Monday, November 11, 2013

What Have the Packers Done to Deserve This??

  • Word on the street is that Matty Flynn is back with the Pack!! He won’t be starting, but at the rate the Packers are losing quarterbacks, it’s nice to have a familiar face on the bench. (I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Flynn, but that doesn’t mean I'm not worried about his elbow issues.)


  • This is getting a little ridiculous. In Sunday’s loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, the Green Bay Packers lost another six players: Seneca Wallace, Nick Perry, Casey Hayward, Evan Dietrich-Smith, Don Barclay, and Johnny Jolly. Brad Jones and Davon House also suffered injuries, but returned to the game (as did Jolly), and while Ryan Pickett did not leave the game, he is scheduled to undergo tests on his knee.

  • These injuries are, of course, in addition to many others that have occurred thus far in the season. Here’s a list of other Packers who have missed time thus far: Bryan Bulaga (out for season), DuJuan Harris (out for season), Randall Cobb, James Jones, James Starks, Greg Van Roten (out for season), Ryan Taylor, Andy Mulamba, Eddie Lacy, Brad Jones, Jermichael Finley (out for season), Morgan Burnett, Clay Matthews, TJ Lang, John Kuhn, Jarrett Bush, and Mr. Aaron Rodgers.

"Huh. This is not how I saw our season going."

  • Before Sunday, Green Bay has started just three quarterbacks since Week 4 of 1992. That’s 372 games! With Scott Tolzien starting next week, that will be three different starting quarterbacks in three weeks.

  • It was weird to hear a different voice calling out the “greeeeeen nineteen!” - it just didn’t feel right. And then, after spending my entire week pretending to believe in Seneca Wallace, I have to throw my allegiance behind a guy who was on the practice squad a week ago?? This takes an emotional toll on me, fellas!

So we're cheering for this guy now?

  • Besides the injuries, the game was just an odd one. Philadelphia’s first touchdown was just an unlucky tip by the defenders that somehow fell right into the hands of DeSean Jackson (who should have been called for a taunting penalty on that play); the Packers dominated time of possession up until the final drive, but couldn’t get points on the board; Tramon Williams’ fumble recovery for a touchdown didn’t count because the refs blew the play dead, even though the Packers were given the turnover on review; Jordy Nelson had a very close catch in the endzone that was ruled incomplete; Philadelphia played much better than Green Bay in the first half, but somehow only had a seven-point lead at halftime; and -- here’s how you know when you’re in the Twilight Zone -- Jordy, aka Sideline Ninja, stepped out of bounds while running up the sideline towards the endzone! That never happens!

Ugh. This is why everyone hates DeSean Jackson.

  • How ‘bout the refs? They were TERRIBLE. It wasn’t like they were unfair to just the Packers, or they called the game too tight or too loose; they were terrible from every aspect. They had horrible calls and missed calls against both teams, sometimes you couldn’t breathe too close to a player without getting called for a penalty (Jarrett Bush’s “block in the back” on a punt), and then sometimes you could, say, blatantly hold John Kuhn for the entire duration of an interception return, or piggyback on James Jones in the endzone, and there’d be no whistle.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed.

  • Would someone please ask Coach McCarthy why the hell he won’t play running back Johnathan Franklin? The dude lost ONE fumble seven weeks ago in a game where he also put up 103 yards!! He’s gotten six carries total in the six games since. You have to give Eddie Lacy a break at some point!

Aww, so cute! Too bad only one of them ever gets to play.

  • Sooooo I was very disconcerted during the game when I  realized that the Packers don’t really have any more backup offensive linemen. After the center went down, the right guard (who suffered a concussion and left the game last week) moved to center, the right tackle moved to right guard, and Marshall Newhouse came in at right tackle. Then when the right-tackle-now-right-guard got injured, some rookie I've never heard of and never knew was on the team came in. Ahh, just want you want, your 3rd-string quarterback being protected by a patchwork line

  • My brother is always quick to point out not only how much the Packers get injured, but how often players suffer re-injury (this week, it looks like Casey Hayward - who injured his hamstring in training camp, then re-injured it right before the season - and Nick Perry have both suffered re-injuries). At what point does the Packers training and medical staff share some of the responsibility? Is it more than coincidence that the Packers seem to get the injury bug year after year?

  • Clay Matthews returned! He had a pretty quiet day, unfortunately, but I imagine it must take some time getting used to playing like this:

  • Hmmm, the end of this game sure looks a lot like the end of last game with the defense completely unable to stop the clock-draining run game. The difference is that they have no reason to be exhausted this week, as they were not on the field much. It really looked as though their spirit was broken late in the game.

  • McCarthy immediately named Tolzien the starter for next week's game against the New York Giants. The Giants are terrible through and through, but they have won their last three games AND they’re somehow going to win because they always just seem to have the Packers’ number.

We may be on our 5th-string QB, but at least it's not Eli.

  • Tolzien’s stats are not pretty, but I thought he looked calm behind center, which is what you want to see in a third-string quarterback. I wonder a bit about his arm strength since several of his passes seemed a bit late or underthrown, and I think that’s a product of him not being able to get enough zip on his throws.

You have my lukewarm support, sir.

  • Nick Foles has 16 touchdowns and zero interceptions this season.

  • I’m not the president of the AJ Hawk Fan Club, but I've always appreciated how he never minces words when it comes to an honest assessment of the defense:
“When you have a stud quarterback like [Rodgers], it covers up for a lot of mistakes you make as a defense...We haven't really helped [the offense] out like we should. They've been helping us out forever, it seems like, and we just haven't -- the last couple weeks especially, but this whole season."

Just saying what we're all thinking...

