Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Whatever. No Big Deal. It's Just One Stupid Game Anyway.

  • Could someone please explain to me just how the officials were calling pass interference in this game??? Ridiculous calls and missed calls both ways, particularly on pass interference.
  • Ugh. I was not naive enough to think that the Packers’ secondary would magically be fixed this offseason, but it was not very pretty, to say the least. If you’re going to be as bad as you were last season, you have to be as good as you were on takeaways. Charles Woodson was very emphatic after the game that the defense has improved a lot and it will show. I believe him, but sooner would be better than later.
This was almost the greatest interception in history.

  • The most upsetting part was San Francisco’s secondary’s ability to throw the Packer’s offense out of sync. The receivers were having a lot of trouble getting open. Now, San Francisco’s secondary is talented, but when you have the best receiving corps in the league, you need to find ways to get open for your quarterback, no matter whom you are playing.
  • Aaron Rodgers does not throw a lot of interceptions, but whenever he does, it’s always on the same play, with a linebacker dropping into coverage in the middle. Don’t worry, he won’t let that happen again - he’s Aaron Rodgers.
  • Aaron made and lost a bet with a member of Boyz II Men (remember them??) and will apparently have to sport an Alex Smith jersey this week. The weirdest part of this story is that Rodgers is "a big fan of Boyz II Men." Hmm, as the coolest man in America, Rodgers can get away with a lot ... but that's pushing it a bit.
We shall dock him 5 coolness points.

  • So not everything was terrible, right? Let’s try to salvage something good from the game: 
    • This was probably the Packers’ toughest opponent in a pretty easy schedule. 
    • There was a bit more pass rush, which was promising. There are some rookies and new starters that will need a little more time to get comfortable on the field, so I’m not ready to judge them on one game. I think they will improve as the season goes on. 
Clay Matthews drinks offensive linemen's blood to maintain his youthful energy.
    •  At least Tim Masthay showed up to play.
    • I really liked the prominence of Randall Cobb in the offense. The more I get to see of those beautiful eyes, the better.
Soooo pretty.
    • Maybe this will light a fire under Green Bay. They have a quick turnaround for Chicago on Thursday.
  • I refuse to believe there is not someone better on the Green Bay roster than Jarrett Bush. He is so bad. So, so bad.
  • Also, he needs to shut up! Bush says that the Niners didn't beat the Packers, but the Packers beat themselves. I defended Clay Matthews when he said the same of the Giants' last season, but that's because he was right. In this case, maybe the fact that the 49ers have at least a top 3 defense in the league should count for something. Or the fact that most of their defensive line could reasonably be considered for DPOY. The 49ers did beat the Pack, though they sure had some help from one Mr. Jarrett Bush.
"Darn! I missed an opportunity to taunt an opponent after doing nothing!"
  • C’mon, David Akers. Give me a freaking break! A 63-yard field goal that bounces in?! Akers’ kick tied an NFL record, but it should be noted that the two other 63-yard kicks happened in Denver’s Mile High Stadium, where the altitude provides a nice assist.
  • Hey, Packers’ defense: maybe, just maybe, someone might want to cover Randy Moss in the endzone. You know, that guy who’s one of the greatest receivers to ever play the game? The one who has almost 1,000 receptions and almost 15,000 yards? The future Hall of Famer. Anyone? (You know who was responsible for that blown coverage? I'll give you one guess ... That's right! Jarrett Bush, come on down!)
  • Hah! At least Vernon Davis got rejected by the goalpost during his TD celebration. That made me feel a little bit better … but not really.

  • It took the Packers quite a bit of time, but at last they seemed to realize that their anemic run game isn’t going to happen against the best run defense in the league.
  • I get that Jermichael is a fearsome match-up, but, until he starts playing better and using his physical strength against smaller DBs, I wouldn’t mind seeing a little less of him. This is an actual quote from Finley: "Every single guy I'm going against - if it's a linebacker, a safety - is probably thinking a little bit more than I am," he said. "I promise you."  And I promise you, JMike, that no one thought your problems last year stemmed from over-thinking. You don’t really have to sell us on the idea that the guy across from you is thinking more; we believe you.

"No more of that thinkin' stuff."
  • I heard a radio announcer say of Finley, “If this were the Arab world, he’d have his hands cut off." Hmmm...

  • Now, I do have faith in Morgan Burnett. I think he has a lot of potential, but that guy sure misses a lot of tackles. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to be a safety when you appear to be afraid of contact.
"Ahh! Don't hurt me!"

  • Wow. Lots of bad calls from the replacement refs around the league. Among the many: Terrible pass interference on Chicago’s Tim Jennings; block in the back on Washington’s Ray Helu Jr., who didn’t actually touch anyone on the play; highly questionable pass interference on the Colts’ Vontae Davis; game-changing bad pass interference call on New Orleans' Roman Harper; mind-numbing forward progress call that undid a Jimmy Graham fumble that was recovered by Washington; the block in the back call on San Fran’s CJ Spillman (I think that’s who it was) to start the game, as well as the missed call on Green Bay’s Terrell Manning’s block in the back on Randall Cobb’s TD punt return. And let’s not forget giving Seattle a fourth timeout.
  • Furthermore, everything was so slooooooooooooooooooow. Part of it is that every score and turnover is now reviewed, but a lot of it was the refs. Could they have thrown the flags any later?? It was out of control how late the flags were! It really screws up any momentum a team is trying to create.
  • You may be aware of how much I hate that oily, smug, self-satisfied “officiating guru” Mike Pereira and his stupid glasses. He was right, however, to point out how crappy the replacement officials were when he tweeted, “Here's what I think of the officiating in Green Bay/San Francisco for first half: Not too strong... at this point. ” To which NFL spokesman Greg Aiello responded with this fourth-grade smackdown: “Kind of like when you were out there.” Oooooh SNAP! Aiello wanted to add, “You’re a booger-face!" but his mom said he had to get off of Twitter and do his homework.
He is, in fact, a booger-face.

