Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Thursday Night Football, Manning Faces, and Other Stuff

  •  Can I just say how stupid and unfair Thursday night games are?  Lucky San Diego and Oakland get to kickoff Thursday Night Football this week - FOUR days after their last game. And the following week the New York Jets get to play the New England Patriots in a night game on Sunday, and then have to travel across almost the whole country for a Thursday night game in Denver. The thing is, no one really likes Thursday Night Football. Thursdays are just not as conducive to football watching as Saturdays and Sundays and even Monday nights. (Notable exceptions are holidays because they’re, well, holidays.) I have things to do on Thursdays. I’m not the only one, either, which is why they never put good match-ups on Thursdays. So not only do most people not like TNF and not only is TNF unfair to the teams that have to play it, but the truth is the only reason for its existence is for the NFL Network to try to get in on some of the absurd revenue that NFL games generate. So go ahead and screw over teams that are trying to win tough games in competitive divisions so that the NFL Network can unleash more overly-bombastic and marginally-qualified announcers on the world.
  • The Arizona-St. Louis game would win the award for the most boring overtime game were it not for those last 15 seconds.

  • I don’t really care if the Packers go undefeated. It would be cool, and a bonus, but my heart’s certainly not set on it. I don’t think a loss would necessarily be a bad thing for them. I could never understand why Colts’ fans and everyone else in the entire world flipped out when the Colts gave up their perfect season 2009. I thought it was a good call. (I can understand how Peyton Manning might be upset, though.)
This is what comes up when you Google 'Peyton Manning sad.'

  • Chicago’s win Monday night was a big deal. But an even bigger deal is how devastating the loss was to the Eagles, who are now sitting at 3-5 instead of 4-4 in a division that’s up for grabs.
This is relevant because I'm talking about the Bears

  • It seems people are forgiving Mike Martz for the disaster that was the first three games of the season. But if I were a Chicago fan, I wouldn’t. I just can’t let go of the fact that it took this supposed offensive genius four weeks to figure out what every casual fan had realized from watching two minutes of Chicago's offense. Not to mention his refusal to make use of Cutler's former favorite target in Greg Olsen. And his decision to demote Johnny Knox for Roy Williams. And his frameless glasses he wears - I hate those kind of glasses!

This is relevant because Martz's play-calling caused a lot of sacks.

  • Stupid, ugly-faced Jay Cutler continues the best stretch of football I’ve ever seen him play.  Don’t look now, but Jay has had four zero-interception games this season! Plus, the Bears allowed zero sacks on Monday for just the second time since Cutler came to Chicago. This should upset a Green Bay fan like myself, but it doesn’t - it will just make it all the sweeter and funnier when the Bears inevitably collapse and all the Bears’ fans turn on their team faster than you can say “Jay Cutler sucks.”
This is relevant because Chicago didn't allow any of this on Monday night.

  • Mark Sanchez is a crappy quarterback who has good games when it matters. He is the anti-Tony Romo.

  • Everybody is excited about the 6-2 Bengals. I understand that Ohio sports fans haven’t had a lot to be a excited about lately, but let’s not coronate the Red Rifle just yet. The Bengals still have two games against the Steelers, and two against the Ravens. That pretty much puts them back to .500. If they win more than one of those 4 games, I will possibly consider reconsidering my view on them.
  • Tom Brady throws a lot of tantrums.

  • Packers linebacker Frank Zombo just can’t catch a break. People would start to call him injury-prone if he weren’t so tough! He broke his shoulder blade in a preseason game’s warm-ups, but then still played the game. Wore a sling for just one day, and returned two weeks earlier than expected. Then, in his first game back, he hyperextends his knee. He didn’t tell anyone because he thought it was a ligament tear which would end his season. “I thought I could be done for the season,” he explained, “So I said,Whatever, I'm going to play.” And again, he returns much earlier than expected, only to suffer a hamstring injury that will keep him out of next week’s game. Poor guy.
  • The New York Giants’ final 8 games are: at San Fransisco, Philadelphia, at New Orleans, Green Bay, at Dallas, Washington, at NY Jets, and Dallas. Ouch.
And this is what you get when you Google 'Eli Manning sad.'

See? Look how cute he is. Couldn't be his fault.

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