Monday, January 9, 2017

One Down.

  • Green Bay started out slow, but when they got going, boy, did they get going. Halfway through the second quarter, the Packers had seven total yards and it was worrisome because the lethargy looked awfully familiar to Packers fans who suffered through the Packers four-game losing streak. Despite that horrible first quarter-and-a-half, the Packers finished with 406 yards and 38 points.
NFL football green bay packers packers aaron rodgers

  • Dear Green Eyes, who was a game-time decision after missing the last two weeks with an ankle injury, scored thrice! (Good decision, huh?) He completed his hat trick with this fourth quarter touchdown (In any other game, this would be the hottest touchdown.) When I saw how hard Rodgers threw this, I thought there was no way anyone could catch it. So glad to have you back, Randall.

  • That wasn’t the most exciting Cobb touchdown. That would be the Hail Mary Rodgers threw to Cobb in the last seconds of the first half. HOW does Aaron Rodgers keep on doing this?!?!?

  • The Arizona Cardinals were on the short end of a Rodgers’ Hail Mary last season, and, no, they haven’t forgotten.

  • There were so many awesome touchdowns in the game, but the very first one was my favorite. It’s just incredible. Rodgers makes plays like this pedestrian because he does them so often. It’s an absolutely insane throw, and what a catch by Davante Adams!! (Side note: Adams has had a really wonderful season, despite a few hiccups. His performance should be noted since I lash out at him every time he has a drop.)

  • Honestly, just look at this. This is a still from the above touchdown catch. Look where Rodgers, way off the screen to the left, had to throw the ball to keep it away from the defender. Look at the angle, and look how small the window is. Can’t get enough of this touchdown.

  • Major props to our much maligned (by me) defense in holding the Giants to two field goals in the first half. Keeping New York’s from converting their trips to the redzone to touchdowns was huge and kept the Packers in the game, even when it felt like the Giants were owning the game in the first quarter-and-a-half.

  • As we gained Green Eyes, we also lost a receiver. I really, really don’t want to talk about this. I want to just ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. Oh Jooooooooooooooordy! Nooooo! My poor Sideline Ninja! I wish I were there to comfort him! Jordy reportedly fractured two ribs on the illegal hit and spent the night in the hospital.

  • The Packers’ injuries just keep piling up. They can’t catch a break! After Nelson went down, Ty Montgomery had a nasty-looking knee injury, though he returned to the game. (How, I don’t know. I thought he was going to be out for a year.) Blake Martinez also left the game with a knee injury. 

  • At least there were no further injuries to the secondary. (*fingers crossed*) After Quinten Rollins suffered a scary concussion and neck injury and Makinton Dorleant was placed on the IR with a hamstring injury, the Packers had to promote cornerback Herb Waters from the practice squad. Herb was an undrafted wide receiver, by the way. Even former Chicago Bears and Carolina Panthers corner Charles Tillman was offering to help.

  • One of the Giants’ best DBs, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, suffered a leg injury early on. Now, I’m never happy when a player gets injured, but considering the Packers’ early struggles, I wasn’t exactly sad. I was super sad to see New York just pumping DRC full of painkillers and throwing him back on the field when he could barely walk. Someone should have pulled the poor guy from the game!

  • I’m really like Christine Michael. He looks like one of those Happy Meal toys that you pull back and then it goes zipping away. I don’t know that he really takes a lot of time to pick his spots, but he sure does run fast! He also just seems very happy to be playing football. Here he is celebrating being in the playoffs with a former Seahawks teammate of his who now plays for the Giants. 

  • All week long I had to hear all this past week was about how Eli Manning had as many Lambeau postseason wins as Aaron Rodgers and how the Giants were so hot and had such a great secondary and “Playoff Eli” (whatever that is *snort*) and so on and so forth. To which, I said:
tv cartoon memes spongebob spongebob squarepants

  • One thing that can be said for Eli is that he’s always very consistent: he had two turnovers on Sunday to along with his 23 in the regular season. Here’s a lovely heads-up play from Mr. Clay Matthews, who sacked Manning, forced the fumble, was the only who seemed to realize it was a fumble, ran 10 yards, hit another dude to keep him from recovering the ball, and then scooped up the fumble himself.

  • Now, this man is hurting because his former team, the New York Giants, just got shredded, but he still doesn’t let that get in the way of truth and righteousness. 

