Monday, September 15, 2014

Sideline Ninja to the Rescue!


  • How ‘bout my Sideline Ninja?? Jordy Nelson racked up 209 yards against the New York Jets, the most by a Packer in 18 years! He averaged more than 20 yards per reception!




  • The game couldn't have started much worse for Green Bay, when they fumbled the ball at their own 16-yard line on the very first snap of the game. Then the defense looked the way a defense that has no inside linebackers looks, and before you knew it, the Jets were up 21-3! The Packers battled back, however, with Tramon Williams providing a key interception that set up a 97-yard touchdown drive before the half. After that, Jordy pretty much took over.

I've missed having a reason to use this picture.


  • On their first three drives, the Jets gained 180 yards and 21 points. On their last nine drives, they gained 132 yards and three points.

I know, Rex. It hurts.


  • Bryan Bulaga raised all our hopes by practicing this week, but wasn't ready to go, meaning Derek Sherrod was at right tackle for the whole game. I kept having flashbacks to that horrible time when Marshall Newhouse was our starting left tackle. *Shudder*

Sherrod [offscreen]: Sooorrrryyy, Aaaarrooon!


  • I can never keep Mike Daniels and Mike Neal straight (they're both big, black defensive linemen named Mike with last names that are male first names who wear similar jersey numbers), and I tend to conflate the two. The point is, Neal Daniels, as I like to call him, had a very good game: eight tackles, three for a loss, three quarterback hurries, and one sack. 

Good job, Mr. ... Mike!


  • Why didn't Casey Hayward play? I saw one report say it was because Green Bay preferred the bigger Davon House against the Jets, while another report suggested Hayward's ubiquitous hamstring issue was to blame. If the former is true, that's still stupid not to use one of your top two cornerbacks, and if it's the latter, someone on the Packers training team needs to Google how to treat hamstring issues because their track record is miserable.

Alright, let's start at the beginning: this is a hamstring...


  • Safety Micah Hyde and linebacker Andy Mulamba both left the game with injuries. Hyde's isn't considered to be very serious, but Mulamba's doesn't look good and could be season ending.



  • Aaron Rodgers surpassed Bart Starr to move into second place on the Packers all-time yards thrown list with 24,732. That is belt worthy.



  • I'm very happy with the Packers' comeback win, but I have to admit they got very lucky. The Jets' only real receiving threat, Eric Decker, went down early with a hamstring injury; a Rodgers' interception was wiped away by a 12-men-on-the-field penalty; and, of course, the poor Jets called a timeout just before the snap, which nullified what would have been a game-tying touchdown. That's rough.



  • How adorable are Jordy and Randall Cobb? The two of them couldn't stop praising each other in their post game interviews. (While we're on the subject of Randall: Stop. Using. Him. On. Punt. Returns.)

Awwwww! This is a lot what my dreams look like.



  • The injuries around the league this week were insane: Robert Griffin III, DeSean Jackson, Jamaal Charles, Knowshon Moreno, Ryan Matthews, Gerald McCoy, AJ Green, Eric Berry, Allen Hurns, Mark Ingram, Chris Conte, Charles Tillman, and Vernon Davis, among others, were all sidelined.



  • Is there anything JJ Watt can't do? After conquering the defensive side of the ball, he switched to offense just long enough to score a touchdown.



  • It was a weird week all around the NFL. The Redskins put up 41 points without their starting quarterback or top receiver; the team with Megatron managed only seven points; Atlanta was nearly held without a touchdown after a record-setting Week 1; the Saints lost to a Browns team that was again without their running back, top receiver, and Pro Bowl tight end; and the freaking Bears beat the freaking 49ers!!



  • I'm still working on gathering the proof, but I'm nearly certain that some sort of Freaky Friday-type situation happened on Sunday night. How else can you explain Jay Cutler throwing four touchdowns and no interceptions and only getting sacked once? While Colin Kaepernick threw one touchdown and three interceptions, fumbled once, and was sacked four times!!

I figured Jay looked enough like Jamie Lee Curtis that no further alterations were needed.


  • Brandon Marshall even miraculously managed to play, despite being reported as doubtful. He didn't look too gimpy.
  • And here's the most damning proof that something was off in the cosmos on Sunday night: Chris Conte not only didn't cost his team the game, but he also had an incredible interception.





  • Whoa, dudes! Look how cool Terrell Suggs* is!! Totally awesome!

*Also a wife-beater, but no one cares.


  • Hee hee. It's like the NFL equivalent of teenagers getting their braces stuck together.




  • The Jaguars have given up 75 points in the last two weeks, so at least some things make sense in the world.



  • Here's the situation: you're down seven points with under two minutes left in the game. You manage to get to the opponent's four-yard line with 1:04 to go. What do you do? If you're Andy Reid, you choose option G: call your last timeout.

It's the most intense match-up of the season: Andy Reid vs. Time!



  • The Seattle Seahawks lost! Woo hoo! Richard Sherman didn't handle the loss too well. I guess the apple doesn't fall from the coach.




  • I was watching the first few minutes of the San Diego-Seattle game, I thought Is that Antonio Gates? Is he still in the league?? Yes, yes he is. He caught all seven of his targets, three for touchdowns.



  • Charles Woodson was quite blunt in assessing his Raiders' performance: "We suck. It's frustrating because everything that everybody says about you, we're making them right ... I am really embarrassed."



  • And poor James Jones!! No one wants a double fumble on his highlight reel.



  • I'm still not happy about the Bears winning, but at least one good thing came from it.




  • Green Bay plays Detroit next week, the first of three straight divisional games. It's not nearly as much fun to hate the Lions now that Jim Schwartz isn't their head coach. Still, I'll try.


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