Monday, November 28, 2011

Harbaughs, Tebow Magic, Flops, and the Rest of Week 12

They're related!

  • Hmm, maybe Houston should have tried for Kyle Orton after all.

  • Has Patrick Peterson reached just-don’t-kick-to-him status after his fourth punt return for a touchdown in his rookie season? Admittedly, two of them were against St. Louis, but all four were for 80+ yards.

  • Jay Cutler learned something from last season’s NFC Championship game: put on a headset and talk to your back-up on the sideline. Even if you’re just whispering to him how bad he is, it looks better than sitting by yourself and sulking on the sideline.

                                   "If only I were still in the game! I know I could 
                                                  throw at least three more interceptions!"

  • Indianapolis scored it’s first offensive touchdown in the month of November today.  Oh my.

  • Rich Gannon’s analysis consists of saying things like, “You can’t throw interceptions;” or “The defense has to play better;” or “They need a stronger run game.” Thanks for those insights, Rich.

  • Stevie Johnson’s touchdown celebration imitating Plaxico Burress shooting himself was totally worth 15 yards.  Except that it helped the Jets to a touchdown on the next drive.
Stupid, yes. But still funny.

  • Tampa Bay’s now lost five in a row.

  • San Diego’s lost six in a row. Goodbye, Norv, I wish I could say it’s been fun.

  • As it turns out, San Diego kicker Nick Novak’s most embarrassing moment of the day wasn’t missing a game-winning field goal in overtime. The less said about this the better.

  • Alex Smith was sacked nine times by the Ravens on Thanksgiving. And that was without Ray Lewis.
Just when you thought maybe it doesn't suck to be Alex Smith.

  • Jay Cutler was really rocking the local-news-anchor hair.

  • The Chargers’ alternate uniforms are so pretty. They should wear them all the time.

At least they'd look nice losing.

  • Tim Tebow is 5-1 as a starter this season. Crazy.

  • I was not impressed with Caleb Hanie’s angrily gesturing at his teammates whenever they were unable to catch his wildly inaccurate throws. (Then again, they've been playing with Jay Cutler; they should be used to errant passes.)

  • Mike Periera, his smug monotone, and his ridiculously toolish glasses made another appearance. Blech.
Just look at him. Ugh.

  • Oakland’s Shane Lechler had an 80-yard punt today against Chicago! Yeah, try to return that one, Devin Hester.

  • Von Miller looks like the Defensive Rookie of the Year to me. The entire Denver defense is impressive.

  • Percy Harvin had the longest non-scoring play in NFL history when he returned a kick for 104 yards. He got his team to the freakin’ three-yard line and they couldn’t score?! Not even a field goal?! This is what Percy gets for playing for Minnesota.

  • Jerome Simpson’s flop is awesome.

  • The Bears have a fullback names Tyler Clutts. What a terrible last name for an athlete.

  • Houston Texan’s tight end Owen Daniels took snaps at halftime, just in case the team lost third-string quarterback T.J. Yates, too. I’m always intrigued by who is each team’s emergency qb, and I always kind of want to see a punter or a wide receiver have to take significant snaps.

  • Ndamukong Suh. Yikes. You had a chance to escape with a one-game suspension until that disaster of a press conference. Not even your mother believed you on that one, hon. He had seen the tape, too, at that point, so he had to know what he was selling had absolutely no connection to the hard evidence that the entire country had seen. 
"Please excuse me, sir, while I try to regain my balance."

  • It’s pretty bad when your ex-teammate says you’re “out of control” and that something needs to be done about you.

  • As a Packers’ fan, I’ll just say thank you to Ndamukong Suh. That touchdown you gave us was a huge turning point in the game. See you in January - if you’re back from your suspension by then.

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