Monday, January 13, 2014

NFL Football Without the Green Bay Packers Is Stupid

  • Soooo, I'll be cheering for the AFC in the Super Bowl.

  • As for the Saints-Seahawks game, WHAT WAS MARQUES COLSTON THINKING??????????

  • Seriously, you just got your best-case scenario there, Marques -- you got a catch on the sideline; all you have to do is step out of bounds! You'd have seven seconds left to set up a decent Hail Mary shot. WHY WOULD YOU THROW A FORWARD PASS? (This is, of course, a penalty, which meant a 10 second runoff and the end of the game.) Did he lose track of the time? Did he think the clock had already run out? Seven seconds is a long time to be off by. There's nothing more anti-climactic in a game than a run-off to end it.

  • I don't like the Saints that much. I find them to be whiny, arrogant, and entitled. That said, I would have still rather see them win than the dirty, obnoxious cheats that are the Seattle Seahawks.

pete carroll
If Pete Carroll ever retires, he should play villains in made-for-tv movies. He's got
that evil oil barren look down pat.

  • The Saints and Seahawks were at it even before the game, when Jimmy Graham got into it with a bunch of Seahawks.

It was ironic to hear the Seahawks after the game going on
about other teams talking too much.

  • Holder Josh McCown has obviously not watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective enough.

  • It was a rough day for New Orleans special teams, as kicker Shayne Graham went 0-for-2 on the day. In actuality, I think both those misses are the fault of head coach Sean Payton. The weather conditions were terrible -- very windy and rainy -- and he had his kicker attempt two 45+ yard field goals? Not a fan of those calls at all.

  • Apparently, we can blame Sean Payton for the Marques Colston play, as well. Though both Colston and Payton admit the execution went wrong (so horribly wrong), it was actually a designed play! Ummm, trick plays involving laterals work about 0.004% of the time. And you had ELEVEN seconds at the start of the play! WHAT WAS SEAN PAYTON THINKING??????????

  • The 49ers and Panthers jawing at each other after every single play got old in a hurry. We get it guys; you're tough.

  • Cam Newton is becoming a soccer-level flopping problem. I've seen him do this multiple times on "late" hits and get the flag. 

  • Vernon Davis' touchdown was insane!! It's literally the utmost corner of the endzone. How did he do that?

  • Hey, Jim Harbaugh, you know what's a good way to make everyone hate you? Fake a punt with 23 seconds left in a playoff game when you have a 13-point lead.

Aww, keep your khakis on, Jim.

  • Poor Eric Decker broke off a fantastic punt return, weaving past Chargers' defenders, but as soon as he got into the open field, he ... tripped.

  • Philip Rivers was not pleased watching his defense.

  • The Chargers kept it close enough to make it mildly interesting, but they should have known not to go against Evil Manning.

Also, he has a football between his legs?

  • Patriots' running back LeGarrette Blount had a pretty nice day - four touchdowns, including this one in the fourth quarter.

There goes Blount! on Twitpic

  • With the matchups being Brady-Manning and Wilson-Kaepernick, I'm already sick of the innumerable "Old Guard vs. New Guard" articles that will be written this week.

  • Some people have worked themselves up into a righteous indignation over the fact that a division winner with a worse record get to host a game against a wild card team with a better record (such as the 8-7-1 Packers hosting the 12-4 Niners in less-than-ideal weather conditions). I understand the point, but why even have divisions then? I personally like the twist, even when it doesn't benefit the Packers (such as the 2009 Wild Card game against the Arizona Cardinals). To me, it puts a little twist in the playoffs and adds a little "wild" to Wild Card Weekend.

  • Another thing I hope they don't change is the number of playoff teams. As I've said before, I like that the NFL playoffs are so competitive that even good teams sometimes don't make it in. It makes each week of the season so meaningful and exciting! I prefer a smaller, more talented field, rather than watering it down for the sole purpose of the NFL making millions of more dollars. Why can't the owners just swim around in their rooms of gold coins and be happy?? YOU MAKE MORE THAN MANY COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD.

  • The Texans fired defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, but forgot to take his name off the mailing list.

  • One incarcerated man in Pennsylvania tried to get an injunction to remove the San Diego Chargers from the playoffs, citing the officiating error from the Chargers-Chiefs game that won San Diego a spot while leaving no more room in the playoffs for the Pittsburgh Steelers (though there's no guarantee that Succop would have made the re-kick, Steelers fans!). Good luck to you, sir. I'm sure the courts will get right on that.

Okay, fine, yes, I did choose this photo because
Jordy was in it.

  • Robert Griffin III went on a long-winded rant on Facebook about his game-day attire and the perils of fame. Chicago Bears' tight end Martellus Bennett was not sympathetic.

  • Tampa Bay hired former player Hardy Nickerson as their linebackers' coach. I always liked him when he was a player because of his name. His mother was obviously a big Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew fan (Nancy Drew's beau was named Ned Nickerson, duh.)

If he were a character, Hardy
Nickerson would be the mysterious
gentlemen  in the very pleated slacks.

  • Keenan Allen is Eddie Lacy's main competition for Offensive Rookie of the Year. Allen has caught     71 passes for 54 first downs and eight touchdowns as a receiver for the Chargers, but the most interesting number is 21. As in, this dude is trying to pretend that he's 21.

Nice try, buddy. 

  • I have a serious question: is Andrew Luck's mustache orange? Or was he just drinking orange-flavored Gatorade? I need to know!

Or nature?
  • This shirt is so cool!! I want it!

  • Once upon a time, it was promised that this blog would also feature cats, so here's my cat, sitting on my computer, and trying to pull a beer out of my hand so she can drink it all.
Yes, I am wearing a Snuggie, and I make
no apologies for it.


  1. Apologize for that snuggie! Its an abomination!!

  2. Yeah, it's an abomination ... an abomination of comfort!