Odds and Endzones: I Can't Believe I Was Worried about the Kansas City Chiefs

Ever since they destroyed the Green Bay Packers’ near-perfect, 15-1 season, I’ve been very wary of the Kansas City Chiefs. Plus, before Monday, KC had never lost at Lambeau. As it turns out, there was no need for apprehension, not when you’ve got Aaron Freakin’ Rodgers at quarterback. Rodgers was 24-for-35 for 325 yards and FIVE touchdowns!

And what a game for Randall Cobb!! Ol’ Green Eyes took three Lambeau Leaps on Monday night.

So good. Soooo preeeetty.

Rookie wide receiver Ty Montgomery got his first touchdown and Lambeau Leap! Yay! I love watching rookies get their first TD.

Another free play touchdown! And a second free play almost-touchdown. How many times can Rodgers score touchdowns on teams before they catch on? Alex Smith tried to take of advantaged of a free play, but threw an interception.

Lolz you ain't Aaron Rodgers.

Kansas City had three yards in the first quarter -- when you have to spell out a team's yards instead of using the number, you know it's bad. At half, KC had 94 yards to Green Bay’s 304.

Is no lower leg safe in Green Bay? Safeties Morgan Burnett and Sean Richardson were both out for the game after suffering calf and ankle injuries, respectively, during the week. Eddie Lacy and Davante Adams were both coming off of ankle injuries. Ty Montgomery hurt his ankle on the the the very first play of the game (he would return), and Adams re-injured his ankle a few plays later (he did not return). Tight end Andrew Quarless, who was nowhere to be found in the first two games, left the game with a knee injury.

A Phil-Simms-esque line from Mike Tirico: Aaron Rodgers wants to prove to everyone that he “should have been taken at the top of that [2005] draft, if not higher."

I won't lie, it was very disappointing to be the team against which Kansas City broke their no-touchdowns-to-wide-receivers-since-2013 drought. The defense also allowed Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles to score three touchdowns, though it's hard to grade a defense when they're playing with such a large lead.

Yes, I'm being petty, but I couldn't help but smile when I saw this.

ESPN’s talk show Mike & Mike was live from Lambeau on Monday. Some people couldn't handle it.

I'm tearing up with pride for my home state.

The New England Patriots have scored 119 points in their first three games! The crazy thing is that’s not even the highest in the league -- the Arizona Cardinals have scored 126!!

Megatron making a play on this almost-guaranteed interception!

After the Green Bay game last week, in which newly-acquired Seattle Seahawks tight end Jimmy Graham had only one reception, there were a lot of reports about how unhappy Graham was with his lack of targets. I have nooooo idea what the Seahawks were thinking by throwing to Graham only seven times in the first two weeks, but they seemed to catch on that this guy is pretty good. He caught seven catches for 83 yards and a touchdown on Sunday against the Chicago Bears.

I’m very grateful that the Seahawks waited until after playing Green Bay to finally throw the ball to Graham. I would also like to extend a warm “thank you” to Kam Chancellor for waiting to end his contract holdout until after Seattle played Green Bay.

The Tennessee Titans, down eight points, scored in the closing seconds of their game against the Indianapolis Colts and needed a two-point conversion to force the game into overtime. I really appreciate this runner’s never-say-die attitude, but why didn’t he throw it back to the quarterback??

So the Baltimore Ravens are 0-3. I don’t know why, but I’ve never liked the Ravens, so I’m kinda happy.

Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, however, was not happy after his team’s loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, especially their inability to stop Bengals receiver AJ Green: “One of these days we'll figure out how to cover A.J. Green. It would be nice if we did that before he retires.”

Everyone was freaking out over all the players the San Francisco 49ers lost in the offseason. I thought people were overreacting and that the Niners would end up being mediocre, but not terrible. I was wrong. Very wrong. They’ve lost their first three games by an average of 27 points!!

The Arizona Cardinals’ opening drive against the Niners ended with a punt. The next time the Cardinals’ offense touched the ball, they were up 14-0, thanks to back-to-back Colin Kaepernick pick-sixes. Arizona went on to win 47-7.

I seriously don’t understand what happened to Colin Kaepernick. He looked like the next big quarterback and every sports analyst was in love with him. And it wasn’t a fluke. I clearly remember the Packers getting destroyed by him every freaking time they played. But after starting a not-terrible 7-4 last year, the Niners dropped four of their last five and the spiraling has continued into this season. It can’t all be on the playcalling, right? I’m honestly confounded by how fast his descent has been.

The Atlanta Falcons scored 25 unanswered points to beat the Dallas Cowboys.

It was a good Sunday.

Steve Smith making his farewell tour count.

I really tried to feel sympathy for Ben Roethlisberger as he was carted off the field after a knee injury, but all I felt was concern for the female athletic trainer who was on the cart with him.

Even before the results of the MRI were known (MCL sprain and bone bruise), there was approximately 0% chance Roethlisberger would be able to play in the Steelers’ next game since it’s four days after their last. Yay for Thursday Night Football.

Jim Bob Cooter is the actual name of a Detroit Lions coach.

When I Googled his name, I was really expecting something more like this to come up:

The Chicago Bears traded Jared Allen to the Carolina Panthers on Monday. Sooooooo this season, Allen will be paid $11.5 million by the Bears for three games (in the form of a roster bonus back in March), and $823,000 by the Panthers for 13 games. There’s that shrewd management that keeps the Bears on top!

Brandon Weeden perpetually has the look of an amateur con man who knows he is seconds away from being exposed.

What’s the point of CBS paying former official Mike Carey as a consultant on disputed calls when his “expert analysis” is -- and I quote -- “It’s a close one. We’ll see.”

Speaking of CBS, if you are forced to sit through a Phil Simms-narrated game, you need to be following Phil Simms Quotes on Twitter.

Wow, it’s going to be a long season for Russell Wilson. He’s already been sacked a league-high 12 times in three games.

Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton likes to make bold fashion statements, but I have a fashion question: where does one even find a blue camouflage suit jacket?

How does Larry Fitzgerald hold onto this touchdown???

Oakland Raiders safety Charles Woodson had a game-winning interception this week. Sigh. I miss him.

Awwww, Woodson posted a picture of his sons celebrating their dad’s interception. I really, really miss him. :’(

Now, the good news for the Chicago Bears is that, without starting quarterback Jay Cutler, they didn’t have any turnovers! The bad news…

I love watching Darren Sproles.

There’s something that’s been bothering me for a long while now and it’s only because of my admirable self-control that I haven’t said anything, but I really hate the NFL twitter feed. In particular, I hate their incessant use of the phrase, “Have a day!” That doesn’t mean anything! STOP SAYING THAT. (Note also that these were all posted in a two-hour span.)

Tom Brady threw his 400th touchdown on Sunday to Danny Amendola. The receiver then handed the ball to a fan in the stands! Said Brady, “I don’t care. It’s just a ball.” (Don’t worry, he ended up getting it back.)

WHAT WAS BRANDON MARSHALL THINKING? (In his defense, he did call it the “worst play in NFL history.”)

So the New York Jets have a tight end coach, and that tight end coach has a son whom he brought into the locker room, and that son has a Twitter account. I don’t think that son will be returning to the locker room.