  • We’ll really need Detroit and Chicago to start losing these next few weeks.

Does it help or hurt our chances when Jay's on the bench?

  • Speaking of our old friend Jay, he should not have been playing this Sunday. After suffering a torn groin muscle and missing one game, Cutler was back in the lineup on Sunday. I understand that it was a big divisional game, but you have a backup in Josh McCown who is more than competent. Cutler should have never been allowed to play, and, when he did, he should have been pulled immediately, as it was clear the guy was in pain and not moving well. He was eventually pulled just before the end of the game because coach Marc Trestman recognized that Cutler could not run the two-minute drill. As it happened, Cutler was further injured in the game with a dreaded high ankle sprain. I get that players are competitive and Cutler has gotten a lot of unfair flak in the past for sitting out games, but can we all agree that people who get hit for a living don’t need to prove their toughness to the fans who are sitting at home and eating bean dip on their couches?

Have a cigarette and rest up, Jay.

  • The Bears lost yet another defensive player on Sunday in Charles Tillman. He has a triceps injury and has been put on short-term IR. It’s a tough blow to a defense that’s already hanging together by duct tape.

  • Eli Manning threw the 17th pick-six of his career!! =)

  • The Bengals’ Hail Mary was so cool! Remember, defensive players: don't go for the interception; just bat the ball down!

  • It was all for naught, however, as Baltimore won in overtime on a field goal. The kicker was so excited that he gave us a rare sight: an NFL kicker doing a celebratory dance!

Ravens Kicker Justin Tucker Attempts 'TerRio' Dance After GW 46-Yard FG in OT
Sorry, hon, still doesn't make you a real football player.

  • It’s the Miami Dolphins and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Monday Night Football’s Dysfunction Bowl! Which team will succumb to their cancerous locker room issues first??

"We are not the most screwed up team in the league, dammit!"

  • After dominating Green Bay in the season opener, the San Francisco 49ers have only defeated one team with a winning record when they beat Arizona in Week 6. On the other hand, the teams they have defeated, they've done so by an average of 20 points. conclusion....I have no idea how good or bad the Niners are. Whatever the case, it's always worth tuning in to see Jim Harbaugh's khakis.

That's a lot of pleats.

  • Yet another starting quarterback was injured, and the Tennessee Titans fear it is for the season, as Jake Locker is thought to have suffered a Lisfranc fracture.

  • Nice to see that East is East, West is West, and New Yorkers are still New Yorkers.

  • At the professional level, I don’t really believe in mercy rules, but I still don’t like the New Orleans Saints going for it on 4th &5 with two minutes left in the game when they’re up 23 points. By going for it -- and getting the first down -- the Saints set an NFL record with 40 first downs in a game, which is pretty cool. I agree with those who would say that if Dallas didn’t like it, they should have stopped it, but it also seems like you’re intentionally trying to embarrass your opponent there.

  • All that aside, it’s always fun to see Jerry Jones’ awful GM decisions come back to bite him. That’s what you get when you spend all your money on flashy talent positions and forget to think about the boys in the trenches.

Just throw more money at the problem, Jerry. That always works.

  • Jaguars won their first game! Congratulations! Don't be afraid to dream big - 2-14 is a real possibility. Well, at least in theory.

  • Not to be outdone, the league's other previously winless team, Tampa Bay, also notched their first victory on Monday night.
You guys should probably just give up, though.

  • Goodness gracious! The Colts only managed 18 rushing yards in their blowout loss to the St. Louis Rams -- and 17 of those yards came from quarterback Andrew Luck. Guess that’s what happens when you have no receivers.

Why, Reggie? Why did I jinx you? Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut?

  • I thought that 18 rushing yards was unsightly, but that was before Miami was held to TWO rushing yards on Monday night. TWO. As in one, two.

  • Houston gets to play Oakland next week, Jacksonville the following week, and then Jacksonville again in Week 14, which is lucky, because I was starting to wonder if the Texans would win another game this season. At least they still have Andre to make amazing plays:

  • And JJ Watt (*girlish sigh*). Here he is with the three-in-one play: sack, strip, fumble recovery.


  • I have no idea what’s going on in Miami with the Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin situation, but now that the media has beaten every aspect of it to death, and we still don’t have any explanation or answers, I guess I just don’t really care.

  • Tampa Bay doesn't make many highlight reels, but here's a cool "fat man touchdown" from offensive lineman Donald Penn:

  • Let's replay that dunking celebration in penance for calling him fat.

  • The Lions swept Chicago this season, and while I hope they don’t meet in the playoffs because it would mean the Packers’ chances are smaller, it would be fun to see them play again after Brandon Marshall had this to say about Detroit:
"It's the little brother that kind of grew up a little bit. He may be a little taller than the big brother. He's not stronger. He's not better than the big brother at anything. But that one day, he just says, 'I'm fed up. I'm done. I'm gonna punch my brother in the face'...It's the little brother that, big brother wants to go out and play with his friends and the little brother is annoying, [saying], 'Hey, can I go?' ‘No, you can't go, Detroit Lions. Sit back. Sit in your little city. Fix your financial problems and all of that, you know. You can't come with us right now.’”

Brandon Marshall: God's gift to sports reporters.

  • Tom Brady has been good for about a GIF per week, but since New England was on a bye this week, we'll go back to early in the season for this half funny/half kinda offensive GIF of Brady checking out a girl on the sidelines, even though he's married to a freakin' supermodel.


  1. That is the creepiest smile ever on Brady.

  2. On the injury issue, I wonder what the stretching regimen is for the Packers. I read this article last year that said the San Francisco 49ers had an extremely thorough stretching regimen and that that probably translates to fewer injuries during the season: