’t log the exact PSI of the balls; they didn’t contradict the widely-circulated report that 11 of the 12 New England footballs were significantly under-inflated, and now another report claims that only one was significantly under-inflated and the rest were only very slightly below the requirement; they let all the fingers point at some ball boy whom they declared a “person of interest”; they allowed rampant speculation about who requested the ball measurement from the refs -- first it was Indianapolis linebacker D’Qwell Jackson, then Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, then rumors that the league had set up some sort of sting. All in all, it’s been a stupid mess and everyone has known since the beginning what the end result will be: there won’t be enough evidence to prove that the Patriots intentionally altered the footballs.

• In more important and exciting news, Clay Matthews answered a burning question of mine:

• JJ Watt was the first ever unanimous Defensive Player of the Year.

Yay, JJ! Your second DPOY award will look so good on our mantel!

• Oh, and AARON RODGERS WAS NAMED NFL MVP. Again.