  • Tuck’s handling the loss better than Odell Beckham Jr.
Image result for odell beckham jr punched wall
This is the hole Beckham punched in the locker room wall at Lambeau after the loss.

  • Here’s the last Manning Face from the 2016 season and it's a beaut:

  • It was a fairly tame Wild Card Weekend, with all four games being blowouts. There were a few fun highlights, however, including some crazy catches in Seattle’s 26-6 victory over the Detroit Lions. It hurts to see the Seahawks succeed, but you can’t help but be impressed by Paul Richardson’s x-ray vision on this catch. (Yes, yes, he facemasked the defender, but no, I don’t care. Defender interfered with him first.)

  • Pittsburgh kept up their own hot streak with their eighth consecutive win, this one over Miami. Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown each had two touchdowns. The Dolphins did not look like they belonged in the playoffs, most likely because they don’t.  

  • Every time the NFL makes some stupid commercial boasting about how much they care about player safety, I’m just going to tweet this clip at them, since Miami quarterback Matt Moore returned to the game after missing one play from this hit. Thank God for those independent neurologists!

  • The Houston Texans and the Oakland Raiders played on Saturday. It was an epic battle between Brock Osweiler and Connor Cook! I don’t know who won because who would watch that game? All I know is that Tom Brady is sitting somewhere knowing he’s getting to play either Houston or Oakland. 
NFL football new england patriots patriots tom brady

  • Okay, after looking it up, it appears the Texans won. Brock Osweiler has been named Houston’s starter for next week. If Tom Savage (who usurped the starting position from Osweiler a few weeks ago) is recovered enough from his concussion, he’ll be the back-up. If not, Brandon Weeden will be the back-up.

Yeah, Brandon, that's how the Texans feel, too. 

  • “Any given Sunday” and all, but Houston’s point differential for the regular season was -49. I have a real hard time envisioning them giving New England any trouble at all.

  • Phil Simms is in peak form for the playoffs.

  • Wide receiver Steve Smith made his retirement official with his letter to league. He just couldn’t help himself, I guess, and had to make sure his letter had his own personal touch.
"Dear Commissioner Goodell, This is to notify you that as of today I,
Steve Smith Sr., will no longer be antagonizing defensive
backs. I am retiring from the National Football League."

  • The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum is home to the LA Rams. It also hosted the Rose Bowl this year. In the Rose Bowl, Penn State and USC scored more points in the Coliseum than the Rams did all year.

  • Awww, JJ Watt is still being adorable even though he’s been sidelined for most of the season. Someone tweeted to JJ about a little boy who was hit by a car. The boy was in the was in the emergency room and crying because the doctors had to cut him out of the Watt jersey he was wearing. JJ responded by going to the hospital the next day to deliver some jerseys to the boy personally when he got out of surgery.

  • It’s been a rough year for a lot of teams and if you’re down in the dumps about your team missing the playoffs, just look to the Chicago Bears to bring a little levity to your life. After the 3-13 Bears missed the postseason for the ninth time in the last 10 years, receiver Alshon Jeffery, who, it should be noted, is now a free agent, guaranteed that the Bears would win the Super Bowl next year. Hahahahahahahhahahaha! Oh, those Chicago Bears always know just how to cheer me up.

  • Let’s check in with PSQ one more time:

  • In the Packers’ regular-season-ending win over the Detroit Lions, Green Bay became the first NFL team to beat another team 100 times. That’s a fun milestone to hit.

  • I cannot wait for the Dallas game next week! I really, really need Green Bay to win, not just for obvious reasons, but because I’ve been waiting all season for the Cowboys’ fans meltdown, and them getting knocked out in their first playoff game will be the ideal time for it.
Image result for dallas cowboys suck

  • Jordy’s not officially ruled out for next week’s game, but as BAMF as it would be for my Sideline Ninja to play with two broken ribs, I hope the training staff will hold him out if it’s not safe for him to play. I can’t have the love of my life puncturing a lung or anything.  

  • It’s particularly tough for Nelson to miss all of last season, work to get back to form, play an incredible season, help bring his team to life in time to make the playoffs, only to be knocked out in the first postseason game.

  • So, Aaron Rodgers’ last seven games: 70% completion rate, 2,029 yards, 19 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 121.7 rating. 
green bay packers aaron rodgers brett favre

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