  • The Dallas Cowboys think they’re special because they won one game. Aww, how cute.
"Does this mean you guys will be nicer to me in December?"

  • Ah, Jay, returning to his true self, started the game with an immediate pick-six. Unfortunately, against a rookie QB and last year’s worst defense, Jay managed to salvage a pretty decent game. He took a pause from his usual sullenness to thank God that he has a GM and an offensive coordinator who finally cared enough about him to get him some nice weapons like Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey. The Bears’ interior line, however, seemed to have problems with Colts’ running back Donald Brown, an area which has typically been their strength.

  • Colts receiver Reggie Wayne is one bad dude. Just watching a few minutes of the Colts-Bears game, you can understand why coaches and commenters are forever drooling over him. He laid himself out for his rookie quarterback, making crazy catches and shrugging off big hits all day.
  • Andrew Luck didn't have the greatest game, but Indianapolis fans should still be optimistic in the future. After all, anywhere after Dan Orlovsky is up.
  • How 'bout that RGIII? He was so much fun to watch. I couldn’t help be struck by how in control of the game he looked. Long-suffering Redskins’ fans must be pinching themselves.
If he'd played the entire game lying down, it'd still have been a QB upgrade.

  • I couldn’t quite tell if the Redskins’ defensive line was that good or the Saints’ offensive line was that bad, but Drew Brees felt the heat all day. I have to say, I didn’t mind seeing the Saints have a rough time of it. I’m a bit sick of them - even Drew Brees. It’s like some snot-nosed student who was caught cheating whining how he shouldn’t be punished at all because some other kids were cheating, too. [Also, sidenote: if you’re going to moan and groan all day long about how much power Roger Goodell has and how unfair it is, maybe you shouldn’t have signed that collective bargaining agreement last year allowing him all that power.]
"Waaah ... life's so unfair ... boo-hoo ... Roger is a meanie!"
  • It’s true that Mark Sanchez and the Jets played well against the Bills, but, keep in mind, it was against a team that ranks no higher than 26th in any defensive category.

  • Adrian Peterson doesn’t give a hoot that he tore up his ACL and MCL eight months ago. He’s still going to carry the ball 17 times, including two touchdowns. Granted, it was against Jacksonville, but still: Welcome Back AD!
"Yeah, I'm not really sure how I just did that, either."

  • I seriously thought Matthew Stafford was going to blow people away this season (I thought he was underrated last season), but starting the year with a three-interception half probably isn’t the best way to establish oneself as an elite passer. Maybe he’s just trying to lull us into low expectations.
  • Why is Mike Shanahan so red all the time?
That's just because he's screaming, you say.

But this is his calm face!
  • I don’t know if you’ve ever wondered which NFL player you’d most like to hang out with, but I can say with 100% certainty which NFL player I’d least like to hang out with: Rob Gronkowski, hands down. If by some strange series of events, I would somehow have an opportunity to meet him, I would do everything in my power to get out of it.
Party on, brah.
  •  You know whom Rob Gronkowski should hang with? This Mensa-candidate Vikings cheerleader, who says: “As part of our military performance tours, I’ve worked out with the Navy and Marines and those were all tough workouts but, no offense guys, I have to say that our cheerleading workouts are harder!” She says this in the same interview in which she decries cheerleaders’ unfair reputations as “bimbos.” Oy.
  • Brandon Weeden had a rough start to his NFL career with 4 interceptions and no touchdowns. The most embarrassing part of the day, though, came before the start of the game, when he got caught by the American flag and had to hide under it. How do you come back from that??

  • For the sake of clearing up confusion, the Saints shouldn’t let Rafael Bush wear the same jersey number Reggie Bush used to wear. I was wondering why on earth Reggie Bush was playing safety.
  • So much for Buffalo’s revamped defense. Obviously, the worst thing to come out of a very bad day for the Bills was running back Fred Jackson going down for at least 3-4 weeks with a leg injury. Ruh-roh!
  • Good for Kevin Kolb. He stunk it up so badly in the preseason, but when John Skelton got carted off the field, Kolb stepped up and drove the Cardinals down the field for what would end up being the winning touchdown (despite the refs’ best efforts).
"Dear God, no! I'm going to lose my job to Kevin Kolb!'
  • Nice for Peyton Manning to a win in his first game in 20 months. I’m just glad that his head is still attached. I’m not a Peyton fan or anything, but I worry so much about his neck every time he’s on the field.
  • I’m sad for Matt Flynn losing the starting job in Seattle, of course, but props to Russell Wilson coming in and wrestling that position away from a couple of veterans. He looks like he’ll be a fun player to watch in the future.
  • I'm ready for Thursday!!!!
This is just too easy.



  1. I approve this blog. And I giggled many times!

    - C. Hannah D.

  2. So did I, hilarious! That Vikings cheerleader, hahaha. Psst, they might have changed their workouts due to the fact that you were there to be ogled not killed. And that Rob Gronkowski pic is perfect, it's Todd Packer!

  3. How much time does it take to write these things? More than for After Scranton?

    1. not nearly that long, i'm sure. most of the time is scouring the internet for pictures of jay getting sacked that i haven't already used.